There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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Wanna hear a joke? Obamacare.

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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How did the blond become a pilot? By attending flight school, graduating, applying to an airline to which she subsequently was hired to, taking frequent training courses, and beginning work.

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What do you call a fridge? Dorothy.

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go stand in a mirror look at your face that is the joke. 8- now go tell someone you will tell them a joke and do that to them this will be a fast spreading joke. jkjk this joke is so bad everybody give this alot of bad thums. ha ha i do not care

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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Why was the redneck so racist? Because he had a severe dislike for the black community.

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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A couple picks up a hitch-hiker with an ax on the side of the road. The hitch-hiker says "Thank you for the ride."

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

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RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY 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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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rose are red so is u want to know why because i shot her

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Ubisoft presents a game by ubisoft

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What did the Mexican say to the Black guy? Nice to meet you Mr. President. I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Los Angeles.

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What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

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A man walks into a bar Ouch He broke his penis So he ate it Then he saw a little boy They shaved their pubic hair together He raped the little boy He walked into another bar Double ouch

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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