Hello I'm a fat kid

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Phew... it's gone.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

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Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A.One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a human.

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Balboa. Watch as Apollo Creed`s nephews son is trained by Rocky Balboa`s grandson`s neighbor to participate in the new highschool musical will they win this years golden plate? Spoiler: No they did well but lost to Clubber Lang`s and Ivan Drago`s gay sons adopted lovechild`s ballet number. But people kept cheering "BALBOA BALBOA BALBOA!" As Rocky Balboa`s grandson kept yelling "ADRIAAN, ADRIAAAAAAN!" while a picture of Rocky`s grandchild is shown in the background together with the American flag. Moral: This script may or might not have been made for a quick cash in, anyway, its coming out the next radioactive winter 2705.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on a bench? Nothing. Why would you harrass a guy with no arms and no legs.

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What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

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Why don't Black people Dream? Because the last one that did got shot.

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-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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My kids are mistakes.

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Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

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How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first, so you can see its expression. How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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