A hill billy went fishing

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "How did you lose your arm?" The amputee doesn't respond because he has been deaf and mute since birth.

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Why did the father beat his daughter? To alleviate stress.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He chickened out.

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A girl that had Malaria couldn't play with her friends, whys this? She died.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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What is next?

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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Whats big, ugly, and sucks? Death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

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even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. but has a high probability of getting hit by a car and slowly dying from crushed limbs

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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What do you call a pool filled with black people? A pool

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly 10 consecutive times in the head with a knife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops