why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what the hell happened to your face

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. And now he's dead. No more shoe ingestion

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had sinned.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man is gay, a parade is held in his honor. A man is black, a holiday is named after him. A man is white, he laughs at the stupidity in the world today.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" So the horse says, "My ex-wife just got full custody of my kids and I'll never see them again."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? The MAILMAN The MAILMAN who? I'm the Fu*king mailman now here's your MAIL!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

thumb_up thumb_down -16

these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do andy and Justin Bieber have in common? they are both 5'7

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the child cry? It was beat up and thrown in a trashcan.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's hotter than a woman who is face down and ass up? A woman who isn't tying her shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

www.xnxx.com

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down

*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Farlingaye high school :L what a crap place!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

69

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the black man commit suicide? Because the white man murdered him.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops