roses are red but violets are definately violet what retard made this rhyme

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Q: How do you make a black man nervous? A: Threaten to kill his family.

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Once upon a time, a boy sat on a hedgehog. He abruptly stood up, as the spikes had caused him a certain amount of discomfort.

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What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

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how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

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Jimmy tells his mom he wants to be a Firefighter when he grows up to which the mother replies, "You can't Jimmy, you have leukemia."

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What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

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Customer: Can I have a tin of red paint, please? Shop owner: I'm sorry sir, we only have yellow paint left. Customer: That's ok, I have my bike with me.

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why is the name Brian so funny BECAUSE IT IS!

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yo mammas so fat when she gets cut gravy pours out

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How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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What do you call two black guys on a bike? Unsafe operation of a bicycle.

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Your mom is so fat she beat up snorlax from pokémon, than got charged for abbuse because it is illegal to use physical violence on pokémon unless in a battle or in attempt to capture one.

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

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Look whos talking Matt Critchley

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Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

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A man walks into a bar, and immediately sees a person with a big orange head seated near the back. He asked the bartender "why does that man have a big orange head?" "Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell you." So the man bought him a drink and asked the guy with the big orange head why he has a big orange head, and he told him this story: "I was traveling in the sahara desert 10 years ago when I found a pure gold lamp in the sand. I rubbed the sand off so I could read what was on the side when a genie popped out and gave me 3 wishes. First I wished for many riches, and at once gold was all around my feet. Exited, I wished for the most beautiful wife in the world, and right in front of me appeared the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Third, I wished for a big orange head.

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Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

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Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

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68

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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