rose's are red violets are blue bernard is mine and yours too if you hurt him in any way i'll punch you in your face and make you gay Krissc

I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

why did jimmy stop eating his breakfast two Penn state officials knocked at the door

Why did the young man not want to go to school? Because he had a large tumor on the left side of his face.

A man jumped off a cliff. He died.

What's the difference between gays and straights? Sexual orientation

"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

This will be the least popular anti-joke. Dislike this joke.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

can the real slim shady please stand up? no. there is a slim shady in all of us, so we will all stand up.

Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

What can Harry Potter NOT see with his glasses? His parents...alive.

Your Momma's so fat when the whales see her they don't say anything as they are unable to speak the human language.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

Why did the basketball team from Detroit win the youth championship? Because they had a good coach amd dedicated, hard-working players.

Whats the difference between a cobra and the hulk? One is my penis and the other one is a cobra.

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...