Why can't Hellen Keller read, write, or do anything really? Because, shes a woman.

what draws the line between sex and rape? a pen

Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven beats his wife.

your a towel.

Click click ,scroll scroll. Bro you wasted your time. -Troll Lord

A black guy, a Jew, and a Mexican jump out of a plane. Who dies first? Well, judging by the fact that black people in general have a higher body mass, the black man most likely would smash into the ground first.

The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

I banged your mom so hard that she got a urinary tract infection.

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

why was little johns' stomach in discomfort? because his mom accidently gave him mercury for breakfast

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Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

Christians pornstars.

Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry

shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

How did Pablo get into America from Mexico? He drove here!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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