where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

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How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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why was it funny that the boy got a razor for christmas because he had leukemia

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

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what do you call a baby in a blender? A really funny event.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

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What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

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Knock, Knock whos there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? HIV

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Adam Chebali is awesome

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How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

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why cant stevie wonder read? because hes black

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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