Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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What do you cal a thousand black people swimming to Africa with a Jew under each arm? Waterboarding.

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Why did the bunny eat his food

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AntiJoke will not let me type this so I will add some spaces. N I G G E R.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Two gorillas walked into a bar and it hurt

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a registered sex offender.

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What did the Dad say when his daughter murdered everyone Tea you're grounded

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Niall Horan

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Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you, but the rose are wilted the violets are dead the sugar is lumpy and so is your head.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

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A man walks into a doctors office He has AIDS

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

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I've done a lot of soul searching, and.... I've realized.... the & symbol really looks like a man dragging his butt on the ground.

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why did the disabled man go to the shops? because he wanted a radiator panel

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Why was the boy at the funeral? Because he was dead.

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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What can make you pee? Liquid

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Whats tha difference between blacktop and an airplane wing??? Well, alot. I bet you knew that.

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Your mother is so nice, I saw her while grocery shopping and we pleasantly chatted. She also remembered my name and invited me to come over sometime and have a snack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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