An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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What did the cat say to another ? meow

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Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the gay guys house Knock knock Who is there The chicken!!!!!!

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What's long, brown, and runs across a family's backward? A fence.

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Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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Good for him. Thats wonderful!

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What's up? Not the planes, there's a terrorist on board

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ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

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How many aborigines does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They have no idea what electricity is.

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What did the disabled boy get on Christmas morning? Cancer.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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My jeans

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I walked into temptation yesterday, He said hi.

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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What's worse than Fantasy Basketball? Playing Fantasy WNBA.

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Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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