Why did the blind man walk into a shop He didin't walked into a wall

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The man from Poland was so dumb he was eligible to live in a supervised group home.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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What doesn't kill you and doesn't make you stronger? Aids

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Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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Why did the boy fall of of his bicycle? He was hit by an asteroid.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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Knock knock, Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana Smith, I'm here for the Smith Family Reunion.

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What does a man say to his annoying friend? Please stop annoying me now.

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What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

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25

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Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a serial rapist with a violent temper.

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Q. What's louder than one dinosaur? A. A whole bunch of dinosaurs.

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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