What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

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Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing?

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poopy is poopy

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

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Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

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Chocolate rain Awesome!

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That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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mark is mark

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Chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn, He calls someone to do it for him and then he pays them a great deal of money considering he has a large lawn.

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Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why are all blondes dumb? They are not all dumb but constant bullying just saying blondes are just pretty gives them that illogical stereo type

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How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

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what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

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NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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