Wanna hear a joke? Your contact list.

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why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

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Q: How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? A: 2, one to hold the light bulb and the other to turn the ladder

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Yo mamma so mexican she brought tacos to the dinner table

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How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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bob saget

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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an ethopian thanksgiving

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whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it had earlier escaped from its cage and had since began to wonder around the local town

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Why wasn't Will invited to the party? Will has been dead for 3 years.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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why did the woman commit suicide? because 2+2=4

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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I had a great joke to tell you. I didn't want people stealing my ideas so I didn't write it. Haha

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Roses are cars, violets are rude, this poem makes no sense, neither do you

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me, Dave. You still wanna go to the movies? Oh, yeah...let me grab my wallet.

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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