How do you kill a blonde ? Shoot her in the head

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Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

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A man walks into a bar.....OW!

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How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

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A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

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Q: Why is Alzheimer not funny? A: To get to the other side.

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It's kind of hard to die when you're in a freezer.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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why did the old man lose his hair Because he had cancer and needed kimmo therapy

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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Why did the man with no legs go into the shoe store?

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A black man and a mexican jump of a building to see who hits the ground first. Who wins? Society.

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whats big fat and very annoying your little brother

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock Knock Dude there is no door

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What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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Poker face

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The Joke Below

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What do you call a guitar with only one string? A guitar.

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A black guy and a white guy are in a car. What is going to happen? They will arrive at their destination.

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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If no means yes and yes means no, what is yes? Yes

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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