A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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What is worse than when the Titanic sunk? You Cannot say. You were on that ship.

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how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

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Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

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Don't hate the cosplayer hate the... Actually, I lied, hate the cosplayer.

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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Yor Mama is soooooooooooo fat, when she looked in da mirror... it cracked.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

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A man enters a bar. Two minutes later, a woman leaves a bar. What happened? A man entered a bar and a woman left. What's there to explain?

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Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

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A clueless chicken walks into a bar. Now being cooked on the BBQ.

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What did the boy say after he hit his head? I just hit my head.

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a turtle walks into a bar and eats everyone

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what shoes do pedafiles wear White vans

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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What's brown, no one likes and has had a bad history? Dog poop

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ermm Hello ? what about me says rishi with a tear down his eye

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Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops