A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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What's that smell? Your feces droping in the toilet

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What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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What do you call a black man? A person

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A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

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Why so serious ?

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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What does andy and burger king have in common? Nothing, thats why she is now banging josh!

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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what is funnier than 24.....?????? 69. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE ME AND YOUR MAMA

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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a blind guy walks past a fish market and exlaims.. "it smells like a fish market"

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Pizza's don't scream when there in then oven.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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