Why did the man have a hard time trying to open the door? The door was locked

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

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People with cancer.

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When life gives you carrots, don't make carrot juice, because it's gross.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

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how do you make Chuck Norris laugh? tell him an anti-joke.

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

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who has brown eyes blonde hair and red lips a human-being

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What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

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what do you get when you combine a vampire,werewolf,and whiny girlfriend ....... the worst show in the history of the earth

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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whats white and sticky glue

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

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Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

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How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

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why did the the frog cross the road? because he was on the chickens back

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Two jewish men walk into the butcher shop. They buy a pound of ground beef and nothing else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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