What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

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What did the coach do to the player Coached the player

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

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Why did the tree get mad at the bush? It didn't. Bushes are inanimate objects, and so are trees.

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The blondes on the opposite part of the lake is a pretty good joke

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

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Q: Whats worse than a dead baby in a bag? A: Please just make my hamburger.

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What do you call a 2 storied house ?

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A women's opinion.

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which of the following is right -the yoke is white -the yoke are white neither the yoke is yellow

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was nailed to the chicken

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Why did the man staple his own scrotum to his left thigh? He didn't. His friends did.

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An English man walks into a pub.

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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