What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender quickly says to its owner that he must leave as dogs are not allowed in. Upon realizing that it is a seeing eye dog, the bartender retracts his statement and serves the owner a drink.

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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Two baby seals walk into a club.

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whats in common with a rat and an apple? neither of them are a fridge

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Whats brown and sticky A stick!!!!

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a mus lim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the mus lim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the mus lim that he's keeping company with a swine, and the mus lim feels offense for the poor horse.

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Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Owl." "Interrupting Owl who?"

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Roses aren't Red and Violet aren't Blue, do you know why i even like you

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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Have you ever tasted Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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I like school Said no one ever.

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George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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whats white jizz

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Person 1: knock knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: nobody Person 2: nobody who? Person 1: ............

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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yo mamma's so fat you're fat too, because it's genetical

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Roses are red Violets are blue I want to have sex But no one else wants to

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Ha! You're so gay that I respect the sexuality you were born with and I feel completely comfortable with, and happy for, you and your preferences.

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how do you get an A in a class? idk never got on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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