Do you know the muffin man? No

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Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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A mentally disabled person asked a tree, "Are you a tree?" the tree didn't say anything because it can not speak.

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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What does a black car thief do with a stolen car? Drive it

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How are baseball and the holocaust similar? They're both games, except for the holocaust

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A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four in the seats, twenty six in the ash tray, and thirty in the gas chamber.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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Those who believe that Sarah Palin is dumb are living in some fantasyland. She could damn well speak as much as anyone else!

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

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What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips? Neither one has vanilla ice cream in it except for both of them.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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Why did Timmy pass his chemistry exam? Because he studied.

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What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? No Neither did she

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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