Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

Why was timmy no longer being bullied at school? The rope said it all! Bitch Died HA

Peas

Why did the irishman go to the bar? because he was a designated driver and was picking up his friend.

What's worse than hell? I would say the Holocaust, but they're both the same for the Jews.

Kenneth kaniff takes his hat off then he meets cosmic panda with kevin the zebra because chuck norris ate a chili pepper.

Two black guys walk into a bank They work there.

Why are there so many black men in the NBA? Because they trained hard and practiced regularly to get there..

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

What's clear and wet?? Water (I think)

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch... The bartender calls the police as the man is arrested as piracy an act of robbery or criminal violence.

Hey, you know what sucks about being blind? You can see.

Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

Where can you find the best black man soup? I don't know. Cannibilism is no longer socially acceptable.

What's the difference between people with aids and people with cancer? People with cancer can get into heaven

Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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