How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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Why did the black guy hit his head while walking through a doorway? Because he was tall.

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A Muslim walks out of a bar... Because he doesn't drink alcohol

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What was the pirate's favorite letter? Many pirates were illiterate and so did not know any letters, much less have a favorite. However, even if this pirate were able to read, it is unlikely that we would be able to find out his favorite letter without asking him, since pirates were primarily in existence two to four centuries ago. In addition, most people don't have a favorite letter, and so a pirate would probably not be an exception.

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What time is it when grandpa sits ontop of a telephone pole and throws pineapples at people? Time to go to a nursing home

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

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I Used to be an Adventurer like you, Then I retired to achieve the top Anti-Joke.

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roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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Hey, you pee here? Yes, it's called a urinal

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here!" The other one says "We're both going to die in here and nobody will hear us scream."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

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Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, he was hit by a car.

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who do you call those who give this joke a thumbs down? people

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

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Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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