A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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A white guy, a black guy, an Indian guy, and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. They drink in moderation and discuss their children, the current state of the economy, and global politics before retiring home to their families.

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What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

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Why did the Israeli military stop the helicopter raids to Gaza? They didn't. They continue them until there is nobody left.

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Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

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Womans profesional lacrosse

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what kind of dog has no tail? a hot dog

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What do you call a pig standing on its back legs? Yo mama

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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A muslim gets on a plane. He is then flown to his destination.

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A jewish man, a black man, and a redhead walk into an electronics store. Because they work there.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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A man buy's a new lawn mower, it breaks so he takes it back. The shopworker says that if you don't have a recipt then you cannot replace it, the man goes home and months later catch's a flu.

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Trees are my friends because they welcome me with open limbs.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

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An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Dig Bick Your dislexic

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42

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Q:Whats funnier than 24? A: 25.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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