Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

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why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Cause violence is against the law

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How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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Why did the fox cross the road? To chew on the chicken carcass.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Who lost World War II? The Jews.

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Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

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why does the man appear fat he is

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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what colour is a frog green you idiot

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A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

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If you place a dog next to a cow, they're not the same size

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

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How do you get your dog to stop peeing on the floor? SHOOT IT!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to get the antidote for his dying baby chick.

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Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding, he can't walk.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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A nigger looked up his family tree and a gorrila shit in his face

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Two carnivorous dinosaurs get into a fight. Carnage ensues and many baby dinosaur eggs are stomped on, and in the end they both die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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