Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't make sense Your cute

thumb_up thumb_down -93

what do you call two indian men lying next to each other? i dont think there is a name for it but im sure you call them by there names.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the women's basketball player laughed at. The slippery floor caused her to stumble and fall.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

yo mama so dumb that we sat her down to take a standardized, comprehensive IQ test measuring spatial, logical, linguistic, and memorization abilities. Her aggregate score was an 87, indicated she is roughly one standard deviation below the mean of the population, which is not low enough to qualify for government assistance under the Americans with Disabilities Act (1990) but does impede her understanding of more complex abstract concepts and things pertaining to higher culture. In spite of this, she has raised a child of average intelligence, and has retained the same job at Walgreen's for 14 years, People seem to like her because she is polite and rarely late. Your mother is an inspiration to low-IQ people living in high-IQ developed countries, demonstrating that an inability to fully understand abstracts does necessarily lead to a life of meagerness and frustration, so long as you work hard, keep your spirits high, and accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

(kid is eating a round fruit) friend: Get me an apple too. Kid: I wish I could The kids friend later realizes that his friend was actually eating a peach.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

thumb_up thumb_down -24

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Haikus are useful Actually they are not.... ....I am so sorry

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Wanna hear a joke? A Republican political activist.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops