A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you become a multi-trilionere? Get bored...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the Mexican running through the desert? A group of bandits had kidnapped his family, raped his sister, drowned his mother, decapitated his father, and now they were coming for him. They are coming...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A man goes to Church he meets God nothing happens

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

knock knock whos there ben ben who ben ages since i seen you !!! vote this up please or a unicorn will die , unicorns are not real , but a moth can ride bikes so please vote this down

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man is on a date. His philandering causes a bitter divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than a joke. ONE TOLD BY FOK.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops