Whats brown and smells like poo?? Poo

What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

Why was the boy sick? Because he accidently ate his own feces.

Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

Why did the chicken cross the mobia strip? To get to the same side!

9/11

It burns when I pee sometimes.

A black man, an Asian man, and a Mexican man jump off a bridge. They were all suffering from chronic depression and couldn't take the pressures of life anymore.

are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Traveling Salesman.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

How do you make Yoda sad? Kill all of his friends.

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

What the difference between Adolf Hitler and Michael Phelps? Micheal Phelps can finish a race.

Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

Q. What did Grandmother get Little Boy Johnny for Christmas? A. Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving Day.

Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why didn't Sally get back up? She had no legs Guess who's getting prosthetic legs for Christmas! Not Sally.

Q: Why does a zebra have stripes? A: Because Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse.

Your momma's so fat: She fears a lower life expectancy and consequently not seeing her grandchildren grow up.

WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND SAW PROSTITUTE OUT THE WINDOW AND SAID GRANDMA GRANDMA CAN I GO PLAY WITH THAT PROSTITUTE SHE SAID NO YOU CAN PLAY WITH ME BECAUSE I'M A PROSTITUTE TOO

Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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