Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your'e probably not going to laugh at this joke, it wasn't made to be funny

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two blondes were driving down the road. The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many Jews does it take to bake a turkey using an oven, I don't know but it only takes one Jew to stuff one.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

YOU IS DUM

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo mamma is so nice, when she bakes a batch of cookies, there's enough for everybody.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Once upon a time there was a pure and beautiful girl who lived with her step-mother and her two step-sisters. They made her live in the basement and had her do all the chores while they went to parties. Then social workers came and relocated her to a foster family.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in an apple within a worm inside your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many times does it take a blond to start a car? Usually once; however, the weather may have an impact how well the engine will spark.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What did the student say to the teacher? A: The answer is four.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the blind man say to the train conductor? Nothing. He was mute too.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Man: Guess what! Other man: What? Man: Chicken butt

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

thumb_up thumb_down

What would Micheal Jackson do if he were alive today? THRILLER! THRILLER! THRILLERS NIGHT!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops