What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

why did billy fall on the sidewalk? he got stabbed

How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

what do you call a homeless man? poor.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

What did OJ Simpson say to the blonde? "Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you"

when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

I wonder if God looks at the Earth all these years later and thinks, Man, I really went overboard with the water, didn't I?

Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered six affender.

I scream, you scream, we all scream because we're getting murdered.

A horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse then replied, "Well my wife is dying of cancer, my mother is a drug addict, and my two kids are in the hospital for 3rd degree burns."

Why was the gay kid beaten to death Because he was also an outstanding racist and lived in a highly populated african american community.

What does a black kid get from Christmas? a blunt

What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

Your mamas so stupid, her IQ is lower than the average person of her age group.

Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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