Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

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Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Murder his family

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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What do u call a ginger man with no ears? What ever the hell u want Because he's deaf

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer..... I'm going to rip the scalp off of your son and where it on my face to a Cherokee Sacrificial Ceremony The other lawyer was actually a lightbulb

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Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

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What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction? Futurama only has one bender.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

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Hillary Clinton

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What does a Jewish Santa Clause say? This scenario is highly improbable as Jews celebrate Hanukkah and not Christmas.

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Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

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Why did the samurai commit Sepuku? Because it is an honorable Japanese tradition.

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How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

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TJE ELIAS, LÄGET?

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: The holocaust

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Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

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A white man walked in da hood aaand he never came back

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? With a blindfold

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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