Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blond went to a barber to get her hair cut. She had her ear phones in and tolled the barber not to take her ear phones out at all. So the barber was swiching her ear phones to cut her hair then she fell asleep so the barber took both of her ear phones off for a minute and then she died

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why should you never trust anglers? Because they're always into fishy business... Why should you never trust hunters? Because they carry loaded guns...

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

one day i went on a swing, somone pushed me and i fell broke my leg,cracked three ribs, cut my lip, fractured my toe and died of internal bleeding to my brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

shut up kobe!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A dyslexic atheist stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do u call a black astronaut? An astronaut, you racist prick

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Their is a stripper, a prostitute, and a pole dancer on a plane that is about to crash. They all die.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didn't Charlie Sheen lose? Because he's always winning.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A house comes around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What did the crippled deaf kid get for Christmas? A: A motorised wheelchair and a cochlear implant. Good for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

did you know towels can cause dry skin?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a barrel full of monkeys? A game, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What walks on four in the morning, three at noon, and two at night? A baby with leprosy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops