Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

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What do you call a black man with pantyhose on his head. A white guy in the dark with black pantyhose on his head

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Heskey time.

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knock knock whos there a boy a boy who ? oh, sorry he just got hit by a train.

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your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

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Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

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What happened when the woman sent back the pair of shoes she bought on eBay? She obtained a refund from the seller under eBay's return policy.

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knock knock, Whos there ? ( runs away ) trololololololololol

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What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

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What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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Guy 1: That's what she said! HAHAHA!!! Guy 2: That's what who said? Guy 1: I don't know. :/

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Want to hear a dead baby joke? Abortion

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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