Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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What's red, blue, and purple? purple.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

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Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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Hey, the eighties called, they were really excited about inventing a phone that could call the future.

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A man walks into a party, walks over to the snack stand, and is surprised to find that there is no punch line.

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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Why can't Hank drive? Hank is a stone.

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Why did the man follow the law? He didn't want to get arrested

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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TELL

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What does a black person use to chop a tree down? An Ask.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you came 'cause GameGrumps Fuck you.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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god walks into a bar orders a beer and then remembers he's not real

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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Knock knock. Who's there? Steve Jensen. Oh hi Steve, come in.

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Why didn't the black man pay for his child support bills? He made some unwise financial decisions in the past and is working three part time jobs just to stay afloat.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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