Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

What did the little boy become for Halloween? An orphan, his parents were killed that day.

Whats blue and smells like grass? Boise States football field

Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. All the other ducklings made fun of the ugly duckling for being so ugly, and the little duckling felt bad. "Why do I have to be such an ugly duckling?," he asked. However one day, the duckling grew up and became........well, an ugly duck. Turns out he was just an ugly duck. The end.

Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 killed 6's family

What did the black kid get for his birthday?

What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

Charles Manson is innocent.

Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

Whats worse than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork

You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

8================D-------- (.Y.)

Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

what do you call a black lawyer? a very well educated black man

i jack off in the school bathroom #yolo -toby limbers

What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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