roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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all your base are belong to mark

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You are on a street. there are 4 houses, a red one, a blue one, a green one, and a white one. The red man lives in the red house, the blue man lives in the blue house. the green man lives in the green house. Who lives in the white house? The president

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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What do you call a person with an arrow in their head? Dead

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Q-what did the bus say to the other bus? A-nothing, buses are incapable of talking

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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What do you call a limbless woman on a beach? Sandy

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

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Knock knock Who's there? I Love You! -Harrison

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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what do you call a man in a hole Fill

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What was the comment at the bottom of this anti joke? come up with a better anti joke

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What did the fat man get for his birthday? diabetes

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

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Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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