Want some candy? Lol jk get in my van.

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A game of one-on-one basketball in a common physical education class in present day mexico city.

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identical jokes get different votes.

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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When does George Harrison take a shit? In the morning

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it "NUuhHUhhuUUUuhhhuuuuumph!"

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Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

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How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

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What's worse than getting tripped? Getting shot.

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an emo kid walks into mcdonalds and orders a happy meal

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Q:What did the hillbilly say when he lost his tractor? A: Where is my tractor

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What is a pirate's favorite color? It depends on the pirate.

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What's worse than breastfeeding a wolverine? Force-breastfeeding a wolverine.

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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jess always squints her eyes when making a point

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A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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