what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm Scizophrenic And so am I.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

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Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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What do you call 200 black men jumping from a plane? Night

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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A bear walked into a bar, unfortunately there were no survivors.

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I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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