I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

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Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

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Q. why did the plane crash? A. because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What comes after 69? mouthwash

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How do you stop someone from getting cancer? Kill them.

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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What do you call Chuck Norris when there is a bullet inside of him? Dead.

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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What was the only animal to not board the ark in pairs? Loads of animals because it didn't happen.

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whats one plus one penis

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Roses are blue Violets are red What happened to the gay man? He listened to Justin Beiber And then was straight

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Why did the book fly to Cambodia? It was on a plane that was delivering educational material to third world countries to enhance their schools and increase their literacy.

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a customer walks into a store and says, "the customer is always wrong." the employee replies, "no, the customer is always right." "you just contradicted yourself."

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if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

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go stand in a mirror look at your face that is the joke. 8- now go tell someone you will tell them a joke and do that to them this will be a fast spreading joke. jkjk this joke is so bad everybody give this alot of bad thums. ha ha i do not care

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What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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