my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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what did the downsindrome get for christmas?? A: Aids and a Dead wife

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i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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why did the jew cross the road? He didnt. He got stuck in the wire fence.

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What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Yo mama is so fat... she died due to type two diabetes.

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What is the diffrence between a guy and pie? The pie taste like fruit somethimes

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How did the young child react when a bullet went through his head? He fell to the ground and his heart stopped beating.

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk gets in his car and has a terrible crash because he was to intoxicated the end.

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What word is ten letters long and starts with gas? Gastronomy.

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Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an axe

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Yo mama so fat.

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A man walks into a bar. As he walks in, numerous people turn their heads in awe. Is it... it can't be. It's Paul McCartney, the famous musician! "Oh - I'm not Paul McCartney". The man then said. "I just look a lot like him. Sorry." "Awww. That's a shame." said John Lennon, disappointed.

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Choir.

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What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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