A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

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What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree ? A crow, with a machine gun !

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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Why did Mark get paralyzed? Because he was a famed football player that went drafted for the 1st pick but was later hit so hard that his spine com pulsed and tore

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did the teacher say to the boy whose dog had just died? Haha, your dog just died.

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1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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A Jew, a Muslim and an atheist meet at the same bus station. A religious argument breaks out shortly and the three board their respective buses angry and upset. They were a really bad example of religious tolerance.

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Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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PENIS

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The Colts this year.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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