How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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