How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

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A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

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A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

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What did the black guy get for Christmas? (In 1938) A bruise from the Klu Klux Klan.

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A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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Your mama is so ugly. But she is still a respected member of the community

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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Chick Norris... Enough said

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What's blue and pillowy? A blue pillow

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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I like it, I like it becuase it is cream

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Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

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What is Worse than the holocaust?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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