How do you make a clown sad? Rape his wife, choke his grandma and send him a video of you setting his children on fire.

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he does what he wants.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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justin beiber has a penis hahahahahahhaah lol not really

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roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

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Jeremy has 8 apples. Susie has 3. how much does Jason have? Purple because aliens don't like grapes.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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what did the guy think who woke up with his hands and feet nailed to a barn. IS THIS BECAUSE IM BLACK!

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

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whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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What's a boomerang that never comes back to you? A stick. :/

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Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

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What do flowers and people have in common? They both die.

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Why did the bartender cry when a construction worker ordered a Jack and Coke? His son Jack had run away five years ago to sell cocaine; his father hadn't seen him since.

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Why did the boy have sex with his grandpa? His grandpa is a nice guy and it was his birthday.

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What's brown and sticky? My ass.

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Q:Whats worst then finding a worm in your apple? A:Getting raped in the ass.

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Scientology.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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