What did Roadrunner name his car? Turbo Tax.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

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Why did Chad find dead people all over the playground? Ask him, it's not like he's pointing a gun at your face.

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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What do you call a deaf black man? Well, if you did not already know his name, you would first have to contact a member of his family, or a friend, and ask them, as even if you were able to communicate the question of 'what is your name?' to the man, it is well known that the speech of deaf people is nowhere near as clear as that of people who are able to hear.

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What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

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Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side??? Yeah he's all right now!!!

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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what did the poor kid get from santa? Nothing santa hates poor kid, but the rich kid got a very nice convertable.

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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A donkey looks at a goat. The goat walks away.

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I don't get it

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

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What's like a whale and has a sprained leg? MATT ROSS THE FAT ARSE!!!!

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A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

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u r stupid! y? cuz u took the time 2 look at are jokes! haha lol

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Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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