What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because it is a bar for cats only.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

if you have a name/nickname/brand/version or number, please like this anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

i hate this glue. give me one new or i will poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why was little jimmy sad? he had a frog stapled to his mouth why did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why did little jimmy fall of the swingset? he didnt have any arms what did little jimmy want for Christmas? parents what did he get for Christmas? cancer knock knock whos there? not jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What Did The Farmer When He Lost His Tractor? "Wheres my Tracto?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is white and when it falls, your fridge is broken? Your fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If an orange is orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow? Because the word 'banana' comes from the Arabic word for finger as it obviously resembles a finger. The person that named the orange was equally lazy, but just not Arabic.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Nothing, they never met! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the penny say to the other penny? Nothing, because pennies can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you do when a blonde takes the pin out of a grenade and throws it at you? Take cover as there is a person close to you wielding an active grenade.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot. Duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the Police Officer do after he made a positive identification of a Prostitute? He proceeded to pay her in cash for sexual favors because prostitution is legal in the state of Nevada

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops