What kind of toy do you give to a dead baby? A death rattle.

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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how did the girl with a hook-hand do her hair? She didn't

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

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How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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Anti jokes gives me cold sores

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What's the difference between 6 and 7? 1.

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what did the palatiespussy say to the asain how many cocaines did i say was a black pankakkkke MMMFUUCCK NORDSTRUM(CUM)

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A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red-head find a mirror with a message on it that says "Stand in front of the mirror and say something you think is true. If it is true, I'll grant you a wish. If it is wrong, you'll be sucked inside the mirror and be trapped there forever." The blonde, who is standing in front of the mirror, says "I think this is a stupid joke." and nothing happened.

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Poop.

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Why don't you ever stick your hand into the bottom of the jelly bean jar? Cuz' the black ones will steal your watch

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What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

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Why did the housewife become a farmer? Because the kitchen was burned down in a horrific accident.

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kieran scott peels his off his foreskin while he watches hentai porn then he eats it afterwards, he is also on roids

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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One time at band camp.............that's it........

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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