One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

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what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

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What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being raped What's worse than being Raped. Being Raped 2 times by a Giant Scorpion.

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I swear to god it wasn't me! Dont swear to god its a sin !

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What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

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Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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The government makes a good decision

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Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

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more chocolate?

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What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

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What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

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Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Knock Knock Who's there? I bought a Jeep

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What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

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A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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