What's 6 + 9? 15.

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Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

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How much hard work does it take to become a man? To get to the other side!

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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Where did the AIDS victim go on vacation? To the hospital.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

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There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

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On a scale of 1 to Osama Bin Laden, how good is your hiding spot? Rhetorical question. Osama Bin Laden is dead now.

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Once a upon of time, there was 7 dwarfs. Their names are Sleepy, Stupid, Sexy, Shithead, Sonovabitch, Shutup, and Simon. They are a street gang called the 7 dwarfs and was notorious for causing trouble. All the dwarfs got away from the police except for Simon, because that was his real name.

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whats the difference between you're mom and you're dad none there both the same

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Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar, he doesn't let a minor disablity distract him from having a good time.

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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Why was Sally gone for her father's birthday? She went on a camping trip with her friends. Sally's friends were brutally murdered and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper cut off her arms and legs and left her in the middle of a suburban intersection late at night. The autopsy revealed that Sally died from blood loss from losing her limbs. It also revealed that she had contracted a fast growing tumor in her brain which would have most likely killed her within days of the murder anyway. Her family was living in the country illegally so her DNA did not reveal a computer file of her person. Her parents were not informed of her death for years because of this. When it was determined that the victim was the parents' daughter they were arrested for living in the country illegally and were not able to have a funeral.

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#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

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What did casino dealer say to the other? Every day I'm shuffling.

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get slaughtered.

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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