How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? (written in 1600 BCE - Westcar Papyrus) -You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish

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What do you call a burger made from children with Aspbergers? Cannibalism

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How do you get an asian out of a rice field? Napalm.

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yo mama is so fat, she should seriously consider gastric bypass surgery, morbid obesity is extremely detrimental to one's health

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Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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Q: what's better than ice cream A: not having aids

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Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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Theres a monkey that walks into a bar. I forget the rest of the joke but your moms a w****

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Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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I had a grammar lesson yesterday. I learned how to speak more good.

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How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

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what do you call a black man drinking cool-aid? thirsty.

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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A mermaid walks into a bar, but she has no legs, so she flops over and proceeds to drag herself into the bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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