Regarding the "I will violate you, your children and your parent if you thumb me red" comment belo. I had a green thumb, I know because I gave it to myself because I am awesome... Now I got none... I person that this this, I cannot wait to X-mas where I will be violating them all, tell them, and as thus remind you that this was their Christmas present from you... Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: Yes, I am your neigbor... I cant wait for slot number 24 on my christmas calendar... There is a picture of you and your family... Yummy!

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A boy asks his father how babies are made. The father responds, "Babies are created via coital sex. A man rhythmically inserts his erect penis into a woman's vagina until he ejaculates. If his semen successfully fertilizes her egg, a baby will slowly grow in her uterus. After roughly forty weeks of gestation, the baby will be born."

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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THE GAME

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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What's are the screams and terror when midnight hits? Vannlia Ice's face.

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What happen to the boy who poured water on his head? He got wet.

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How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

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What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

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How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

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why did the mexican cross the road? to catch its bus on the other side

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

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why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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Why is Kim Jong Un so horrible? I forgot the rest of the joke but your mum is a whore

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Why did the fat guy get a gun? Because he was tired of all the fat jokes...

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

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Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

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Covietz has a large penis

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What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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