How do you kill a Chinese man? There are many ways, all of which are horrible

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Jesus walks into a church only to be touched inappropriately.

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A black man, a mexican man, and a caucasian man, walk into a bar with handguns. The three break out into a gun fight and everyone is killed in the cross-fire

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Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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School : Todays lesson, 1 + 1 = 2 Exam, find the radius of the sun

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I never asked for this.

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how did Andrew meet adele He was working as a stableboy

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Tim and Eric

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

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why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

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wanna hear a joke? i dont

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Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

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A kid goes to the doctor and orders a salad. The doctor replies, "This is a smoking-free environment". The kid puts out his cigar and goes to Olive Garden to get his physical.

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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What is the best school in Victoria? Lyndale.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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What do an airplane and a strawberry have in common? They can both fly.... Except for the strawberry

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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What happen when you put a Ciara and a Charlie together? They have sex.

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What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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