What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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Jim: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bill: Why? Jim: To get to the other side! Bill: I don't get it Jim: It's an anti-joke, because you expect a punchline but there is no punchline, you get it? Bill: Hold on, let me tickle myself.......oh okay now I get it hahahahaha!

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(insert command here) Oh yeah, well I want world peace.

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Nobody know he couldn't open it.

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? New Kids on the Block. Wait, who?

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Two gay guys go into a bedroom, in different houses at different times.

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I have a horse.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q. What do you say when a baby gets hit by a car? A. Lol fail

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A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

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people say thers saftey in numbers, try telling that to 6 million jews

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Doctor! I have no problems at all! So, uh why are you here? Isnt that freaking weird? Wow, that might be a problem! Puh! I have a problem then. Yeah, goodbye!

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i'm filthy rich literally because money is dirty

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What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would you like a cupcake?

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Three women are sent to heaven. Theres a blond , brunette , and a redhead. There are 100 steps to heaven and on every step god tells you a joke and you cant laugh. The redhead makes it to step 23 then laughs. The brunette makes it to step 67 then laughs. Finally the blond make it all the way to the 100th step and before god can tell the joke she laughs. God asks why are u laughing? And the blond says " i just got the 1st one"!

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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