Hey how is your wife and my kids

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Q: What's white, black, and red all over? A: The yellow brick road

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There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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JAMIE STEGMAN IS A MASSSIVE DERP Jess Pots. YOUR A NOOB

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A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar and the barman asks "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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Q. What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A. A gay bar

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

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That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

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y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

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Whats Black and blue My wife after i beat her ass.

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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I used to be an adventurer like you but then i grew old and i never took i single injury unlike my brother he took an arrow to the knee or so he says i asked him to show me and he was all defensive like "whoa man i don't need to prove anything." so i think he's lieing

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Q. What's better then a baby in a microwave? A. What the hell is wrong with you? Did your parents not love you enough when you were born? Everything is worse then a baby in a microwave! Besides the felony charges it is extremely wrong! Your going to hell.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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Your mom is so hot your daddy married her and they lived happily ever after

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okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

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W.N.B.A.

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What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

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What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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a little boy goes down stairs on xmas day he has three presents the first one was a pair of socks the second one was a football and the third one was shin pads the boy was now crying really loud santa is outside laughing why? the boy has no legs

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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