Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

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why did the cow die because she ate poisoned apple pie

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What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

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Why are there so many jokes about germans on Anti-Joke? Because the Germans epitomize the flavour of anti-jokes perfectly and they have the whole nazi history thing going on which is ripe ground for many an anti-joke

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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wanna hear a joke? yes

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

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A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

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A ginger a blond and a burnett where walking in the dessert... They died of heat exhaustion.

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Why did the frog commute suicide ? Because His mother was a type writer

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what do you get when you mix a llama with a ostrich? i dont know

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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