A women walks into a kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats worse than having aids...... Being in school

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My room is a mess, Violets are still blue

thumb_up thumb_down +45

ass in my face ? no

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what has wheels and runs on gas? a car with feet

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you. Way do go lazy you didn't read all the you's so you didn't realize there was a yoo in there. But now you realize there aren't any yoo's there way to go.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call putting a vehicle on the side of the road? Parking.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

thumb_up thumb_down -110

why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A pengiuin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hi! This is Richard Young, I'll take it from here Ms.Mcgruder, lets find a quiet place to talk about this, e.c. at 5:00 p.m. tomarrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the Taxi crash? The cab driver was trying to remove the frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house KNOCK KNOCK who's there? da chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops