A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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What do fish and shoe laces have in common? nothing.

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Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

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Q: whats worse that sucking at piano A: the world blowing up

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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Why did the hunter shoot the deer? Because he was hungry and might starve to death if he didnt

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A black man walks into a bar. the bartender ask what he wants to drink. the black man responds , "i will have one beer please". so the bartender gives it to him and says have a nice day.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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Q: If Elvis was alive today, what would he crave the most? A: Brains. Moral: BRAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up you retarded poet!

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a dick you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now,

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Roses are red, Violets are blue I'm Schizophrenic and so am I

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your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future.

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Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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What's one plus one? two.

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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what's worse than one scoop of ice crea falling on the floor? - the holocaust what's worse than two scoops of ice cream falling on the floor? - nothing

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a gay couple walks into a bar and get a drink

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I am white, you are black, we can be friends, racism was abolished.

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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