When life gives you lemons make lemonade, when life gives you apples make apple juice, when life gives you cranberries make cranberrie juice and then when live gives you mangos, Eat them :)

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What is blue and feels like a shirt? A blue shirt.

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yo mamas so ugly she turned madoosa into stone

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What happens when you have fish and a rhino mate? Nothing, that is physically impossible, a rhino is a lot bigger than a fish and it would not be possible for a rhino to do that with a fish considering a rhino can't breathe under water and a fish can't breath with out air.

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why did the black man go to court he was a lawyer it's is job

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What eats grass and goes MMMMOOOOOOO? A weird person that likes to eat grass and MMMMOOOOOOO

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How do u keep annoying children off your front lawn? Molest Them.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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You will never see the a heaven made of pure light with no room for darkness to dwell? Pure light will make you blind, living forever in darkness.

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The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

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A guy walks into a bar and doesn't buy a 12 pack of coke, pepsi is better but he didn't have enough money to buy either.

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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A black guy walks down the street. He sees a lamp, picks it up and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he has 3 wishes. The black says he wants to be thin, white, and get alot of pussy. The genie says, congadulations your a condom!!

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yo mama is so dumb, she got all Fs on her report

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Nickelback.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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