What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

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Why did the bird fall down? It got shot.

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Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

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What would Michael Jackson do on the Moon? Nothing. He's dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice tits

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Tilt your screen back .

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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Yo momma is so ugly that she should probably consider suicide

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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Yo mamas so greasy that she has a beard

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What's good about freedom of speech? Only the idea. Try saying something about Muhammed or calling a cop a power-mad taxman.

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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What did the chickens say to the other chicken Go away mother clucker

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What's in a glass and drinky? A drink

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WHAT THE BABIES?!

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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whats purple and savage? Barney!

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Two homosexuals walk into a bedroom, and begin to have sex.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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