How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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Two muffins are in an oven one of them says "wow it's hot in here" The other muffin says "Ah a talking muffin"

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Guy: do u wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah its to long Girl: Do u wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Actually that would make me very self concious I have ghonorrea and would appreciate not having to tell one.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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Q: What is the leading cause of pedophilia? A: Sexy children.

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69

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A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

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What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She was dead.

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How do you kill a dead baby? You can't, it's already dead.

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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Where di mary go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you BUT The roses are wilting The violets are dead The sugar bowl's empty And so is your head

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why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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Two black guys walk into a bar. One of them was white.

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Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

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If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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