What did jonah say to your mum ... Nothing jonah is your mum

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What does it mean if your born on opposite day? you have sids

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why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

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why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

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There are two muffins in the oven. The first says to the other, "Its getting hot in here." The second, befuddled, replies, "AHH! A talking muffin!"

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A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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sky's sty

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A bear and a rabbit are walking i n the woods until they spot a magic genie. The bear mauls the rabbit because it is the rabbit's natural predator and is indifferent to the genie because it has no prior education on persian mythology.

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Roses are Red, Violets are not blue they are violet, nothing rhymes with this, I give up

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What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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A child walked into the bar. He was promptly asked to leave because he was too young.

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"Whooaaa Momma." - Says Johnny Bravo

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Q: The president is driving down the road, when the wheels of his boat fall off. How many ping pong balls does it take to fill the Empire State Building? A: False. Vests don't have sleeves.

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

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Why didn't the woman go to the kitchen? She was kidnapped and forced into sex-slavery

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Black people being friendly.

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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