How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

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Why don`t women need watches? Because in our modern society, there are many clocks in most locations.

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What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

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why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

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what do you call a disabled black man getting beat up? an unfortunate human

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

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what is worse than finding a worm in your apple being tricked by your best friend to mule drugs over the boarder and then imprisoned in a Vietnamese jail, where you will most likely will be traded for sex and other horrid act of sodomy, only to escape and work as a sex slave to earn your way home, because that is the life you know now there is no way out you will die here.

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panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm colorblind

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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What goes 100 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the black man have a Lamborghini in his garage? Because he got good grades in school, was accepted into a nice college, and earned a medical degree, which he used to get himself a well-paying job in the medical field.

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Your mother is a very respectable woman.

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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