Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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Roses are ??red Vilotes are ????blue I am single and now so are u???? no go move on I don't need u I have some weed and I'm willing to kill u

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Roses are red Violets are red Your flowers are red Yes set your garden on fire

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Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops. tom halls mum

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why didnt Tim Tebow go to church? He had practice half an hour before the service was scheduled to start, and to do both was impossible and missing practice would have resulted in disciplinary action from both his coaches and his teammates.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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Nickelback.

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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Why are all teachers stupid? They´re not. Why would you say that?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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Did u know that 10/10 people die?

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Mud.

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When I was a kid, I had a clown at my birthday party. He molested me. Later I found out the clown was my dad.

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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because at some point through out the day, it had been relocated to the other side of the road. Since it was feeding time, it needed to return to the chicken coop or else risk death due to starvation.

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Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

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what did the blind man get for christmas? Cancer.....

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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So a 12 year old suicide bomber walks in to a military base and kills 31 soldiers. It happened. Look it up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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