Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

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a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

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Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

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What did the boy do when he was bored and broke? He took to the streets selling illicit drugs such as cocaine. Although dangerous, the rush from said danger solved his boredom problem. On top of this, there is a huge market for such substances and he was not broke for much longer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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http://attachments.conceptart.org/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=351301&stc=1&d=1208673890

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

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What's worse than farting in a silent class room? Denying it and farting a second time.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

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Yo momma is so fat that we are incredibly concerned for her health.

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Q: What do you call a black guy with an air plane? A: A pilot you racist bastard!

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Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

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What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar.

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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Why was the boy sick? Because he accidently ate his own feces.

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Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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