a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

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Chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn, He calls someone to do it for him and then he pays them a great deal of money considering he has a large lawn.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

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God is religiously proven to be real

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What's worse than a murderer? Two murderers.

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PEN15 IF U R SMART U WILL UNDERSTAND THIS

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and strangled the child.

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Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

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Why was ticklish Tom not ticklish anymore? A: he got hit by a train

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

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They should introduce a filtering system on here. That way any repeated jokes, or idiots taking up a page with a copy and paste routine, could be simply erased by those who are bored with them or find them irritating. [L]

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and catch them on fire.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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A: Knock, knock A: Knock, knock A: Um, knock, knock! B: Sorry, I was pretending that I wasn't home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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