A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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Q:So there's a black guy and a mexican sitting in a car...who's driving? A: The Cop

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What did the people say to each other when they ate the orange? Orange you glad I didn't eat you:) HAHAHAA orange you glad that I am good at telling jokes!

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this is not a joke.

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So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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Wanna hear a joke? Once upon a time, there was a successful Mexican.

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One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid the avoid the nuclear bomb at hiroshima

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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Y

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Whats the square root of x^2? Variables cant be gay

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What did one cancer patient say to the other? Nothing, both of them were dead.

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What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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A Jewish man walks into an ice-cream shop. Using the money he ha eared from his full time job, he orders a chocolate ice-cream in a waffle cone.

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

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One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

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What did the mentally disabled child say to the snowman? Mnnghhhmuhmuhhu ooh ooh ooh!

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My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops