Why did the older man begin to walk faster after a black man started walking towards him? He was late for work.

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Me: What day is it? Rebecca Black: Tuesday

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Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

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What did Osama bin Laden say to the Navy SEALS? Nothing. There was insufficient time to hold a conversation before they shot him in the face.

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her in the head.

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poop is very very yummy.

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Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is ur chest as flat as ur back?

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The glass is half an hour.

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The Christian Bible.

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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Dude did you hear of that mexcican who made a succesful living? Yeah. Me too,

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Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

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Remember those days where we planned what to do with our lives instead of wondering what things lied ahead? Those where the days, it does not matter if we are relics, heroes, or villains today. Back then, we did not seek to discover our future, we sought to create it, back then our people did not pray for a better day, but worked for it. And love and kindness was not something only found in heaven, but what we shared in what was the closest thing, to heaven on earth. Tell me the truth, are there many like us left in this world?

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Poker? I barely even know her.

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What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

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Why did the 15 year old girl not enjoy her taco? Because the man making her taco was kid napped and replaced with a female that forgot to put cheese on it.

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What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

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Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Hey I'm You're mother..... Haha Jk you're adopted

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A Canadian man, American man and French man all go to a wive swapping party. The Canadian gets the American's wife, the American gets the French wife, and the Frenchman dies of a brain aneurism and the Canadian wife is very disappointed in her night.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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