knock knock. who's there? Alticka Alticka who? Alticka pudding cup.

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house..... It's ok he hasn't either.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was black

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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Did u hear what happened to that man with no arms and no legs who tried to play water polo? No, what happened He drowned....

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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How many dead babes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? its not possible because there all dead

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What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

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i like my coffee like i like my women... Without a penis

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why did the purse kill a circus yeast? Secks

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She was dead.

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops