What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down -16

when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down

In the movie Sherlock holms, why is Sherlock Holms gay?? --------------Because he is chasing "blackwood"

thumb_up thumb_down

My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

thumb_up thumb_down -34

CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +48

your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

If I just post the same thing someone else posted and say it was mine, I'm gonna be really popular because everyone is too dumb to realize it's not my original work of genius.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

where wally? wallys a myth.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +25

If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

poopy is poopy

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops