Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

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Whats the difference between a fire hydrant and the color green? They're both green. Except the fire hydrant.

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

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Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

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how did the asian man get on the internet? by opening his internet browser just like everyone else

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Q: who is the worst person to ever post "jokes" on anti-joke.com? A: ryan valee

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when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

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Why didn't the disabled kid cross the road? He didn't make it.

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?

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lebron

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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three jews walk into a bar. then a bear mauls them.

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He grew tired of hearing the most over-used joke set up in recorded history.

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What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

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How do you get a girl out of a tree? You throw a refrigirator at her.

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Q: why does the fire breather hate his job A: his parents were burned to death MR

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None, it would be ridiculous to even try to fit one in an ashtray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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