Why didn't Wendy want to sit down? Because her dad put a hand full of needles in her anus. - D

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Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

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I don't believe in giraffes.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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Dislike this joke for a cookie However if you like this joke you dont get a cookie

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A guy in a truck delivering furniture runs over a frog. Concerned for the frog, he pulls over and runs back to the frog and asks "Are you ok?" The frog replies "Yeah, you want to buy a cupboard?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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Wats wet and salty and people on the west coast get covered in it? Sweat.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the man go bra shopping? Cause he is a single father and his teenage daughter needs a new one.

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

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You might be a redneck if you have red on your neck

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Why was the number 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven the first muffin turns to the other and says "Its pretty hot in here." the second muffin jumps back and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

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have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he....

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I forgot to tell you something I forgot wat it was

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy are all sitting on a park bench. They share several minutes of uncomfortable silence due to cultural differences.

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A man walks up to a gay guy and says "you are socially accepted"

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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