- Anti Joke

Mac, or Big Jim, as his friends call him, follows the same routine that he has every day for the last several years. His days are always typical and very rarely differ or have any excitement thrown in the mix. It usually starts off by him waking up next to his wife, whom was always giving off a potent and delightful smell. This happens because she has a certain shampoo that makes her much more pleasant-smelling than the normal person, especially as she sleeps. So Big Jim then takes his pillow and throws it at her head. She usually wakes up thinking that he is trying to be a nuisance because of that, even though what follows next has happened every single time for the last few years. He continues to lightly hit her with the pillow until she, in a delightful flurry of feathers, begins to strike back. After a fun and good-looking pillow fight, he then proceeds to the bathroom to urinate and then wash his hands. After this, he then brushes his teeth and gets dressed. He goes to work and is encouraged by his boss every day for his astonishing effort and is then threatened to be promoted if it improves any more by the end of the month. He is always being encouraged by his boss because he does as much as he can do at the Woman's Abuse Shelter. He cares. But, at the end of the month he is never promoted because he threatens to take his boss's daughter out for ice cream - of whom he has fresh photos of her most recent farting accident as proof of his promise. His boss found this quite creepy and inappropriate. Normally, someone would go to the police, especially when there is photographic evidence, but the police chief is too busy to join them for ice cream and the only detective in their small town moved away four months ago. This caused a problem because the ice cream was never disposed of since the only ice cream man died one day prior due to old age. He was 79 at the time and well-loved by the community. After work, Big Jim then went home and his wife hugged him with delight. After dinner with his wife, Big Jim went to bed and had a good night's sleep.

Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

whats worse then biting into a worm and finding an apple??? getting raped up the butt by a giant tiger!

How do you make a baby cry? You kill its mother.

A man throws a penny off of a cliff. He is now one cent poorer

A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. Why? A. To get to the other side. A. Knock, Knock. B. Who's there? A. The chicken.

You know who else sucks dick? My aunt Jane. She was forced to become a prostitute after she got fired from her job.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

did you know the leading cause of funerals is death?

How many carrots can you fit in a truck Depends who's driving

What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

"Doctor do i have aids?" asked the worried 13-year old.

what did the doctor say to the woman? I have 3 testicles

If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

Whats white and sticky fluff

Whats the difference between 2 white men? They both have different jobs and one is racist orange peel.

Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

Rich people gave money to charity Charity gave money to the homeless The homeless spent the money on drugs

Yo momma's so dirty that she washes her hands with anti-bacterial soap.

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

Knock, Knock... Who's there An abandoned baby

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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