what did the tree say to the other tree? Don't leaf me!

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roses are red, violets are blue, your boyfriends thinks i'm hot that's why he dumped you

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a horse walks into a bar except it wasn't a horse it was Sarah Jessica Parker

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What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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Knock knock! Who's There? @HurricaneKris4 on Twitter Ok I'll follow you...

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Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

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Why couldn't the baby boy read the book? He had eye cancer and was therefore blind.

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There are a fox and a chicken and the fox eats the chicken.

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three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

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How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

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why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

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Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

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Your mother is so rotund, in fact she went to a weight loss clinic... but gained weight

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A man walked into a bar. That hurt.

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What's worse than 10 babies stapled to a tree? The Holocaust.

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Why'd the man walk his dog His pen ran out of ink

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey! Got any guns

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Q: A Blonde and a Brunette fall of a building which one hits the ground first? A: The Brunette because she ways 200 pounds and the Blonde weighs 100.

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why wasn't the boy at his moms funeral? He killed his mom.

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Man: You know you're crazy when you talk to inanimate objects, you know you're Insane when they reply. Stick: I know, right?

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A dislexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to enjoy the breasts that he has stumbled upon.p

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you need 2 pple for this. Ask me if im a tree? Are you a tree? no

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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