How much wood would a woodchuck chu... Forget this, this is overused.

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A guy walks into the bar and orders a coke with some ice and some peanuts. It cost a total of $4.00 plus tax. He gave the bartender $5.00 and told him to keep the change. He drank the soda pop and burped loudly and left the bar and forgot his peanuts.

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if life thows you lemons ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

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No.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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A man walks into a bar. He breaks his neck and his insurance provider hikes up his interest rate.

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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Blonde hair is the result of having two recessive alleles for hair color in your genotype. There is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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theres a black guy and a mexican whos driving the cop

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Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

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what starts with b and ends with itch pickle

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

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Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

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What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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