I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT GAY! But my boyfriend is. Love you, Jeff.

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what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

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a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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It's not just me bomber, Kane Aodhan and kevin are all posting stuff too so SBB!!!

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What's worse than The Holocaust? CREED...

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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ask me if im a house are you a house? no

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

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25

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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