What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

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roses are red you are dumb no one will care when you die

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Your momma is so white, when she goes out in the sun it is necessary for her to use a lotion with an SPF greater than 30 because she burns easily and is also afraid of skin cancer.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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whens your birthday? July 16th What year? Every year

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So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

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Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

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There once was a man in Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He awoke with a fright In the middle of the night To find that someone was breaking into his house

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, the holocaust was a tragic event in human history.

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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Knock Knock Come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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