What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not? --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

How did the kid drop his ice he got hit by a train Griffin Cholette

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What did Hellen Keller say to her baby cousin? Nothing

what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

Is this a chair?

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

> Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? > Because he had severe autism and was Ambulophobic.

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "So why are you so happy?" The amputee doesn't answer because he has been completely deaf, blind and mute since birth.

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

What do you call it when a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Vicar meet for a drink at the bar? A social gathering.

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber where walking in New York . They both get ice cream... then bieber gets hit by a bus.

your mom.

why couldn't the Mexican get a job? because of the multiple racist jokes gave his ethnicity a bad name.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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