whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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What does Chuck Noris have under his beard? A chin

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Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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What do you call a handyman with no arms? By his name.

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Why was the camel sad he wasnt, camels dont have feelings

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I really hate poultry related jokes.

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where did Lucy go when the bomb dropped? everywhere.

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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What do you get when you make a website to put jokes on? People repeating the same joke over and over again, and still managing to get good ratings.

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

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Why did Jack and Jill fall down the hill? Because they were donuts

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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give me thumbs up or i'll rape u to death

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William wright is Gay

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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how do you get a clown off a swing? hit him with an axe

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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