Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make a clown sad? Rape his wife, choke his grandma and send him a video of you setting his children on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A blind man watches TV

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a man is found hanging from the ceiling of a barn and there is no chairs or anything to stand on around. his girlfriend goes in to deep depression and kills herself the next week.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

7+5=12

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mom is so fat, she had liposuction.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

10+10=20. 20+20=40 40-10=30 I have 2 penises.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

give me thumbs up or i'll rape u to death

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A boy was constantly getting bullyed at school... so he went home

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How to pick up chicks Pick up a chicken but must be a baby

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Here is a joke for you: minecraft -blarg

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops