Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, he just waved.

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What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

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How long did it take the world's most powerful democracy to elect a black President? Less than a day.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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A Mexican and a Black man are in a car. Who's driving? The police officer.

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make me a sandwich!

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Q: what do you call obama A:a dumbass

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked

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What's better than a worm in your apple? No worms in your apple.

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start

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What's the difference between a mac and a pc? Well haven't you seen the commercials.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? -slavery

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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What do you call a leper in a spa bath? Say excuse me Sir (or Madam), I notice you have leprosy, did you know that it is treatable? MDT for multibacillary leprosy consists of rifampicin, dapsone, and clofazimine taken over 12 months. Dosages adjusted appropriately for children and adults are available in all primary health centres in the form of blister packages.[17] Single dose MDT for single lesion leprosy consists of rifampicin, ofloxacin, and minocycline. The move toward single-dose treatment strategies has reduced the prevalence of disease in some regions, since prevalence is dependent on duration of treatment. World Leprosy Day was created to draw awareness to leprosy and its sufferers

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What's worse than having a bad hair day? Vietnam.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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