Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

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A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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what's purple and tastes like a grape? a grape.

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Agent 47.

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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What number is funnier than 23? 24.

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children of those parents which re childless, often are childless too...

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If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

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Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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a boy says hi.The girl says bye. The boy starts to cry.

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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Why can't Hellen Keller play hide and go seek? Because she is dead.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I beat my family.

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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