Curiosity killed the cat and was sentenced to prison for animal abuse.

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What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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Have you seen the movie "Gay Men Say No"? Oh yes, that is very insightful documentary on the modern day struggles of homosexuality.

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Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

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I AM SO FAT I WANT TO EAT MORE FOOD. I NEED A DOCTOR BECAUSE IM GOING TO END UP LIKE YOUR MOM!

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why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

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Your Mom

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What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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What's worse than finding jokes that repeat on Anti-Joke.com? AIDS

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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Why did the black man have lots of money. He studied hard at school and got into a good university. He dedicated 5 years of his life working relentlessly and getting his diploma in medicine then went on to work in a private hospital as head doctor and neuro surgeon. He was very successful in his specific field of medicine. That didn't work out so after quitting his job and realizing he had wasted over 7 years of his life achieving nothing but lose of interest in his career. He then bought a lottery ticket and won 8 million dollars.

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Why can't you look at the sun? Because it's 2.00 AM

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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roses are red violet is blue sugar is sweet f*ck you im a moon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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