A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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I just flew in from Chicago and boy are my legs cramped

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HELLO EVERYONE

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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What's worse than killing 6,000,000 Jews? Killing 6,000,001.

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It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

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Your life

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, All you HATERS of Bieber, Go sick your mother.

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I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

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whats Mario's favorite kind of jeans? Denim, denim, denim.

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What is the square-root of pi? ?pi

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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