Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

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How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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whats black and doesnt work? a broken black toaster

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What would you like to drink? A Pepsi. Is Coca-Cola okay? No.

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What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

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What did the compliemantry peanuts say to the man? "Nice tie."

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Do you know what's funny? 9/11

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Suppose an American, an Indian, a dinosaur, and a leprechaun are on a plane together. Which one would be the first to chug a 7 pound bottle of coke? The situation is too unlikely, with the odds of it occurring being less than 1%, therefore the question cannot be answered accurately.

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Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

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knock knock ... no one was in

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Two jewish men walk into the butcher shop. They buy a pound of ground beef and nothing else.

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The awkward when you didn't actually say moment.

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your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? were both lawyer's.

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I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

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Tim likes girls

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What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

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Me: Ask me if in a giraffe You: Are you a giraffe Me: no

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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