Why are there clocks on stoves? Because it is a convenient way to tell the time.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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What's the difference between a pile of bricks and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of bricks in my basement.

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*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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A plane crashed in the border of mexico and USA. Where do you bury the survivors? tell me in the thing bellow

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

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Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Yes, it's for the patiënt in the other room.

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what happened to the boy who crossed the street. he got shot by a bus

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What worse than stubbing your toe? Getting raped by a panda.

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? - Because it died.

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Democracy.

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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What did the flag say to the pole? It dosnt

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Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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