Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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i ate and i ate and i was sick on the floor 8x8=64

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"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

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Why did the baby fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms.

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"The hills are alive..." Impossible, hills can never be alive.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

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Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

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what do you call someone who kills jews? a life saver

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Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with no punchline

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

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Ehh

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Why can't Hank drive? Hank is a stone.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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