What did one Chinese man say to the other? ?????

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

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Why did Timmy pass his chemistry exam? Because he studied.

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why did the boy fall of his bike He got shot in the face

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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A Jew walked into Germany. He never walked back out.

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Laughter and joy... You are really sweet you know.. Excuuuse me princess! But Like Mickey Mouse never changed... From a Potato peeler to some fuckup private detective in a trenchcoat. So tell me, what character did Walt Disney draw before Mickey Mouse?

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Why did the cat have hair? Because he did.

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Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

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the WNBA.

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Why did little Timmy start crying? Because he was shot.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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Ehh

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Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

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What's purple, blue, red, orange, yellow and green. A rainbow .

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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