Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

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Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? -You can research and find several similarities and differences, but I will not go into detail about them.

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You are on a street. there are 4 houses, a red one, a blue one, a green one, and a white one. The red man lives in the red house, the blue man lives in the blue house. the green man lives in the green house. Who lives in the white house? The president

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Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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what do you call a mexican baptism? a bean dip

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This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

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What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

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Why can't Michael Jackson swim? Because he is dead.

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A traveling salesman breaks down on a rainy night, but spies a farm house. he knocks on the door and the farmer answers. the salesman asks if he can spend the night. the farmer says "sure, but i gotta warn you, i don't have any daughters."

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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Why can't women play poker? Because they're freaking stupid!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't reply because horses don't speak. However, he is confused and scared by the unfamiliar surroundings. Trying to escape, the horse breaks his leg. The horse must be put down.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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What is white, sticky and tastes great? Milk

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a train? Because she was blind, deaf, and most likely uneducated in the field of train conduction.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

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A man walks out of his house and sees a......BIRD!!!

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... I guess no ones home.

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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