What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a white guy walks into a black guy bar who walks out. A. half black half white baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A blind man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He has gotten used to being blind all his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Rock accidentally fed a giraffe his fetuses conceived by a box of glue from Jewish Heritage that was made from marker sharpeners that fed paper to elephants while strumming a box of tissues to wipe up the mess from a box of chocolates Forest Gump feeds on your soul while a rock accidentally feeds a giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Watch he thinks he can out wit me watch adams next joke it will suck sooooo bad

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was 6 afraid of 7? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock ............... No one's home.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the janitor commit suicide? He was sick of people's shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yeah, you cant make nukes without certain components which are illegal to come by, you know Iranian Uranium I believe, I still feel pretty ill, if you dont mind, lets change the subject. Say, does the word yellowcake mean anything to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the samurai commit Sepuku? Because it is an honorable Japanese tradition.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a three-legged cheetah? Crippled.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The answer: He is dead! (read it throughout so you cant go wrong) Question: So why cant a man in Italia marry his widows sister? Moral: Had yet to read one like this one...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops