What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

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Why did the boy kill himself? Because he wanted to.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.

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Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

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What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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I like that, but why am I happy?

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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why do black people were white shirts?..they feel like it

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Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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Who ate the cookies? Your face. Litterally.

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Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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what's worse than getting beaten by police? Getting beaten by Russian police

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken had no legs and was therefore incapable of committing to such a challenge.

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Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a bin lorry

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Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

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"Happy Father's Day!" said the little boy to the old man. The old man broke out in tears because he had always wanted to be a father.

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How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops