A black guy walks into a bar... *3 hours later* He walks out...

Why was the man sad He wasnt i lied

Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

Q: What did one muffin say to the other muffin? A: "AAAA! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

So three hikers decide to face the deadly challenge of climbing Mount Everest. They were unaware of the risks, and were all brutally killed in an avalanche.

What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

Other Guy: What are you looking at? Me: You.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

Why did the baby fall down from the tree? It was dead.

I'm trying to see from Adam Fantuzzi's point of view but i cant stick my head that far up my arse Daniel

Your Mama's so fat she need some serious medication treating overweight.

Why don't you play cards with a cheetah? It will attack you.

How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

Whats the difference between the holocaust and Norm McDonald? One can be laughed at the other is Norm McDonald.

What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

What's stronger than then the love of a mother and her child? A semi-truck

A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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