they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

roses are red violets are blue i have Downs Syndrome... and a ding-dong potato

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How was Charles Manson able to get women to kill for him? Because he was charismatic and intelligent.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: How much dirt is in a hole 3 by 6 by 2 feet? A: There's no dirt, it's a hole.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why are Asians so good at math? because of their work ethic and determination to become the best at everything.rice.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the asian fall over? He had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red Violets are blue I'll choke you with a hose

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a dead Blackman in the road and a dead dog in the road? There's skid marks in front of the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg. Chickens evolved from their pre-historic ancestors who each laid an egg with a slight genetic mutation until one egg contained what is now classified as the modern chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the black man say to the white man standing next to him? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Pickles

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops