What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

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A black, white, Asian, and Mexican are walking down the street. This is showing a good diverse community.

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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How much dirt was in a hole that was 6 feet wide and 6 feet deep? None. It's a hole.

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Whats Brown And Sticky?! My Shit!

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you go into the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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So I'm balls deep in this 9 year old...

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What does a baby and a bowling ball share in common? They both displace a similar amount of water.

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Someone thinks Justin Bieber is strait

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

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There was a man on a park bench and he saw a duck fly by so he decided to go and see what it was up to. He saw that it was just going for a swim in a near by pond. He died 2 years ago of auto erotic asphyxiation because of a common fetish.

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A bear walks into a bar. Animal control was contacted and the bar was evacuated.

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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A list of comebacks: Hows ur face nancy grace ur mom ur face ur moms face take it to my butt, cuz ur the only one that gives a crap

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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