Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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You should put some sand in your vagina to make the crabs feel more at home.

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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What sound does a childs head make in a vice? I don't know, I was too busy wanking.

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Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Our experimental treatment for Anterograde amnesia has failed. I will inform your family.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Opportunity

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roses aren't red, violets aren't blue, they're all black, cause i'm colorblind. what about you?

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someone tell england that a depressed guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie.

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what's bad about pushing your friend off a cliff? you can't do it twice

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What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

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A cup of ranch walks into a lemon

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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Why didn't children go to their grandma at summer? Cause, they were hit by a car earlier that year and they are dead.

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

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A clueless chicken walks into a bar. Now being cooked on the BBQ.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "What'll it be?" The horse never replied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops