How do you get a one armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

How many pieces of bling does it take to ruin a rap song? Just Two Chainz

What's worse than finding a worm in your pork? Finding half of a worm, because the worm you just ate is going to live in your stomach, breed, then come out your butt. Or the Apocalypse.

a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

what do gay people eat?? food

What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

A man goes to the potty.

Do you know whats not funny black jokes that arent racist. You belendo!!!

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot.

Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

Ju... Just why?

Why did the plane crash? There was a horrible mechanical error that caused the main engines to fail.

What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

a man walks into a desert Obama is there to greet him and they have a nice chicken dinner

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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