What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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People with the best sense of humor visit anti-joke.com.

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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jacob mckeand sucks his own dick, lol jokes, he has jamie for that

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

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Q: How do u make a butcher cry A: Kill its family

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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A man is training his dog. He tells the dog to sit. The dog sits. "Good boy!" said the man. The dog did not thank the man for the compliment because dogs cannot speak.

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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The Big Band Theory

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A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

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Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

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Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

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A blond and a brunette fall off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Neither. They hit the ground at the exact same time due to the laws of physics

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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