Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she is likely to be there for some time.

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Q: What's full of different butts and smells bad? A: An ashtray.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called anti joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

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Q: What happened when Johnny cheated on his test? A: He got a higher score

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Where did the homeless man sleep? A rather nice hotel with fluffy pilloes

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Knock Knock Who's there? The visitor is deaf and therefore does not have the ability to respond.

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophobe a blow job

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken? That one! Grandma, that's a hobo. Put your glasses on.

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Q. What roles did girls play in the Gold Rush of 1849? A. Miners.

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So what makes you that much adaptable? I get the feeling I should get this by now.

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

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Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing? R: Because she had no arms.

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2 sheeps are outside having a great time One sheep walks up to the other sheep and says: hello The other sheep says: hello Now what I want to know: what ally do you get your drugs from

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Several men are in a bar a tall white man named James orders a round of shots for all of the people they all have a fun time untill James gets into a car with Derrick who is not sober they drive right into a sick childrens hospital and cause many frantic wild fires throughout the town. They all end up in jail for an unrelated cause

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate to laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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