What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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A white man on his way to happens to sit next to a black man the following conversation involves a democrat and a repuplican arguing about obama's current presidentcy and the wallstreet journal the two do not agree on both sujects and part ways...the white man is later brutally murdered in his own house infront of white and children in an unrelated incident. We should all help to stop violence in our local nieghborhoods.

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How do you know when it's hot outside? When you walk oside and it's hot.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

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women's rights

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When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food there.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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Apparently I'm an unfit father, cuz all I know is dope and all I got is 30 dollas

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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knock knock

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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Six million.

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what's worse than being hiv+? having full blown aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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