I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

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what are you called if your really funny but you not smart? the class clown

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i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

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A bench doesn't breathe, apparently Mexicans do.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

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A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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Q: Why did the paraplegic go to the gym? A: to watch his friend work out

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Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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Two Poles are walking down the street. One says "Look out, I think that's dog shit." The other man thanks him and avoids the excrement.

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What do Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, and Pamela Anderson all have in common? All of their last names end with an "n"

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Why is your Mom so ugly? She was born that way

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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