Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar and see's a 12 inch pianoist. He walks to the bar tendar and asks "Where'd you get it" The bar tendar says we have a genie in the back. So the man walks back the and wishes for 12 million BUCKS , The genie gives him 12 million DUCKS, The man walks back out and said " I asked for 12 million BUCKS not 12 million DUCKS and the bar tendar says do you really think i asked for a 12 inch pianoist?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Me and me!!!! LOL! i'm a comedian!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the man die from drinking the water? It wasn't water, it was acid.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get a one-armed kid down from a tree? Wave.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Two gay men walked into a bar in a bigoted, small-minded town and were beaten to death with shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hi my name is Bob

thumb_up thumb_down

There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's big and messy? A big mess

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?" The horse cannot understand what the bartender said and instead finds it threatening, so it has a complete spasm and wrecks the whole bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Adam Fantuzzi loves stroking jacobs small penis

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

vitamin c

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

one time when i bought a sonic blast they gave me a regular? size spoon and i was like this is a huge inconvenience.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops