An Amish man walks into a bar. He then orders a non-alcoholic beverage due to the temperance practices of the Amish faith.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

thumb_up thumb_down

two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mum's so fat, she attends regular weight loss facilities to lose weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a larger individual having intense sex with a smaller individual? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Three construction workers are high up on a building when they decide to take their lunch break there. The three open their respective lunches, converse pleasantly, and enjoy the fine weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Women's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. All three are alcoholics and have done irreparable damage to their livers.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What is big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? Donald Trump

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What was black, then white, now dead all over? Michael Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

thumb_up thumb_down +33

how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What's the difference between Osama's death and Paris Hilton's bra? A: One is Osama's death and the other is Paris Hilton's bra.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding several worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuse 7 was a convicted serial killer. >----->

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what did the doctor say to the woman? I have 3 testicles

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops