Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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oh my god! what? i heard this joke the other day and it was hilarious. ok, tell me? actually it doesn't matter i can't remember anyway.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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Two men are sitting on the couch watching sports, the first man farts, the second chuckles. They continue watching their program.

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Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

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What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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What's 100 times worse that finding an worm in your Apple listening to Justin B. Sing! :-)

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away." -Louis

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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women's lacrosse.

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Why does Jerry sandusky like little boys? Because each and every intellectual human being have different interests

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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The dinosaurs aren't really extinct. Just kidding.

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2 gay men walked into a bar, The next day they want back to the bar, They went back on the third day but only 1 man came back out and he was in tears, This was because the other man had a cardiac arrest and died.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong is an astronaut. Michael Jackson abuses little kids.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Kill her entire family.

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? Being eaten by a giant octopus. What's worse than being eaten by a giant octopus? 3 Bee Stings!

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What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

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On a scale from Casey Anthony to Sandusky, how much do you like children?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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