How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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Good luck on your finals everyone!

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What do andy and Justin Bieber have in common? they are both 5'7

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What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

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guess wat chicken butt guess why chicken thy guess who chicken poo guess how he chickened out

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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Q: If a midget walks by a woman stops and says "your hair smells nice today" is it sexual harassment? A: Yes, sexual harassment is a very serious subject and should not be allowed no matter your race, religion, or size.

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69

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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Why did the man have a hole in his head? He was shot.

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What is the difference between finding a dead black man on the street or a dead dog? There are tire marks in front of the dog.

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Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

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How do dogs mark their territory? With legal documents.

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Tony Romo

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A duck walks into a bar. A horse walks into a bar. A cow walks into a bar. A bear walks into a bar. The owner tells them to get out, but they can't understand humans. So they just stayed there.

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A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating

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What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

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If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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