How do you call a cat for it's dinner? Come here cat!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans

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What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is right behind 7 and he's naked.

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An irish man stumbles out of a bar.

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Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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So you there Red?

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pobody's nerfect

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How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Everybody leaves except Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson never walked out alive

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

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Q:How meny jews can u fit in a mini? A:5 in the seats and 1 million in the ashtray.

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Why did Bob wear a jumper and trousers even though it was a very hot day? Because he is an idiot.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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the WNBA

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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