What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happens when Chuck Norris jumps in the air? He lands.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what does a black car sound like when it starts? RUN-NIGGA-NIGGA-NIGGA-NIGGA -GRANT PARK ALL THE WAY

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the girl drop her vannlia ice cream? Vannlia Ice punched her for being cool as ice.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's more annoying than a mosquito? the Sandy Hook Massacre

thumb_up thumb_down -41

how long has dibey got left like :)

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did John's girlfriend get him for their 5 year anniversary? Proactive because his acne bothers her.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the fat chick have a camel toe? She was half camel

thumb_up thumb_down -10

My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

thumb_up thumb_down

how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

thumb_up thumb_down +40

I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Picture This, you are going down the freeway in a yellow four-door banana, going 75 mph and all 4 tires blow out, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Theres no bones in ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many illegal immigrants does it take to change a lightbulb? Why should his legal status matter at all in this situation?

thumb_up thumb_down +305

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Losing a family member in 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Knock knock Who's there No one We are all on the computer

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops