So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

What's big fat and ugly? A monster

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had a seizure.

What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

why did the boy get hit by a bus because he had ice cream.

I have read and agree to terms of service.

What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

What was little Timmy's final words? I just want to go home.

Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

Q: How did the black man cross the Atlantic? A: He flew with an airliner, a large fixed-wing aircraft for transporting passengers and cargo.

How did the 8 year old child die? He was raped at the age of 7 and given the STD of AIDS. His clock then started as his family cried about his final days of his life.

I knocked on my neighbors door to complain about the horrible smell before remembering I killed him the week before, he has no family and no one will ever know.

why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME

a Black Swan walks into a bar......,,,.she then has hallucinations and imagines herself having lesbian sex with Mila Kunis...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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