Hi

Want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke again? Bubbles was the girl next door, Jonny raped her.

hahaha

You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients.

Q: Why did the Klansman go up to acclaimed rapper and television star, Flavor Flav, and say "Do you know what time it is, boy?" A: Because his trademark "bling" seems to be an actual functioning time piece. Q2: Why did that same Klansmen brutally murder Flavor Flav after he learned it was 5:46 in the pm? A2: Becasue Flavor Flav is black and that's kinda what you're expected to do in the Klan...

Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

Whats long and hard and women like to suck on them? A popsicle or long lollipop

My mom is such a bitch that no one will date her!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TRUE STORY!! :D

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

I just drank a cola.

What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? He was hit by a bus

What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

A black van approaches a small boy. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away.

What will you never see? A white guy that camp jump.

What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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