What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

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why didnt the boys drink the coffee? because she coughed on it

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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-What did the duck say to Federico Costa nearby the phonebox in a rainy day? -Quack

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What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

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professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

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Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I have to take off my boots to jump on the trampoline.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue when I saw you what the heel are you

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Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

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KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

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"....did he fire six shots or only five....." It doesn't really matter, considering he will die of blood loss soon

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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flip flop chop, clip clop cow, POW. hahahahahah. :).

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What's big and black? A black fridge.

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whats difference between womens rights now and 10 years ago? nothing, they are both just lies men tell women to make them feel good.

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A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally!

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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there's a few black guys in a car, who's driving? their dad because they're kids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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