Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Two black guys walked into a bar. And they killed everybody.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

DON’T HIT KIDS!!! NO, SERIOUSLY, THEY HAVE GUNS NOW. Via: Pingzic collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

thumb_up thumb_down +15

once i was a dog and u were a flower........... i raised my leg and gave u a shower :)

thumb_up thumb_down -17

An irishman walks into a bar and orders a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is worse than the holocaust? A worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the man and woman do in bed together? Sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do people in Asia do for black history month? Nothing, black history month is an American thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Jake did Why did Isaac cross the road? Because mum told him not to Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Maya was there

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops