Two muffins are in an oven. They say nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Cleavlin has a shmaaala dik

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Palestinian and an Israeli both board a plane at the same time. They exchange awkward glances and take seats at different ends of the plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

My friend was in court for stealling smoothies so i told him to plead innocent and received 10 years in a federal prison and a fine of up too £5000 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. Why did the friend say to the other friend "Your soo gay!" A. Because he was gay..

thumb_up thumb_down +44

How do you stop a black person from drowning? You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

What do you call a black man riding a bike? A hard worker, he saved up his money for weeks trying to buy a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your TV

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: Whats the difference between a friend and a bestfriend? A: The other one has best in front of it dumb A$$

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why do you walk to your bed at night? Beds cant walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops