A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

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It's kind of hard to die when you're in a freezer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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Why did the blonde girl lie? Because she's a liar.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? Mentally confused.

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kennah campion... being nice

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What did the boy get from Penn State University? A College Degree

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Are you a homophobe? No, I'm cake. ,.

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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You know how to torture Hellen Keller? -No. Put a plunger in the toilet.

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Why can't vampires go out in the sun? Becuase they don't exist.

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A blind man walks into a bar... And a table. And a chair.

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Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

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Your mother's so fat that affects her self esteem.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

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Why is the sky blue? Because bicycles have two tires

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to go well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that when his wife was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas, despite that the tank was full and she only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrendous car accident that caused the fuel to empty and catch fire. Mary survived but their 6 month old baby was killed.

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how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

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What is black and bad for your teeth? A cannon ball

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A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

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What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

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Yo Mama is so ugly she wears a mask on halloween

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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