Cripples are lame.

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Whats 9+10? Well it's certainly not 21

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What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

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So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

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whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal

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What's Pink And Wet? A chewed up piece of Bubble gum.

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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I see, said the deaf man to the blind guy.

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What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

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Why did the pony say neigh? That`s all he can say

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Charlotte Bobcats

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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What is brown and sticky. Hot chocolate.

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Why did the baby's bedroom smell so bad? The mom farted.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Q: What's the point? A: .

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. The female body inspectors? No, the female bawdy inspectors.

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

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What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

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What's the difference between Santa clause and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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