womens rights

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Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

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Rebecca Black just died, she walked into a stadium and was overwhelmed by the amount of seating choices.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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Why is Digimon better than Pokemon? It has a better story and character development.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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What's the diffrence between a pizza and a black man. One is human being while the other is an inanimate food source.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

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Stephen Hawking can walk

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once upon a time, it snowed

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you'r mom is so fat that whenever she goes to the doctors, they are concerned about her cholesterol levels and high blood pressure.

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How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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Dancing Potatoe!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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