DAMMIT MY IPHONE IS IN REPAIR AND I CANT GET THE APP!!!!!!!

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How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What walks on it's hands My uncle

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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What's funnier than slapping a girl? Calling the cops on the person who slapped her.

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How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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what did Susie, the girl with no arms, say after she fell off the swing? nothing, she was killed on impact.

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Why didnt your daughter come home? The door was locked

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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Yo momma so fat she soon became aware of her physical state and developed an eating disorder which led to her tragic death.

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Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

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Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Im Black Im Black Who Open The Door Now Pancakes Granted

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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roses are red violets are blue last time I saw u were in a zoo don't worry ill be there to not in a cage but laughing at u

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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