A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock, Knock. Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happens if George Washington is still alive? World population increases by 1

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the hammer say to the screwdriver? You're a tool

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the Chicken cross the road? He was on his way home from work and saw some youths loitering on the street corner and thought it best to avoid them and therefore any possible confrontation. He would also appreciate it if you would call him something along the lines of Bravery impaired instead of a chicken as he finds it offensive and doesn't fully understand the avian reference to his lack of confidence.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

One time Chuck Norris cried. He felt slightly better after the experience, but, unfortunately, his grandmother still died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Where was Susy after the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your husband died.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock! EXPLOSION!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's got four legs but can't move by itself? A chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops