A man walks into a bar not a duck though

Why did the black man repeatedly punch the white man? The two men were boxers. They were fighting in a charity boxing match. Revenue generated by the event went towards cancer research.

How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

Why couldn't Timmy ride a bicycle? Because Timmy was a goldfish

Whats the difference between a van with a bunch of babies in the back and a Cadillac with a bunch of babies in the back I don't have a Cadillac in my garage

What kind of a prediction is THAT?

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

Marrage s like a card game. You start off with 2 hearts and 1 diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade!

what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

Man: Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Woman: Oh, wow, thanks for pointing that out. Silly me.

why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs waterskiing? Skip

What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night? Cot death.

Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

Why are rich guys gay? They can afford to be

A man tells a blonde "you are what you eat" and she replies "well, i don't think I've eaten any sexy beasts today.'

What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...