How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

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I bet you read this. Told ya.

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knock, knock who's there? I'm here to kill u! I'm here to kill u who? .......

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

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What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because I shot him. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because his tail was stapled to the other monkey.

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

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What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

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why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get my ball back.

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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What's white and sticky? Snow. What were you thinking of?

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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"stupid creationist" Perfect example of redundance.

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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