How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

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Why do black people cuss so much? Because f#*% you.

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"Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I'm a dinner roll!" Yes, well that's a side effect of your brain cancer.

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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The Definition of Megan Bates 800 Hamburgers

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What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

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God is real

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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You say tomayto, I say ecstasy.

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u suck

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Baby you think i loved you, but you got played too

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How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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how do you make a blond girl cry? kill her family

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your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

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baby loves lalma

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How did Matt stop the robbers? He called the police.

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

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how do you get a emo kid out of a tree? cut him down get it: because he was depressed and so poor that he couldn't afford a hair cut or new clothes. he also had single mother whose boyfriend sexually abused him so he was confused about his sexuality. Then people just called him "emo" and said he was acting out so they ignored him and he never gave him help when he asked for it because they said he just wanted attention so he killed himself

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Why was Jim gay? Because he liked penis.

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Why was the bus driver sad? The kid with the icecream had c4 strapped to his chest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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