Knock knock? Whose there? Colin Come in

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How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? With artillery.

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A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

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But then it wouldn't be an anti joke ya bellendo

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, the red man lives in the red house and the green man lives in the green house, where does the orange man live? In the orange house.

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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What's the difference between John Candy and Chris Farley? Nothing. They're both dead.

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guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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A Cow Walk's Into A Bar And Say's Drink Please The Bartender Is Then Sent To A Mental Hospital For Talking To A Cow.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

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What did the Asian get on his math assignment? 56%, he forgot about it and passed it in a day late with a number of questions uncompleted.

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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