How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

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Why did the Japanese man commit suicide? He was terminally ill and decided it was his time to go

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Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

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What's the difference between a dog and a urologist? A dog is a domesticated canine, and a urologist studies urine.

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets Wet.

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knock knock Who's there? Someone who wants to save you from the shitty dinner your lazy wife made.

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET BEYOND THE SIXTH SENSE! 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :(

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What happens when you walk by two black men? You walk by two black men.

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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My mother forgot to make me a sandwich today.

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Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

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Whoa! A talking carrot!

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Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

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How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

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What is the difference between a girl and a boy? Well, a girl has two x-chromosones but a boy has and X and a Y chromosone.

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A man walks up to you and asks you:"What's funnier than a dead baby?" and then smiles, you then proceed to frown and tell him he needs to seek help. The next day you see his face on your TV

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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