What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

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Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy Wuzzy died of cancer

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Q: What's worse than finding 1 worm in your apple? A: Finding 2 worms in your apple Q: What's worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? A: The Holocaust Q: What's worse than the Holocaust? A: Finding 3 worms in your apple!

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Why did the Arab bomb the US? Because it was his job.

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What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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how do you make a orange juice. get orange juice and pour it in a cup.

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

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why did the zack fall off his bike because his mum thew a frege at him

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Why couldn't the black guy enter the room? He was too large to fit through the doorway therefore he turned around and left

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What do you call a woman with a black eye and several cuts on her face? The police and perhaps a social help hotline. She now feels safer and more secure and will go on to lead a happy life thanks to you speaking out on her behalf.

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Why did the black guy hit his head while walking through a doorway? Because he was tall.

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Sometimes sentences just don't end the way that you think they potato

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What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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