Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because it was a hammer.

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Why did the sponge go to the store? The same reason all sponges go to stores: to be sold to patrons of said store.

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What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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Why was the dog barking... Because billy fell down the well

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Your mother is so stupid that she has an IQ score that is much lower than the average person.

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So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

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- How do you keep an idiot in suspense? - How? -......

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So a leg, an arm and a head win the Boston marathon. And I'm sitting here masturbating, ...

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Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

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are you from Tennessee, cause i wanna rip out your throat you piece of dirt

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where did Lucy go when the bomb dropped? everywhere.

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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why did the black man get kicked out of the hospital? nothing was wrong with him.

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Why couldn't the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

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Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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Smeg...

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

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A hobo said to another hobo "Im homeless"

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Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was stapled to the head of a penis that belonged to an asian man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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