Why can't Mich Jackson draw a perfect circle? Because he's dead.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

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there are 2 black guys and a spanish guy in a car. who is driving? a sober, US citizen over the age of 16

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Where was Susy after the bombing? Everywhere.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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Why did the mexican jump when he heard police sirens? The sirens where very lound and abrupt. Therefore startling this mexican man.

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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how do you make old people hate eachother? put them in a night time psychology class

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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Still Carrying Heavy Pet Food? That sucks

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" the bartender asks. The horse kills everyone in the bar and stampedes the other horses into town.

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a man paints himself yello shrinks himself and walks into a baber shop then he relizes that the sizers are yello so he gets cut up into shreds and dies. THE END!

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Why did the blonde kid that was really gay He got a bad case of HIV

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Shaving your balls is just plain nuts!

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What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

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ERROR 3045: This joke has gone bankrupt and Is laying in the hospital//:: THE CAUSE: OBAMA CARE

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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