Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side . Unfortunately , there was a car accident and shrapnel from the explosion [caused by gas on fire] cut his head off causing the old woman to faint , and later die a horrible death .

Take this and put it- No.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

;iub

A bar walks into a man

What do you call a pencil that's been broken in half? 2 pencils

Your momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she orders salad.

What happens when a baby stops crying? it dies.

What did the daddy hamster say to the baby hamster? Nothing. Male hamsters eat their young.

Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

Why did the black homosexual blind man want to go to the comedy club? He enjoys a good laugh

What is 5 brittish guys who can't sing and horrible music make .... one direction

Q: What did one raccoon say to the other? A: We do not know, as raccoons do not speak any human language. And no human being can understand or communicate with one.

Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

who has less of a soul then you? a ginger

What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, as speaking to himself is a sign of mental illness.

how do you get a taco? Buy one!

Enough with the "whats worse than ... "jokes! They are getting old and have a millon different possible answers. I am aware that this is not a joke but thumbs up if you aggree with.

Knock Knock Who's there? A mormon *slam*

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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