What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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An alien just ate your family and all of the things you love

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What's the difference between black guy and a bucket of shit? The bucket

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

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Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

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What did Batman say to Robin after they got on the bus? We should have taken the batmobile.

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A young baby died.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree there was no monkey

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What did the little black boy get for Christmas? Hopefully something nice.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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Why did Joe not cross the road? Because the Pedestrian Crossing light said not to.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? About 1 or 2, then the neighbors would phone the police and you would be arrested for infanticide.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? when people don't understand the concept of anti-jokes and post real jokes

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Why did a white man get kicked out of the Olympics 2012¿ Because he did not have down syndrome

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::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

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Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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When geese fly in the "V" shape, why is one side longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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WILLY

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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