Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

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How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

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nothing

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, we're taking your house. This is a vacation notice, please be out of the property in 30 days. Have a nice day.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

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What happens when you put a white shirt in the red see on a blue moon? It gets wet.

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How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

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Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

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why did a latino decide to eat green apple? i don't know that's what i'm asking

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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Whats funnier than an anti joke? a real one.

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Chemotherapy.

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

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What is an anti-joke? This is.

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A black guy and Hispanic guy jump off the Empire State Building at the EXACT same time. Who dies first? Who cares?!

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How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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So a guy walks in to a bar.... and orders a beer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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