Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin inside a blender.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead.

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

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A bar walks into a man

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A blind man walks into a wall.

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Whats the differance between a blond and a rock? I don't know. I can't think of any.

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Why did the Mexican mow his neighbors lawn? Because the Mexican was 12 years old and his neighbor was paying him $20 to mow the lawn.

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One time at band camp.............that's it........

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A horse walks into a glue factory..

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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A Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell peanuts." The duck turns around and leaves.

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Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

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How do you make a Muslim mad? You burn the Quran.

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Q. What's worse than 9/11? A. That one shark jumping episode of Happy Days.

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What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

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What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth? Lucky to have teeth.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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