Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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What looks like donuts but stinks of shit. Sean Big Macs socks

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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A flock of ostriches run into a mine field

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A cat walks into a Chinese restaurant. It is then asked to leave.

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Why did the man look up into the sky? carrot cake

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

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What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Boss: Do you know what lazy means? Employer: Yes, adopting a child.

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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The Labour Party.

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A bus crashes and everybody dies.

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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How many retarded mexicans can you fit in a smart car? Two.

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Why did the man stop eating? Because he took an arrow to the knee.

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What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

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What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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