A lesbian couple, a straight couple, and a gay couple walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks and camaraderie.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

thumb_up thumb_down +45

here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

thumb_up thumb_down

Kid hands Lebron a dollar, asks for change Lebron hands him back 4 quarters.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down

Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down

Three men walk into a bar, they are promptly served and then they go home. Later that evening the bartender closes the bar and goes upstairs to his apartment where he is struggling with his debt... Business hasn't been as good these days.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Lady, calm down, you are missing out on the details here. We knew he was selling information as "The Wiz", from there on it was no problem tracking him down, but having us track him down at the core of Point Zero, would have dragged you all down with him, he was into sharing not only precious Intel, but also some sick shit, nobody is going to mourn him, and neither should you. We sent him a tip so he would get to some location where he would still be able to bypass the lockdown (easy to assume a little geek knows how to manage this), but a small anonymous tip would never have been enough to make him run for it, the next part was to make sure the info on his anonymous message, begin to come true. Sorry about the rest, I needed to know what position he had among "the Order", and he was shot down by a sniper, he knew too much, his involvement, and abilities as both a liar and a traitor, could easily have made it so he would have lied the blame on you, so he could have gone free. And believe me, this happens a lot, and is probably what happened to the old underground as well, think about it, you begin selling some dirty info videos, pictures of things nobody should see in the name of some "organization" (I have no idea what you call your thing, and it is best you never tell me). Then what is left? You claim the entire organization you work for, are the ones responsible for your dirty work, you tell your captors, and you go home rewarded with freedom taking the whole organization down with you, when in this case, the one that would have gone free, would have been the only one to blame. I know what the rest of you are doing, I mean I was part of its foundation years ago, and there is nothing illegal about it, yet people such as the feds would as they did, have brought the whole place down again, and as they had nothing to accuse us for back then other than "we do not like this", they never shared this to the mainstream media. Cant have that happening again, no matter the cost, and if you ask me, some small geek pedophile selling bullshit, should not blame you all, but die, that is justice. It was not "nice knowing me", we will meet again, I mean it, even if I have to get your cell number on "gray terms", you might not like it, but I will call you, on friendly terms of course. The setup is finished, got to go, cant sit here typing on my laptop anymore, gotta get back to the office.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the man say to his wife. Hi

thumb_up thumb_down

What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down

yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops