What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

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Q:Whats funny? A:Genocide

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what is red and lies in all four corners of the room? a baby that was playing with a chainsaw.

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What do you call Mary in a wheelchair ... virgin mobile

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

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What do you call a blank white sheet of paper? Printer paper most likely

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What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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Why did priences Dian cross the street? Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt!!

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How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

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What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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what do you call a cat with no tail? smithers.

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What Do You Call A Man On Land With No Arms And Legs? Useless

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why did the Mexican take $20, because he found it on the ground

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Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

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What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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What do you call two dog? dogs

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

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Why did the baby cross the road? A very uncaring parent left their infant outside. The unsupervised baby then crawled under the fence and began to head towards the road. When the baby began to cross the road, there were two cars coming from both directions. Luckily, they saw the baby and came to an abrupt stop. Unfortunately, when the baby made it to the other side, an eagle swooped down and snatched the baby, because it is a bird of prey. Fortunately, the child's life was spared by the eagle. The Department of Child Services showed up later only to confiscate the baby from the parents. The eagle wanted to adopt it, but it could not speak nor could it sign the legal documents because it was an eagle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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