What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

thumb_up thumb_down +23

jay hefti is so cool and alex askew is hot

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a black guy who kills people? A murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the red-haired barber say to the father who abandoned him at birth? Nothing. The father sat to the side and read a magazine as the barber cut the hair of his legitimate child, failing to recognize the irony of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the best part about football The scoring

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

thumb_up thumb_down -1

stevie wonder watched a movie yesterday

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Asian bookkeeper say to the Jewish dog? I love you

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

thumb_up thumb_down -18

there once was a teacher who wouldnt shut up she just rambled and rambled and rambled ,untill one day i brang a gun to school and shot her ,she doesnt rambled anymore and i dont go to school anymore =win for everyone

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops