Billy had a dream. He saw himself becoming rich and famous. He drove an expensive car and lived in a mansion. His career reached its peak and he was accused by the media of having numerous sexual relations and drug problems. After 3 years of rehab he made an excellent comeback tour in which his name made it back onto the front pages and his respect regained. In his later years, he died of an accidental drug overdose and his loyal fans pay tribute to him every year. But this will never happen to Billy. Billy is a cactus.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are red, Shrubs are red, Trees are red, Holy shit my garden's on fire!

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Q:Where does a woman work at if she has 1 leg? A: IHOP!!! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you get if you put a horse in a blender? Dinner

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is chad so gay? Its his choice.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

four nazis are walking towards this jew. as soon as the first nazi came in arms reach of the jew he and his friends started to maliciously hug the jew.......................................and then 20 years later they killed his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

gays

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the man do after his wife died? He farted.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What do you call a muslim flying a plane> .....a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Cum on guys....gay jokes are mean

thumb_up thumb_down -33

a jew walked into a bar-mitzvah

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A group of teenage boys put a flaming bag of dog feces on Old Man Howard's doorstep. He came out and demanded that they stop such behavior at once. They did, and the day went on normally.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Dan was friends with Dick. Dick likes to give massages to Dan. Dan's favorite is Dickie's special mixture. He will remember Dick, his favorite personal assisatant for life. CREEPER

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats the difference between G. Bush and a rock? Bush (bull)shits and rock doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

thumb_up thumb_down -121

Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the chicken jump down the nest after laying eggs without flying? Because there was no ladder!

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops