Not everyone with a mustache is a child molester, but not every child molester has a mustache.

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A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

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What page are you on The gay page.

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I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What the last thing that went through Osama's mind? A bullet

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Why did the little boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken

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Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

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- Why a black man can not jump? - Because he broken his leg.

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What happened when a saxophone hit Sally? She had a concussion.

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Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

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Knock knock Who's there Interrupting camel (Interrupt with nothing) Camels can't talk.

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Your'e probably not going to laugh at this joke, it wasn't made to be funny

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

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I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

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What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

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What did the young boy get for Christmas? All his brothers belongings because his brother died

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What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

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What did the cat say to the towel? Meow.

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Knock knock Who's there? Miley Cyrus Holy moly, please come in! Here's your Miley Cyrus CD you order online Thanks you Mr. Mail Man

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Why couldnt the woman wear her new necklace? She was decapitated

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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