Billy Corgan: The world is a vampire! Me: No it's not. The world is a mass of mineral compounds that floats in space approximately 93,020,000 miles from the sun. It is not, in fact, a vampire.

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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What did the cashier say to the blonde? That will be $5.39, would you like a receipt?

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why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

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Womens rights.

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How did sarah break her arm? She was in a tragic car accident. An ambulance arrived and quickly rushed her to the hospital where she was cared for by medical professionals.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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I pooped.

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Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

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Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

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what did the penis say to the vagina? SMACK SMACK SMACK

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jelly ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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What do you say on a date with Uma Thurman? Hey Uma, pass the salt.

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what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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What was even more disgusting than the holocaust? Lucy's new shoes.

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Care to fill in some of the etc etc`s for me? Its not like we are complete strangers one to another either, you and I I mean, I feel pretty secure around you.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman gets off the bus and files a complaint with the public transit system and the driver loses his job.

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What is funnier than 9 black fellas dead in a trashbin? 1 black fella dead in 9 trashbins.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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