Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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What did the man say to the other man. Hi

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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