Whats a cat? A cat!

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The colour of their skin.

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Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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The child was fired from his job.

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Why couldn't the little girl swing? She didn't have any limbs.

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Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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What's black and very long? The line-up at KFC.

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A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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One day Satan, approached his dad and said: DADDY I love you so much, I want to be just like you! That story did not end up so well did it?

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Who is the worst teacher ever? Mrs. Thompson

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What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

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why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" So the horse says, "My ex-wife just got full custody of my kids and I'll never see them again."

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Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

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Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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