why did the boy get hit by a bus because he had ice cream.

why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? You eat a pizza.

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Hello, nice to meet you.

Q what's worse than Tori's singing A absolutely nothing !

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs, everybody digs. Guys, it's not a very profound poem, but it's deep.

Guy 1: Hey, did you hear about this blind guy who went bungee jumping off a bridge? Guy 2: No, what happened? Guy 1: He couldn't see Jack!

What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

What did Anne Frank say to the Nazis who found her? Please be gentle.

why did the rabit lose the race? it was a dumb@$$

I know where you live. No seriously im looking at you through your window. 80% of you just checked. 90% of you didnt realize i just ended that statement with a question mark. 100% of you just checked gotcha

What do you call a black person with dandruff.... A lamington

How do you push a blond off a cliff? Push here.

What did your mom say when Quinn Griffith Randel walked in the door? Hi.

what did the father say to his son whom had only one arm? hey son.

If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

What's hanging by a rope from the tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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