Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said: ‘I’ve had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. What happened when a man went to a bar? A. Nothing, The bar was closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? i lost my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

thumb_up thumb_down -47

what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was the woman blind? Because she couldn't see

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do gay guys eat? Normal food like every other human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I have a joke that involves a duck. Can you guess what it is? If not, then.......uh...........sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock who's there? Hi! where from the church of latter day saints!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Sometimes I don't make sense, but when I do, I don't

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why don't women bother to have penises? Because they're lazy and they don't care.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops