what happened to the boy who crossed the street. he got shot by a bus

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What worse than stubbing your toe? Getting raped by a panda.

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? - Because it died.

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Democracy.

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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What did the flag say to the pole? It dosnt

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Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Neither has he.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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If you have read this its to late. You have already read this. Im am very sorry.

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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what did the dead cat say to the dead dog? Nothing, they're dead

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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how do you kill a blonde? hit her in the back repeatedly with a crowbar

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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