what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

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How do you get a bear out of tree? You shoot it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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Why do redheads have red hair Because they were born like that.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was free-range.

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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What's not red? No tomatoes.

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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A guy asks someone's name. The other guy answer that his name is Steeve.

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An Irishman, a homosexual and a Jew walk into a bar. Paddy's really exploring his options lately.

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Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

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Why was Mary mucky? Because she was dragged to a field and raped

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 ate a dude's face.

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A man with a ski mask leaves a jewelry store He then goes back because he accidentally took the clerk's pen

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

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knock, knock whos there child molestor

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An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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A horse walks into a bar, it broke both its legs and was then put down.

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How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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