Q: A boy went to 7-11 and bought Coke instead of 7up. Why? A: I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Who’s there? Who Who who? Who who who Who who who who? Who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who…

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the paper towel say to the tomato? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what did the deaf man say to his long-lost paraplegic brother? He did audibly make noise as deafness from birth meant that the capacity to form words through sound was much reduced, and instead simply gestured a greeting of loving familiarity.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Emo Girl: Whats Your Favorite song? Regulor Girl: Something Carrie Underwood sing!(: Emo Girl: Are you retarted? Regulor Girl: Well im not the one who loves Emos .-. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Honstley, I didnt right this my cousin told me to wriget this... i think its stupied... And Yes, Ima Emo but im not trying to judge people if there emo or not! :D Luv ya! -Angel- <3

thumb_up thumb_down -150

Why are black people so tall? Because their parents were

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,518

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops