What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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Knock knock. Who's there. Alex. Alex who? Your brother Alex. Oh, please come in.

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What happened to the man who jumped off a building? He got hit by a bus on the way down.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

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knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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Why couldn't the black guy enter the room? He was too large to fit through the doorway therefore he turned around and left

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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24!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

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Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Whats the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? The Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

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What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

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Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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