Why did the teacher get mad at the student? Because he ran over him with a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

thumb_up thumb_down +58

what happened when spongebob and Patrick were mean to sandy? she made a hurricane

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Is that a gun? Or are you forcing your boner into my back? Or is it something completely different that shares the physical characteristics of guns and boners?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was the boy at the funeral? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies. I don't have a Ferrari in garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

thumb_up thumb_down -7

you see theres this guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There once was the worlds most important people on an airplane. All of them. They were a Boy Scout with a hiking pack, World's Oldest person, World's Smartest person, a Scientist who had the cure to cancer, and the World's Richest man. The Pilot told them that the plane was running out of gas and they would have to bail. But there was a problem, two people were going to have to die. They were only two parachutes short. So the Scientist grabbed one and said, "I'm the only one with the cure to cancer I've got lives to save." And he bails. Then the World's oldest person jumps out with a parachute saying, "I Still Have A Life To Live!!!" Then the Richest person realizes there is two parachutes left. He says, "I have the most money so I have to go because I could save America from going bankrupt." Grabs a chute and jumps. Then, the world's smartest person just happens to be so selfish and bails with the last Parachute. So the Pilot and and the Boy Scout were left. The pilot was kind enough to let the Kid go because he still had he longest life to live. But the kid said no, we could both go. The pilot said no you go. The kid was still being stubborn. And said No, we could both go, The world's smartest person took my back pack, there is one chute left, we could share it. And so they both jumped and landed safely on the ground. And that was the end of the World's smartest man.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops