Why is French Fries not a Chinese Food? Answer: Because the Chinese people will get offended.

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman went in a hot air balloon and had a magical afternoon that none of them will ever forget, except the Scotsman because he fell out during take off and is now in a coma.

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the WNBA

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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Who do u talk to when everyone is ignoring you? Nobody will talk to you so what's the point?

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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I can't hear music. I am a sentence.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

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What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

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why don't you make like a tree. and get out of here

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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What do you call a man who is dirty, and is searching through a pile of garbage? A man who threw out his divorce papers.

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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What's the difference a black person and a park bench? A park bench is a object and a black person is human.

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Hot Lady: What do you do for a living? Guy: Phosphorus, Oxygen, and Radon. Hot Lady: So you are a chemist? Guy: Think again! Think about Acronyms... Hot Lady: OPRa, so Opera correct? Guy: (Obviously talking to a Blonde) P, O, Rn Hot Lady: So, you are a chemistry teacher! Guy: (Sighs to himself thinking how PORn relates to chemistry. Which it does in biochemistry, but he does not know that).

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What do you call a man hit by a bus? Dead

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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Another cat joke. You gotta be kitten me.

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kill yourself....with a cigarette

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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