A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

On the dora show when they asked where the Monster was why did the arrow point left instead of right?? Because it was scared

what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

Why did the black man get arrested? He sold cocaine.

why is the earth mad at the moon? cause the moon mooned the earth

Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

whats hairy and fat? I DONT KNOW YOU TELL ME RETARD

What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

You have a birthday party and invite 5 celebrities: Britney spears, Lady Gaga, Hulk Hogan, Barack Obama, and Oprah. Meanwhile, there is a cow in a nearby pasture pooping.

What do you call 20 Investment Bankers buried to their necks in sand? A team building exercise at the beach sponsored by an Investment Bank.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

Q. How many people use MySpace? A. Pfft who uses MySpace

What do you call 55,000 clowns exiting a small car? Fiction.

Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

roses are blue violets, are orange, i am color blind

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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