Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

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what do snozberries taste like? Lama

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A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

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shut up iggy

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

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I was going to write about anti-climaxes but then I didn't.

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Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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A man looks in his toilet and gazes in fear of the fact that there is blood on his bowel movement. He has colitis

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

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Why do black people log onto blackpeoplemeet.com? To meet black people.

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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what's funnier than the holocaust? 2 holocausts and 9/11

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

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Luckily Captain America was able to rescue Hitler just before he was trapped in the ice for many years... Thanks to his brave efforts the war continued many more years! Captain America under ice: Why do I get the feeling I did something wrong? Hmm... 30 years later Cap: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNNNNN!!!!!! Moral: On ice, tickets sold out... no clothing required, ladies only, None under 16!

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Yo mama so fat... Her doctor told her she's morbidly obese and she has 2 years to live if she doesn't change her eating habits and exercise regularily.

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What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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