A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

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What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

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I want to stick ma dick in a big bowl o puddin'

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

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Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

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Jonny runs with scissors. He gets hit by a bus.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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Two ladies are walking down a road. One says, "It's freezing out here!" and then the other woman, who is a scientist, says "No it's not freezing. The freezing point of oxygen is -365.82 degrees F. So, unless it is actually that temperature outdoors, I highly doubt that it is freezing outside."

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

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Why cant madeleine mccann play ps3? ive only got an xbox

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

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Five guys in white sheets chase a black man down the street. It is Halloween and all six people are close friends and enjoy goofing around.

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?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

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A serial killer kills a family of 5 He is never found and eventually kills himself from depression

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A dog, a cat, and a a fish were having a conversation while their owners were away. Ashton Kutcher is a murderer.

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Vicky is my best friend.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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lol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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