Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

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why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

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Goat balls.

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what did batman say to robin to tell him to get in the car? get in.

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Yo mama's so old, she might die soon

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What happens when you cross a housecat with a feral cat? A kitten is born.

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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Penis.

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What has wings and can't fly? What has legs and can't move? What has mouth and can't eat? A dead bird on the road

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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What's red, blue, and purple? purple.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

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Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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Hey, the eighties called, they were really excited about inventing a phone that could call the future.

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A man walks into a party, walks over to the snack stand, and is surprised to find that there is no punch line.

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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Why can't Hank drive? Hank is a stone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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