Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

How did the Mexican get into the U.S.A.? He came in legally, and got his green card. He then continued his life as a business man and won the lottery four years later for 5 million dollars. He then bought a cool television, he also had children and put the money in their college funds later.

why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

Why did an abusive childhood affect the little boy's behavior? Beats me.

How many republicans does it take to raise the debt ceiling? Technically, none, as the president has the right to do this based on the 14th amendment.

"This is Jesus Christ to Tim Tebow. Please leave me alone. Don't you know that my day off, is Sunday?"

What did one guy say to another? Womens rights..........

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

Q: How many children did it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The light bulb was already screwed in and exploded after excessive tampering

Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

So there's this crazy married couple in a old trailer down the road. They are both drunk. The man asks his blond wife, ''Isn't it about time we get married?'' The wife replies ''I wouldn't marry a ugly thing like you!'' The next day, they file a divorce.

why did the chicken cross the road. to get to the other side. but it didnt. ROADKILL

What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

Why was a woman not considered in the role for a stunt driver? Because her skill level was not sufficient enough for the requirements.

What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

Two boys are playing with a toy submarine. One isists it will work in a real test. The boy drowns and the company is sued.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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