- Anti Joke

"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

Why did Johnny throw his money on the floor? Because he was giving it to charity

Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

What did the black kid call the white kid? His name...

Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

Leading a hike.. Kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans him up? Bear.

some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

Why did FiddleBob Joe chuck a stick of butter out the window? Because he wanted to see a butter fly

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

There once was a man from berlin He knocked on a door to go in He got such a fright When the house did ignite That he never went knocking again

A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

Three men are walking and one falls over, he then gets up and continues walking.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

What's large, black and can be found in Australia? A large black Australian man.

What is orange, has 7 legs, and makes the same noise as a crow? If you can think of something that fits all of those characteristics, you need help

Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

Why didn't the boy eat his soup? It was to hot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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