Huh, I never succeeded in any of those, and I tried a lot. Please tell me you never gone with something nasty like that...

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin "Boy, it sure is getting hot in here," and the other muffin replies "yeah, that's because it's an oven."

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

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Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

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What did the fat lady order at McDonalds? Nothing because she forgot here wallet at home.

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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No

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

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69

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizz

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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Q:Whats rhe best part about spinning a baby round and round Stopping it with a shovel

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Food and blankets from a nearby shelter.

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A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

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Why was the chimp late for his flight? Because chimps arent allowed through airport security.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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