A Jewish man walks into a grocery store. He purchases the items he needs and leaves.

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What did the jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Where's the dick??? east

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

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What does the thirsty butcher drink? Chocolate milk. Because he can.

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Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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Why did the bones cross the road? They didn't, the dogs ate them.

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what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

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Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

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a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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What is orange and sticky? A blue ice cream with no skeletal structure Hang on, Ice Creams don't talk and the ice cream wasn't even yellow!

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What do you call a man with cheese on his face? His name is David.

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Why do we have brown eggs? Because black people have sex with chickens

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

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I Raped And Killed A Little Girl Called Zoe. It All Started When I Raped A Girl In Her School, I Always Waited Outside Of Her School in my white van, one day the girl I raped before Zoe confronted me in my white van, I asked her if she wanted to see my puppies in the back of the van, she said yes, I locked her in there, I kidnapped her. The next day that girl Mysteriously Died. Iwonder how? Tee hee hee... The next day Zoe came up to my van, She also said yes about the puppies too! I kidnapped her and raped her. The next day I was rushed to hospital, I was revealed by the doctor I Had Been Diagnosed With HIV, I knew it was from her because she is the only girl I'd raped, So I walked home. When I Was Walking Home, I Was Thinking About How Angry I Was With That Lil' Bitch; I Was Thinking of ways to kill her, when I got home I heard her listen to; Bang Bang~ By Ariana Grande, Nikki Minaj And Jessie J. That Got Me thinking, Ah, that's how I am going to kill her. So I opened my cage and Got my gun out; I killed her. Blood Was Dripping Down from her head, I Grabbed the corpse and put It in my basement, after that I started licking her fanny, Drinking Her pussy juice. Then I drained all of her Blood out of her body and bottled it. After all the draining I had 600,000 Bottles. I Drunk one of them. and may I just say: it was delicious! After that, I went online and sold all the bottles to I.Am.A.Vampire.Com For £1million Pounds!! Man is now mega rich and I brought a slut and fucked her. I Now lift a fucking amazing life because of a vulnerable, Dumb Ass girl called Zoe. Thank you!!!!!

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Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

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What is duke oxtoby? legend.

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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