Why is Cindy crying? She got a branch stuck in her eye which irritated her sensitive cornea so her tear duct produced a tear to help shed the material from her eye.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert. It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert who? Mam, he was in an accident. Could you open the door please?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the chicken cross the road? Does it matter why, it just did.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Garry Glitters on here

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Steve Mullings isn't on drugs

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So what makes you that much adaptable? I get the feeling I should get this by now.

thumb_up thumb_down

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the orange elephant with 6 legs say? Kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: She was going to speek at a PETA meeting about the cruel conditions of chicken farms. I hit her with my car

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red Violets are red Oh sh*t the gardens on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +3

noodles

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

thumb_up thumb_down -22

That's as _____ as a ______ guy. Works with anything, and people do laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Math mean: mental, abuse, to, human

thumb_up thumb_down -5

don't do anything i wouldn't do first

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops