Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Q: What is the difference between a potato chip and a frog? A: Neither one of them is a flower.

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Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man. A pizza can feed a family of five.

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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my gave me a game i said thank you

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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How do you know if a girl is special? If she hates justin bieber, Twilight, and is open to threeways.

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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If u read thus your awsome .... And if your a emo kid with rainbow hair and a 3 inch penis then NO your bad

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What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

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whats worse than one bee sting? two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings? the halocaust whats worse than the halocaust? three bee stings

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A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

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Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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