Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

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Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

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What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

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Knock knock. Come in.

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I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Depending on the amount of saliva you produce each lick the answer to this question varies species to species.

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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how do you kill a giraffe? you don't.

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Do you need a life...? You can borrow mine! lol JUBIE! :()

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Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

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Roses are black, Violets are too. I'm colourblind. Stop laughing.

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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why was the woman out of the kitchen, because she had to have sex with her husband in a bed

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And so the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life," but John came fifth, and won a toaster instead.

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One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

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how do you make a plumber cry A: kill his family

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how do you stop a bus? Well, just up the road is a stop sign so the bus will stop there because it is illegal to go through a stop sign without stopping.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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