How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

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How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

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There once was a man from Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He then shortly died in his sleep due to heart failure at the age of 81.

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Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

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You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

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One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

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What do you call a black guy who walks into your house and takes your stuff. A repoman, pay your taxes next time

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

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Men, get on the boat.

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What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

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What is the best place to get watermelons and fried chicken? A Watermelon grove and a popeyes and/or KFC

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how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

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A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? You are you.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Why can't Michael Jackson swim? Because he is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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