What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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Why don't birds cry when they get hurt, lose a loved one, or watch opera? How the f*** should I know.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

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Gay marriage is freaking gay.

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A black succeeds

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What did the man with tourettes yell on an airplane? He yelled bomb, and was gunned down by 2 federal marshals, one of which's stray bullets happened to hit a small child with autism.

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An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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Why was seven afraid of eight? Because eight nine ten.

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Women's rights

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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a young cow was sitting on a bench until her husband shot her after that he said to the farmer 'i will get the milk than you cut the udders and then maranade them

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

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I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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Your mama is so fat she has a high BMI and is at a high-risk of Type II Diabetes.

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What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

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Anthony sucks

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What did the little girl who lost her baby teeth want for Christmas? A pony.

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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