Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

thumb_up thumb_down -25

knock knock you may come in

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A Rabbi, a Priest, and an Atheist walk into a restaurant. They receive terrible service, and do not leave a tip.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse than dropping your ice cream cone Your dad having brian cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you kill a dinosaur with a spoon? You cant because they are extinct creatures

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did sally fall of the swing? because she had no arms... knock knock? (whos there) not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why are lizards broke? Because they run around the desert with no money...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What would you find if you shaved chuck norris's beard? A chin.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? A one-way ticket to Hell for messing with God's creations, you heathen!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Are you a human?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

All your facts check out, so I sent a little search team to find someone selling us out, it turns that they are after the leader of "The order" and "The king`s throne", so unless you got some small sub-department going on, point zero is in danger, ill explain everything once this is over.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did Batman's mother say when it was time for dinner? Nothing, Batman's parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Know who had straight parents? Adolf Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the dog say when the woman put a sweater on him? Nothing, dogs can't talk and he has no idea what is going on

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops