if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

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Whats worse than 2 babies in a trashcan. 1 baby in 2 trashcans

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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What do you get when you kill justin beiber? A medal..

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Zach Barlow

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What's worse then having Casey Anthony babysit your child? A girl asking, "Is it in?"

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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Why didn't the boy get his sister a birthday present? Because it wasn't her birthday.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff!

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What did it say on the banner for an international dyslexics support group? Dyslexics of the world unite.

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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What's the difference between red hair and black hair? Redheads vs. blackheads

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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A black kid, a white kid, an Asian, and a Dane all take acid in a room. They have a profound experience and find a greater meaning in life.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What did the black man say to the white man? "I like your shirt" The black man walked off and lived out the rest of his days in peace.

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Wow, fuzzy feelings, you just made my top 10.000 friends list. Jk, you my favorite girl right now, I mean my wife is always my favorite, but the kind of love I feel for you, is a completely different kind of love, I consider it the sum of who you are, and I cant say I love you the same, because it is a completely different feeling. Wow, I cant believe I am typing this on horsehead network, by the way Red, you better get out of here, or I am going to have to shut your operations down, sorry for getting serious in the middle of this, but we can meet and be friends, if you promise to take good care of my new friend (you), but getting out of this site, you and your crew. So, sex whenver you feel like and friends for life? How does that sound? I prefer long term agreements.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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