How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his wang!

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Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

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Who is John Galt?

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What's pink and wrinkley and hangs out your pj's? Ya nanna :)

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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If i was a painting... Id hang myself

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

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Why did the maths book commit suicide? It wanted to be history

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penis hehehehe

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So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

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If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

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can i have a cookie no diabeto!

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One day i woke up, and found my wife dead on the floor. lol.

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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So, a screw driver walks into a bar, and the bar tender sais "Hey Screw Driver" we have a drink named after you" the screw driver goes, "Really? You have a drink named Bob"

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Its a bird...its a plane....it IS a plane

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder of a 7 year old child.

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Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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What do you call a girl with 1 eye and 3 arms... Chernobyl.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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A man walks into a vagina

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops