Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

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did you know towels can cause dry skin?

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Plenty of things but you already knew that.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar. They quickly realize their mistake and cross the street to the tavern where they enjoy a beer and some pretzels.

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

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What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

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^that joke a piece of shit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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Your moms so old. She might die soon

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Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

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The government

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Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

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All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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Donald Trump

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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A jewish man is sitting on a bench. A german man then proceeds to sit down next to him. They say nothing to each other.

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I enjoy telling anticlimactic jokes Very much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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