Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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What happened to the fat japanese guy? His house was destroyed by the earthquake.

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What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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Why did the boy stop playing nintendo 64? He choked on a red M and M and struggled for air until he fell lifelessly on the floor, landing on his pet mole, furthermore, dying and killing the animal as well. It was loose loose situation.

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Man comes home and sees another dying man lying in the center of his house. He yells at the man, "HEY I DONT KNOW YOU" The man on the floor replies, "That's funny, my family used to say the same thing"

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whats worse than 2 people dying? 3 people dying.

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A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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We just got a letter We just got a letter We just got a letter I wonder who it's from Oh look, it's a letter from our friends If there is a place you got to go I am the one you need to know I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! If there is a place you got to get I can get you there I bet I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!

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What did the black man say to the watermelon? Watermelon.

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

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Q: what did the black man say after the white man said knock knock A: who's there

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Your mom is such a slut she had sex with your dad on the very first night of their marriage!

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Who's this Jesus, have you heard of him?

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

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Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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