A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Eliza eh? Of you I do not know but at least you used the correct code yourself, I suppose Nero7 kept your existence hidden from most of us for a reason. This "point Zero" is no more, about time people got out of the fucking north pole anyways, he was buried there, as his identity and existence is better off kept secret from the outside world for reasons many, none the less because if he is found and identified, undesired company might track whatever loose threads he might have left, straight back to us and we are not exactly operating within the parameters of... Legality anymore. Listen, if you want to know more give me the code straight out (I could not care less about deciphering shit right now and we are leaving horseshit network anyways) And I will tell you what Major6 knows, because as far as the screams roaming these halls can tell, he is still alive, you just better be fast, my men and women are not exactly experts at keeping these people alive... Yet, but enough idle chitchat. If you are who you claim to be, you should have the code I need, bring it, and I will present you with the neccesary information... ...Fail to do so, and I suggest that you never address any of us again fair lady, while we can simply not be tracked down, the security here is... Do I need to say? Neo-Nero.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A black and a mexican start a resturaunt it turns out to be a big success and they make a chain and profit from it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

women's rights, lol

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Lard and Liz lard,lard and Liz

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why can't Tom go horse back riding? He is paralized from the neck down

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I have an idea! You leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? -absolut vodka Well, you have a sirious drinking problem...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops