Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why are anti jokes so repetitive? Because you're reading too many, get off your computer.

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some of these so called "anti-jokes" are real joke s- they don't belong on anti-joke. they are very funny but are traditional jokes that use cliched non-sequitor as punchlines.

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Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

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Two homosexuals are making love in the kitchen. One leaves for a bit and says, "Dont finish without me." Upon returning, white goo is spattered across the floor. Concerned that the clumsily dropped icing may stain, they promptly clean it.

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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Knock knock Who's there? Taco Taco who? Taco bell

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**** *** *** ****** *** ** *** ***? ***** I bet you wish you could read that joke. It was **** hilarious.

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Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

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Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what do you wear at a funeral? white. lol jk black

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Q:why did i cross the road A: time to get a watch

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Roses are red, Violets are blue when I saw you what the heel are you

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There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

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yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

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do you know cadbury choclate buttons? yeah, you know the white ones come out now, do you why? so the black kids can get there face dirty too

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How did the black guy cross the street? He jumped it.

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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