Why did the man have trouble breathing after meeting the President? He had a collapsed lung.

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why did the mushroom go to the party? because he`s a fungi

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

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Poop

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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Q. What does physiks sound to most of the people? A. There were two camels, one was green, how much does the sand weight when its dark?

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

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Why did Michael Vick run? Because he was being chased by defenders.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John, your son. Now open the door.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dad was a serious alcoholic who refused to go to rehab. Being an alcoholic constantly led to him beating the boy and his mother. Eventually, the boy couldn't handle this anymore, and he committed suicide. Realizing what he had done, the father also committed suicide. The mother is now locked away in a mental hospital, for she couldn't hold grasp of the deaths of her husband, and her son.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Why did the Jew die? Because Hitler was born...

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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A white guy, a black guy, and a Spanish guy jump off of a building. Due to acceleration of gravity, they hit the ground at a fast speed and die.

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It sucks if you have amnesia. It sucks if you have amnesia.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

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Q: what did the poor, blind, deaf, orphan girl get for Christmas? A: cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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