What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

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Why did the whale rape a guy? He wanted to see what would happen.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have altimers cheese on toast Srry bout the spelling. I couldn't REMEMBER!

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Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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What's the difference between cat and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other is a watermelon.

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I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

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give me a thumbs up

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

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What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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A man died.

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Paul walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: no

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What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

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star wars kid

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

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How do you distinguish between an unlabeled carton of milk and an unlabeled carton of cream without breaking the seals? You label them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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