Jesus steps out of a boat, and walks across the water to shore. He's such a show of. Only an attention whore would leave a boat and walk across water for no good reason.

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-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

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What's brown and sticky??? A brown stick

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How did the boy compliment the girl? He told her she had a lot of breasts. In return, she told him he had many penises.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your dog and finding a worm.

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How many finger does a normal person have? 8...and 2 thumbs!!

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what did the 14 year old boy get for christmas? nothing because he his sitting in prison for killin his parents and is serving a life sentence.

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

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Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

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I saw a mexican drowning and saved him... as my screensaver ;)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

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Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

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Why did the girl fall of her chair? The chair can only hold so much weight.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am staraiL so dont touch me!!!!!

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

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i was raised in a bad family. i was the youngest and i was abused then i died three years back. then i died again and then i died again then i died again then again then i LIVED but then i died again then i died again then i died again then i died again

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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