What's long hard and black A drain pipe

thumb_up thumb_down -8

In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Yo momma is so stupid that the only test she passed was the mental retardation test.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

roses ar red vilots ar blue i have hiv

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Knock Knock! Who's there? ....Mrs Murray silently returned to her armchair, a single tear rolling down her weathered cheek. Her lonely existence deepened, as she realised the gang of boys had fooled her again.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other boy fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third boy fall out of the tree? Prepressure

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Ill never forget the last phone conversation i had with my Jewish friend before he died due to the 9/11 incident. Friend:owejpq3jhp3qjopiqwejhriopjhaiophfioashiohwih13ioh3f2893hoiqehefioahfioahisdpahdfajdfopasjiopdfajdfopsajradalkdjakldja;hdfkl;adhlpa;dhfakl;dhkladhkadhlkhdjklahdjkgsdjkgbdqwgy3bi3grqbhgjkasjkdkasjdgjkadgskajgdkajdsgjkasgdad

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A gentleman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The gentleman replys that he would like a beer. After the bartender fulfils the gentleman's order, the gentleman drinks his beer and enjoys it.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink. He reaches into his back pocket, but cannot find his wallet. The man was pick pocketed by a skilled thief on his walk to the bar. The man quickly makes calls to cancel his credit cards and minimize the financial loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

thumb_up thumb_down -30

On Tuesday mornings at 7:32 a.m., what is the square root of 31? I don't know, because it would be an irrational number of which is not possible to calculate without the aid of a calculator. However, the date and time would not affect the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down

A horse didn't walk into a bar. The door wasn't big enough

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats the difference between a mexican and an elevator? An elevator can raise a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

thumb_up thumb_down -7

who is really lanky? james cornish

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Everybody love food when they are hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the woman say when she lost her purse? Where's my purse?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A girl asks a guy are you finish. The guy says no I'm British.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops