Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a Scottish bar and sits down. Another man sitting at the end of the bar recognizes him and says "Hello, I've heard of you, I must ask, how did you get your name?" He replies, "You see that wall out there, protecting the town? I built it with me own 2 hands, so they call me Jon the Wallbuilder.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what's the best part about twenty three year olds? There is twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first Monkey. Why did the third Monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the plane full of Arabs crash? One of The engines failed

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man walked into a store and asked if he could use the restroom. They found this acceptable and let him use it.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red Violets are blue I would love you But you are too ugly and overweight

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

KKK

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do black people love kool aid? It is cools them down on a warm summer day and it tastes great! OHHHH YEAAAAHHHHH

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops