A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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What did the hispanic man say to the black man? I don't know, if I was listening to their conversation, the would be creepy.

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What's black can run really fast and jump really high? A panther

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Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

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A priest walks past a mailbox with the number 666 on it. Nothing happens, because it is an ordinary mailbox.

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A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

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How do you blind an Asian? Rip out his eyeballs.

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i have a white dog on my and have the strangest boner

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Top Gear USA

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What do you call a dog that's having a stroke? An emergency animal hospital.

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Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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This is an anti joke

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A black man owns his own night club. He tells the white man to look out for his night club. The white man bangs his head. The black man says, I told you to look out, you have now bumped into my big club that I take out at night time.

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knock knock. who's there? ya ya who? dot com

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Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

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What's 8 inches long and makes my girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage

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Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people not make the mistakes he did

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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