What's big, red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

alert("The Game");

thumb_up thumb_down -99

A man walks into a bar. What's missing? The joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Bob wear a jumper and trousers even though it was a very hot day? Because he is an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A plane full of atheists, with one Christian, crashes into a field over Ohio. Everybody but the Christian dies upon impact. Amazed, a news reporter on the scene of the crash, asks the man, "How did you suvive this tragic event?" "I had a parachute." Responds the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

a boy comes to a girl and ask : do you like vaginas ? and she says course not your dumb ass and he says then give her to me *troll face*

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a black man yelling into a crowd? a preacher

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats brown,looks like a.dike,and is a whore. Marcella

thumb_up thumb_down

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What is white and smells like wood? White painted wood

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My room is a mess, Violets are still blue

thumb_up thumb_down +47

WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down

"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

ure mama's so fat

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a boy that was once a boy, but no longer is a boy? A Man

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops