What's one thing that bothers EVERYONE? Mother Theresa

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

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A priest a rabbi and a minister are all standing at the gates of heaven. Us mortal beings can only conjecture what might've have taken place.

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Why did Rebecca Black die? She killed herself due to the cruelty of many people

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

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What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

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uas;ugbasrG "khVESGF;OQWAEFH;OASEHFO;SAEFUASUusa;uefSOEHFSOEHDF;oasehf;oasehf;uoashvo;uasfo'H EF;owefhoaw;sefoasjefpiwaejf MINTY FRESGH

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You sick fiend

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Things to do get an A on my test win my hockey game become immortal well that escalated quickly

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

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So, how 'bout that airline food?

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Cause KFC was chasing him.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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What do you say when a black person is walking through wal-mart? Prisoner

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What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

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why wont me daughter eat my feces

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I like my women like I like my coffee, without a dick

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough it was car. The End

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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