Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

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Why did the chair fall off the cliff? Well it is an inamitate object so it did not move itself, someone must have threw it

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Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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alert("The Game");//

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What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

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whats worse than having your sextape leaked to the media? not being a kardashian when it happens.

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Your mom is so fat, that your gonna get a brother soon.

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What's flatter than a pancake? The baby I just ran over.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

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There once was a girl named sally with no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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You know what really pisses me off? When I drink too much coffee.

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Ya know why I hate bad puns? Because they aren't punny. In other words they have no real plot and don't make people laugh. They actually tend to get quite annoying.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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Any idea of his whereabouts Nero? I am the leader, I fund this myself, as you know money is not my problem, its rather loyalty.

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What happened to the soccer player when he got kicked in the leg..... He cried on the ground for hours even though there is padding there

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? Fly halfway across the world when the environment turns hostile.

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How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops