If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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How many blodnes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Approximately 17. with the addition of 6 brunettes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is theoretically impossible to read another's inner thought process, but it was probably due to the electric stimulation from the brain to give the chicken's muscles the ability to move.

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What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, hes Jewish.

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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What did the two eggs in the frying pan say to each other? Nothing, their eggs.

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your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

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Why did the polar bear cross the road? He didn't, there are no roads in Antarctica.

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

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How did Hellen Keller eat her meals? With a fork.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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what did the chinese man say to the convicts at the side of the road? so long gay boys what did the convicts do to the chinese man? nothing he was in a car

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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Do you know what's funny? 9/11

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if life hands u melons, make melonade.

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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Knock Knock .... Knock Knock .... Pum Pum Pum .... LAPD! open the door!

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So, Elvis walks into a bathroom...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops