What happens when a black man is swinging in a tree? He is enjoying the swing set I helped his father put up.

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I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? You hit it with an axe.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

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What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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Good afternoon.

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What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

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what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

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Knock Knock Who's there? You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy. You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy, who?

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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What body part do you shave other than your balls? My fridge.

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Whats worse than not having cellphone service? Having sex unwillingly with a stranger then getting pregnant at the age of 13.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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Why so serious? Your brother died.

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what do you call ten white people on a bench ten white people sitting on a bench, possibly eating their lunch

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Q: Why's everyone afraid of Friday the 13th? A: Justin Bieber's movie comes out.

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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what do the Holocaust and Jeff Dunham have in common? they're both hilarious

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whats funnier than 24? 25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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