How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

hey i just met you.... and this might just sound crazy but i have a bad case of short term memory .....were we talking????

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A girl accidentally clicks on an advertisement while on anti-jokes.com, the girl silently curses and quickly presses the back button.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

thumb_up thumb_down +5

guys ive got a TANK under my house a septic tank

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats 2+2? 4

thumb_up thumb_down +14

two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

this is a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops