Q: Why do people post the same anti-joke a bajillion times in a row? A: Because they are stupid ass holes with absolutely no life.

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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how can u tell if you have cancer if the doctor says so

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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Q. What did the father say to his son? A. Nothing, he just hit him with his belt. His wife tried to intervene, but she too was hit by said belt.

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? ..He died.

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There's a black guy in a house. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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how did helen keller break her arm? reading at 100 miles per hour

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

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What is purple and green at the same time? Grapes, I lied about at the same time.

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Why did the baby bird have no friends? Because he chose not to socialize with the baby birds.

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What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

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I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

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why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

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What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

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What do you call a black girl scout? A brownie

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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