you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

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What does a tree do all day? Boredom

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Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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hot diggity dog

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Two Atheists walk into a bar. A nearby Christian notices this fact and proceeds to slightly preach to both of the Atheists. They then kindly explain that they don't personally believe in God, but respect the Christian's opinion. They all order drinks, and become very close friends, engaging in a long, hateless conversation.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

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What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

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How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.

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What's got two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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why did jim die? he had cancer why did jim have no hair? it started to fall out when he was 20 and now he is bald at 30 years old

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If a chicken and a taco cross a highway how many cats does it take to milk a turkey? Cactus cause the dog had two black eyes

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What did the black man say to the asian? Hey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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