Roses are red, foxes are clever, I like your butt, let me touch it forever!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear made her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

women playing football?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Do you know what my favorite rhetorical question is?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock Whos there? The Police, your mother just died of bowel cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

do u like chicken ? ....no good...cuz its for black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Knock Knock *no answer* Knock Knock *Genevieve enters the house with curiosity and is later charged with Breaking and Entering*

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: whats a bunny's favorite music genre A: smooth jazz

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Man: Did it hurt? Woman: huh? Man: Did it hurt when i killed your family?

thumb_up thumb_down

hey im leon and i love the chuckie

thumb_up thumb_down -17

(Pretend that your adopted, and no one loves you) Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's 100 times worse that finding an worm in your Apple listening to Justin B. Sing! :-)

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did one socially awkward kid say to another socially awkward kid? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops