Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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Carl has 300 candy bars. He eats 295. What does Carl have? Diabetes. Carl has diabetes.

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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Why did you step on my watermelon?

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Knock Knock Who's There? Dave I don't know a Dave, Please leave.

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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Your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you're just a figment of my imagination.\

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If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

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Knock Knock. Go away!

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with its grandmother who just happened to live on the other side of the road because the doctor had said this could possibly be her last week.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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