Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you hear about the big Polish tragedy? There was a power outage in Poland's busiest shopping mall, People were stuck on the escalators for 4 hours. A woman gave birth in the elevator and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock. who's there? well, its not suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Nero, please pick up the phone, I wont ever do that, it was a mistake okay? Stop that, my sister wont ever! My mom whatever! But if you lie a finger on my sister, I will kill you, I am at the outside, which room are you at? Tell me you coward fucker! Tell me!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Babies cry Get in my bed Or you will dies

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

oh whatever donald trump's not going to be president. stop pretending he is

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So one time there was this woman learning...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

thumb_up thumb_down

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the fat lady hop on one foot,because she lost the other foot to diabetes. ?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q;How many screams does it take to ruin a good riddle? A: OOOOOONNNNEEEEEEEEEEE! Moral: This potentially awesome riddle may or may not have been aborted by a scream.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What did the guy with glasses say to the guy without glasses? A: Dude your not wearing glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops