Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

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Why was the girl sad? Because she was, you idiot!

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how does wasabi stay open during summer because tiffany is a nice person

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What do you call a duck In Africa ? Screwed

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So a jew walks into a bar!

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Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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Q- why are anti-jokes funny? A- cuz

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Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

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What did the cover say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

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Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

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Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

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What was so funny about my sister getting raped? Nothing, there's never anything funny about someone getting raped, especially when it is a close friend or family member

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Hummer.

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

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why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

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What did the Nazi put into the oven? Bread.

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Your momma is so stupid your momma forgot that jesus did exist and has been proven by historians to have existed

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops