What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

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You were born.

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What's worse then 10 babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

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What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

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belly button

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

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what is the germans word for fat dick what is very fat hairy dick

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One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

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A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

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How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first, so you can see its expression. How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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What is the best thing in the world? The opposite of the worst thing in the world.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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what do u get when you cross a monkey, a sock and wheels? A: a sock monkey. I was kidding about the wheels

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Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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Q:Why did the bunny run up the hill? A:Because he can't run under it.

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Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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Your mom's so fat, I tried to rape her but couldn't find her p**** and gave up. Instead I decided to take her out to dinner. We enjoyed a lovely meal and I spent the rest of the night trimming her fat with a vegetable peeler while she screamed and bled all over the floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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