Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q. Why do televisions come with clickers A. So you don't have to get up to change the channel

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the girl say to her tits? I wanna suck u.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

thumb_up thumb_down +3

ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Wife says to husband, who works is programmer, "Honey get out of bed there is a bug in the bed". Husband says "ok."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red, violets are blue my name is clearance, and i have to poo

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why do mexicans get made fun of

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the woman crying I kick her in the ass really really really hard... With steal toe boots... That had a spike on them... That was biped in poison... And man did she scream.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how do you make a joke act like yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make a suicide jumper not jump? Shoot him instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What happened to the disabled man who went to Disneyland? He had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mama's teeth are so yellow... She should think about scheduling an appointment at a local dentist's office.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what's grosser then 1000 babies stapled to a tree?? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees

thumb_up thumb_down +24

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock whos there open open who the door

thumb_up thumb_down -7

2 gays monkeys walk into a bar.........

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man comes into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man comes into a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +725

jokes r dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops