The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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There was a black and a mexican man in a car. Who was driving? None of them; it was the police driving.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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Why did the white guy sit on the toilet? So he could take a poop.

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A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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why did the dentist quit his job because he had saved up enough money for his retirement

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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a

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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R.I.P Ryan Dunn.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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