if life gives you lemons...chuck them back and say i wanted muffins instead!!!!

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Pianos.

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because they're not free.

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How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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hi

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Why did the black kid fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome

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Tom: Did you here about the blond who went to college? Mike: No. Tom: Well I heard she's leading a very successful life.

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My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

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Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

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knock knock. who's there yourdrive yourdrive who yourdriving me up the wall

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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What does 1 black person on the moon mean? A problem. What do 2 black people on the moon mean? A problem. What does every black person on the world on the moon mean? It's still a problem.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

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I see says the blind man " no you don't" replied the deaf man... In the other room

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

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What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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