How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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What happens when you cross a porcupine, a beaver, a duck, a go-cart, a dinosaur, a star, a cheap "Big 'n Beey" bathroom, and the cookie monster? Justin Bieber. XD

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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69

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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What do you get when you add a cucumber some vinegar some salt and you get..... Macaroni and cheese

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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I EAT YOUR SOUL. NOM NOM.

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Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe, all mimsy were the borogoves and the momeraths outgrabe

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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whats worse than war? being tied to a chair and watch your parents die.

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What's funnier than a comedic movie? Genocide

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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Ask me if I'm God.. Dude, we all know you're not God.

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Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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