Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man spills his his drink. Like any other man would do, he got some paper towels and some mult-purpose cleaner and proceeded to wipe up the mess. Not a further word was said about the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is jim gay? because he likes men

thumb_up thumb_down +42

The.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I've got the moobs like jagger.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Romeny or Obama? Obamney

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are read Vilots are blue, I have a gun, Now get out of my house!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by your great grandma

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why are there no aspirin factories in the Amazon Rainforest? Because it would be unprofitable to build a factory that requires a large workforce in an uninhabited area.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man with Alztheimers walks into a bar. He forgets the purpose of being there.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man was running from drug dealers When they had him cornered he ran towards the sun and died

thumb_up thumb_down -13

if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops