Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's starting to get really hot in here." The other muffin says, "MUFFINS CAN TALK?!"

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, And I'm color blind, So I don't give a shit

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Why did the black man cross the road? Black people don't exist.

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Here's a joke for you, my life...

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a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

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How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

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I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

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planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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Why couldn't the Chinese women see... It's because she just got into a terrible car accident and suffered a rental detachment in both eyes. Follow up question, why was the Chinese women even allowed to drive?

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

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A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

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How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

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If an asian man is really angry with a jewish man named gabriel what does he say? Gabriel I am angry with you

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A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

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This winter: "The seal is broken, as the spirits of hell go across the world, I can help you find them Clint! But only you can prevent them from killing your family!" "I will do whatever I must!" "Be careful, you can only see them with medication sample X, and destroy them with the super addictive Meladocs 5" "HOW DO I KILL THEM! I CANNOT HANDLE MORE MELADOCS 5! ITS ADDICTIVE AS HELL!" "Only you can save us Clint, only you can do this until their world malfunctions saving us all, but killing you in the process!" "I WILL... I CAN!... UGH... HOW MUCH LONGEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" THE PACKMAN: THE MOVIE.

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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