What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

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I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

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Your mother is so fat........... that she is morbidly obese and is at severe risk for diabetes and other weight related diseases.

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WHAT THE BABIES?!

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What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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Knock Knock I'm sorry but the new don't ask don't tell laws require me to not answer but do feel free to come in for some tea.

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Q: why are black people so much darker than white people? A: genetics.

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Since when is it any of your business? Cant we live in a world where chickens can cross the road freely without having there motives questioned?

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Wrong. What doesn't kill you could leave you in a parapledgic state.

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How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

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Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

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What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

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im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

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Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

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Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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