Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats long and stretchy? elastic

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call an African-American picking cotton and harvesting wheat. A farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's funnier than 1 dead baby? Anything

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into the doctor's office and says "I'm not feeling to good doc." and the doctor says "Thats because you have a fatal brain tumor and probably don't have too long to live."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The only time your mother was ever considered "hot" was at her cremation.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happens when 2 gay men rub their penises together Jello

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Kittens are orange, puppies are grey, and they both make good pets

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: Why did the girl fall of her swing? A: She was hit by a rogue fridge. Q: Why didn't she get back up? A: She was quite badly injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did the crocodile say to the fish? OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!! and then the fish swam away because of the the weird noise the crock was making...

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does a cat sound like when it's being raped by a human? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A white guy, a black guy, an Indian guy, and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. They drink in moderation and discuss their children, the current state of the economy, and global politics before retiring home to their families.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's your guys names?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops