"Really, how is your wife?" "You know she's dead right?" "Cool mine too!" They high five in mid air and lived happily ever after

A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

Roses are penis Violets are penis I like penis Penis

A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat off, and the barman chuckles.

Why did the young boy fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome.

Roses are cheap Violets are on sale It's Boxing Day Please buy my flowers I really need the cash.

What is the difference between and Jew and a Boy Scout? The Boy Scout comes back from camp.

What do you get when you cross a squirrel and lasagna? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

Gas prices are so high, I've had to resort to walking and riding my bike.

A Mormon walks into a bar

life is like a box of chocolates... it doesnt last long for fat peopl

Why is jim retarded? Because he fucks chickens

Life is an elephant, get married.

What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

the man was talking to a phone no answered cause he talking to a brick wall

Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

What is not a car park? Clash of clans

How can you upset Helen Keller? In Braille spell out that she can't see or hear the hunger games

what is the vent wound on the ladies that can never heal???

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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