Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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What is worse than reading an anti-joke relatively similar to the other? Walking in your front yard and realizing a zombie is eating your dead grandmother.

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

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What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has AIDS.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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Knock knock, Come in...

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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Why did my mom smell bad. Because she is a corpse and has been dead for some days now

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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What happens when you hit a black guy with your car? He is seriously injured.

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Q:What did the Hulk say before the bartender refused to serve him further drinks? A: HULK SMASHED! Moral: "THE MORE DRUNK THE HULK GETS! BLURRIER HIS VISION BECOMES! HULK IS THE BLURRIEST THERE IS!"

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What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

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What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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