Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you, f*** you.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a cat? I take mu cleats off when I jump on a trampoline.

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Get Outta Here We're Closed!

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Q: What do the French call a quarter pounder with cheese? A: Le Royale with cheese

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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What's pink and when you press a button it turns red? A baby in a blender. What's pink and when you hit it against the wall sounds metallic? A baby with two forks stuck in its eyes.

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is a question. Yes is the answer.

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Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

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What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

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Knock knock. Racism.

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why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

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An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

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Why did the man smoke pot in the roller coaster? Because he was dyslexic and read the sign wrong and thought it read "You must be high to go on this ride."

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Neither has Stevie Wonder

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

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A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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