Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why was Chris crying? There was a robbery at his house and both of his parents were brutally murdered.

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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What did the car do? CRASH!

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How does a man with no arms ride a bicycle? He can't, he loses control and falls over, getting a few scrapes and bruises.

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Why did schlomo fall off the swing He lost balance because Muslims threatened to kill him

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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"Your invited!" "Invited to what?" "I can't tell but everybody you know." " He he."

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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A mexican and a black person are in the back of a car. Whos driving? A bus driver.

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What did Iran say to Israel? ALLLLAHH

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

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Womans baksetball...

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Ask Me If I'm A Piece of Bread Are You a Piec--- Nope

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What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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You know what's funny about Fox news? Nothing. Lying to the public isn't funny at all.

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69

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what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

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How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, I LOVE YOUR MOMA CAUSE SHE STINKS OF POO :) BY VICKY CASSIDY, RENATA SZABO, ELLA AND HEIDI MCMILLAN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops