My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

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A horse, an apple, a leprechaun and a black man walk into a bar. They sit down and order drinks. The bartender looks at them and say "what is this, a joke?"

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My tractor broke down.

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What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? His name.

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why did the boy drop his icecream? Because he got hit by a boat

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Yo mamma is so old that she died.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your husband died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue TEST: Are roses red?

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What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling watermelon, fried chicken and corn bread? A poor business model.

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

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chuck norris once kicked a man verry hard that man proceded to lose contiosness and chuck norris was disqualified from the martial arts compatition

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What looks like half a loaf of bread. The other half

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What does the hulk do when he's angry? Compulsively masturbate.

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What did the jobless man get for Christmas? Fired...

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knock knock who's there ?? the police now get out !!

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Why did the little boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops