Snausages.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

*Knock Knock* Who's there? It's Jeff. Hi there Jeff, come in, the doors open.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do people from Indian Hill laugh? Like an Indian, huh, huh, huh!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

why did the kid get chemotherapy? because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Half life 3 confirmed

thumb_up thumb_down -5

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Doctor: I'm sorry about your disease, young man. It looks like your time is up. Man: NO! How much time to I have? Doctor: Five. Man: Five years? Five months? Five weeks? Doctor: Four... Three...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats Better Than Apple Pie Sweeeet Pie

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops