Darkness Falls Across The Land The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Getting Down Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver For No Mere Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Thriller

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A guy walks into a bar. He was an alcoholic and it was destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a nutcracker and a can of tomato soup? Oh... I don't know, I was asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why didn't the black man get the scholarship? Because he didn't apply for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I went river dancing once. I fell in

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Turnabout: American study of the Japanese Stereotype man: Murican: Excuse me Mr Japanese. Jap: The answer is within the heart of battle.. Murican: Yes but I just want to ask you some few questions. Jap: You are disturbing my feng shui I must power of the mystical fireball of surge fist energy get... *uppercuts waterfall BECAUSE REASONS!* Murican: What? But this is a serious study! Jap: Sowwy I do nothe speeky the shamefull language of the engrish! Murican: But you just said... Sigh... Conclusion: Carpet bombing of Japan funding increased. "slap a Jap" commercial project from world war two reinstated for the safety of the American people. Experiment two: The study of a American man raised in Japan. Murican: Hello I wonder if... American raised in japan: GADOUKEN GADOUKEN GADOUKEN! ORA ORA! Murican: Dead/KO. American/Japan: FRAWRESS VICTOLY! Result: World war 3 GET!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the deer jump, because there was something in it's way

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why didnt the boys drink the coffee? because she coughed on it

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Thats malarious! When something is so funny that... malaria

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do women hate getting shot? They die.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a black person flying an airplane? a pilot you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are unintelligent creatures of instinct, and can tell no significant differences between the pavement and the road. It was unfortunate that a bus was speeding past at the moment this event happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops