A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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i hate non minorities!

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If your flying upstream in a kayak and a wheel flys off, how many pancakes can fit into a dog house? None, because ice-cream is alergic to frogs!

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Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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What do you call the CEO of a successful company? Rich.

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Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

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Perverted man: Nice bum where u from Hot ladie with the nice bum: Boston Mass so kiss my ASS

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Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you, but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl empty and so is your head.

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Q: What do you call it when you get shot in the face 20 times with a shotgun? A:Nothing, you're dead. Q:What do we call it when you get shot 20 times with a shotgun? A: A blessing.

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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Hey I just met you, and this is Crazy, but I think I Love You, so have my baby! ;)

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Its behind you like if you looked behind

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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Why was Shane cool... Because he was a cool bean.

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banana

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Good.

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What do you call a man who eats another man? An man eater.

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Why was there a lion in the bathroom? Because I threw a refrigerator at it and stapled a frog to its butthole, all while it was being chased by a 10 foot scorpion and a purple salmon that only had 1 eye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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