How do you kill a retard? you shoot him in the head

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How was a blonde woman able to get into Harvard? She was smart and had a very good SAT score.

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Sophie Cameron is Gay

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A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

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What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

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Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

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Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

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Why should you be concerned if you see a black midget with no arms and no legs falling off a building? He might get hurt.

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What's more funny than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed like a clown.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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how do 2 gay guys walk... one pounces into the others butt

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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How do you know if your teacher is gay? Ask him if he is gay.

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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Whats Barack Obama's favorite number ? 7

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What's worse than forgetting a punchline?

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Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

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This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

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Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

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Roses are pink. Violets are pink. The brony just took a dump. Don't give me that shit!

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor I think I have HIV! Doctor: Wtf to that one...

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Q. Why did the man fall off his bike? A. He was hit by a canoe.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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