- Knock Knock - Who is it ? - I'm a Jehovah witness - Sorry, I don't know anyone by the name of "a Jehovah witness". Bye.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attached to a bomb filled with spoons

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What do a cow girl and an orange have in common? They all are fruit, except for the cowgirl.

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A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

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Why was the fat kid the last one to lunch? He'd had lead bricks stapled to his ankles by the skinny kids.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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why did the african american man get shot? he partook in a gang life

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what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

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How do you differentiate a Canadian from an American ? The American will have an American Passport,while the Canadian will have a Canadian passport.

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children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

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How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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Q:Why did the retarded student get called down to the office? A:Because both his parents died in a car accident.

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Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? a carrot

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Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

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OMG my mom just let me go to a concert in feb 31,2012 wohoo! LOL

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

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phil - "honey, why is the picture quality so bad" Phil was watching a toaster

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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