what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you call a dog with no legs? You can't call it, you have to go and pick it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Guess what? You just lost the game.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Will nearis is here! Get it

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man climbs up a tree. Once he reaches the top he is scared and thus incapable of getting down.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

thumb_up thumb_down +44

where did sally go after the bombing? everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

thumb_up thumb_down -8

hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't the man lick his elbows? Because it is scientifically proven that over 98% of humans can not lick their elbows.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you cure AIDS? You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldnt the black guy swim? He couldn't swim because he had no parental figures growing up. His dad was part of a gang and his mom was a crack addict. He had noone to teach him how to swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two chairs were sitting there. One chair says "Could you pass me that cup?" The other chair says "Oh my God a talking chair!"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops