tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

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yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

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What is worse than breaking your pencil? Flying on a magic carpet

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I drive in driveways. I recite in recitals. I play in plays. I park on parkways. My greenhouse is green. And my boxing ring is round. Why does everyone think I'm weird??

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Why was the Mexican in pain? Someone hit him with a frying pan 5 times across the face.

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Why weren't there any black people at the book sale? Black people don't read.

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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what rhymes with sloth? rape

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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What is black and hanging from the tree in my back yard? A tire Swing.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her statement.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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Why did the blind kid hit the other kid in the face? He was trying to give him a high-five.

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Why the he'll are there moths in the universe? It makes no sense. Where dies an annoying ass buzzing and flying price if isht ever help me?

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How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? Can you speak up? I cant hear you!

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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How do you make an anti-joke offensive? Add racism to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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