A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

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Yo' Momma is so fat she weighs a lot!

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Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

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Your moms so old. She might die soon

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What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practise.

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What did one chimney say to the other chimney. Nothing, chimneys dont talk.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

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What's my name? I don't know i was asking u.

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What did the American man say to his brother right before his brother's wedding? You should not get married because most likely your marriage will end in a horrible divorice, which will ruin the rest of your pathetic life.

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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There are 2 kinds of people in this world... 1.Those who need closure.

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What did the transvestite hooker say when he/she saw a robot fighting a dinosaur? That's strange.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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