What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? Dyphis, say goodbye to your kids.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is a chicken and is not intelligent enough to know that he is about to be hit by a bus while hopelessly searching for food under an elderly man's nose.

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what do you get when you see jonny cry-a monkey lol

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Why did the man try to lick his elbow? Because he read a chain email saying no one could lick their elbow and he wanted to see if it was true. You will probably try to do it now too.

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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A guy is playing cod

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70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Daisies are yellow Why am I naming flower colours?

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What do you call a Mad Cow? Dead. Pst, Mr.Cobb if your reading this- Hola.

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Why can't Hank drive? Hank is a stone.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Anywhere from 2-8, depending on the size of the vehicle.

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

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What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

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A blonde walks into a bar. That's it.

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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What do you call a man who eats another man? An man eater.

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Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops