Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? Fly halfway across the world when the environment turns hostile.

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Yo momma is so fat, that she is not able to wear the clothes she wore the previous year.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete jumped out, who was left? Pete, the boat blew up and instantly killed repeat

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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What is worse than something terrible happening to you? That same thing happening to me of course... Duh...

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why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

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A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

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Yo momma is so fat that her cholesterol level is above 240 mg/dL and should highly consider a vegan diet if she wishes to improve.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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Q How do you make pie. A You cook it

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A black man walks into a bar, and asks the barman for a pint of lager. The barman refuses to serve him because of his race. This causes the black man and any others in the establishment to leave, considering this appalling behaviour.

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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if your paddling a backwards canoe up a waterfall and it loses its wheel, how many pancakes does it take to fill a dog house? the answer is 17 because aliens are allgeric to cows and mustard.

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What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped covered in semen.

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roses are red violets are blue I hear a bus...

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A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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What's the difference between a brick and Ricky? A brick gets laid and has a higher iq

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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