What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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why are you adopted? cause no one loved you.

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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A turkey and a ham walk into a room. The ham says to the turkey "You're a turkey." The turkey in response says, "Yeah, well you're a ham!" They both then get their heads chopped off, as the room they were in was a slaughterhouse.

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Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

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What is green and has weels? A green bycicle.

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, I do not stand for them.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

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what did the church group do at their picnic? drink the kool aid

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what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

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"Knock knock" Come in!

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What's worse than Hitler killing six million Jews? All of the Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctior

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Why did the bear eat the asian? It was hungry

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

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Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

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Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

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Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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