- Anti Joke

A man rode into town on Friday and stayed a while and then left on Friday how did he manage this?

I have aids

Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

hi im paul!

Carrot fingers

What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

IMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM a beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee immmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmiiiiooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmoooooooooooodfssgihsfdiug

what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Wieners? A: Nothing. your last name is a male sex organ

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interupting doc- You have aids.

Knock Knock no answer Knock Knock Genevieve enters the house with curiosity and is later charged with Breaking and Entering

What's red, fast, and flies through the air? A tomato in a plane.

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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