Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

DAAAAAAAAMN! I AM BEHIND THE SQUARE WHEEL AGAIN! AND THAT SHIT IS POINTY! PRETENDING TO CARE IS SUCH A HASSLE! Anyway, I hope you know I was joking (otherwise you would totally be,not as smart as I thought) but yeah lets see, I am the fourth most pointless MAN, after "The square wheel", "My wife" (:)) I guess some guy just married the wrong wife huh?) And the the fucking wheel is a billion times more manly than Justin Bible or whatever you called that... Thing, and that wheel is made from a female tree! What? HAVE THE LAST COMMENT? I DO NOT GET HAVE! I GET TAKE BY FORCE! Well as far as comments and go, and sex of course.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many apples fit in a garbage bag? I actually don't know. I was asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken just lost his job and has entered into a deep depression. He was going to commit suicide at the local KFC, but as he walked into the KFC, he saw a beautiful woman. They lived a full and happy life together until the chicken died of old age. Turns out the woman was blind, and partially deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

TWIX PAUSE!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how do you make the president cry ?? shoot his family !!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q. Why did Steve Carell, the 40 year old virgin, fail to get laid? A. Erectile Dysfunctioning.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between an elephant and a moscito? There are several differencies. Firstly, the elephant is a mammal and the moscito is an insect.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are violet. You guys really suck at making poems...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A conversation between friends ( or some what.) Joe: I'm thinking about going out of state for college ... Rick: your mom went to college! Joe: yes she did Rick that's why shes a docker and my families rich.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock knock. I've got a gun. Knock kn [*BANG!*] [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did the kid with poleo get for christmas. whatever he has on his christmas list because his parents feel bad for passing down the genetic information(DNA) that gave him poleo.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do cats eat for Dinner? Cat Food.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did Chuck Norris say when he saw a cop -Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is an anti joke? It's jokes about jews, blacks, and walking out of bars LIKE AN IRISHMAN

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops