What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What does a bug do in a telephone booth? Eats yogurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why do people make antijokes? Because they can

thumb_up thumb_down -12

you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how long does it take for a black woman to poop? women dont poop, especially not halle berry

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's pink and fluffy? A feather duster.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the black kid pass the exam? Because he studied.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is the best place to get watermelons and fried chicken? A Watermelon grove and a popeyes and/or KFC

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how many dirty stinkin apes does it take to put in a lightbulb? 3 dirty stinkin apes, 1 dirty stinkin ape to put in the lightbulb and 2 dirty stinkin apes to throw feces at each other

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A black man walks into a bar. It turns out he is a notorious serial killer and he procedes to violently murder everyone in the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops