How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

An blind orphan in an impoverished Irish village develops both AIDS and terminal cancer. You laughed a little at that. You are going to hell.

Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

How do you make a tissue dance? Blow a little boogie in it!

Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

There once was a boy. On his birthday, he got a small puppy. The puppy was white and had big eyes. Boy loved his puppy and the puppy loved the boy.

What happens when a scientist tells you a lie? It's not true.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

What do you call your mom after she brings a guy home from a bar? A very caring woman because she doesn't want him driving drunk.

whats round and like a ball a ball

What is worse the the Holocaust? Nothing

What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

Your mama is so stupid that she thought Brendan Fraser was a good actor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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