whats worse than someone blowing out all your birthday candles? a piano dropping on your head.

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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Whats worse then your penis in your mouth? Your mom in your penis.

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There's two bears in a bathtub, One looks at the other and says "hey can you pass the soap?" the other bear says "what do i look like a light bulb?"

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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Roses are red, violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't you worry I'll be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I am High How about you?

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No, I do not have the will, I have a family now, I make a living writing fiction, and well, play a small role in keeping not national, but worldwide stability in such things as the economics. The thing is, that you are renegades, you do not break the law, but you like to do things your own way, that gets you enemies among the so called "paragons" in the face of society and media. Its just like back in the days, if CIA, The Feds, Interpol and such are known as the "Paragons of civilization" or "the good guys" if you prefer, they can point towards you guys, and say "these are evil", and then nothing can stop them.

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A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a woman.

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Lil' Wayne

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Why was the man upset? His entire family was murdered, skinned, separated into assorted body parts, and stapled to trees.

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What is white and square? A ping pong block

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What's your blood type? Red.

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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