Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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a man walked into a bar....

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Listen pretty lady, NO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING FOR LIKE SIXTEEN HOURS OR SOMETHING NON STOP STRAIGHT, IS VERBOTEN! Honestly, for me its a bit of a requirement, sure girls can go all like "But you are like friendzoned to me now", but then I... Hmm, you know, not a womanizer,my wife has the right word for it, I am a seducer.... Suddenly I do not like the sound of that, actually Its not a bit of a requirement, it is TOTALLY a requirement. Say, does it bother you when I mention my wife like at randomness?

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John has 32 candy bars, he eats 28..what does he have now? Diabetes.

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

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A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

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Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

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A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Falafel. Falafel who? I falafel. You feel awful? Ha, ha, ha! Oh, what a kneeslapper! Oh, God! Thanks for the laugh, I was feeling a little down and I... No, I just meant I ate a falafel. Oh. Yeah.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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What's worse than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

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John Travolta went to a seafood disco last week.

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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A man drives home from a bar one night, He is under the influence and his reckless driving will costs many innocent people their lives.

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What happened when the Texan saw snow for the first time? He said "Oh my goodness this is cool"

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whats the difference between colby and a high schooler? Colby hasn't matured yet

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on the training and hence productivity of the babies.

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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Roses are blue Violets are unicorns This doesn't make sense Refrigerator

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Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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vatalk you are retarded!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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