why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

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What do you call an German with a knife in his leg ? An ambulance as he has a serious leg wound and will soon die of blood loss

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Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why did the man poop his pants. becuase he had to poop.

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

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Im taking a shit right now.

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What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

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As little Timmy crossed the finish line his heart raced with excitement he had just won the big race. Later he and his family went home to celebrate they had pizza and chips and soft drinks. Then they played scrabble and watched spiderman 2. After that Timmy went to sleep. When his parents found him that morning they mourned and mourned because their hero little Timmy was still asleep.

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What happens when lady gaga and chris brown jump into the pool at the same exact time. They get wet

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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God

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Obama enters a KKK meeting Obama: Oh sorry I thought this was the Kentucky Fried Chicken... the font was so small so... as he starts backing off scared... KKK: leader, of course Mr.President, feel free to come again anytime! Moral: Kings Knocking Ketchup is actually a nice place if you not unlike me enjoy ketchup...

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Her father beat her

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What did the baby say to it's mother as it was being thrown in the trash bin? Nothing, it couldn't talk yet.

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So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

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24

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A typical out-door activity.

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25

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Donkey lips

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What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson. I spelled "red" wrong.

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Whats the difference between a van with a bunch of babies in the back and a Cadillac with a bunch of babies in the back I don't have a Cadillac in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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