What comes after 69? mouthwash

Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?. I dont know either it was dark.

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

religion

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

A man walks into a bar, he is then escorted to the hospital as a result of brain trauma.

A: knock knock B: the door is open, why don't you come right in?

Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

Grapefruit.

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

Stop with the 9/11 jokes guys. They're just plane stupid.

A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

Why was the boy sad The boy wanted a puppy for his Birthday So his parents got him a Toy dog Later that year he was found dead with the Toy Dog shoved down his mouth gagging him.

Guy A: Why is 6 scared of 7? Guy B: Because 7, 8, 9? Guy A: No, numbers don't have feelings Guy C: That's so dumb Guy A: Hey you know what, this is an A and B conversation so... Guy C: So C your way out? Guy D: Yeah, before D and E come and F U up! Guy E: Are you guys high or something? Guy F: Dude, I'm a girl, F stand for female (Author): Oops sorry Girl F: Thanks Guy G: Mind Blown O_O

Yo momma is so fat, that when I went over to your house and accidentally stepped on a skateboard, yo momma came out and said "get the %$^# off the skateboard!"

How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

Religion.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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