I like apples. So does Mr. Johnson from the local fruit stand.

A depressed gay illegal immigrant walks into a bar and the bartender asks why he's sad. The man replies "I'm the most unwanted man in America."

How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

knock knock Come in.

A pedophile walks into a daycare

a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

What's Green and invisible? This cabbage --------------------------->>>>>

Knock knock. Who's there? Hi. Hi Who? Hi who?! Hi Ho Hi HO. Its off to work we go!! umm.

Why did suzy drop her popsicle? She was trampled by a homosexual moose.

How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? Yeah, he died.

A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What will it be?" The homeless man says, "Nothing. I have no money."

What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

What did the lawyer say to the Black man? Your case came through, the murderer of your wife has been caught

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

Anything involving women..

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings! What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Adelle....

Guy finds lamp in the desert and rubs it three times. No genie appears because there's no such thing as magic.

Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

That's funnier than a zebra climbing the Eiffel tower with Bill Clinton on the 4th night of quanza

apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

Who paved the road? The fat guy with the steam roller

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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