how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Q: Why didn't the little boy get his bike for christmas? A: He died from cancer

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what did the blond do when her house was on fire? she called the fire department, because that would be the correct thing to do in such a situation.

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knock knock who's th...AIDS.....

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Ha! You're so gay that I respect the sexuality you were born with and I feel completely comfortable with, and happy for, you and your preferences.

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I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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Q: What did the German say to the Jew? A: Guten Tag.

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Who is Jonathan Ezell He is Jonathan Ezell

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OHIO DRIVERS.......THAT IS ALL......

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

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guys cmon dont make fun about abbie make fun of josh brown WHAT A NOOB

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Whats sad about a black women killing herself? She was my mother

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

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Why did everyone at school think that Susan was so hot? They set her on fire.

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What do you call a tree on fire? A burning tree.

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It's like they always say, you get what you pay for. Unless your a woman, then you get what other men pay for.

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Dear 6, Please stop hitting on me, I heard you've done some pretty dirty stuff with 9. Sincerely, 7

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There once was an old lady who lived in shoe. She had so many children, her uterus fell out.

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So a disabled man walks into a bar...

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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why did josh pick up the quarter because he's a jew

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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