An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

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Q: what is an anti-joke? A: Coffee Volvos

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel!

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what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

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What did the muslim say to the jew. Hello

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What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

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A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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Why don't traffic lights go swimming? Because they aren't sentient or animate, and therefore can't decide to undertake such an activity. Even if they were sentient, they wouldn't enjoy swimming as the water would damage their electrical works.

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Why did the chicken cross the traffic filled road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken delivery.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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what do you call a animal with 3 horns. a triceratops

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What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

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There was a fat man crying. I just told him the local Mc D's was arson attacked.

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Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops