Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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There's a black guy in a mansion. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Sleep

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A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

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What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple that has just been brutally murdered. If you see this, you should probably notify the local police so that they may investigate the situiation.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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what is worse than a guy pissed?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

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What was even more disgusting than the holocaust? Lucy's new shoes.

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Text Klarens at 317-653-8695. Tell him crazy shit or send crazy pictures.

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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what did the african child get for his birthday? water, it is a very scare resource were he comes from and is considered a great present

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Uh Erron, you know, I do not spend most of the time before this computer or studying because I am popular nor anything, so that`s one thing, and yeah, I never done it with anybody so yeah, uhh lucky me or something.

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A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

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Justin Bieber

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the grocery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons"

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Uber Driver: "Hey I'm close, where are you?" Me: "oh, I see you!" Uber Driver: "Are you that guy in the middle of the road?" Me: "yeah, floor it"

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops