I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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Did u hear bout the guy who went to the donut shop yeah he has brown hair

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Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

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why are black people so good at sports? hard work and dedication

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What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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what is the difference between a banana and an orange? bread.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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No, its just his eye, its infected, he gets fever and well, that is all I should say. Nero is my friend and I do not like it when people lie to him, he is outside having a cigarette, I do not think he wants to speak with you anymore. Bye.

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How does a man with no arms ride a bicycle? He can't, he loses control and falls over, getting a few scrapes and bruises.

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Why did the boy go to his room? Because his father told him to.

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A guy asks someone's name. The other guy answer that his name is Steeve.

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why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

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DID YOU HEAR THE FBI INVENTED A TELEPHONE THAT THEY CAN USE TO CALL THE DINOSAURS? ITS TRUE! Them DAMN DINOS REFUSE TO PICK UP THEIR CELLPHONES THOUGH! Nero: This is not completely accurate though, a T-Rex called us twice actually, but he just kept roaring, making communication impossible... ...That sad moment when you post a totally non ofensive joke, then to tell you that I might your father, me or one of the sixthy guys that bukkaked your mother which was sucking off a dog and... Anyway problem solved!

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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SHINEE IS BACK PART HARD

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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What do you call a black man with a wooden leg? A veteran.

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Why did the black man drown? Because he grew up in a poor neighborhood, where no one had a pool, and so he never learned how to swim

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"Why do children's movies show everything in that happens in the movie in the trailer?" "The same reason I show children everything that's inside of my trailer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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