Why was the woman sad on her 21st birthday? Because she was born on September 11,1980

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1 pack of bacon 2 fat guys. They both die fighting over it.

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Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

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why are you people on anti-joke? BECAUSE you have NO LIFE !

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What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

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Why did the 16 year old black kid drop out of high school? He started a successful small business selling mixtapes.

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Anybody else hate when people mispell words in jokes It ruins the joke Most them prob some scumbags Probs to Jeffrey K April 12, 2013 1:55 PM

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whats funnier than 24? 25

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No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants. What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming wearing a pair of sunglasses? Like wearing a pair of sunglasses as a dhitty disguise would confuse me. I took law at UCLA before becoming a professional game hunter and I've been in this business for almost 10 years. I think I know an elephant with or without sunglasses.

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hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

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knock knock who's there boo boo who why are you crying it's just a joke

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A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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What rhymes with ten? Rape..... What rhymes with boat? Float.....

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what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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