If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happened to the white girl who dropped her ice cream? She bought another one.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

thumb_up thumb_down -5

blind man walks into a . . . .. .

thumb_up thumb_down +12

if your paddling a backwards canoe up a waterfall and it loses its wheel, how many pancakes does it take to fill a dog house? the answer is 17 because aliens are allgeric to cows and mustard.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Q: What do you call a black guy with an air plane? A: A pilot you racist bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The Duck walks up to the lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand...Hey bum bum bum....How much is the lemonade

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What has two legs and can't walk. Someone thats paralyzed!

thumb_up thumb_down -44

A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops