What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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Q: You know what's really funny? A: A good joke.

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Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

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How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

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What the difference between a black man and a pizza? A black man is capable of feeding a family. A pizza is capable of feeding an American.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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knock knock whos there rock rock who rocks dont knock stupid

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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Q: why did the little girl cry on Christmas? A: because she got a dead cat.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank Answer - to get his quarter back

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What did the turtle say to the hare? Nothing. Animals can't speak.

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What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

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What do you call a man with a towel on his head? A good target.

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As for regarding the Win/Win/Win/sore ass kid comment below... Why not? There is too much Win in order to worry about some fucking soreass thats just gonna grow up to be a slut... RIGHT? Your friendly r*pist Neighborhood r*pist Moral: Man: "He or she who knows I am right, will be be the only one left" Btw, I am the Anti-God, what else can I be? You are the ones that killed Christ Ahahahahahaha! Political humor bonus because my satisfaction of owning you all and your entire screen. Are you Right Winged? Or wrong Winged?

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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Why did the crack addict see colors. He was looking at the northern lights

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How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

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Is your refrigerator running? No.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Q: What did the cop say to the deaf man? A: Nothing worth hearing about.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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Q:Waht did the blind deaf kid get for chrismas? A: Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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