"If life was fair, I would have a girlfriend" - William Deane

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NOTICE: If you have noticed this notice then you will have noticed this notice is not worth being noticed

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The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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Barack Obama.

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Why did the man get a penis Becuse he was gay Add on He died

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What do you get when you mix a baby and a fork? An abortion.

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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There were two elephants in a bathtub. One elephant says, "Hey, could you pass the soap." The other replies, "No soap, radio."

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Where did suzie go for her Birthday? A van

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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What happens when you put Michael Jackson in a room full of little boys? The 3 year-old rotting corpse of Michael Jackson and a room full of traumatized little boys.

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Arrow to the Knee

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Why did Oliver fall? He shot himself.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Association of Dislexics.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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Why did the

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Are you going to just stand there and watch me burn for i am on fire? Well that is fine because the sensation feels so fantastic. You are going to just stand there and listen to me whine the night away. It is quite okie-dokie for I really love your art of lying! To be certain, I love it very much! I can not find myself telling you what really occurred, I can only explain to you the sensation i felt from this moment. For I have a dagger in my trachea. For the number of days where the do not's fell like the actually do's. I will be very happy :). But where are you trying to walk away from. Than she told me she was leaving. I said no you very certainly are not! Megan Lady-who-sleeps-with-many-men (aka Whore) Fox. We find ourselves back on the day we met...... etc etc, lot's of pissed off Rapper vs. the English language. Than more words fly out of the mouth of the woman that said she "just wanted a hit" than got slapped around the ear by her ex. It is a pointless song. Today's youth is hopeless. (just kidding i love Eminem stay infinite for life)

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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