- Anti Joke

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

Knock Knock Who's There? A rapist

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Daisies are yellow Why am I naming flower colours?

when life throws you lemons your an idiot because it wont

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

What do you call a barrel full of monkeys? A game, you idiot.

whats black and white and red all over? this joke.

Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

how do you know when you're a man? massive erection.

Why do Christians believe in God? Because he is real.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasnt due to the fact that numbers have no feeling.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

Yo mama so fat when she looked at the scale it said to be continued

what'd one jew say to the other jew? i cant eat this its ham. (sounds better when said with disappointed jew voice)

What is worse then a worm in your apple? 2 worms in your apple.

Why did the police officer pull over a black guy? He was going over the appropriate speed limit for that area.

Hey i just met you. and this is crazy. I sent you my pubes in an envelope.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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