Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

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Did you hear the joke about the butter? No.

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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poop.

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A blonde walks into a bar. That's it.

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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Your momma's so fat in her history class they wrote down what they were doing

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A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so there i must be a pig

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

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how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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