A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

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What's red, white, and blue? light purple

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Adele Gordon walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' Because she is a horse lol.

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey.

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What is worse than falling into a pit of needles? being lit on fire and then falling into a pit of needles I imagine

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How do you make a clown cry? Hit him with a chair then rape his children

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what did the homeless guy get for christmas nothing!

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind

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A bear walks into a bar. Animal control was contacted and the bar was evacuated.

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JEWS

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

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In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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What's worse than getting arrested? getting arrested on your birthday.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Who got his head stuck in a bucket He yanked and he yowled, he hollered and howled, Then gave up and grumbled, "Aw, I guess I'll have to go to the doctor."

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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ask me if im a tree are you a tree? yes.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? i lost my tractor

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So, a guy sees a guy, and asks that guy if he's seen a guy who knew this guy who saw this guy who killed this guy, who knew a guy who is Barack Obama's best friend. Oh wait, Barack Obama doesn't have any friends.

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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