A man and a woman are happily married. The die

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A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

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if i could change the alphabet, i wouldn't its perfectly fine the way it is.

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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lololololololololol

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Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? Vegeta got rid of the scouter because a monocle built for displaying a person's physical abilities in numbers is extremely farfetched and he didn't want to be a part of a super race of supreme beings that still relied on such ridiculous antics

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You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

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How do you confuse a black man? Paint him white.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know you have to ask the chicken if you speak chicken

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What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

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Q:what does jgjdhter hjldhgukrh mean A: it means something it is a real word

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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