What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

Tip for Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the resumes into the bin.

Why did the chicken contact Michael Jackson? To get to the other side.

Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

whats small and tickles? pubic lice

Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

Yo mama is so fat, we are all concerned about her weight.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Apple

what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

Why did the spy cross the road? To get to the other hide.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

What did the Black guy say to the Jew? Lets be equals

Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

Knock Knock! Whos There? Paul Okay I was expecting you

Knock Knock. Knockin on Heavens door, oh hey come in

Why couldn't John ride a bicycle? Because he is a fish.

What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

What do a cow girl and an orange have in common? They all are fruit, except for the cowgirl.

Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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