She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

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How do you get rid of black elephants? Arrest it for being black.

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Commercials lie: I think that they do believe it's not butter!

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it was hit by a car

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ewrg

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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tried to think of a great "anti-joke" not creative enough

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Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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What's worse than death? Not a lot!

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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connor sucks

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I flipped through the Yellow Pages, made a few calls, and found the Chinese man I was looking for.

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What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Sure. Me too, do you have any?

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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What did the young girl say to her step-dad? Nothing. She no longer talks to him after years and years of sexual abuse which left her emotionally scarred.

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why didn't bobby eat breakfast? because i stapled his head to the floor

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When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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