How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

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What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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A dyslexic walks into a bar. He called it a bra because he was dyslexic and dyslexics misspell things. People laughed at him because mental disabilities are inherently humorous to them.

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Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

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What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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What worse than finding crap on the road? Tripping over and landing on it.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he was to busy watching porn. And then was hit by a truck.

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haha ur single hahahahahhahahahhahaahahhaahaha i am 2

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pineapples

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Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

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Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

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Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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Knock Kock Who's there? Boo Boo who The ghost from Mario

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What's funnier than a joke book? 2 joke books.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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A woman walks into a bar.

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How did Justin Bieber die? He didn't. And we all need to stop making fun of that poor boy.

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

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How do you make a baby cry ? Throw a brick at his face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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