Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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What is a homeless man for Halloween? A garbage bag

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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What do you call a gay Chinese math teacher? A gay Chinese math teacher.

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What do you get when you put a frog in a paper shredder? Harshly punished by the Animal Humane Society

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Cleavlin has a shmaaala dik

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

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Who thinks amy mc quire is really stuiped

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An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

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Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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So, this joke isn't funny.

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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Did you hear about the Blonde who fell off a cliff You Have? Oh Ok, Have a nice day

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Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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A black guy walked in to a gas station, walked up to the counter and payed for his items with his debit card.

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man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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