What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

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i hate this glue. give me one new or i will poo.

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What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

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So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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what did one pedophile say to the other at the playground? DIBZ!!!

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? There's twenty of them

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What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The Holocaust. And also cancer.

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How do you make a wall a darker shade of red? You throw the baby harder.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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When black people wore their pants low, white people called it "Saggin" little did they know that "saggin" spelled backwards is "white supremacy" those sneaky white people

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When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because it escaped from the farm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops