what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the man say to the other man? Nothing, they didn't know each other..

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A kid walks into a bar. The bartender promptly calls child protective services and the child is placed in a caring foster home.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

chuck norris is a little b|tch

thumb_up thumb_down -1

-Doctor! Scientists in California have enough proofs to demonstrate that the Christian religion is false. -Oh my God!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Wright flyer

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

If pinocchio said "my nose is going to grow", what would happen?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

why did the man lose his testicle? he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +10

-Knock Knock - no one respond , they were brutally murdered by a drug addict.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops