Okay, an ambulance is arriving for me (cops called it whatever I am fine) If you are still reading this then get the fuck out before I fire you no more messages.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the chicken cross the road? because the food source on its original side was running low, thus forcing the chicken to find other food options.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There are four black people near each other ? KITKAT !!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When life gives you lemons....you probably just FOUND lemons...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

a child and his father were on a bike ride the child tried to cross a street but was run over by a truck. His father now lives homeless and griefs his dead son.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do two zebras look like next to each other? Two zebras

thumb_up thumb_down -44

q: why do mens testicles hang? a: so woman can kick us in em

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Luke Hardie is G@Y

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the one horse say to the other. Nothing because horses can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, violets are blue. You're dog is dead. And so is your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Where's Waldo? In rehab. Waldo is in rehab.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I'm 4 and what is this?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink. He reaches into his back pocket, but cannot find his wallet. The man was pick pocketed by a skilled thief on his walk to the bar. The man quickly makes calls to cancel his credit cards and minimize the financial loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What was the babies first word? Nothing: It was a still-born.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops