What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

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Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

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Barack Obama plays basketball

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

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Jim and Dave walk into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll it be?" Dave is black.

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What happened to the Californian who drove off into the sunset. He died. You can't drive in the ocean.

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What has 4 eyes and cant see? Mississippi

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69

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Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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Fuzzy-wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy-wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy-wuzzy died of cancer.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Btw I have aids And now you too

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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