Why did the chicken cross the road? It has been this way for two days now. Whenever he looks over his shoulder and past his wing, he can see them there. Following him. The men with the red eyes. He doesn't know what they want and doesn't want to find out. He crosses that road as he has crossed so many others recently, squawking and shuffling along on his stubby legs, darting through traffic in a risky effort to shake them off of his tailfeathers. He gets to the other side and ascends the curb, walking beak-first into a pair of legs hidden beneath a grey robe. He looks up and sees a pair of eyes like burning coals staring down at him from within the darkness of a hood. He tries to run, but it is too late. He has been taken. His wings and fingers are forfeit.

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Whats 9 + 10? 19

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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What does God say when a balck person is person is borned? "Another burnt one"

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Which is Taller ? the Giraffe or the Lion is faster ?

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Yo mamas so fat that when a bus hit her she said " who threw that pebble at me"

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Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bucket of poop. The Mexican is a human the bucket of poop is an object filled bodily wastes.

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Yo mama so ugly people don't like to look at her.

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What do you do if you really really hate someone? You kill them. HEEE HEEE! by drew and jubie

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Why did the chicken cross the road To get to your house Knock knock: whos there? The chicken duh

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A man wins 1 million dollars on the pokies. He goes home and tells his wife and kids about the big win. The next day the man goes go the casino and and loses the 1 million as he is addicted to gambling

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A black man and a white woman walk into a bar and celebrate their interracial marriage anniversary over a couple of drinks and then call a cab to avoid driving while intoxicated

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Whats the difference between a sack of babies and a sandwich? A Sand which floats when you put it into a large body of water.

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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why did the chicken cross the road he didnt he was hit by a van

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops