A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

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What is the best invention ever? Taking a crap reverse. So you can enjoy a nice bowl of aids.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you are my slave, get back to work!

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What amusing anecdote did the Department of Educational Dictations officer tell his coworker? There was no amusing anecdote. DED men tell no tales.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Cancer Cancer who? After some time and various bouts of radiation and chemotherapy, he finally lost his life to the terrible disease.

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Life is like a box of chocolates! It sucks if you have diabetes

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How many ADHD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Let's go ride our bikes!

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it followed the trail of bird feed strewn across it.

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why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

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Yo mama's so poor that she's living in poverty.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why can't Billy ride the bicycle? Billy's a fish.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

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Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

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A man walked into a bar. I shot him

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A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops