Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

who is gay wit mon james cornish

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's funnier than a joke book? 2 joke books.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So a man walks into a bar, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops