Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

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sorry son your nanas been put down

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Potato salad

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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Why did the bear eat the asian? It was hungry

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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An under aged man walks into a bar. the bar tender forgets to ask for his ID and gives him a beer. That man was later fired.

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Q: What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? A: Drowning.

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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If yesterday was friday, today is saturday, what day is it tomorrow? sunday

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What did the man at the haberdashery say? Six and seven-eighths, bub, six and seven-eighths.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swing set? No? Well neither did she.

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so 3 guys walk into a bar.....the 4th one ducks

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I'm not creative Roses are Blue

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What's long and black? A black hockey stick.

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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Who do u talk to when everyone is ignoring you? Nobody will talk to you so what's the point?

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djkldfnblfnbofgb

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Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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