What did the lion say to the Octopus? Nothing, lion's can't speak. And even if they did, the chances of one ever encountering an octopus are very slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +224

What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Who's There? Hi, I'm just going through the neighborhood to let everyone know that women secretly enjoy being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Two cows were on a field, one cow say "moo", the other... didn't say anything because it wasn't a cow

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a black priest? A black priest

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock Who's there? Reality, we have come to install a doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

memes

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Is your friend gay? Yeah, duh, of course he's happy.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the man order at KFC, in Miami? A face.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Cornbread ain't nothin wrong with that.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops