Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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a man walks in to a bar he says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey laugh" so he goes in there and makes it laugh and gets a free beer ant then the next day he goes in and says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey cry" so he goes in there and makes the horse cry and the bartender says " i will give you a free beer but first tell me what you did to make my donkey laugh and cry" the man says " first to make the donkey laugh i told the donkey i had a bigger penis than him then to make him cry i showed him

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Why are these jokes so funny? I don't know?

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Soccer...

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

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How do you get rich? Sell knives at warped tour.

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What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

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How do you kill the circus? You chop it's head off.

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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Nothing exceedingly odd happened at a bar

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So there was this Afghan with a backpack on a train... he was going to work.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are you worrying about the chicken? You just got shot.

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i was going to say a gay joke butt f*** it.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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crap!!

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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why did the boy die he had a raging case of cardiovascular disease

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You sneak behind it and hit a shovel across its head.

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What did the boy born with cancer get for christmas? ... More cancer

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How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic men? 25

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops