What's black and blue and hates sex? The 8 year old in my trunk

What did one socially awkward kid say to another socially awkward kid? Nothing

Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

Roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo don't be sad cause I'll be there to not in the cage but laughing at you

What do you call a man with no legs or arms trying to ski? Impossible.

Aaaaakkkkkiiiiiinnnnfffffeeeeennnnnwwwwaaaa

Spell: “This word”

A man see's a bird and tries to get its attention by whistling at it, much like if it were a dog. The mans whistle fails to get the birds attention because birds have wings and dogs do not.

Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

What's the difference between The Holocaust and baking pizza? Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

Dozer has a soul

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? That's the joke.

Whats the difference between Justin Beiber and Polio? Polio was cured.

Nero, I mean it, I want you and your wife to have 15 million dollars, it wont buy you the happiness you seek, but it helps no?

You know what they say about women with really big feet? They actually don't say anything.

what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

Don't believe in Atheists.

What did the blonde do when she missed bus 40? She waited 30 minutes for it to come back around again.

What do you call an blank test? an F

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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