Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

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I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Cajuns love drinking And drowning too

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Knock knock.. Whos there? To... To who? To whom.

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A man is approached by a mysterious character in the streets, offering to tell him a dark and amazing tale. The man declines and walks away.

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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Why can't Mich Jackson draw a perfect circle? Because he's dead.

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Why did the chicken refuse to cross the road? Yo dawg, dat chicken saw dat hoe Sally crossin da road, dat biatch got hit wit a fridge. Dat chicken was like "hell naw, yall must be trippin, i aint finna die over dat shiet homie, peace!"

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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A woman walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, my water just broke." The doctor replies "Get off my carpet."

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Women's sports.

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how do you make abus driver cry? you rip his limbs off.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. ~Stevie Wonder

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

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Chuck norris walked into a bar. He went up to the bartender, clenched his fists and gave him some money

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knock knock whos there steve i dont know you go away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops