How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

Roses are red Violets are blue I am staraiL so dont touch me!!!!!

what did the joke say to the anti-joke? do you want to fight

what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

I have a joke. Okay, tell me. Just kidding

Women's rights.

what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

women outside of the kitchen

Whats green and has wheels? A green honda

What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

Sharks have teeth, I have teeth, Therefore i am a cat.

One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

Ay Bee Cee Dee Ey Ef Gee Haych Eye Jay Kay El Em En Ow Pee Queue Our Es Tee You Vee Doubleyou Ex Why Zed Now you know your ABC, come along and sing with me!

Why don't black people listen to country music Because every time they here hoe down the think there wife just got shot No sorry for anybody who's black I luv ya don't think twice I have thirty blk friends

Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

Knock Knock! Who's There? Not Steve Jobs.

Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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