If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Knock Knock Who's there

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HALF LIFE 4 COMING OUT SOON!

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If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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Q: What's long, hard, and full of sea men? A: A submarine.

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Q: whats big gray and cant swim A: a castle

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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why was the pen lonely? because it didn't have a pen pall

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what do you call a sick eagle illegal

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What happened to the fish? It drowned

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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Whats worse than finding out that your family is dead? finding a worm in your apple

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Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Roses are red violet are blue i saw a machine and it was ps2

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How do you blindfold an asian? step 1: Fold your blindfold into a triangle step 2: Wrap blindfold around the head of the asian step 3: Tie the blindfold on the back of the asians head step 5: You forgot 4 step 6: Your finished step 4: Tighten the blindfold Now you know how to blindfold an asian ˜´??

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What do you call a gathering of Asians? A chinkfest

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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what do you call anybody eating at mcdohnalds? hungry, diabetic people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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