How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

Bake until golden at 375

your mommas so ugly it is affecting her self esteem!

Have you ever seen that really famous blind man's house? Neither has he.

Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the other side

My nipple is bleeding

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

Q: What is the difference between everything and nothing? A: everything! Moral: NOTHING!

Why was the Jimmy Sad? Because he had Autism.

What do an eagle and a badger have in common? They both live underground...except the eagle

Get in the Batmobile.

What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

women's rights

What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

What do you call a black man sitting on his porch in the middle of the night playing a guitar? A Musician.

What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

what's better than winning the special olympics?.. Not being retarded

Obama

Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

What do you call a blind fish? Amblyopsidae.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...