What did the mentally retarded man say to the Waiter who brought him his soup? Thanks for bringing me my soup.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Jake did Why did Isaac cross the road? Because mum told him not to Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Maya was there

thumb_up thumb_down -6

It's like they always say, you get what you pay for. Unless your a woman, then you get what other men pay for.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the goat say to the other goat? They are poorly evolved animals and incable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. The female body inspectors? No, the female bawdy inspectors.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Golf.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Then none of us want to be right.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I'm Andrew Schmitt

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock B: (frustrated), I thought we had that damn thing fixed!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what is big and white? the moon

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what's worse than being hiv+? having full blown aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't the blonde laugh at my blonde joke? She's dead. She should of laughed at my jokes more.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What are 3 skills black people have that they use for basketball? Great hand eye co-ordination, communication and encouragement.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anders Lungren is a worthless peice of scrub

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops