What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A Coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the fat girl say to her friend? I'm fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

bologna

thumb_up thumb_down +9

This is a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than burning your foot? Getting it eaten off by a cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call A potato who is covered in red refrigerators and is known as a potato. Fallafal

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

speech and debate.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is a dog's favorite color? None,dogs have colorblindness.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I need to start studying.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The doctor asks the patient how he's doing, the patient says fine. The doctor says "that's weird cause you have leukemia."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You have friends

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how do you scare a blonde person? dress up in orange and scream "mustard"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why Americans are so bad at League of Legends? Because they can't defend their towers.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I Raped And Killed A Little Girl Called Zoe. It All Started When I Raped A Girl In Her School, I Always Waited Outside Of Her School in my white van, one day the girl I raped before Zoe confronted me in my white van, I asked her if she wanted to see my puppies in the back of the van, she said yes, I locked her in there, I kidnapped her. The next day that girl Mysteriously Died. Iwonder how? Tee hee hee... The next day Zoe came up to my van, She also said yes about the puppies too! I kidnapped her and raped her. The next day I was rushed to hospital, I was revealed by the doctor I Had Been Diagnosed With HIV, I knew it was from her because she is the only girl I'd raped, So I walked home. When I Was Walking Home, I Was Thinking About How Angry I Was With That Lil' Bitch; I Was Thinking of ways to kill her, when I got home I heard her listen to; Bang Bang~ By Ariana Grande, Nikki Minaj And Jessie J. That Got Me thinking, Ah, that's how I am going to kill her. So I opened my cage and Got my gun out; I killed her. Blood Was Dripping Down from her head, I Grabbed the corpse and put It in my basement, after that I started licking her fanny, Drinking Her pussy juice. Then I drained all of her Blood out of her body and bottled it. After all the draining I had 600,000 Bottles. I Drunk one of them. and may I just say: it was delicious! After that, I went online and sold all the bottles to I.Am.A.Vampire.Com For £1million Pounds!! Man is now mega rich and I brought a slut and fucked her. I Now lift a fucking amazing life because of a vulnerable, Dumb Ass girl called Zoe. Thank you!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny your son let me in mom! Son, I have something to tell you. What? Well, you're actually adopted *sobs*

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There was a man and a woman. In a lodge all alone ready to create a child. instead of having sex he violently punched her in the face and stabbed her in her armpits until her loud screams for help had stopped.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do many men find it difficult to make eye contact? Debilitating autism.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops