Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

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D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

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What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

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guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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one fish two fish red fish kill the fish

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2 Penises

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Q: what r u eating under there? A: underwear ewww thats nasty

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That guy is so lame, he needs a wheelchair to go places.

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How u know when ur sister have periods... Fathers dig taste like blood

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Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Colorblindness isn't funny And neither are you

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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What is red and not there? No tomatoes.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ben. Oh hi! come in.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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