Knock Knock. Whose there? ..............

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

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im black

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69

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

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A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles roll ed into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’ The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed.. ‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn. Take care of the golf balls first—-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled.... And than he shove all the items up his ass

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Q: What did Yoda do at the end of star wars when he lost his light saber? A: He asked the prop guy if he had any more and he happened to have another and they went on with making the great film many still love today.

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Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. They both promptly drowned.

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

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roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

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a man walks into a desert Obama is there to greet him and they have a nice chicken dinner

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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