What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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whos a sick fuck? jake morris

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An Irishman walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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roses are red violets are blue i am black and so r u

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Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

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Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? like most animals that wander onto the road, it was completely unaware that the road can be very dangerous. It didn't go onto the road on purpose, it simply treated the road as if it was just like the rest of the ground.

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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Does pizza sound good for dinner?

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Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

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What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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Q: How Do You Stop a Bus? A: Pull the Brakes so it comes to a absolute stop.

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How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

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Q: What did one candle say to the other? A: Nothing, the mere thought of candles being able to possess the ability of speech is preposterous beyond any of the highest capabilities known to man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -because chickens have a free ability to walk and this chicken felt the urge to walk across the road. Why not?

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What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

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you first

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Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

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What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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