I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's wet.

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So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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how do you boil oil? add b to oil

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Tunechi

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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one of my friends died of heartburn today :( i cant believe gav is gone

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What happens when you drop a baby? It falls.

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3021 North Broadway Avenue

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" "It's Mr. Johnson, your next door neighbor." "Come on in."

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Why was Frankenstein green? Because he painted himself green. Frankenstein is the scientist, not the monster.

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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What does a blonde's pussy taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage.

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "So why are you so happy?" The amputee doesn't answer because he has been completely deaf, blind and mute since birth.

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Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

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What do you say to the man with lopsided balls? I am terribly sorry, your condition has most certainly left you socially alienated and confused.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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whats difference between a bench and a mexican? a mexican isnt a bench

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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