Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

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Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

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What smells like pizza and likes to roll? Pizza rolls.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

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12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

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what do you say to someone acting like an idiot? hey, if you keep acting like an idiot im gunna hit you with a freakin bat , you stupid fubu!

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Why don't you run over a black guy on a bike? Because It's probably your bike..

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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What do you call a man in a wheel chair? Stephen Hawking

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What's red and smells like blood? Blood.

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A whole family go to a water park. They have a great day.

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What do you get when you cross Skyrim and Call of Duty? A video game that has similarities to Skyrim and Call of Duty.

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"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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What happened the homeless guy's home? A meteor fell on it.

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the nintendo 3ds is being released this week. its the first 3d portable gaming device that doesnt require glasses, also known as a ball...

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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Oh yeah? Well you're as gay as this joke!

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What happens when two Mexicans walk up to blonde and a red head sitting in car? The Mexicans attempt to smash the windshield with crowbars because they have issues with anger. The redhead turns on the car and reverses safely.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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