Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

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Hey, guess what? What? Dammit!

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How did the asian woman's car get totaled She was hit by a drunk driver

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How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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why navy seals ? they shot osoma bin laden in the face...... multiple times

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Friends are like pickles. If you eat them, they die.

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How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

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Jim and Dave walk into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll it be?" Dave is black.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a mule. Arrested.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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whats worse than a bee sting, two bee stings, whats worse than two bee stings, the holocaust, whats worse than the holocaust, tree bee stings...

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Whats white and bad for your teeth? A refridgerator

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Why did the elephant cross the road? The chicken was on vacation.

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Why do rabbits have such a reputation for rampant reproduction? Sex feels extra good for rabbits.

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Hey, do you want to play the rape game ? NO! That's the spirit

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A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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A black man, a mexican man and a chinese man all walk into a supermarket. Together, they purchase ingredients to make a delicious vegetarian lasagna. That night, they make the lasagna and greatly enjoy it together.

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

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What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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