When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Helen Keller say when she got raped? Stop raping me.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Help iv fallen and i can get up -blarg

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses walk into a bar and sit down at a table. They glare at each other for a moment before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two Gay Men Walk Into a Bar, Not Just Any Bar...... a Sports Bar and Enjoy a nice cold Beer with their Heterosexual friends while watching the super bowl. They both go in the back room, where it is dark, together........ and they call for the manager to find out where the chef is so they can tie him down..... and smother him....... in questions concerning the size of his....... buffalo wings stop judging people you ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Have you seen the new Spiderman movie yet? No, Uncle ben hasn't seen it either.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I'm gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

s o m a a d i t u n y s n i t a c s d c ' s k h k s t o e l y e

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops