I was watching two muffins baking in an oven. One said to the other, "Wow, it's hot in here." The other one said "Wow! A talking muffin!" I went to my psychiatrist the next day, to increase the dosage on my medication.

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a cow blood everywhere

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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I'm currently on a seafood diet That is, I only eat seafood.

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What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

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What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Butterfly is standing on a flower. Cow comes and steps on that flower

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Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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Why did the n i g g e r steal money? because he was black! and wanted a KFC thanksgiving! :)

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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"I have a job perfromance review today!" Earl told his wife. "Good luck, I will make you a special dinner tonight," Melinda, his wife, responded.

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What's blue and white and can't climb a tree? A fridge in a denim jacket!

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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I ordered the "Anti-Joke" book Jk, waste of money

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I am a real homosexual

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I'm gay. Great me too.

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i had sex i stuck my dick into your mouth

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Women's Rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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