How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

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Who invented apple? God

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Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to go to heaven because his girlfriend Margaret was cooked into chicken sandwhiches, and he had no kids and he didn't want to marry someone else, so he tried to get ran over but no cars hit him so he cooked himself. AND so he became KFC-Style chicken wings. BUUUT since no one ate them, he grabbed them up from heaven and commented on how delicious he was and proceeded to eat more and then exploded, sending him to heaven's heaven. But it was just a dream. And Margaret had to do laundry some more today because he freaking caused a urine tsunami. You're welcome.

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Lol... (wow you made me type lol), "like it is nothing to be ashamed of?" Your eyes are really beautiful, honestly probably the most beautiful eyes I have seen... And no, I am not talking about your bewbs.

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Some really old band covered Dirty Bit. But the cut out the Dirty Bit part so its just the Time of life part

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Wanna know something fishy? A fish

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen, she gets slapped by her sexist husband.

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What do you call a women out of the Kitchen? Nothing because they shouldn't be

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

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What happened to Timmy went to get ice cream from the ice cream truck? He was raped and never seen again, his family now mourns there loss

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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Why did the women knock on the door? she needed to do a shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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