Whats hard and long? An erect penile shaft.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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why did the Chinese man fail the driving test because he had no previous driving experience and wasn't prepared for the test

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What's worse then having your wife leaving you? Taking the kids with her.

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Q: What did the dumb blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios? A: Look! Donut seeds!

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what's worse than both your parents dying? finding out that they were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and they left you nothing, including the house, oh and you have to be out by the end of the week, the bank is ready to re-possess the house, especially since your parents haven't paid the mortgage for 8 months. oh, by the way, happy birthday! written by KA

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What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

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How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

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So a mama tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato were all walking down the street. The baby tomato was falling behind its parents. So the daddy tomato goes back, squishes the baby tomato and yells ketchup!

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: The Police. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

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Heyy everyone text this number 320-510-3277 Kay ask him why he poops the bed at age 17 .. His name is mike geier.. Haha

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So an African American man and another man of Hispanic, more specifically Mexico, are riding in the backseat of a car, who's driving? Probably their private chauffeurs, but most definitely not someone related to the Police Department.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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whats chinese noodles

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why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

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Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

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why did the man paint his house? cause he never wanted to mow the lawn

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Why is the chicken afraid of the tiger? Chickens are inferrior to tigers and could easily be eaten.

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Mahmy

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Anyone can post anything.

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What white and black and red all over? The wife who refused to report that her husband abused her.

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Q: What did one dog say to the other dog? A: "Bitch!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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