How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

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If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

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How do u make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face

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Q: What did the Rapist say to the Little girl before they got in to the Van? A: Get In the Van

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What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

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How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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Dear Rubix Cube, DONE!! Sincerely, Colorblind

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When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

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what is the only death better than asama bin ladin JUSTIN BIEBER'S

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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What computer sings the best? A Dell? No a Mac, because they are the superior computer.

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roses are red violets are blue my cat died and i have alsheimers who are you

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Fine, Nero7 made sure I got to a safe place at least. My code is "Eliza", that is all, please provide me with whatever information you can regarding what happened, and while I read you are not shy of graphical detail, I ask that you keep it lightly, Nero7 meant much to me, please. -"Veronica.

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Why did Dolley Madison take the painting of George Washington out of the White House in 1814. It was on fire. By, Luke Atkins

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What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

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What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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person 1:hello person 2:hello person 1:do you want to hear a joke ? person 2:yes person 1:good bye person 2:good bye

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What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

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whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

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there was once a jew

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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