Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple

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You wanna know the funniest joke ever? Justin bieber

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

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Yo momma's so fat that when she went to Seaworld and a whale saw her, looked away, and continued on with its daily life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican are on a boat, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Feeling a bit hot due to the above average temperature of an early april afternoon, the white guy and the mexican strip down to enjoy a refreshing dip in the water a few feet from the boat. The black guy, feeling a bit left-out and perhaps even envious at the apparent fun of the other two, speaks up "Hey fellas, do you think one of you could come sit in the boat so it doesn't float away so that maybe I can enjoy the water too?" Hearing this, the white guy and the mexican look at each other utterly astonished. Grasping for a rebuttal, the white guy gathers some courage and says "Do you really think that's a good idea?... You JUST finished your sandwich."

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so the weather's nice...

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Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

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A father was driving with his son. The Son asked " have you been in a car accident in the past 10 years"? The father replys " did you know you HAD 4 siblings"?

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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A man driving through a thunderstorm said, "look, it's rain, dear." His wife, being a reindeer, took offense to that statement.

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Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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The WNBA.

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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A girl talks to her boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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What's the difference between a smashed watermelon and a dead black person? One is a minor slip of the hands and the other is a fatal accident involving a human being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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