what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

Think of a number between 0 and 2 That's how many times you're going to die in this life

yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

What do you get when you cross a bus full of cancer patients and a train full of children? A very sad train accident.

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

Cripples are lame.

Two men are talking: Bob: "Do you like fishsticks?" Joe: "Yes I do." Bob: "Your a gay fish."

What happened when a myriad people decided to partake in a large party while staying in a small room? They managed to make a compromise. The party got split into two groups: 50% of the original total in each casual confinement. In the end, everybody had a great time and nobody got hurt.

What does Obama and Darth Vader Have in Common? Nothing. Darth Vader is not a real person and thus cannot be compared to the president of the UNited States.

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

I'm not sure if you share videos, but this is a great anti-joke vid. Thank you for the consideration. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHydNGR9rrg

what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

Why was the man so unhappy. he died

What happens when you feed a Mini-horse a Happy Meal? If it doesn't die choking on the plastic toy included in the meal, It will most likely develop a terminal case of horse diabetes and suffer through a slow painful dying process.

i have a black person in my family tree he's still hanginh

You just sunk my battleship! 5,000 people just perished at the bottom the ocean in a war for pointless political reasons.

why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

Dislike if you're a virgin ;)

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

What do you call a fish without an eye? A fsh

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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