Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense Microwave

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why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

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A dyslexic man's favourite clothing shop is Tampon.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did the polar bear die? Global warming.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. knock knock. who's there? the chicken.

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There's some good news and some bad news. The bad news is there isn't any good news.

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A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

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What do you call a man with no legs and no arms on your doorstep? Matt

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what has one ear, one leg, one eye, one arm, and is Jewish half a Jew

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i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

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How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? It depends on how big the room is and, to a lesser extent, how wide the strips of wallpaper are. Also factor in variables such as ambient humidity.

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Whats green? The color green.

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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stfu Aodhan u and kevin are doin all the instigsating

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Well I dont think that has happened to anyone ever so I guess nothings worse.

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Two babies wonder off from their home. They die of starvation because there parents could not find them in time.

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Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

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Roses are pink. Violets are pink. The brony just took a dump. Don't give me that shit!

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops