What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

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Why are black people so good at basketball because they can jump shoot and steel

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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penis

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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Christianity is not a religion; it's a relationship with God.

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Everyone is special in there own ways except for patrick whos demented

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Why doesn't Santa Claus change his socks on Christmas Eve? Because he isn't real.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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why is my brother white and i am brown? the milk man is very fast!

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A man walks into a bar The bar now has a hole in it.

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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newt gingrich

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I agree

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Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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What's worse than watching the Hunger Games? Playing the Hunger Games

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What do you call a praying mantis at your door step? a Jehovah Witness

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What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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