What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.

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What's the difference between and train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage!

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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What's big and purple? Barney

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whats brown and sticky? shit

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Why was the black man holding the knife in such a particular manner? Because he was getting dinner ready for his family.

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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Knock knock Who's there? April April who? April fools

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a tire swing? A: I don't have a tire swing hanging in my backyard.

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Hey whats sad about 4 black people going over a cliff in a cadillac. Nothing

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

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You wanna hear a joke? People that debase womens' rights.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops. tom halls mum

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What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

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Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

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Your mom.

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? She has no legs, that's why.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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