What did the lady with Alzheimer's do yesterday She can't remember

One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

what does the sloth say to Jonah reincastle? nothing Jonah is the sloth

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

Why can't Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish

A disabled man runs into a bar. He notices he's not disabled and realizes his mother lied to him his whole life.

really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

Why did the chicken cross the road? So it could cause traffic accidents.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

What happens when two black people go into a store with masks on? They buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

Your Mom

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

I'm so full I could stop eating.

how many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb just 2 but it beats me how they got in there

what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, and then come back halfway? A: He was racing his friend to the other side. He didn't realize his friend got hit by a truck until he looked back. He continually cried until finally he got it together and walked over to his dead friend. He wasn't paying attention though, and another truck hit him. The truck driver continued his road trip and bought KFC for dinner.

person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

What's worst then not getting anything on Christmas? Rape, Murder, Dying.

roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

The weels on the bus go...flat

Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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