Dear People who are reading this, I am seriously considering suicide. My Mom beats me and my Dad rapes me in the butthole until i bleed. I have no friends and the only way i get my nut off is if it is into a napkin. I often put peanutbutter on my ballsack and have my dog lick it off. It is the only time that i am happy. I have the gun to my head right now and if you wanna talk me out of it. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska. My number is (402)713-9565. Hurry before i run out of time...... and tears. Sincerely, Adam Claypool

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Knock Knock! Whos there? Doctor! Doctor who? exactly.. how did you know?

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Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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What does aaron eat for dinner Answer- Fat Finger HAHAHAHAHA

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If life gives you lemons, Eat them.

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I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

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Why was the girl crying? She got shot in the penis

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what did the scientist say in Siberia? burrrrrrrrrrilium

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Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, now that i think of it, roses come in many colors And violets are actually violet in color, thus the name

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OIO

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

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Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

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Homosexuals are gay.

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks why the long face? The horse, unable to comprehend human speech, promptly craps on the floor and leaves.

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Chuck Norris died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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