Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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So I was sitting in traffic the other day... And I got run over.

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What's the difference between 10,000 dead babies and a Farari? I don't have a Farari in my garage.

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There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

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Why is motorboating so much fun? Because they are unmatched for their speed and agility in the water.

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A daring man proclaimed "Well, here goes nothing!" as his FaceBook status, and all his friends were annoyed.

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What happened to the boy who ditched his friends and lied to them...? His appendix exploded.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple You thought I was going to steal an anti-joke didnt you squidward

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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Felix? The Lucky cat? That is the only thing that comes to mind, I am dead tired, but I really don't mind staying up until I cant anymore physically, as for mentally I am getting pretty bad as for company.

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DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIEDIEDIEIDEIDIEIDEIIDIE DIE all of you Hahahaha

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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Cheese

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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what do you call someone who hates jews anti semitic

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Why did the TV fall of a cliff? Because a nice man was donating it to the homeless shelter which hangs over a cliff. The man placed the TV in the back room on the floor. There was a weak spot on the floor and when the fattest homeless person walked over the floor, the floor broke which was a HUGE inconvenience because he TV and the fat man fell through the floor and over the cliff, luckily the TV was plugged in so it was hanging by the cord but an old lady with Alzheimer's forgot that there was a hole in the floor and unplugged the TV so she could clean the switches. In the end the TV fell off the cliff.

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Matt Damon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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