you see theres this guy.

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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There once was the worlds most important people on an airplane. All of them. They were a Boy Scout with a hiking pack, World's Oldest person, World's Smartest person, a Scientist who had the cure to cancer, and the World's Richest man. The Pilot told them that the plane was running out of gas and they would have to bail. But there was a problem, two people were going to have to die. They were only two parachutes short. So the Scientist grabbed one and said, "I'm the only one with the cure to cancer I've got lives to save." And he bails. Then the World's oldest person jumps out with a parachute saying, "I Still Have A Life To Live!!!" Then the Richest person realizes there is two parachutes left. He says, "I have the most money so I have to go because I could save America from going bankrupt." Grabs a chute and jumps. Then, the world's smartest person just happens to be so selfish and bails with the last Parachute. So the Pilot and and the Boy Scout were left. The pilot was kind enough to let the Kid go because he still had he longest life to live. But the kid said no, we could both go. The pilot said no you go. The kid was still being stubborn. And said No, we could both go, The world's smartest person took my back pack, there is one chute left, we could share it. And so they both jumped and landed safely on the ground. And that was the end of the World's smartest man.

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What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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Yo sugars so salty when you put it on your french fries they taste like salty french fries

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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Not Steve Jobs

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Is maynaise an instrument?

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What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

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What's the difference between a black man and a bunk bed? A bunk bed is stable and can support two children.

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Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

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Why was the elderly, Asian, blond pulled over by the officer? She was, and has been completely blind since birth.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: A sad, unfortunate dog.

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"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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four score and seven years ago. . sharks with frickn laser beams attached to their FRICKeN HEADs.

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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What do you call something thats mostly made of wood, big, round and stupid A retarded version of the Knights of the round table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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