What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

sky silverstein

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You know whats annoying? Steve

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Ring Around The rosy, Pockets full of posey, Just kidding they are roofies and i'm going to rape you

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a black man on the moon? An Afronaut

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Netflix and chill

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the cat have hair? Because he did.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man is walking on the beach, he trips on a mystical lamp and dusts i off a little. turns out that it was just a lamp, he droped it back on the sand and was arrested for littering.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops