Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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what's worse then a blowjob?

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

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Did you hear about the Englishman who ran all the way to Loch Ness? Oh, that's a shame, because I didn't either.

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What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

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Yo momma so stupid, she's stupider than this joke.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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A blind man accidentally walks into a gay bar. The bartender escorted him out and pointed him in the right direction.

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What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He hurt himself.

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What do you get when you put a frog in a paper shredder? Harshly punished by the Animal Humane Society

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"Hey baby, did it hurt when you fell from up there?" "Waaaaaaahhhhh..." "Ok, let me kiss it better."

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Why did the mother tell her son to get a job. She was tired of buying Generic brand food.

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Q: What did the littl boy with cancer get for christmas? A: Nothing, he didnt make it that far.

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Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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Q: you wanna hear a joke? A: yeah sure. Q: well im not gnna.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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A man walks into a bar, and he says, "ow,".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

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There was a man workin at the supermarket, when a cow with a hat entered. He realized that it couldn't be really happening and had to be a dream. Effectively: he was dreaming. Actually, he was in jail, and his execution was scheduled for that day.

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Vicky is my best friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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