A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

Roses are roses Violets are violets Sugar is sugar And you're a person

What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

Why would it matter if they believed such a thing? Are you trying to screw me over? You know that I am very competent at making myself seem like a total jackass myself right? You got a point, it is not my role to help others in life, I just guess I enjoy repairing others, it sure is a hell lot easier than repairing myself, I just enjoy repairing things I can repair I suppose, now using them as my henchmen that's just worthless. The way I see it, people that wage wars, control others, indoctrinate them, and/or accumulate great sums of wealth to the point where, well its pointless, are all just overcompensating, trying to make up for something that they cannot repair within themselves. It is only natural, I mean we humans, if we lack something, we get a lot more of something else. Thanks, you are right about that whole "soul incident" as I call it, it is strange how people often seem to know each other a lot better than they know themselves, I mean I could at any time choose to quit, to become like others, to surrender my individuality, to "give up my soul" or rather the essence of what makes us unique. But you know, ill rather die than live as a servant for a society many would say I never truly learned to understand. Truth is, I will never accept it, if true strength stops arriving from within, its because people choose to seek it from others, the day I require the approval of others in order to sustain myself, ill off myself, that's not a real definition of existence as far as my opinion goes. I mean what are we worth to ourselves, if we become beings that base our so called value on what others think about us? We should focus on becoming those that spread joy and inspire others, rather than to seek inspiration and joy from others. Why? Because its a win win scenario, you cannot spread joy if you got none, you cannot inspire others if we have no inspiration, I guess you can fake it, sometimes until it becomes real, but that is mental-ism and not ideology (not that they are complete opposites, and if they are not opposites, they can work as a synergy) I guess I had forgotten about that, tell yourself that you are great enough, and you become great, excuse me, I am dead tired, its been hours, say, how are you doing?

Q: What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? A: Popcorn Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? A: F'uck you -Ap

My mom fell on our cat and it died.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot. What are you, racist?

'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she didn't want to be late for work.

knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

Roses are red My balls are blue Get off Unless You want too

Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

What's the difference between working at Mc Donalds and working as a hooker? A hooker gets paid more.

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

Ever had sex while camping? It's great.

Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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