One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

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What would Jesus do? Something that would in getting nailed to a piece of wood.

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"knock knock" "who's there" "I dont know, check the door"

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A muslim bought tickets for a 3pm flight. It was 11am, so in the mean time, he went to a bar to loosen up. His bomb vest accidently went off early, killing everyone in the bar. The flight arrived on-time in San Fransico.

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Rebecca Black.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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whats the difference between a mexican and an elevator? An elevator can raise a child.

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

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Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

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John has 32 candy bars, he eats 28..what does he have now? Diabetes.

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Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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What do you get when you cross an owl, with a bungee cord?..... My ass.

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Ever heard about the gray pipes that ran along the walls? Those pipes transmit gas. Gas killed the jews. You sick fucker.

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A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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So everything, the chat we had before was all you know, a game so I would call you? I am not sleepy but I can wait until you can confirm everything.

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Why is Brendan stupid. Because he's mentally retarded due to the fact he was dropped as a chil.d

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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