How do u tourcheer a fat kid? Make him chase a dounout

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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A Chinese man a Mexican and an American are all on a plane. They are all trying to get rid of stuff they have to much of in their country. The chinese man throws out a bowl of rice and says " we have to many of these in our country" the mexican throws out a taco and says " we have to many of these in our country" the American throws out the mexican and says "we have to many of these in our country"

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what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

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SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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When I see Debra walking her dog in the morning I often ask myself whose walking who!?

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Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

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Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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The government wants us to stop using gas and be eco friendly. Tell that to Hitler.

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Two men go hunting and one has a sudden heart attack. The other man calls 911 and immediately tells the operator his location and the nature of the emergency. Rescue workers arrive on the scene in a timely manner and the man makes a full recovery.

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What did the marshmallow say to the other marshmallow? We are both bananas.

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knock knock who's there Berry Joe Berry Joe who? I just told you, Berry Joe. oh.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead got into a street fight. who won? The redhead because she had a gun.

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What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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