What is in your backyard and is stalking you? Corn

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

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Itookasipasoda

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What happened to boy who fell down the stairs? He died. What happened to the girl who fell down the same stairs? The boy who fell down the stairs hit her down the stairs too and they both died What happened to the man fell down these very same stairs? He got peer pressure and committed suicide.

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Q: what do you call a muslim driving a plane? I don't know A: 9/11

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

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Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 took sexual advantage of 9.

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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Whats Green and has wheels? Grass, I was kidding about the wheels.

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Want to get shot? Go to Virginia Tech. Too Soon?

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What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

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whats worse than a dog biting you? two dogs biting you whats worse than that? the Holocaust whats worse than that three dog bites and one of them happens to have rabies

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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a little girl gets raped

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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Why was the blonde sent to prison? Well there could be a number of reasons, but I for one do not know this specific blonde so I can not help you.

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A American seeking into mexico

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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