What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's white and very boney? A bone

thumb_up thumb_down +73

k

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A bear walks into a bar. There were 4 fatalities and 3 were taken to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

thumb_up thumb_down +29

You wanna hear a touching story? Once a pon a time you died. The end. (all anti jokes posted by me will be adressed with -blarg)

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A lady goes into the store to buy potatoes. Then she eats them.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why do people just recycle the same jokes over and over are you that desperate for some f*cking attention? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it dinosaur.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. It should only take one person to demonstrate such a simple task, regardless of their hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops