What is orange and smells like a jewish cat. Nothing

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen... A Submarine

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What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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Two muffins were in the oven. One muffin goes "whoo! It's getting hot in here!" the other muffin goes "ahhh! A talking muffin!!!"

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Your mom is so poor, she can't afford nice clothing.

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A boy with cancer decides to go skydiving for his 18th bithday. Unfortunately, his parchute doesn't work & he dies before he hits the ground.

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What did one barstool say to the other? Nothing, inanimate objects cannot talk.

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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What is big, red, and beats rocks? A big, red, rock beater.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

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Why was little Alice and her family at the graveyard? Well someone had to come at her funeral...

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a dyslexic man can't spell a word, don't judge him

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Why didnt little jimmy have a funeral? Because he is still at the bottom of the lake where I put him.

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Why was the little boy crying? Well first off he is adopted. He then woke up and found out his pop star dad is dead. ..... His name is blinket.

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Yo mama's so old, she might die soon

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Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

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Why are black people good at basketball? While there are many preternaturally gifted black men and women in professional basketball, the notion that one race holds sway over the others in terms of sheer skill and talent is a ridiculous stereotype; propagated, no doubt, by both ignorant and jealous persons of other colors.

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Q: why did the train not make it to the station? A: it crashed and killed everybody on board.

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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How did the chicken cross the road? By foot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops