Grammer is very important

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Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

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why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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Why did Hitler hate Jews? Because he use to get bulied by them when he was in high school.

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Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

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What did the snow flake which could talk say to the other snow flake which could talk None of us are the same.

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Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

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What do you get when you cross a muslim and a mexican? i don't know, i just thought that this would make an interesting question.

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Cold camel scrotum.

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Girls soccer

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Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had down-syndrome

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

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why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

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What did the duck say to the pickle? Quack

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ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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What did the rapist say when he spotted the young girl? I am going to rape you!

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What is 1+1? It's 2!

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Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I am gay.

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i had a dream last night;) it was sad because you lived but then i dreamed up a bus and made it hit you. i had a dream last night;) you died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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