What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

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Why was the presidential candidate sad? He mother was raped on her way to hear his speech and his brother hung himself in his apartment two days earlier.

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What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? One is easier to unload with a pitchfork.

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Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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A group of black people are arrested for murder, what do you need? A better prison.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train?!? The teacher is a highly-intelligent organism and the train is a large vehicle used in transporting goods over long distances on the ground.

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What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

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Can you get me a stapler,make sure it has staples because if it doesn't..........I won't be a ble to staple anything

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Knock knock. Who is there? The FBI. They have a warrant for your arrest.

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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A mormon walks into a bar.

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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Why was Jesus able to walk on water? Because he was the son of God and therefore devine, he can do whatever he pleases

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A llama walks into a pub. Actually, he didnt, because it is physically impossible for a llama to stand up and proceed to walk over 2.8 feet. That stat was a lie.

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your momma is so old, she has heart problems

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what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

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alert("The Game");

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what did the British horse say to the man who owned him? nothing all he sad was neigh.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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chuck norris is meeeeean to pain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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