What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

thumb_up thumb_down -29

i have a black person in my family tree he is still hanging

thumb_up thumb_down +22

hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

GIRL: Honey, for a holiday we should go someplace nice BOY: How will that work, none of us speak Mexican...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

thumb_up thumb_down -163

Roses are ??red Vilotes are ????blue I am single and now so are u???? no go move on I don't need u I have some weed and I'm willing to kill u

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Q: Why did the Mexican mother leave her baby in the hot car during summer? A: Because she was irresponsible and forgetful.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many babies does it take it to feed a grown man? It depends on the size of the man, how hungry he is and how big the babies are.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonders house? I have it's actually really nice

thumb_up thumb_down +64

What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Dave then complied, opened the door and let the police search his house. He was then found innocent of drug related charges.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats the dif...mexicans are gay

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the black kid get for Christmas? your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops