How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

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-What did George Clooney say to Jennifer Lawrence? -"Hi!"

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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What is orange and smells like a jewish cat. Nothing

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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Your momma's so fat: She fears a lower life expectancy and consequently not seeing her grandchildren grow up.

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What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

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Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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Roses are red Cranberries are tart It sure stinks when you fart

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

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Kid 1: Hey, guess what? Kid 2: Your MOM! HAHA! Kid 1:... My mother died two months ago from brain cancer after being shot in the head while fighting for our country in Iraq... Kid 2:.... um.. Your mom...?

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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What did the blondes left leg say to her right leg? Nothing they haven't met yet.

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What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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A drunk is pissing on the plaza and the cop stands next to him and says, very nice. The drunk says, that's what she said. : )

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why did the goat go up the ladder? because its ladder goat

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So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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