There was a cat, an astronaut and a nun. The cat was sleeping, the astronaut was floating, and the nun was praying. There was a singer, a dancer and an actor. The singer was singing, the dancer was dancing, and the actor was acting.

whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

what is 6.9? a good thing ruined by a period

old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

An underage man walks into a bar. He then was shot and kicked out of the bar. An overage person found the body. What age is he? Normal Age

Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

hi patrick

Why did the women leave the kitchen? She didn't, women belong in the kitchen.

Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

What is blue and looks like a bucket? A blue bucket

your mom is so poor that now your family is at risk of losing there home

If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

A convict is ripping out stop signs .. and a police comes out of no where and screams "What are you doing?!" The guys says Ripping up stop signs..

A: Do you like it B: No

Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

BBW BABY IS THE BEST BETTER THAN THE REST WELL EXCEPT MILF BABY. SUBSCRIBE TO BigHDGuns

Enchilada

Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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