Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

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Knock Knock Who's there? St. Judes St.Judes who ? St.Judes Research Hospital calling. Give me money, I've got cancer kids dying

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

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Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

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An alien just ate your family and all of the things you love

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What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

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Why wouldn't the baby boy stop crying when the babysitter was in the room? Because he put cigarettes out on him.

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What do a purple grape and an elephant have in common? They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why did the black man have lots of money. He studied hard at school and got into a good university. He dedicated 5 years of his life working relentlessly and getting his diploma in medicine then went on to work in a private hospital as head doctor and neuro surgeon. He was very successful in his specific field of medicine. That didn't work out so after quitting his job and realizing he had wasted over 7 years of his life achieving nothing but lose of interest in his career. He then bought a lottery ticket and won 8 million dollars.

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What's spotty, can be found everywhere and is largely unpopular? Nothing.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer, then you will die.

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What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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What's the difference between a black man with a pie and an asian with an apple. They're of different ethnicitiesand cultures, and are holding different foods.

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What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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What is hitlers favorite planet: jewpiter

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Knock Knock! FUUCKKKK OFFFFFFFF

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Your momma's so fat that when she looked in the mirror she broke down crying and threw up in the toilet because she is belemic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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