Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

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Lillie: tell me three adjectives that would describe yourself. Ellie: pretty, smart, and funny. Lillie: if I were to analyze you...I would say you are pretty, smart, and funny.

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What's something that really sucks? Having a homicidal cat on your chest.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

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Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

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What do you get when you cross a jack-o-lantern and an antelope? Nothing. You wouldn't see an antelope by a pumpkin.

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Q:Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: Because she has no arms. ..... Knock knock! who's there? Not Sara, she has no arms and doesn't have the abitlity to knock.

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There once was a man in Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He was promptly taken to the hospital but died from infection.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

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What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

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what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

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Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

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knock knock whos there jew jew who JEW YOU

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Have you ever treat woman like sandwich? Elephant and walrus said Jews are troubles. If six plus nine is five, chickens will eat you, saturdays.

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Stephen Walking.

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Your Mommy is a gas pump.

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whats blue and fluffy? your mothers chest hair!

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Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

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what's better to a kid than ice cream from an ice cream truck? when you realize the driver was at your house 3 days ago notifying you that he is a convicted pedophile.

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What did the doctor say to the obese person? You have diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops