Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

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when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

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im gonna sue mcdonalds i asked for a hamburger and it was a beef burger -_-

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"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

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What happens to the blond when she reaches the top of the stairs She falls down them

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knock knock. come in.

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"Billy Mays here!" No he's not. He's dead.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

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How old is your mom Dead

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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Q:what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? other person: What? A:how am i suppose to know I'm not a lawyer.

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like cows, Cows are cool

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What's worse than discovering a hornet's nest next to your house? Being raped.

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what do you call a man with no legs? disabled.

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what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

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"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

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What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards? A woman who learns her place.

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Why does Jordan Abu aita have a small pepe? Because he is black

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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