What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? My girlfriend is alive and 19 years older.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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If yesterday was friday, today is saturday, what day is it tomorrow? sunday

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Whos allergic to BS You R! :D

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Horton Hears... Rape and violence and doesn't do anything about it.

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Waiter. there's a fly in my soup! I apologize, I'll bring you a new one immediately.

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Man walks into a bar, Has a few drinks and goes home.

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What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

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PSP... Is a cat... you can throw against the wall.

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Butt poop.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A mormon *slam*

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I scream You scream We all scream For dead babies

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Josh brown, Cant have sex, you want to know why...... Because he has a smelly vagina

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A man comes to a fork in the road. He then looks around then proceeds to pick it up, puts it in his pocket, then continues walking down the road as if nothing had happened.

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

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what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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