How do you get twenty black men in a tiny car? Saw them into pieces.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

there was this kid who was perfectly well-adjusted, had most normal things a person needs and a generally good life. what did he get for Christmas. non-hodgkins lymphoma.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +48

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Where was little suzie the day after the house fire? At the hospital, being treated for minor burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A POW is sitting in his cell when the guard walks up to him. He says "You may choose one of these tortures, drowning or listening to Rebecca Black." The POW chose Rebecca Black, for even though he disliked her music, it was much better than getting drowned

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

thumb_up thumb_down -12

96

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A white wall with black and red paint just added onto it recently.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Knock-Knock The man wasn't home, so there was no answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Wy did the chicken?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock, Who's Theres? Your dead squashed nan

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops