If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

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A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas. Nothing. He was Jewish.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

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Woman's Rights

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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Why did Margret eat the banana? She was hungry.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

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If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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What"s the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

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what did you call a downer in the medieval times? spazalot

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

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a man walks into the bar and say, OUCH!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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