Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno, that's why I asked you.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

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What did the dead baby say to horse? Nothing, it was dead

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The elephant and the mouse was gonna go swimming at the lake, but they realize the Elephant forgot his swimming trunks! Mouse: Do you really need two trunks? Elephant: Oh well I can do with this one... but its not a swimming trunk! Mouse: Huh? Moral: Huh?

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What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

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An African american man fell out of a boat at sea. He swam back to the boat.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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what time is it? 3:16

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why couldn't the man open the window? he had no hands due to his time serving the USA in vietnam

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what did the addidas sign say to the nike sign? I'm all in

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Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

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Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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why did the kid raise his hand in class because he had a question

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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