the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

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a preist sees a rabbi on the street while taking a walk. he says hi and proceeds to have a nice conversation as they are good friends despite their religous differences

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

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Did you hear about the homeless man? He asked me if I had any spare change. I didn't. I found the encounter to be very depressing.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What do people say? words.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your roommate, I forgot my keys.

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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who is the wildest wild one? matt daly

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where is madeline macam? hiding is mjs cubord

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Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

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What do you call it when 1 person has an imaginary friend? A mental disorder. What do you call it when 1 billion people have an imaginary friend? A Religion.

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

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what happens when you throw a rock in the water? it gets wet

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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