A blond and a brunette fall off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Neither. They hit the ground at the exact same time due to the laws of physics

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What did the lady find when she walked through the door? Her husband stabbing himself to death because she ate his cornflakes

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can.

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What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Marla should be home by now, it's nearly 6." He was unaware he had lost his tractor until the next morning.

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How did the comedian end his show with a bang? He shot 4 people in the audience. It was a horrible sight and the remainder of the people in the audience were scarred for life.

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whats worse than a dead cat in your apple? a dead baby in your apple.

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs Because I pushed him

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin.

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Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Getting aids from that apple.

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why did the kid let go of his kite? He got struck by lightning

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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penis haha

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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What's the deal with brown?

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What's worse than the holocaust? Probably nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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