fack me in the ace! CC

They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

A man walks into a park and presents candy to children. They request more candy and thus are laureded into his van. They are raped murdered and never seen again.

A midget goes up to a prostitute and asks "what’s the worst joke you ever heard?" She replies "probably this one

1+1= 69

What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

A man who was not blind, but could not see, walks around a metal bar, and proceeds to the bar, where he walks into the door without opening it first

how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

What do you call a man who's arms have been amputated? It doesn't matter, he won't be able to pick up the phone.

Why did the sixteen year old girl get an abortion? She didn't want the responsibility of raising a child

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

What do you call a black guy who is a lifeguard An African American male who puts his safety before others

What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

What did the young boy get his Father for Father's Day? A bouquet of flowers for his grave stone.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...