How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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y r black people noses so big??? A= god had to hold tem somehere to spray paint them

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What do you call a man who kills others for his own amusement? A psychologist

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How you know that you are flying with a "no frills" airline? There are no meals or films provided, no orange juice to drink during ascent and descent and no mid-flight shop service.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

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once upon a time jeff peterson was taking a daily walk when he stops and stares at a strange object. it was an assasin with a knife who slaughtered jeff decapitating his head while his family cry's. THE END

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Why does the cool aid man make it look so easy to break through? -To Get to The Other Side!!!!!!

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Guy: "Did you hear about the guy who cried wolf?" Friend: "Yes. He was pulling your leg. People cry tears not wolves." Guy: "How did you know he was pulling my leg?" Friend: "If you look down, he's still there pulling it."

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On monday morning the doctor walked into a patient's room, then he walked out after a quick check up.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

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How do you find a date? Look on the calendar!

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I named my son ps2 controller

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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your mother is so fat that she eats a lot of high fat foods.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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A horse walks into a mans house. The man wonders how the horse got into his house.

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Why did Helen Keller always ride in the passenger seat? so she could SUCK THE DRIVERS D!CK!!!!!!!!!

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why was the toddler sad? he was diagnosed with cancer after his dog was put down because it raped and murdered his parents

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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