Limerick There once was a man from mass whos balls were made out of brass he clank them together to make stormy weather and lightning came out of his ass

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? everything! dead monkeys are awesome

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What is brown and sticky? Poop

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A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

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Roses are red Violets are blue we're going to have sex because i'm stronger than you

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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Whats green and smells like bacon................. Green bacon

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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A man walks into a bar. He hit his head so hard that he went into a coma.

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What is purple and green at the same time? Grapes, I lied about at the same time.

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How do you get money out of a Jew? You convince him your cause is worthwhile.

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A jew walks into an Oven....

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your carmel apple, which costs about 35 cents more on average.

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Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

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What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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Penis

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Jews

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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