What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

whats black. an african american person

What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

My parents have an open marriage.

Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy launched a flare. Nobody came.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

What's orange and rhymes with a parrot. A carrot

What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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