My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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Why did the girl drown? She had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

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what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

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a car drives off a cliff whos driving? an asin woman!

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How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

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Knock knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Alzheimer who? Knock knock.

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Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

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how do you confuse a blonde? shes already confused Leave.Her.Alone.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it could not afford sandals.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why such the long face?" the horse is now crying in tears because the bartender made him. by Brennan pickrell

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because lately the posts on "anti-joke.com" have not been anti-jokes. Not even a little.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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what did the kid say when pee-wee was about to rape him ...huh just make it quick

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Women rights..

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How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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Today is March 22.

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How do you get a one-armed kid down from a tree? Wave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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