why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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What is similar to an orange?? A tangerine.

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What's sad about an elderly couple who has had a long, fruitful marriage? Nothing.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Your so dumb, you didn't notice I should have used you're. Don't lie

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Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

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yo mamas so fat... she's a map on call of duty

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

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Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

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The bears will win the Super Bowl

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A man walks into a bar The bartender asks: What would you like to drink?

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I was bitter, nonetheleast because you and I became friends, while someone working for you (at that time it might just as well had been you) was conducting a lot of illegal activities. I kept thinking, why does the guy call himself "the wizard", its the most used name... Why? Because it is the most used name, good luck finding "THE WIZARD" among internet nerds, but then again, if you search for the most famous one, you find "THE MAN", Not only did you tell me at first that you where Nero. Which I can prove you are not, but you know, one side of me was your friend, the other knew I would have to get rid of you no matter the cost, if you kept your activities. SImply put: When I enjoyed our time together, I pushed you away with stupid humor, small insults and etc, mostly in order to protect myself from getting to close with a potential threat for well, security, lets keep it at that.

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What is small, black, and loved by children? An oreo.

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A woman walks into a bar.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What do Jim Carrey, Kim Jing-un and Justin Bieber have in common? A penis.

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How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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