What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: Why could John say goodbye to his girlfriend ? A: He didnt have one

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

That awkward moment when... Your mom is a guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock Whos there? Orphan. Orphan who? Orphan miller. Orphan miller who? Orphan miller jones. Orphan miller jones who? Thats it. Oh okay, I get it you're doing a knock knock joke Yeah. did it go alright? Yeah I guess, untill we started talking in 3rd person.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A Sloth runs...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you say to Jews at a synagogue? Hitler is coming

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why are gays soo happy , becuase the dont have to listen to women

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Wat is brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +29

68

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats black and yellow and makes you laugh? A bus full of niggers driving of a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Dad always said that laughter was the best medicine. Maybe that's why he died of tuberculosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead walk into a bar. There is also a woman with black hair standing outside, and the man next to her is bald.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

who is the wildest wild one? matt daly

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops