Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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How do you know when a ghost is lying? I don't know because I've never met one, so from personal experience I couldn't tell you.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

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what did the therapist say to the other therapist? WE'VE SAID THIS WAY TOO MANY TIMES YOU SHIT

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Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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No.

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Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

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So I was blow drying my penis and my girlfriend asked what I was doing. Apparently, "heating up your dinner." wasn't the right response.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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Lucas talks to mom she says hi

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

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Why did the cow jump over the moon ? This is a highly unlikely situation , therefore the cow did not leave its humble pasture , let alone talk english while in the midst of jumping over a planet wich takes days to fly over .

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how do you make a little boy cry? Kill his parents in front of him .

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why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

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Q:What did the scissors say to the paper? A: Nothing, cause thier scissors and paper they don't talk..

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Why is it so bad that the bus fell off the cliff? All my friends were on it.

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Papa Smurf: Why did the chicken cross the road? Grouchy Smurf: I hate chickens!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

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What's long and hard, and has cum in it? A cucumber

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yo mamma's so stupid, she is not that smart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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