Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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Roses are red vielots are blue but they aren't as sweet as you.Can you be my Valentine ny choclate cupcake will you me my choclate

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What's the difference between a duck? both of it's legs are the same.

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Whats the difference between babies and a dart board? Dart boards dont bleed

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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trump and hillary are both stranded on an island, who survives? america

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A cat ran into the road...I hit it

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What's white and horny? a unicorn.

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if your in a wheelchair have no hair because of cancer and are being fed through a tube you should wait a couple of years before ending it. and wrinkles into the equation....... BANG

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

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How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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What do you call 3 horses in 1 boat, in the middle of the Dead Sea? Lost

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A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

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like a cammel, lewis stores his weed in his back

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Why did the man laugh when he saw someone using a shake weight? He remembered Dane Cook's stand up preformance from the night before.

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So what makes you that much adaptable? I get the feeling I should get this by now.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the other ____?

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Why did Billy fall off the slide? Someone threw a refridgerator at his face.

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Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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