How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

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Your adopted

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Roses are reds violets are blue when your parents says your beautiful they're lying to you

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Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree. B: Are you a tree? A: psh, no! *gives offended look and walks away*

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A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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Sarah Palin.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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It was a beautiful day. Face.

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

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a dog walk into a landmine, he exploded.

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I was the bigger man in the argument. The person I was arguing with is now unconscious.

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

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Boy:well you merry me. Girl:no Boy: why not? Girl:becuase you're rapeing me

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What are the four season of Canada? Cold, cold, cold and road work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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