How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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A young baby died.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican, a black guy and an octopus? I don't know but I don't like it.

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if it takes skill to trip over a flat surface, i have no skill...

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How many electricians does it take to fix a light bulb? One

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Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

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Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

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What did the snow flake which could talk say to the other snow flake which could talk None of us are the same.

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of Elephants coming over the hill? Oh look, a herd of Elephants coming over the hill.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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A dolphin walks into a bar. Dolphins do not have legs therefore this is physically impossible.

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How many black babies fit in a garbage can? It depends on the capacity of the garbage can.

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What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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