Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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Why can't you give a diabetic a cookie? Due to the lack of Insulin produced in the Pancreas, the sudden spike of sugar into the blood stream may send the person into a diabetic coma, which good possibly result in the amputation of a limb.

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Why did the girl fall down the hill? Her boyfriend pushed her.

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I hate all races.. Especially the 400 meter sprint

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2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

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Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Ruff, hi, ruff ruff, we are both dogs ruff ruff, ruff ruff, ruff!!

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What is the difference between a goat? It can neither ride a bike.

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Harry Styles

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "I'm Japanese". The guy at the counter says "What a coincidence! I am Japanese too." He gets seated and the guy next to him says, "I'm Japanese too." The bar is in Japan.

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why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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So, theoretically, if we controlled the media, what would be different then?

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Q. What's worse than 400 babies going down the road at 80 miles per hours in a garbage truck? A. The same babies being dumped into a trash compactor

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A man walks into a bar . . . he is tired and thirsty after a long day at work.

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The awkward moment when you have cancer.

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what do you call someone that works in a corner shop? Mohamed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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