Why doesn't Santa deliver gifts anymore? Because Santa died of a heart attack.

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

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Three girls are eating icecream one girl sucks on her icecream the second girl licks on her icecream and the third girl bites on her icecream. Q: Which of the three girls is married? A: The girl with the wedding ring.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your brother My brother who? The dead guy over there.

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how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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yo moma is so poor she cant afford free samples

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why did the kid let go of his kite? He got struck by lightning

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Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

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What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

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Wanna here a joke? To bad you can't your black.

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A duck walked up to the lemonade stand And he said to the man running the stand: QUACK!

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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If life hands you lemons Take them

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Why did the Asian man have squinty eyes? He was looking at the sun.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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Why do black people have the whitest teeth? Because they brush regularly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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