one morning i turned on my tv

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

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A murderer walks into a bar with a knife. He then stabs seven people and is then arrested shortly after.

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snowglobe

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What ruined the little boy's day? He drowned.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

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How do you stop a lawn mower? You throw a baby under it.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

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whats the one about not giving a crap? oh yea this one

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whats the worst part about being a black jew your black and jewish

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What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

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(Family sat down at table) *Child goes to start a story* - "I have a ginger friend.." Everyone bursts out laughing and leaves the child confused.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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What happens when you run out of butter You ask antonio

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What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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What did the blind football player say to his coach? I cant see

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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