what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

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q: why do mens testicles hang? a: so woman can kick us in em

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What's worse than AIDS? Not getting your sandwich.

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Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

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Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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I dont hate you Lets just say if you were on fire and i had water id drink it

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There was a joke, one sentance, and no punchline.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Bob Hi bob, come inside. And next time just use the doorbell

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what do a plane and a mouse have in common? nothing

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Past, Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense...

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Penis. (Note: if you get this you have a dirty ass)

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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Yo mamma so black that u can't see her eyebrows

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A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Drowning.

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What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't get a high paying job and had to settle for working full time at McDonalds, just to get your family through the week.

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My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

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What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

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In this case, its black operations, but simply in the term that its a well secret something, its not a lets say, organization that breaks the law, kidnaps listens to phones uses wires, which the FBI does. And when I mean I am a employee, I might have spoken a bit over my head here (sorry, lightheaded), you could well, simply put, I am something between a delivery boy and a mercenary, not the kind that shoots and kills (my shape sucks anyways), but rather the kind that "facilitates" communications between organizations... Thats all I can say without breaking laws that technically do not exist.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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