An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

True or fales? Eddie Izzard.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mother

thumb_up thumb_down +26

U know what they say about big shoes? Big socks

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When is a tree not a tree? When it's a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

NEVER

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the little boy fall over? he was hit in the face by a salmon.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the boy with no hands get for christmas Gloves!!! just kidding i dont know he hasnt opened the box yet

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

thumb_up thumb_down +18

i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the Jewish business man cross the road? A: to go to his reasonable paying job at a business.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A black kid, a white kid, an Asian, and a Dane all take acid in a room. They have a profound experience and find a greater meaning in life.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the man die? because he hit his head and drowned

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops