What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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wsde

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What's the difference between working at Mc Donalds and working as a hooker? A hooker gets paid more.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple except for the elephant.

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where do some birds live in? Earth

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why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

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miley cyrus

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?J?o?k?e?

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What's black and white and red all over? Two biracial gay guys boning a can of paint...

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A man sat on a chair

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So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night, To find nothing amiss.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

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" Whats the deal with airline food? " -Sharon

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What's round and red? A red and round solid.

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what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops