A baby seal walked into a club.

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Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

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Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

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Yo mama so fat, she should see a doctor to discuss healthier lifestyles.

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What's better than a pile of dead babies? Anything.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense MICROWAVE

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

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What do you get if you cross a man and a horse? Severe internal bleeding.

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

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What did the man do when the woman broke up with him? He changed his facebook status to single.

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Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

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troll----> hahaha---->

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Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

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What was wrong with the man watching a black and white television program? He wasn't watching a black and white television program at all-he actually had color blindness.

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Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

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What's worse than death? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops