A woman wearing a very fancy, striped sweater walks into a bar and sits down. The bar tender asks her “what’ll it be”?. The girl replies “Just a beer for me”. As this happens a child in Africa dies from complications due to starvation.

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

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A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

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roses are red violets are blue bannas are yellow so is my wife

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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imagine a world without santa ill make it easy, lookout the window

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why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

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Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt, its just a myth

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Why did the Nazi doctor drown a Jew in the lake? Because he felt like it.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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Why didn't the man say, "Hello, Morgan Freeman!" when his friend walked by? Because his friend wasn't Morgan Freeman.

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Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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what is a bike without wheels? not a bike.

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red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

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Why did little Timmy fall down? Because he was shot in the head.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Actually it is,how may i help you?

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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Q: Why was the bacteria afraid of the sanitizer? A: Because hand sanitizers are made up of ethyl alcohol, inactive additives such as water, other alcohols and fragrances. Ethyl alcohol is the active ingredient in hand sanitizer and is designed to kill germs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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