This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

why did the black guy get testicular cancer? because he put his balls in the microwave.

GOODBYE

Roses are red Violets are blue I have five fingers The third one's for you

Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

Stephen Hawking

why does my ass hurt? you have rectal cancer

Lebron Traveled

A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

What do black people and tornadoes have in common? - It only takes one to destroy a neighborhood.

knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

Your Mom is so fat... I'm sorry I didn't mean that.. I have abandonment issues.

Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

What's black, white, and red all over? A intro of darkness, then redness then whiteness

A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

what did God say on the 7th day? -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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