One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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All these jokes are so much funnier when I read them during class, laughing my ass off and everybody's looking at me like I'm retarded

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lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

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Did you hear about the blond that jumped off a bridge? She died.

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Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

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A priest, a midget, and the toothfairy walk into a bar. Barack Obama.

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A gay man watches football.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A Pilot.

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You know what's funny? Rape

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John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

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My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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Your mother is so poor that she has to rely on government sent cheques to sustain a basic lifestyle.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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I was watching Fox news.

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whats one plus one penis

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Q: How many nuns does it take to eat a dead racoon? A: 2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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