I was playing Black Ops online, my wife turned it off in the middle of the game....I killed her

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Knock Knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? That's strange, most American's don't eat poo I'm Asian

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i got angry and i was like " i really want to kick someone" ,my friend was on the ground and shes like "you can kick me" ,and i'm like "REALLY" ,then i kicked her really hard and she cried...

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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So one time this woman was learning...

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Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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Why did the plane full of Arabs crash? One of The engines failed

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

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What do you call a black man at the head of the U.S.? A mistake.

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Thanks, I admire your sincerity, and I am happy to see that I got a lot more in common with you, than with well, my nerdy and geeky friends, which are not reading this here and now unless they are going against their orders and messing up their own work schedule. I just want you to know that I have fallen in love with you Nero, and if that is a problem for you, please let me know ASAP.

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Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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What is black and likely to fail? A chain smokers lungs.

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your momma is so stupid she failed math class

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What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Roses are red violets are blue I have outsimers Wait what?

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Whats sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going off a cliff? A Caddy fits five.

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knock knock who's there Berry Joe Berry Joe who? I just told you, Berry Joe. oh.

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What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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