What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playhouse in her backyard? Well if you didn't, it was quite nice. I was her neighbor.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

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How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

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Knock knock Who's there Evan Evan who Evans erectile area is largo with Sarah plains pudding

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a convicted cannibalistic rapist.

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Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

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-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Amanda.

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Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

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Once upon a time, people died. It was happening all over the land. They didn't LIVE happily ever after... since they died. The end... for them.

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why did the ginger get made fun of? because he had red hair

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

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A sober Irish individual.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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why was Logan sad? he was raped by his daddy multiple times

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I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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