A guy walks into a bar and falls.

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what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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were at work systems r down

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What happened when the lawyer pissed all over the judge? He was thrown off the case, causing him to go home, rape his wife, and put a bullet into his child's head.

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what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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I'm gay. Great me too.

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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Slavery lol

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At least now we know, that most people are not like that, and with that sentence, my desire to see humanity as a whole happy, is dead. Thank you, you have made me realize that for each and every thing positive I have found within myself, I believed that I was simply learning more about how to be an average human being. I admire you, yet as painful it feels not to deny the truth, much of what I admire within you, reminds me of my self. Share that money with me, but as a gift, not as a contract, as a friend, not as someone buying me out, because my values might not be much, but for now, its what remains of the world I sought to create. Let us speak some other time, It was nice meeting you again Red, you always dig your way into my core, where I discover that I am stuck in life because I still sad deep inside, and then you take some of that sadness away.

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How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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I need a way to meet local babes and get ripped in 4 weeks. Shame there aren't any popularly advertised methods of doing that around here...

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What does a man and an orange have in common? Nothing.

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A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

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If yesterday was friday, today is saturday, what day is it tomorrow? sunday

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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A man walks through a doorway but there was a door there so he got injured

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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Cows go moo.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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What a person such as you would say. Anyway, did you notice how I started by emulating your way of typing, spelling, spacing and so on?

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because dead people cannot go to balls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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