a man walks into a bar....... thats it.

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? neither has he.

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Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? She was paralyzed.

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I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

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What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

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roses are red violets are blue im colorblind how about you

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Why did the hot blonde strip down? So she can take a shower

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I forgot my joke about gamblers, but i bet you would have loved it!

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's blind? No, because he's dead

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Roses are red, foxes are clever, I like your butt, let me touch it forever!

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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What do you call a black man jumping off a bridge? Suicide.

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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What's for dinner? Flesh from when your brother was alive and your blood.

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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Two Naked men jump off a cliff. Three months later, an entire pack of Cub Scouts were enrolled in group therapy. It's ongoing.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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