Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

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Oh and Nero, what are you suffering from? Is it dangerous? Are you dying or something? Please dont scare me like that again.

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AIDS

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So there's this one Cheerio who really likes this frosted Cheerio. He walks up to her one day and asks her out. She responded, "no I only date frosted Cheerios." The Cheerio then went and got a tutor, he became very, very smart and turned into a multi-grain Cheerio. He goes up to the frosted Cheerio and asks her out. "no, you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he gets a gym membership and works really, really hard and becomes and apple cinnamon Cheerio. He asks her out again, "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." so he goes to church too and becomes a honey nut Cheerio. "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he focuses and tries even harder than ever before and finally becomes a frosted Cheerio. He asks her out, "will you be my girlfriend? I heard about this party this weekend we can go to." she answers, "I'll be your girlfriend, let's go to that party." So, they go to this party. The boy asks. "do you want anything to drink?" the girl says "sure maybe some wine." the boy en goes to the wine store. There's a super long line and he waits and waits but goes back to the party. He tells her and asks her if she wants anything else. "some soda maybe." he goes to the soda shop and there's another long line and he waits until he can't take it and goes back again. He tells h and asks her if she wants anything else. "some punch please." He goes to the punch store, and there's no punch line.

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

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Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

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Susie had no arms and no legs.. what did she get for Christmas? Cancer. Amy was riding on a swing.. who was pushing her? Not Susie.

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why did corey cross the road? the green man flashed.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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Q: A blonde walks into a bar. What does she get? A: An icepack.

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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Why did the elephant not do 9/11? Because he drank a hispanic turtle.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you call a dog with no legs? You can't call it, you have to go and pick it up.

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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Guess what? You just lost the game.

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A man climbs up a tree. Once he reaches the top he is scared and thus incapable of getting down.

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Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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