A rabbit hops into a bar and sits on a stool, he then asks for a carrot, the barman didn't have a clue what he said because it was a rabbit so gives him a carrot to be generous. The bar door slams open and animal control put him in a cage and take him away. The moral of the story is that you should never let rabbits in your bar.

There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

Q:why was steve sad? A:he had an extra penis

What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

when life gives you 100 reasons to cry, you should cry. you're lucky you haven't killed yourself at this point

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic, so to make his activities in the bar into a joke would be disrespectful and inconsiderate.

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

What is green and has wheels A blue bucket, I lied about the green and the wheels

Knock Knock Who's There? No One No One Who? ...

Whatsup?! Your grandpas chance of dying.

What happen's when you give an alcoholic whiskey? He's an alcoholic, so he drinks it.

what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

Why did the chicken cross the street? I don't know really

What did the Orange say to the Apple? Nothing. Both of them are lifeless objects, thus lacking the ability to speak.

why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...