Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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How do you make a momma bird not fly back to its nest? Burn it down!!

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Your momma's so ugly, she has endure self-esteem issues relating to her appearance that have plagued her since grade school.

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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What is quite heavy and if it falls off a tree and hits you in your head you die? A sheets packet

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What is worse than when the Titanic sunk? You Cannot say. You were on that ship.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

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I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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How did the priest die? Masterbation

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A seal walks into a club.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

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How Many R's are in Terrence? two, how could there be 6?

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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An Asian tries to climb a staircase in a wheelchair. He finds this difficult, because he is in a wheelchair.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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