how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the police officer arrest Maxwell? Because he's black.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is Kanye West's main goal in life? To crush the hopes and dreams of singing stars on national television, beginning with Taylor Swift.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You: Mike and Steve were playing chess, who won? Them: Mike You: no, it was steve

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is black and beats up white people? a cop you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

i hate anti-jokes ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +9

so if you need 20 dollars and you just kicked your cat how old is your mom. cake because you are a 666 member.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down

why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the blind, deaf, mute child get for Christmas? Leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down -22

#IHateHashtags

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern ppoorrnnoo-graphic collections.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Three men walk into a bar, they are promptly served and then they go home. Later that evening the bartender closes the bar and goes upstairs to his apartment where he is struggling with his debt... Business hasn't been as good these days.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops