What do flowers and people have in common? They both die.

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Why did the bartender cry when a construction worker ordered a Jack and Coke? His son Jack had run away five years ago to sell cocaine; his father hadn't seen him since.

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Why did the boy have sex with his grandpa? His grandpa is a nice guy and it was his birthday.

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What's brown and sticky? My ass.

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Q:Whats worst then finding a worm in your apple? A:Getting raped in the ass.

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Scientology.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

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What looks like donuts but stinks of shit. Sean Big Macs socks

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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A dog walks into a bar. the bar tender asks" what'll you have?" the dog does not reply because dogs have not yet developed the type of voice box required to speak or the learning cappacity to be taught the English language.

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Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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What do you call a black man with a Ph.D? Doctor.

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Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

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So I'm at the office and I tell this guy, "Hey can you pass me the stapler. But when you pass it over, make sure there are staples in it 'cause if not, I can't staple anything."

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quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

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you pick up 10 students from a school, you buy a pish from the fet store, and then drive to new york whos driving the bus? a fat guy with a level 80 org in world of warcraft

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What is better than a car made of gold? Anything you consider to be better than a car made of gold.

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What did the woman say when she didn't finish her meal? Can I get a to go box

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Q.What do Santa Clause and a grape have in common? A.They both have beards. Except for the grape.

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*Guy and Jar of Chunky Peanut Butter* Guy; "Hey you're chunky" Peanut Butter; "I know"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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