What is the difference between a black man and a speed bump? A black man is a living thing and a speed bump is not.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

KILL WHITEY

thumb_up thumb_down -16

steven hawking walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

cats are pussies

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why couldn't the Asian man speak in chinese? He never learned chinese

thumb_up thumb_down -8

hi patrick

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar not a duck though

thumb_up thumb_down +9

the anti-joke.com joke was just like a normal joke. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

the NAACP

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops