Why wasn't the rabbit elgible to vote? Because rabbits aren't human beings, and only humans are allowed to vote.

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yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

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what does trondifly mean? trondify is not a real word.

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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I see said the blind man, to his deaf wife, as the cripple ran by.

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NASCAR being considered a sport.

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Terrorist jokes make me explode with laughter.

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Why shouldn't you drink and drive? Because you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

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What did one cat say to another? Cats cant talk

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cancer

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What do you call a police woman who shaves her pubes? PC Marion Jones

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What do you call ten black men running down the street? A race.

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What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

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What did George Washingtn say to is men before crossing the Delaware? Men, get in the boat.

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What is similar between a penguin and a newspaper? If you kill a penguin, then grind it up into a fine powder, then the penguin becomes a newspaper.

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? It's illegal to eat the Jew.

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What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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what did the fish say when he was eaten by a shark nothing fish cant talk

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she had just witnessed the slaughter of her entire family and friends in front of her eye, leaving her not only peerless and alone, but also with the mental scars which come with witnessing such a harrowing ordeal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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