Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Chinese food tastes so oriental sometimes, sort of like asian food

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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Who's on first? Garvey.

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What is worse then having no dad? Russian dad that hates you a lot and wishes you drawn in vodka.

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Person 1: today my doctor said I'm dyslexic Person 2: oh yeah? Are you ahdd too?

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What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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troll lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol.olo90ololol.o.ool.olololol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.o.o.lol.ol.ol.ol.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

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why did Sarah fall of the swing... she had no arms Knock Knock.... Whos there .... Not Sarah

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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A boy called Justin bieber fell down a hole and died

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What's big, yellow and green? The sun, i was kidding about the green

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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A man sees the doctor. "Doctor, if I hit myself on my head, it hurts, if I hit myself on my arm, it hurts, and if I hit myself on my leg, it hurts as well." "The case is clear. You need to f*ing stop hitting yourself!"

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What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

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What did OJ Simpson say to the blonde? "Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you"

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to there son who got an A- in math? How would I know? I can't speak Chinese.

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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