What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter it's not going to come to you anyway.

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What should'nt you say to a rape victim. Rape.

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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What did the kind hearted wolf do when he saw the small, helpless, fluffy bunny? He ate it.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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An anorexic women walks into McDonalds

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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A black guy and a white guy jump out of a tree, who hits the ground first? They both hit at the same time while sustaining minor injuries.

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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What did the teenage girl get for her birthday? Pregnant.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

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A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

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what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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