mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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Adam Turkolowoskiaklfadjufsdjksbgsgsafafdsg

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Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

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why did the man paint his house? cause he never wanted to mow the lawn

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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a:two guys are white but one of the guys can only see black and white so he said dude you black he said no so they have a race who won :nobody they both got hit by a bus then a car then a donkey eaea then a horse

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Whats Better Than Apple Pie Sweeeet Pie

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there is a blonde, red head, and brunet held captive in afghanistan. The people say whats your last word to the red head, she says tornado... they turned and she escaped, they say to the brunet what is your last word, she says tsunami.. they turn and she escaped. They go to the blonde and say what is your last word, she says fire... she is then shot rapidly and she dies.

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"I like my women like I like my spare tires, in the trunk of my car." -Paul Alangadan

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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roses are red violets should be purple

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PLEASE LIKE TO DONATE 50 CENTS TO MY CHARIDY .... SAVE THE PENGUINS IN AFRICA -BY LUKE BRANIFF

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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What is funnier than 9 black fellas dead in a trashbin? 1 black fella dead in 9 trashbins.

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob Who? Bob the human.........

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Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

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Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

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Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Knock knock Come in

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A blonde and a brunette nearly fell off a cliff and were hanging on for dear life. The brunette found the strength to climb back onto the ledge. The blonde was impressed and had muscular dystrophy so she lost the strength to hold on any longer and fell to her death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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