If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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A man walks into a bar and a lady asks "Can I help you?" The man replies "No." and walks out of the bar.

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Q: What did the Kool-Aid Man say when he crashed through a wall? A: "OW! That hurt!"

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Q: Why did little Johnny not like little Suzie? A: He was a homosexual.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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Where did Little Sally go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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What do you call a black man at school the janitor

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why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

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What's grey got white stripes and can't climb trees? Car park.

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Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have a gun BANG!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? neither has he

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why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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