What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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Why did the girl go over her texting limit? She had a hot boyfriend.

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why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

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Why was the human stronger than the dog? Because the dog had four legs and a mouth and a human has 2 legs, 2 arms, and is taller. Therefore, the human has more capabilites than the dog.

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What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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What Do You Call A Japanese Man Humming Classicle Music While Removing Toy Soldiors From His Ear With His Foot Jumping Up And Down On A Large Elephant Strutting About The Universe? Strange.

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Why was the black man a victim of racial prejudice? because he was black

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"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

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Whats plastic and phonie a phone

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Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

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how many blondies were at the mall? none they were too busy trying to find the sun.

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A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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Gordon Brown smiles.

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? none, you can't see them in the dark. Vincent

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

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Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

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#IsaiahAfterAD&B

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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