- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

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I walked into my maths lesson and my teacher told me to point out the uncommon variable. ..So i pointed at the ginger black man in the corner.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

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A blonde walks into an electronics store to buy a toaster, the shopkeeper tells her that they do not serve blondes. She sues for discrimination and receives a considerable cash settlement while the shopkeeper looses his store and reluctantly works at a fast food franchise.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Nothing.

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what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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What's uneducated, black, and over six feet tall? A light pole.

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What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie

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So a Jew an Asian and a gay guy all walk into a bar... ...I lied. It was an oven.

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Haikus are awesome but sometimes they don't make sense hippopotamus

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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b

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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