you had me at "hello", no need to add "you're under arrest"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What did the duck say to the bartender? A: Nothing considering that ducks cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down -12

your face

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your a Jew, I don't like you.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Oh look, a dead guy. He must have died

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Jew walks into a bar screaming cause he just broke his face

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

thumb_up thumb_down -35

French people

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Can't Sing, Or Ryhme

thumb_up thumb_down +1

oooh look a banshee

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call black people in a pool? African american swimmers

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops