How many dead babies can you fit in a drawer? 10 25* *if you use a blender

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''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

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What's flying and eats rocks? A flying rock eater

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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A black man walks into a bar and treated with equal care

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Why did I get raped

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The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

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the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

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Hey guya im a female stripper and if you want to have some fun call me 8633972535 thanks. -Tyler

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Got milk? No.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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whats better then 10 babies nailed to 1 tree... 1 baby nailed to 10 trees!

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

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Why can't the T-rex clap? Because it's extinct

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What did the Holocaust survivor say when asked about their memories in the deathcamps? A: I'd rather not think about it.

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When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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