One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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what happened when 3 had sex with 4? nothing numbers are not capable of sexual intercourse

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Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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What did the man do when he went in the bathroom he took a crap wiped his butt and washed his hands and went back to meet his family at the dinner table

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Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

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Tiny timmy likes timmy turner in his time of tingling on christmas.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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Hello

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What do you get when you make a website to put jokes on? People repeating the same joke over and over again, and still managing to get good ratings.

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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What did the blind man look at when the girl showed him her cleavage ? ... Nothing... He's blind... >_>

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't. It's dead.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have a gun BANG!

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Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

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Your mother is so ugly that people make yo mamma jokes about her

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Why can't the toucann fly anymore? Because they're extinct

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for christmas? Nothing. He was a jew. Jew's don't celebrate christmas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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