You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

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I went to the doctor & he gave only 6 months to live. I told him I couldn't pay my bill, he said "that doesn't change the fact you're going to die soon."

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

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What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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Roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo don't be sad cause I'll be there to not in the cage but laughing at you

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Whats the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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i saw a garbage truck it had garbage in it

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This is not Will Smith.

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9/11

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why did the internet crash? it didn't

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What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

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what would happen if american army lost their air supprt ? lmao

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Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

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A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

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A fish swims up your penis...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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