Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

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kid: dad! a kid called me gay today! dad: son, im 100% ok with u hurting that kid! kid: i cant! hes too cute.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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Mr. Burns sex scandal.

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A man falls off a building and dies on Impact

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so david walks into a convenience store and wanted to buy a pack of gum. so he asks the cashier how much is the gum and the cashier said that it is 99 cents and then david said oh no! i thought it was 98 cents.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

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If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

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What's worse than the Holocaust? People trying to be funny writing the same jokes over and over.

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Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

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Why did the moogle cross the road? Kupo kupo kupopo!

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Im thinking of a very long word..... L O N G

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Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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What was jesus's first miracle? He made a blind man walk. And for the stupid people out there jesus's first supposed miracle was making a cripple Walk

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knock, knock come in

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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A French man gets into a fight

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what is white and sticky a stick from a birch tree

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Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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Whats green? The color green.

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What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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