What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

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Worst joke to tell an orphan. Knock knock. Who's there. Not your parents

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Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He Died Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He was stapled the the first koala

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How's the weather? Good.

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Q) What is the difference between an elephant and a toaster? A) Do you seriously not know the difference between an elephant... and a toaster?

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Nate has 32 candy bars. he eats 28 of them. What is he left with? 4 candy bars

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asked the bartender. "It's genetic." replied the horse, amazed at the man's incapability to understand horses.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

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Three men walk into a bar. Neither of them saw it coming

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What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

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i told my parents that i was having friends come over my dad said great my mom said great so i said great

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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I used to know what alzheimers was

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How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

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Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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If you can't read this, you should think about optical enhancement surgery. If you can, however, you just wasted 5 seconds of your life doing so.

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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