What is the biggest, most elaborate lie? Santa Clause

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What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

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hi

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What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

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Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

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What was so special about Anne Frank's diary? Nothing. ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

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Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

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Where did Wendy decide to work for her part time job? TACO BELL

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What's long, hard, and filled with semen? A submarine

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roses are brown violets are brown who shit on my garden?

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Why didnt the deer move out of the street when the guy yelled at it? Because deer are a very sensitive species you should try asking politely next time.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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There is no joke here, stop reading.

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a car drives off a cliff whos driving? an asin woman!

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Q: What did Steve say to his teacher on the first day of school? A: "My name is Steve."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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