Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

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Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

A bar walks into a man

What is the difference between an empty bucket and a bucket of water? The Water.

What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black and so is my neighbor

What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

An anti-joke

What's green and red? A frog in a blender

A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

Corn Muffins

What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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