one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

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How do you stop a black kid from hanging around in your back yard? Hang him in the front yard.

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what is a present you would give a werewolves? I said... OBAMA!!! tee hee

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What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

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Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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in soviet russia, cow milks you

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A white player in the NBA. Wait...

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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Why did the tree stay home from school? Because, trees don't have school.

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What's heavy, black, and when hanging by a rope from a tree, makes white people happy? A tire, in any white football player's backyard.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was osama bin laden

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What's big, red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

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How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

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What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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if i could change the alphabet, i wouldn't its perfectly fine the way it is.

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Whats black and white and read all over? A dead magpie.

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Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Johnny could pass Mike the sauce as he has no arms and Mike kept on asking as he has short onset alzheimer's.

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Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

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wetly sucks dick just like teh boowb

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Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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