Why did the girl cross the road? She didn't. Well, she tried but when she was halfway there, she was hit by a bus and had to be rushed to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

its funny cuz i laughed!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Two dogs walk into a room. What a fine example of two dogs walking into a room.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

42

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

thumb_up thumb_down

What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why do homeless people smell bad? A: Because they live on the street and they dont take showers it's very sad sometimes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The Police then give the S.W.A.T team the signal, and bust down the door and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door is Carlos Pedrojeuz, a serial killer, meth addict who has been a part of the sex slave trade for a decade. One might think of answering the door next time.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What do you call a tub full of water? A bathtub!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Japanese woman walks into a Korean deli, and asks the Korean man if she can buy some groceries. They are able to get past their cultural differences, and share their favorite recipes.

thumb_up thumb_down

If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

thumb_up thumb_down -123

what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

One day a there was a guy walking down the street. If you thought this was a joke, you're wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does the black guy say to his black friend? "I like Watermelon, Grape Drink, and Fried Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A nig-ger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nig-gers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nig-ger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nig-ger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nig-ger, go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nig-ger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nig-ger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nig-gers, smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

thumb_up thumb_down

a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the tree say to the other tree?....nothing cause trees can't talk!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops