What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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Q: How Do You Stop a Bus? A: Pull the Brakes so it comes to a absolute stop.

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How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

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Q: What did one candle say to the other? A: Nothing, the mere thought of candles being able to possess the ability of speech is preposterous beyond any of the highest capabilities known to man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -because chickens have a free ability to walk and this chicken felt the urge to walk across the road. Why not?

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What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

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you first

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Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

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What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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what do you call Mackenzie Phillips? five head

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When Chuck Norris is in a puddle, he doesnt get wet....he wears rainboots.

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

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-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

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Tom has 24 cupcakes Tom then ate 24 cupcakes what does Tom have? Diabetes Tom got diabetes

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What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops