I have the answer to why the child stepped on a ball-he was dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +25

-What's a real anti joke? -This.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Jew walks into a bar. He quickly works on treating the injuries he had received from hitting his head against the bar when he had walked into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was mmfmffemuuuuuffuummuuuuuluuu.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

thumb_up thumb_down -141

What happened to the cow that couldn't moo? It died because it could not make it's needs known to it's fellow herd and was bullied and isolated.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happens when you bite the head off of two animal crackers and make them play leap frog? Nothing. Quit playing with your food.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

thumb_up thumb_down

Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

thumb_up thumb_down +31

The chickens have become self-aware!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The outside of my house is painted yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the white man say to the black man? Nothing. Earlier that day his vocal chords were ripped out by an angry chimpanzee. He will never speak again

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call 10 old black people in a barn? Used farm equipment

thumb_up thumb_down -7

82

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do black men eat chicken? Chicken goes in bone come out.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did one bum way to the other? we're shit out of luck

thumb_up thumb_down

i said call 911 and they said whats the number?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops