Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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doctor doctor i need help i stay up all night dancing what is it? dance fever! HAHAHAHA its fatal.

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25 kids go into the water. shark in the water. 10 come out. Ice cream man deals with the rest of 'em.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm homosexual And so is my boyfriend Jeremy, with whom I have shared countless evenings of joy and laughter.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Voldemort

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What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

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Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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What did the blind man say to the librarian? Hello, I am looking for books that are published in braille.

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What do 69 and 420 have in common? That was my score on my Math final:(

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was mad at it wife.

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What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

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You know what happens when there's an awkward silence... Everyone feels a little bit uncomfortable for a brief moment in time.

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If Jonny has 300 pies and eats 299 pies what is left for Jonny? DIABETES

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The Mexican word of the day is JUICY. Tell me if juicy see the cops.

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Why was the anti joke funny? because it wasn't funny.

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Why can't helen keller drive a car? Because she is a woman

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Why was the man tired at his soccer game? Because he did not sleep well the night before

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Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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Why did the chicken walk across the road? Because chickens cannot fly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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