Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What player wears number 8 and plays for liverpool? Steven Gerrard

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why did the Jew have to go to a concentration camp? A: Because he was Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -24

your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a baby that fell in lava Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Penis. (Note: if you get this you have a dirty ass)

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Dislike this

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +4

this is not a joke. jks

thumb_up thumb_down -23

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Covietz has a large penis

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops