What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

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John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

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knock, knok who's there? ya ya who? yahoo

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain. Chuck promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense.

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My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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What's the deal with airline food?

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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cory is gay

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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What did the cat say to the dog? - meow!

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Siete inglesi quindi non sapete nemmeno cosa c'è scritto ? Succhiacapre che non siete altro.

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Did you hear about the blonde that went to college? She got a degree.

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? nothing he ain't already told her twice....

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Racial Equality

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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A man was walking down the street He was then killed in a drive by.

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What's worse than tieing a baby to a moving fan? Stopping it with a shovel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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