How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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Have you seen the 6th sense? Nope, is it good? Yeah Bruce Willis is dead

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Whats worse than The Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Where did John go? Refrigerator

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What did Michael Jackson think when someone threw a tomato off his head? The same as he was thinking before it happened, because everything that goes through Michael Jackson's head is pornographic images.

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why is six afraid of seven? because six is a rapist

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How many guys does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because all meaning in his life were gone.

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A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

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Why could the kid not finish his homework? Because it flew out the window on the way to his parents funeral

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what does a horny frog say RUBIT RUBIT

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN's ON FIRE!!!!!

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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Q-how many dead babies does it take to paint your geradge door? A-one if you throw it hard enough

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Why did the boy cry Because he fell

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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Arron Glass

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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