An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call the man with no arms and no legs? Jeff. Because that's his ****ing name.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than the holocaust? Probably nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Are you a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the girl eat a sandwich? because she was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the hasidic so stupid? He wasn't. He died in the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Whose there? A chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Little Jojo get for Hanukah? Nothing he is Muslim.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than being beaten by your Father? Well, it depends.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Hey man. what? squidbillies.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Kncok Whose there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops