What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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What is 8 times 4? 32

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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why was the spoiled girl running from her parents? because they weren't her parents, they were kidnappers and were going to sell her into underground sex trafficking markets where she would probably spend the rest of her life being a slave.

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Start by getting your fucking ass off this site and get me the fucking money asap yourself! And your contact information! Fuck your "eye for an eye" piece of shit example, I want redemption! If I am to live with self respect after losing a FUCKING EYEBALL! I demand that you lose EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR! YOU FUCKING QUEER HYPOCRITE! And I am not asking that you take away everything, I will take everything you hold dear away from you myself! Then again, why do that when I can get straight to the source and break your spine, and that is just the first step to making you wish you where dead! That you end up begging me for THE SWEET MERCY OF DEATH! Listen, if you want to talk, lets talk, if you claim to be so fucking powerful get on a goddamn jet and get over here yourself, no goons, no "shadows", no "followers" of "your order" when you present it, and "our order" when YOU FUCK UP! Only then will I "listen to reason", it is only reasonable you come out of your fucking hiding place and face me! I wont fight you, I wont kill you, but you better get your fucking face over here yourself.

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Yo mama so stupid she was trying to put her M&M's in alphabetical order

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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What's a bug's favorite sport? Bug's can't play sports.

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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What do you call a dog with 4 legs? A dog.

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Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

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Why was the girl stupid? She didn't pay attention in school because everyone was making fun of her blonde hair.

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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A cheeseburger and fries walk into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve lunch"

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What has 4 eyes and can't see. Blind siamese twins!

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Nice story but I wish it would have had a good point like... A moral? Moral: Need a light?

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There are two types of people in this world: Those who can finish lists. and

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid the avoid the nuclear bomb at hiroshima

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Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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