Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

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What's purple, red, green and does jumping jacks. Nothing... that sounds pretty crazy if you ask me.

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Did you hear the one about the HIV positive man that got rear-ended on the highway? The motorist behind him was distracted on his cell phone, and did not hit the breaks in time to stop.

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Why did? Yes

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a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

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Har har hey

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A caterpillar walks into a bar. I don't know how he opened the door.

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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What did God say when he saw the first black man? What a wonderful creation I have made.

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

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Wanna know something fishy? A fish

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

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What did Kim Kardashian say when she got a breast implant? DERP!

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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Your mama's so fat.

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Knock, knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest!

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses can also be white And violets can also be purple

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This statement is false.

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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Why does beonce say to the left, to the left. she doesnt she sings it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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