Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem about Red rosses and blue violets

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What do you get when you stand a blonde on her head? A: HORSE DICK

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What`s 3 times as worse than a war? 3 wars

thumb_up thumb_down +7

roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

On Friday the 13th,I had one of those dreams of when you go to school in your underwear. I then realised it wasn't a dream.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did sally drown cause she was black

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +121

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the jobless man get for Christmas? Fired...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: What's your favorite song? A: Not one in particular. I like all kinds of music.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a man floating in a pool with his arms chopped off? A murder victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There were two elephants in a bathtub. One elephant says, "Hey, could you pass the soap." The other replies, "No soap, radio."

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call it when you mix a raccoon with an 18-wheeler? A bloody mess on the highway. That smells like cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops