why did joe drown ? he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

save water shower with friends

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between a jew and pizza? A Jew is human and pizza is food.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man who was not blind, but could not see, walks around a metal bar, and proceeds to the bar, where he walks into the door without opening it first

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A guy walks into a bar. The universe instantly shatters around him under the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through the void amongst the shards of his broken reality. This is the worst joke ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between Obama and a monkey? They are two different species, so thus they are very different.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse then the quote "Do it, hit her!" The quote "Do it, Hitler!"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A white,mexican and asian man are walking together on the beach. They find a genie lamp and the genie says"since there are 3 of u u each get one wish" the black man says " i wish that all the mexicans would go back to mexico. " the asian man says " i wish all the asians would go back to asia" and the white man says " wait so the mexicans and asians arent in america right?" the genie said "that is correct!" the white man says " oh ok ill just taqke a coke then!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats worse then falling out of a tree? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops