why did the cow die because she ate poisoned apple pie

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the fourth panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. -BG_Shank_A

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Why Stevie is silent nowdays? Because he's dead.

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Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

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Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

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my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

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How many black guys does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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Video Games

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why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. Why? A. To get to the other side. A. Knock, Knock. B. Who's there? A. The chicken.

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Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

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Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

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What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

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So did you hear what happened to the deaf guy? He didn't either

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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What do you call a group of white guys playing basketball in Philadelphia? Actually, that already seems like a pretty good summary of the situation.

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Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

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What did the first ant say to the second ant? Nothing. Ants are incapable of communicating via speech.

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What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

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What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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