Michael Brown

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Q:What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A: A bike

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Why did the girl fall off the swing ? Because she lost her balance and the force of gravity put upon her was too great for her to bear, resulting in her fall.

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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The schoolboy said to the bus driver, this is my stop the bus driver replied "no, we have a while to go yet"

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Your mama's so fat, she cries daily and regularly questions her purpose in life.

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i want to watch t.v, how do u turn it on? idk, do u know how? idk either, i cant see or hear then y do u want to watch t.v wuts a tv?

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What did the Muslim say to the American? Hi

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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why did the teenaged girl cry? she was about to have an abortion

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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Why does austin bell like it up the butt? Cause he's a cat a kitty cat meow meow meow and meow meow meow

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how may horses can you fit in a blender i can't remember what is red and goes 100KPH a horse in a blender

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What's scarier than a ghost? Ur mum.

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? Dyphis, say goodbye to your kids.

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My grandma's star sign was cancer, and it was really ironic how she died, actually... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

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Did you hear about Big Chief Running Water? Probably not. Indoor plumbing was invented after Europeans murdered his ancestors.

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Roses are red, pink, white or yellow. Stop stereotyping my arrogant fellow.

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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How do you stop a bus? You don't, and Regina George didn't either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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