A man and his son are in a store, the man says to his son, "That candy bar has your name on it." The son replies, "I wish that you didn't name me Butterfingers." The dad answers, "I wish that you were never born."

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer.

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why was the man masturbating? his wife needed a break

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller have a baby? A: Because she is dead. ...I IS HORNY!

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A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

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yfygcugyuyc

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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scientology.

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Why was the boy rolling down the hill? Cause he's stupid

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Q: How do you make a black man nervous? A: Threaten to kill his family.

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

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What happens when you shoot a black man? You go to prison because murder is a criminal offense.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night and realized that his house was being robbed.

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Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

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Ben Colbert is gay

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

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A man walks into a bar. Realizing that he left his keys in his car, he called a locksmith to unlock the doors. He did not have money to pay this locksmith and was put in prison for his large sums of debt. He was shanked by a fellow inmate and died a few days later in the prison's hospital ward.

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What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

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How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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Q: What's blue and smells like baby. A: A choking baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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