A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

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Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

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Q: What do you call someone who cant swim? A: A person that cant swim.

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Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

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Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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Q: What did Santa give the little boy for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's not real

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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GONNA

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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Did you know there is a whole country occupied with twins? It's called China

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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A man walks into a bar. It was a salad bar, so he left.

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Friends are like potatoes. I don't have any potatoes.

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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Like if you like big tits.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got mercifully trampled by a nearby 18 wheeler.

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Why did the police officer pull over a black guy? He was going over the appropriate speed limit for that area.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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