Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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WNBA

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Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender says ouch.

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Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting brutally raped in the anus by the Dark Lord Satan.

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What did the girl say to the other girl? Nothing. She got hit in the head with a pineapple

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Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

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i'm funny

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

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How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

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What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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