How do you give an 80 year old man a heart attack? Hold a gun to his head

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You're a country without the "tree". Did you just call me a cunt?

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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Why did sally break her arm? A piano fell on her

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Two muffins are in an oven. Ten minutes later we're enjoying delicious muffins together.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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How do you make bread out of corpses? You don't. You grow it with bread seeds.

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Why did the girl gO shopping?! Because she got paid and wanted to blow(;

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Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you smell like crystall meth.

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O'Malley, an Irishman; Adam, a Jew; and Patrick, a gay man, walk into a bar. Oh crap. I just outed Patrick.

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Whats a joke with no meaning? This one

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What is worse than Jerry Sanduski? Nothing

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how do you turn your dishwasher into a garbage disposal? make her take out the trash.

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What's worse than cancer? Death.

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar? "Hi, may I buy you a drink?"

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

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hi. thats what she said.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. -Albert Einstein... LOL JOKES my name is PJ.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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