What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction? That you need to be more specific.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

The sentence at the bottom is true. The sentence at the top is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What goes up but never comes down? This dick

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A woman walked out of the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

thumb_up thumb_down -9

penis

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's black, white, has green stripes and smells like eggs? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red Violets are blue Today is your birthday So happy birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is white on the top and black on the bottom? Society

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

i used to be gay. now i am bisexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

thumb_up thumb_down -25

TELL

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q. Whats long and and can drip out fluids? a tap.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man goes to a doctor and says , "My arm hurts in 3 places." the doctor says, "Dont go to those places.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Suppose an American, an Indian, a dinosaur, and a leprechaun are on a plane together. Which one would be the first to chug a 7 pound bottle of coke? The situation is too unlikely, with the odds of it occurring being less than 1%, therefore the question cannot be answered accurately.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What does an eagle and a worm have in common? They both live in the ground. Except the eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops