A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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A jew, an Arab, and A Scientist walk into a bar. The arab self explodes and kills them all

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Roses are blue vilotets are yellow, obviously I don't know this rhyme so well u have aids and will die of cancer at the age of 25, and so will ur mom

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What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

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how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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Who's there? Knock Knock.

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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A man walks into a bar. Then he buys a beer.

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A man in an airport asked me if i wanted my bag to be carry-on. So i said yes.

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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Your mom is so fat when she sat on wallmart she lowered the prices

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So there was once this cool little dude that had a purple nose. People would walk by on the streets and say, "Hey! That's a cool nose!" Purple nose man appreciated that they didn't pretend it wasn't there, and instead celebrated the diversity. The next day, he was scalped.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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cerleb i wrote the one about melons!

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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Your Momma’s muscle to fat ratio can only be explained in irrational complex numbers.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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