Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

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look left ------------------------------------------------------> i bet you failed.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The horse, being unable to understand the barman, breaks a table and shits on the floor.

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What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 4

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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How did Hitler make the world a better place? He died.

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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Q: What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A: A pilot, you racist.

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How do you know that you tv has been stolen? It's no longer there.

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A:Hi, do you like to blow bubbles? B:Yea... A:Hi, my names bubbles

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis.

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Knock Knock Who is there? 9-11 9-11 who? You said you would never forget.

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How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

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How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

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women's rights

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Where is the last place you would find a Mexican? In a good hiding spot that you didn't think of while trying to find him.

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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