What's long, hard, and wet? A difficult college exam that fell in a puddle of water

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that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you smell like crystall meth.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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What do you call when you see a man murder 8 black guys? The police.

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Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

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yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

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What's the worst thing to find in an empty box? Nothing,It's empty

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Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

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A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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OOOOPPS /

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza has cheese on it.

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how do you beat up 3 year old with ease? you beat her up, 3 years can't fight for shit.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

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A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

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Kenny G

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

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Whats the XBOX JUAN's most popular game. Call of Juarez!!!

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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