Did you hear the one about the nascar driver who couldn't pass his road test? No. It's true, he couldn't pass his road test.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There are two angry guys in a park on their lunch break What do they do? They eat their sandwich and go back to work to settle a peace treaty.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Who is big and stupid My brother

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says "What is this? A joke?" They then proceed to rape the barman.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops