What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

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I was playing Black Ops online, my wife turned it off in the middle of the game....I killed her

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How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

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A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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If you play a Justin Bieber album backwards, I swear you can hear satanic messages... but even worse, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Bieber.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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Your mamas so stupid, her IQ is lower than the average person of her age group.

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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Did you hear about the little girl who got a bike for her birthday? Shes dying of Terminal Cancer

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why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q. Why did Justin Beiber fall off the ladder? A. He was trying to reach puberty

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Why did the handicap man scream for help? Because he fell out of his wheel chair

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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Patrick: My name is 24. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick, you know whats worse than 24? Patrick: What? Spongebob: 911.

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Whats the worst way to find out your married. Hungover

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Two Black Males walk into a bar. A white old lady leaves cautiously. Everyone else stays and has a great time with them as they are actually two very good guys, and funny too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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