Your mama is so ugly. But she is still a respected member of the community

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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"your momma's so fat that she died in her sleep last night," said the doctor. "There was nothing we could do."

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What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

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Does anyone know any good ways to piss off an Grammar Nazi?

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shot in the face by a shotgun that shoots fireworks that explodes into chainsaw bullets.

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What did the tuna say to the fan I LIKE YOUR STOOL AHAHHAHAHHAHAH

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what did the pornography filmer say to the asain man as he was having sex? im taking a highly pixelated recording of you and your partner engaging in sexual intercourse

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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Me Chinese Me no joke Me die of cancer.

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Why? Why not?

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Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

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How did the blonde get blood on her Ipad? A terrible paper cut.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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