knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Nock Nock. Whose there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You're so fat, that a picture of you fell off the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why were Tamika and Tyron afraid to get into the water? They weren't

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the girl get for her birthday? Older.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day Your body rejected it and you went into cardiac arrest, we both died

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q:What happens when you mix Justin Bieber with a women? A: Well, since is a very highly impossible circumstance, I have no need to give a name for this.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your mom is so fat she should be concerned about her increased risk of heart failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

My Nan, that is all.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops