how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

Yo mama's so fat that after her enima, she looked skinny and rather nice

Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

~Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was dead. ~ ~Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was stapled to the monkey!!!

how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

Will there be love in your future? Click the hand with the love-line that is closest to yours

'THIS IS NOT A JOKE, YOU ARE THE 1000000TH VIEWER'...

why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

What starts with D and ends with ICK? Drumstick.

One morning a man was frustrated at the dining table. His wife ask "What's wrong?". He says "I can't fit this stupid puzzle pieces together." His wife asks "What's it a picture of?" The man says "A rooster" The wife says "Honey, put the cornflakes back in the cereal box." The man says "no".

What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

My name is Harry.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Peter

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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