Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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A man makes a sandwich.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? because i shot it.

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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What did the man from Hiroshima see when he looked up at the sky on August 6th, 1945? Some birds.

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Why was the woman blind? Because she couldn't see

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how did the jewish man die He had a fatal hard attack

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How do you shock thomas eddison? Attatch his kite to his balls.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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What do you call 10 Asians playing basketball? A group of friends hanging out and having a good time.

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If life gives you melons you're dyslexic.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried. The chicken was run over by a distracted driver. The chicken turned out to be Farmer Brendan's prized egg hen who wandered away. The hen provided a large portion of Brendan's income and living. The farmer, deprived of his vital income source, was forced to sell his farm and live on the city streets.

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roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

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Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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