Where would you find a dog with one leg? Possibly in a vet's surgery, or in an animal rescue home or being cared for by a loving owner.

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

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What do you do when a blond ask you a question? Answer politely and thank her for her wonderful question.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it.

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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why did tyler detweiler walk across the street? he didnt he has ceribral palsey

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Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

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What did the squirrel say to the other squirrel? Squirrels can't talk.

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Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

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A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

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roses are red vioets are blue i have chlamydia now so do you....

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I know you are but what am I? A queer.

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How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Prior to this incident he was being chased by a psychopathec killer who had just murdered his family. As he was escaping on his bike, the murder's lookout who was holding a shotgun, swung the butt end of the gun, causing severe brain damage and eventually death to the escaping boy, also causing him to topple over on his bycicle.

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Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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