Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

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How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

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Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT WHEN SHE JUMPED FOR JOY........she didn't get stuck because there's nothing to get stuck in.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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What do you call a horse with out ears? A horse with out ears?

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How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

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Let's not pick mushrooms in heaven.

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What is the last digit of Pi? Pi is an infinite decimal sequence, and therefore has no last number, but if it did, it would presumably be somewhere from 0-9.

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What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

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What do you call a puppy in alaska? A cold PUPPY!!!!!

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What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

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what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

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Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

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I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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