What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Women.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the middle-aged black man lose his job? Because in this day in age, many businesses are being forced to lower their pay-roll, and he could no longer be afforded.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the serial killer eat for breakfast? You.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What would Hitler say if you give him a sandwich? Thankyou!

thumb_up thumb_down

why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I had 99 problems Solved them all

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats black and has white cream in it? Oreos

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you do when a taco eater eats your food? Beat him with the nearest black man's dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

[] i have read and agree to the terms of service Nope

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There once was a woman from Ealing, Who had a peculiar feeling She went to the doctors and was consequently diagnosed with Chlamydia

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock Who is there? The IRS coming to take your house

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops