Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

Why did the white kid tear up while watching a segment on slavery? He got something in his eye.

Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

You know how hitler wasn't accepted into the art school ? The teacher who didn't let him join was Jewish .

What is red, and bucket shaped? A red bucket.

Yo mommas so stupid, she got raped.

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

why did winnie the pooh have his head in the toilet,? it was clogged.

Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A fossil.

Q: Why couldn' the muslim eat pork? A: Because he had been raped and killed by a giant scorpion.

Why did the chicken cross the road? like most animals that wander onto the road, it was completely unaware that the road can be very dangerous. It didn't go onto the road on purpose, it simply treated the road as if it was just like the rest of the ground.

What's the cutest thing about a redhead? I know, I couldnt think of anything either

Boy 1: Hey do you want my last chewing gum? Boy 2: Yeah please! Boy 1: Same. The boy continues to eat the chewing gum and finishes his shit wandering why the boy walked into the same cubicle as him.

What was Billy for Halloween? A pirate

Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

What do u call a gay dinosaur? Dinosaurs don't exist

What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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