Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what's up? my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What group of people do the police target? Criminals.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the same between a mole and an eagle? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you get six year old Hitler for his birthday? An Easy Bake Oven

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the dog say to the cat? give me back my dog food.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A girl and her friend got into a fight. They both bled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what did your mom say when she did crack? i am so f***ed up its not even funny, i mean, i literally screwed the racoon in our back yard. i certainly remember a lot of drugs and alcohol. i am pretty sure i raped your friend, billy. I also went all lezbo on your girlfriend. i murdered your brother. he was telling me to stop, so i lit him on fire and made him eat cigarettes. the very abusive mother was then charged with murder, rape, possesion of illegal drugs, assault and several other charges involving that one crazy night. refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Rivals? Someone from the past? Erron, who is "WE"! Tell me now!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did the chicken cross the road? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE? LET THE POOR CHICKEN IN PEACE! No, seriously he was going to his mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

National security?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why was the boy crying? cause an elephant tusked him up the ass

thumb_up thumb_down -43

How do you leave a man in suspense...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

There was a black and white spotted dog named Louis. Why did they call her that? Because, that's what they named her.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops