What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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Where does a hobo live? A box.

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Pickle!

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what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

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What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple that has just been brutally murdered. If you see this, you should probably notify the local police so that they may investigate the situiation.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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Women's sports.

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Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

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Whats the diffrence between a white and a black guy? one of them is black

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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What's the difference between a rhino and a house cat? They look way different.

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womans rights...

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a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

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Why did the Romans conquer everyone? They were power-hungry.

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because Acl tear stepped on a spit.

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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