How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A guy has spikey things in his butt, what happened?............... He fell on a cactus.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the cookie monster eat? Food

thumb_up thumb_down +20

GEOVANI is a queer that dosen't believe me

thumb_up thumb_down +11

did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I had a quad when I was in high school, she was pretty but it was hard to get her out of the wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The

thumb_up thumb_down

You can tell I have many friends because I got them to like this.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I drive in driveways. I recite in recitals. I play in plays. I park on parkways. My greenhouse is green. And my boxing ring is round. Why does everyone think I'm weird??

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many black guys can fit in a minivan? Eight.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Columbus Day... A day to remember the anniversary of Columbus enslaving America.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What would you call the jetsons if they were black? Niggers

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A little boy who was sleeping in his parent's bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't. He said nothing, and the incident troubled him deeply for many years.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A man stepped on a nail. He died shortly after of lockjaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops