"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

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Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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What happens when you poke a ghost that is on the edge of a building?? Ghost aren't real, so therefor you will fall of the building and die????

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What's the difference between a chair and an identical chair? Nothing.

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Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

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Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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Your mom is so old, that she should probably up her B-12 intake to avoid sickness.

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A list of comebacks: Hows ur face nancy grace ur mom ur face ur moms face take it to my butt, cuz ur the only one that gives a crap

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Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

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Q: Why were the chicken and the cow friends? A: Because they shared common interests.

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What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

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Whats the difference between Tina Turner and dead babies? I have never fu*ked Tina Turner before.

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It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? A Holocaust. What's worse than a Holocaust? 3 bee stings.

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Bake until golden at 375

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Are you one of those gay rapists that flame around telling people no all the time?

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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Two elephants are walking down the street. They have already killed 12 people including 11 children and their foster parent.

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What is worse than something terrible happening to you? That same thing happening to me of course... Duh...

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? The tea he was drinking was at an unsuitable temperature for consumption resulting in the scalding of his mouth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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