Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What's white, sticky, and is swallowed by most women? A: Ice Cream

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than being a ginger? Being a soulless ginger

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Not because she had no arms, but because she just had no hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Queens Park rangers

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I don't know about anybody else, but I just watched a part of a My Little Pony episode, and there's something about them that makes you want to come back and watch more. It's wierd, like mind control. Has anyone noticed this?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you stop a bus? throw a boy with an ice cream cone infront of the bus. but...come to think of it, that may not work. he might drop the ice cream on top of it >:l

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the clown go to jail? For 23 charges of rape and murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you get a black man out of his house? you ring the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I love my new microwave. It comes with a list that tells just how long to cook things. Now i know how long to cook a baby for

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A black man and a white man walk into a bar, "what will it be" said the bartender. Milk, chocolate milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the preist say to the other preist? 'hey! we're both preists!'

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Q: Whats worse than Coke A: Diet Coke

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide, Get over it

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops