What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why mommy upset cause wet and sticky make mommy upset

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

thumb_up thumb_down -13

knock. knock. whos there? BOWLING SHOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the turtle blue? He wasn't you are color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why do mexicans like tacos? Because tacos are a very well liked food and they happen to taste good

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a baby with no future? A baby dying at birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the black guy jump over the fence ? The holocost.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Ask me if I'mm a candy cane. Shutup, there are a lot of these types of jokes. Create your own you poophead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your family have been involved in a fatal accident and we need you to come and identify the bodies.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. Who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down -25

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops