Q: What did Nala say to Simba during the stampede? A: Nothing. She was nowhere to be found during that scene.

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Yo mama is so fat that it is obvious obesity runs in the family.

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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What did Tarzan say when the monkeys came over the hill? Hey look, the monkeys are coming over the hill.

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Why do I hate food? I don't.

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why didn't Sally get back up? She had no legs Guess who's getting prosthetic legs for Christmas! Not Sally.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

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What's another word for a priest? Rapist

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Do you play piano? No

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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What is a pirate's favourite letter? There is no definitive answer. It depends on the individual pirate, and the environmental and genetic factors that go to make up his or her preference for a particular letter.

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Women's rights

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Wanna hear a joke? Your contact list.

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26 because if 25 is funnier than 24, 26 should be even funnier right?

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I killed someone on minecraft.

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Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

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What do you get when you cross a muffin with chocolate chips? A chocolate chip muffin.

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whats helen kellers favorite activity fingering herself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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