Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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why did the window washer lose his job. because he fell off and died.

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Why the monkey fall out the tree? Cause he was dead!

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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Why did the black person got to Wal-mart? Wal-mart has relatively low prices

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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Freedom of Speech

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch... The bartender calls the police as the man is arrested as piracy an act of robbery or criminal violence.

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Why weren't there any black people at the book sale? Black people don't read.

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What do you get when you cross a third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil? A third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil on it.

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

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Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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A blonde and a brunette nearly fell off a cliff and were hanging on for dear life. The brunette found the strength to climb back onto the ledge. The blonde was impressed and had muscular dystrophy so she lost the strength to hold on any longer and fell to her death.

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Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

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What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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INSULT- You've got a photographic memory, but the lens cap is on. INSULT- Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic INSULT- I heard you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. From- Insults and Putdowns lite

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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