What has two legs and bleeds alot? Half a cat!

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

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Q:When a terrorist attack happened what did the woman with the 1 leg say? A: HOP for your lives!!!!

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

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why did the asain hate his life he didn't he was living a good life with large amounts of money with a very hot wife

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Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? He's blind. Also he is dead.

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Why did Billy fall of his bike HE HAD NO BIKE

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

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Patrick is gay

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Your momma is so dumb, that when she took the IQ test her scores were considerably lower then average.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy? -the bucket.

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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