The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

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Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

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How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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knock knock whos there boo boo who why are you sad my wife has cancer

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Certainly not Sally

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

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What's the difference between above job and below job? Below job sucks

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Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

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womens rights.

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Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? Because he was dead.

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Why was Timmy dirty? Because he was buried

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why are the inside of a black mans hand white? cotton residue

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What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

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How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a double whiskey. The bar man says "what's with the long face"? The horse replies "My wife left me, took the kids with her, took everything, I'm devastated"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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