Knock Knock The guy opens the door

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Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?" "You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monekey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the girl fall of of her bike? She was hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

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Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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Q: What happens when a Jew with a boner runs into a wall? A: He breaks his nose.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Multiple complications including broken bones, a fractured skull, liver disease, and the fact that all his family had been gassed by the Nazis.

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Who wants pizza crusts?

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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The Paralympics! Even if you win, you're still retarded!

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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How much is that doggie in the window? $4.95 + Shipping&Handling

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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Why did the horse insult the postage stamp? He didn't. Horses can not speak English nor can anything verbally or physically critique a postage stamp and make it feel any emotional distress.

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Why didn't the boy finish the race? He was handicapped

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What happens to a warehouse on a full moon? Nothing

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A whore walks in to a bar. She soon finds her John and they leave to his hotel room.

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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