The Oakland Raiders

knock knock. whos there? the police. we have news about your daughter. She has been tortured and raped and you will never see her again for the man that took her has taken her out of our jurisdiction.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

Knock knock Who's there? What are you, blind?

People say that shit don't stink But shit does stink It stinks like shit!

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

Why did the man explode when he ate the cheeseburger? Because the man was actually a bomb.

Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

knock knock who's there no one

What's worse than finding a bone in your boneless chicken meal? Going home to find your entire family brutally murdered.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

A Jew,Spiderman and The Incredible Hulk all jump off the top of the Empire State Building,who hits the ground first? The Jew because the other two dont exist

What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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