What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: What's the worst part about being a black Jew? A: You have to sit at the back of the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

New mission: refuse this mission

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A little boy who was sleeping in his parent's bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't. He said nothing, and the incident troubled him deeply for many years.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why are you reading this? You are bored out of your mind and don't want to do you're homework. and now that you read this, you will realize what you're doing and will now get back to work.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

thumb_up thumb_down -83

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Asshole huh? Dont give me any ideas. Again you are not high on weed are you? Then that's really bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A Priest and a young child walk into a dark alley.... It leads to a church and he talks to the young boy about God

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worst than the Holocaust? No Wi-Fi

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Do you know what's funny about the holocaust? Nothing, it was an unspeakably evil act by a deranged man who should never have been given the power to command a nation

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Why couldn't sally go on the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What do you call a robot in a concert? A: Electric fan

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops