If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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Brians mother always told him to reach for the stars. He died the next morning.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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hi im tom. whats your name? joe. hi im tom. whats your name? joe... tom has short term memory loss.

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Why did the white girl fuck the mexican? Because her teacher told her to do an "essay"

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a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

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If there are 50 oranges and 50 waffles tied to a fence post. How many cow utters does it take to shit green? urine.

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a man walks into a bar....... thats it.

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

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A jew, a homosexuel and a black guy are on a plane. It crashes and they all die in horrible circumstances.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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a boy walks over to the living room and shouts " happy birthday, daddy!!" the response is "i'm a cup, therefore i do not have a birthday because i am an inanimate object."

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your Fallopian tubes ripped out by wolverine

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Q:Why did the Mexican cross the border? A:To come to America to provide for his starving family.

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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Q: Whats blue and fluffy A: Blue fluff Q: Whats brown and fluffy . A: The bear that killed my parents.

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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