What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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What is worse than getting a virus on your computer? Having your mother die of malaria

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Q: What's soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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Q: How do you make a black man nervous? A: Threaten to kill his family.

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What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

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Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

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What did the black do when a man robbed his house? He called 911

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whats black and doesnt like politics? a black chair

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Wait a moment, I will see what I can do.

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Never mail in your wishes to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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-What's the worst part about killing a baby? -Probably either recieving the death sentence or living psychologically scarred in prison for life.

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? I threw a ball at her.

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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What hurts more than a bullet? A bullet penetrating your skin, muscle and embedding itself in your body

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A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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