Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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The 13th Amendment...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Time to get a watch

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the food supply was scarce

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

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Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

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poop

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"Nice pair of crocs" said nobody

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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Canada

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What did George Washingtn say to is men before crossing the Delaware? Men, get in the boat.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q: What do you call a drunk man driving a Corvette with no arms, no legs and a missing eye? A: A severely impaired driver

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead

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why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops