A monkey and his owner walk into a bar they sit down at the bar... I dont know the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

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A: Is this the Krusty Krab? B: No, this is Pizza Hut. Please stop prank calling us.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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abcdHIV this disease is killing me

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

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What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

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A young black girl walks in to a bar. Because she was not of the legal age to consume alcoholic beverages she was asked to leave in a peaceful manner.

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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What did the frog say to the other frog Your a chode

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

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When life gives you lemon, Squeeze lemon juice in life's eyes Rape it And demand oranges

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How do you make a cripple cry Cut of his legs, THEN telll him a joke

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Gale swallows.

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If u and I jumped off a cliff..who would land first? who cares..

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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your mom

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What's the best part about seventeen-year-olds? There's seven of them.

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What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead black guy in the road? It doesn't matter, I cried after both

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Jack and Jeff went up a hill to fetch a pail of water, They both turned gay, and had some sex, and now they have HIV

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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