Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

Yeah? You like that? Its like art for some.

why did the frog cross the road it was stapled to a chicken

One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

An early jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody.

What did the disabled boy get on Christmas morning? Cancer.

Why don't women know how to drive a car? Because there are no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

A man rode into town on Friday and stayed a while and then left on Friday how did he manage this?

I have aids

Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

hi im paul!

Carrot fingers

What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

IMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM a beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee immmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmiiiiooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmoooooooooooodfssgihsfdiug

what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Wieners? A: Nothing. your last name is a male sex organ

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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