Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty jumped off and committed suicide.

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Q: How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I heard this joke before but I can't remember

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Whats worst than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?

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How do you fit 94 jews in a volkswagon? two in the front, three in the back, and 89 in the ash tray

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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yolo mother f-uckaaaa

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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What did the Mexican say to the Black guy? Nice to meet you Mr. President. I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Los Angeles.

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What do a vampire and a ginger have in common they're both afraid of the sunligh- oh wait this anti jokes ohhhhhhh oh well

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What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away."

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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porn-hub

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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Your father must be an alien because he's driving a UFO

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

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A black man bought a large condom because he has a big penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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