What did the white man say to the black man that sneezed? -Bless you.

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What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

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what do you do when a dog bites your ear off? you see that you are bleeding then you scream.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He applied for a Visa and was granted authorization to live and work in the United States on a permanent basis.

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What did the cancer patient do during Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair"? -Nothing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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An enormous black man wearing a durag walks into a bar. Due to the diverse and friendly comminuty he lives in, nobody judges him on his race, ethnicity, or culture. He goes on to pursue his career in business and gets a Masters Degree in Business Administration. He get's a job as an IT Director for a very successful business and he marries a well educated woman. They have 2 kids, but one of them is diagnosed with "Ondine's Curse" and dies in it's sleep. Distressed, and mourning the death of his newborn son, he seeks help from his parents. Regardless of his parents comforting and loving attitude towards him, he goes into the inner city smoking and selling illegal drugs like crack. He even got into cocaine and marjuana. 4 and a half years later, he was about to attempt suicide, when he saw his only living son, whom he loved with all his heart, walk into the room with his teddybear. He just looked at him, and he looked back. Suddenly, the father started crying. Flashbacks started playing though his mind of his happy life he was steadily pursuing. "why me?" He constantly thought to himself. What did he do to deserve this? 7 years in the future. The father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Right before his death, he asked to talk to his son. "Son, listen to me. Never try to comtemplate the world we live in, it's too spontaneous and insane to understand. This world can either give you bliss or depression. Nothing inbetween. And most people who make there way up to the top eventually will fall. What goes up must come down. Ha... I never thought I'd be talking to me own son giving him a silly lecture in a deathbed. But just look at me..."the father gets very muddled and disoriented* "...Son. They say most of us have a good reason to live. Well don't most of us have a good reason to die too?" Malik Cartwright died on March 22, 1999. His son went on to legally change his middle name to "Leek", after his father's nickname. He went on to get the same Master's Degree that his father received, and had kids of his own. The whereabouts of the mother are unknown.

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Dave: Hi John! John: I have Aids.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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How did Swiper steal Dora's stuff? He shot her and then took her backpack.

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's brown and red but looks purple? Mixed paint!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a homicidal maniac.

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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I like it it the butt -Tyler James Nehring call me 863-670-1547

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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