Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Nah Nero, nothing wrong here, I mean I am down to earth, you made me realize that, and sincerely you are my best friend, I mean I hang out with geeks all day, and yeah I might be a bit nerdy or even geeky myself, but not like this, I want to be more like you, spend time with you, not playing dungeon and dragons telling myself I am some warrior princess... I thought playing that crap was gonna get funnier but thats not true the least. What I am trying to say is that I look up to you, what you achieved, and still do, while if you look at me, I am literally several grades below you, so yeah, you are looking down at me. And yeah, I might be falling in love with you to be honest, but I know you have a wife and I am the jealous insecure kind, so I would not want to share you with anyone in fear of losing you if you where my husband, but I dont love you for what I want you to be, I love you for who you are. And yeah I know it must be awkward hearing me type my heart out here, but if you want to know me for who I truly am, as sincere as you are, you deserve it. And no, you are not blunt, you are what people would call "honest to a fault", and I adore that side of you, I mean if I want to hear what people think they want me to hear, I ask anyone else, but you, you are different, you are honest to death, and that makes me feel safe and trust you when you say things, I mean you are a free spirit, if you thought I was ugly you would have told me, and that would have been okay, if it where you actually. So I am sorry if I sound weird or desperate or something, its just whats inside of me right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn't the pharmacist set up his business in the jungle? Because setting up a pharmacy in the jungle is not a viable business option.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a medical student who finishes last in his class? Doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -33

how does a black woman find out if she is pregnant? she takes a pregnancy test

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

thumb_up thumb_down +27

An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Happy Birthday!! Have some meth cupcakes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock who's there funny funny who a funny joke

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a blond readhead and a brunnett were driving to Miami, they saw a sign for next exit Miami, turned off the exit went to the beach did some shopping and all had a great time together.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Steve Jobs didn't die. He went to go set up iCLOUD.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what's funnier then 33? actually there's a plenty of things, just have to think about it

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Smelly Indians.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's big,long,and mostly men use it? A submarine

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How did the black man manage to get that 42 inch TV? He had been working a lot of overtime at work to try and treat his wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops