How did sarah break her arm? She was in a tragic car accident. An ambulance arrived and quickly rushed her to the hospital where she was cared for by medical professionals.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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potatoes

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

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Why did the black man skip every other step on the stairs? Because he had long legs and it was faster.

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One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

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How do you make a burns victim cry? You show them a mirror.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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I used to write letters to Black people, then I got an arrow to the knee.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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It's long!

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One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

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What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

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Dani Barton is a stupid GIRL

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Death

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Q:What did Sandy say to Spongebob? A:Nothing, They were both crushed by the water pressure of being on the bottom of the ocean.

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14 people jump in a hole about 25 ft deep. they can't climb out because it is a straight vertical drop.

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Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

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whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

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Why are hookers and babies so alike? You can have sex with both.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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