how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the fat man fall off the swing? Because he weighed 855 pounds and it broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what is green an invisible? this cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do you get your son or daughters attention? break down the door to their room and promptly begin beating them with a wooden baseball and then tie them up to a chair and torture them for 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What did the black guy say to the white guy? A: Nothing, he's a mute.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

thumb_up thumb_down -18

roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken just lost his job and has entered into a deep depression. He was going to commit suicide at the local KFC, but as he walked into the KFC, he saw a beautiful woman. They lived a full and happy life together until the chicken died of old age. Turns out the woman was blind, and partially deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats funny about female tennage life? SELF HARM OOOOO YEAHHHH

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Doctor, doctor! I think I'm a pair of curtains... Well don't worry, you've come to the right place. We'll get you the help you need.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

My mom's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Holy fuckfarts! I did mention I am at my mothers place right? What am I saying? What am I typing? Marry me now!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There were 2 drunk men. Man 1:im planning to buy the world. man 2:you cant. man 1:why. man 2: cause im not gonna sell it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What happened to Sally, did she get that cough checked out? A: She died while driving there and got in a 12 car pileup.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats black, white, and red all over? Hot sauce on a checkerboard.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops