Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"

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Why did the purse kill a circus yeast? Secks

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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What kind of bread makes pickles? Dill Dough

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the little boy? May God be with you.

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Q:Whats worse than a worm in apple? A:The Holocaust. Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Were both lawyers! :D Q: What happens when you throw a purple rock in to a green river? A: It splashes

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

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What's green, brown, red, and is covered with crumbs in a ditch on the side of the road? A girl-scout who got hit by a car...

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Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

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why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

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What's worse than listening to a teacher talk? This joke.

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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A man walks into a bar. He is a diabetic and promptly goes into a coma after drinking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

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austins gay lolololol

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what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

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Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

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Q: What's the Difference between Judaism and Catholicism? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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