What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

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The battle of Troy lasted approximatley nine years.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was already in the oven.

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How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete jumped out, who was left? Pete, the boat blew up and instantly killed repeat

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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Yo mama is so fat, she eats three times the normal amount of calories one should eat in a single day. This resulted in her early demise, to which you mourned for numerous months before accepting the fact that she was gone.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Q:the is a mexican and a black guy in the car who id driving? A:the cop

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How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

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A priest, a minister and a rabbit were seated next to each other on an airplane. They all had to pay for lunch.

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Okay, an ambulance is arriving for me (cops called it whatever I am fine) If you are still reading this then get the fuck out before I fire you no more messages.

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Why was the man in the kitchen? Because his wife was raped and killed.

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

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kids make accidents in the backseat of your car but u and your wife made an accident in the backseat and thats how you got that rottten troll that makes accidents in the car!!

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C.U.M. on guys, gay jokes arent funny

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why is 6 afraid of 7? because 6 is a capitalist and 7 is a communist

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Yo momma's so fat, however, she takes pride in her size because every body is beautiful.

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My son won the lottery. I shot him so I could have the money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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