what do u call a black man a black man

Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin get in the car.

How did the baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken

What do Connecticut school kids get at Christmas? Shot.

What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

My wife has terminal cancer.

What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

your so homosexual you go to a gay bar every couple of weeks so you get the social acceptance you need.

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

Ben Corbishley

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

why did the kid drop his toy? a dog was ripping out his throat

who looks like justin bieber and is really cool? george darling but i lied about him being cool.

How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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