Chuck Norris can right-click with a mac mouse

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knock knock. who is there ? nobody.you have no friends.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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Why did Sam have no friends? He was dead.

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This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

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Lucy laughed at the joke. Then realised she had gangrene.

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

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Why did the cupcake walk into the bar? It can't it's a cupcake

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What happens when you try to rescue a cat from a tree? It jumps on your face, falls down, and dies.

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What did the pear say to the apple? Fred, you delusions are getting worse and i'm getting a divorce.

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Are you black? Kill yourself.

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yo mama so stupid, she went to the super bowl an bought a spoon

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Doctor Doctor! I think i'm epileptic! I'm not the Doctor, I'm the receptionist. You're a hypochondriac, now wait in the Que, like everybody else Mrs. Davis.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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a white guy a black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar.

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A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

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What do you call a Man who likes little childeren A Nittany Lion.

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1 + 1 ? Hmm, I don't know, maybe 2 but I could be wrong.

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What do you call 10 old black people in a barn? Used farm equipment

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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