A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

Why couldnt the boy poop? Because he was staring right in his eye.

This joke isnt funny.

Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

Two nineteenth century men walk into a bar. Their wives didn't complain, because if they did they'd get hit. hard.

If life throws you melons... ouch

Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

Once upon a time, there was a Y O U M A D and they all lived happily ever after.

dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

My pet rock died.

What ever happened to the bartender that asked, "Why the long face?" He was punched hard on the face for asking a stupid cliche!

Who did sally vote for in 1920 Nobody woman couldnt vote until 1928

pauls tuck

Q: What genre is the bible? A: Si-fi

Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Seeing your mom dance

What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

What's red and has a mask ? Blood, I lied about the mask.

A dyslexic pervert asks to see a woman's bar. Then he is chased to the bra next door.

A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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