Did you hear the one about the man who fell asleep on the job? He woke up.

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Why did billy have a bruse? Because he got smacked with a belt. -Louis

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

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why was the woman in the kitchen? she was being held hostage there by Bob Saget

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whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

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Vaginal secretions

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

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How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

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How does camon Die? He kills himself because he didnt make it into the marine corps

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out it's an orange

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its all shi.ts and giggles.... ......until someone giggles and s.hits

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uas;ugbasrG "khVESGF;OQWAEFH;OASEHFO;SAEFUASUusa;uefSOEHFSOEHDF;oasehf;oasehf;uoashvo;uasfo'H EF;owefhoaw;sefoasjefpiwaejf MINTY FRESGH

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Paul Dylan King!

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it lost Consciousness.

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What did batman say to the Joker? I'm Batman

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What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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imadewords

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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