*insert corny "a man walks into a bar" joke here*

thumb_up thumb_down -36

If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whatsthe difference between a pile of dead babies and a chicken? Chickens don't make me laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Nice legs....What time do they open?

thumb_up thumb_down -117

Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

thumb_up thumb_down -10

girl: why do you love me? boy: i don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: How did the black man cross the Atlantic? A: He flew with an airliner, a large fixed-wing aircraft for transporting passengers and cargo.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? In a desperate, but unsuccessful attempt to save his mothers life, as a serial killer pulled her into his van

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a bunch of mexicans jumping out of a truck a family with not alot of money to afford a car so they are forced to ride a truck that can barely fit them all

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

So, as everyone knows, two different species (flavors) of cheerios cannot mate, right (common knowledge)? That is, if one is honey-nut and another is blueberry, they cannot mate. Anyway, there is this one normal cheerio that is in love with a blueberry cheerio. Unfortunately, he cannot mate with her. He can't even communicate with her because they are of different species. So, he invents a machine that changes all of his CNA (Cheerio DNA) into whichever type of cheerio that he wants. However, this machine performs a process that is extraordinarily painful, because that sort of thing would hurt. Anyway. He does it, and the normal flavored cheerio becomes a blueberry cheerio. Unfortunately, this girl cheerio hates him so much that she invents an identical machine and does the process on herself in order to become a cinnamon-apple cheerio, just so she can avoid this creeper. So, she does it. The boy cheerio is starting to get upset at this because he really wants her. So he tells himself that he will go through the pain for her, and becomes a cinnamon-apple cheerio. She then changes to a honey-nut cheerio! He decides that this is the last time that he will change cheerio type. He does it, and she changes one more time, into a normal cheerio - the kind he originally was. So he says out loud, "Okay, this is really the last time. If she changes again, I will just stay back with my family." So he becomes a normal cheerio again, and she doesn't change fast enough for him to put his moves on her. So, they start dating, and he finally asks her to the Formal Bowl (ahaha, get it, bowl instead of ball). Anyway, they get there and dance intensely for a few hours. They do all different kinds of dances. They do the tango, which was not very good. Also, they square dance, like rednecks. Finally, they get tired and she sends the boy cheerio to the milk bowl (you know, since it's a cereal dance, they have that and punch). He gets there and stands in line for ten minutes. Finally fed up at the really long line, he looks over at the bowl of punch and realizes there is no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

violets are blue, my name is Dave. this poem makes no sense. microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's pink and wrinkley and hangs out your pj's? Ya nanna :)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Your mom is so stupid that she didn't get into college due to her low act score of 16. She feels the need to improve so she asked me to tutor her.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the creator of Anti-Joke.com make the website? Because he probably wanted to promote his book and make more money.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops