Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible.

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Why did the kid start to cry? His parachute didn't open.

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How do you jump off a bridge? You jump

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One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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women have rights

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How did the blonde get blood on her Ipad? A terrible paper cut.

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What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

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What peels, is a fruit, yellow and tastes like a bannana? A bannana.

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Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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How many 1 ft dwarfs does it take to climb up a 55 ft ladder? Only one. It's just a ladder. All you gotta do is climb up it.

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Why dont you ask the chicken.

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

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Roses are red Violets are actually purple You should probably see an eye doctor.

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If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

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Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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