What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When life gives you lemons... Be thankful you're not starving, a**hole.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

hahah i just thought of a funny joke!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -375

Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do u get when u mix a dinosaur and a lesbian? A-lick-alot-a-puss

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the boy with a crippled arm get for his birthday? A guitar.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Scumbag steve walks into his friend's dorm room, and finds out he has epilepsy. He then flicks the lights on and off really fast

thumb_up thumb_down -41

How do u know when someone is horny? look at there pants

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is worse than the Holocost? Keeping the Jews alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Finn Davidson is cool, no he's not, yes he is

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Please don't tell anybody about me, or I will be hunted down, taken from my family, and be objected to a life of cruel exploitation.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the difference between peanut butter andd jam! Jam is made from crushed fruit and gelatine while peanut butter is made from finely ground peanuts and is often sweetened with sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the black guy cross the road? His car was parked across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A priest and a rabbi walk into a strip club. They then realised that they are religious leaders and set an example for their respective religious communities and shouldn't be in a strip club and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

all muslims get the fuck out of britain you fucks

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops