when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

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when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

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what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What's worst then finding a worm in your apple Eating it.

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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knock knock who's there? orange orange who? orang you glad i didn't say knock knock agian

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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Two men are fighting in a boxing match. One gets punched in the crouch, cries, and goes home to watch "The Simpsons".

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Follow the Yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road........except it's not yellow.

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How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

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What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

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What is the difference between a mexican and a bench? One is living, one is not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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