Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for x-mas a bike

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Uh... What was emulating again?

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What is cold? Winter

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What is blue and not heavy? Light blue!

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What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

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What do you call a someone who steals from a black guy? A thief.

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Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

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Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple finding half a worm in your apple.

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what did the boy get after his first communion? unwanted intercourse with his priest that resulted in scaring him for life, until the day he killed himself because he could never get over it.

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Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

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Adam and Eve ate the apple and felt a bit ashamed and stuff. God looked upon them and said, well its just a fucking apple get outta here you kids! Adam and Eve also took things a bit too literal

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What's worse than finding a Holocaust in your apple? The worm

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butt sex

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what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

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Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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roses are red , thankyou for stating that , i can now continue with gardening as it is my profession.

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YOLO

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What is the greatest anti-joke ever told? I had it right here, but I lost it when I was being raped by a Triceratops.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops