What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. The female body inspectors? No, the female bawdy inspectors.

Why was timmy in the well? He had autism.

I never knew I was dyslexic. Then one day I showed up to a toga party dressed as a goat.

What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

Why did the arm-less Ben fall off the swing? Gravity

Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

How many batteries does it take to run a car 1 a car battery

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hold on. Let me think of an answer.

what did the black man say to the white girl? He respectfully asked her out on a date and theyve been happily dateing ever since.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Ask him to come down.

An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

There once was a man from Nantucket But then he moved to Boston and changes his name to "man from Boston"

A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

A horse walks into a bar. The impact fractures his skull immediately, knocking him unconscious. He then dies from the resulting brain damage.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid the avoid the nuclear bomb at hiroshima

What's purple and glows? An electric grape

How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

A: How much do you love me? B: Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. A: But, it's morning. B: Exactly.

Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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