What do you call double A's? Batteries

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I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Six Million Jews.

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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sir ya look like ron weasly hhahahahaha LEL

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What do you call a Black Priest? His title would probably be Reverend, and then his last name after it.

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Whats greasy and long? Your moms chesthair

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Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

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You know who else sucks dick? My aunt Jane. She was forced to become a prostitute after she got fired from her job.

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What do you call a dead baby who died by getting ran over by a car? Jimmy

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What was little Timmy's final words? I just want to go home.

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Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

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Why did old Dorris shit herself? Because Margaret fell over.

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck!

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no

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

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This is not a joke.

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend? I have AIDS.

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What's black and white and red all over? My dog after she was hit by a car (true story)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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