"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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Nope, I mean you can try, but my phone is busted and the code on the chip my galpal here managed to finally get into the cell, has sixteen digits so damn small that none of us can read it,

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roses are red violets are blue, every 1 looks at you and call u a fool

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

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What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

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Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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A boy walks into a shop He buys some sweets.

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

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What's worse than a good anti-joke? A bad anti-joke.

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what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

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What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

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Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

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Why was the hasidic so stupid? He wasn't. He died in the holocaust.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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Know what people hated the most? 9-11

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Niki Minaj's ass

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate black people, and mexicans too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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