What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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Why was the black man picking cotton? Because he was in an area where slavery is a socially and morally accepted practice.

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

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why didnt the llama eat the string bean? Becuz he was a vegetarian

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

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what is juicy and smells like juice,but it is not juice? juice. i lied about it not being juice.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

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What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

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You mothers so ghetto, you died.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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what do you call someone with one arm? Handicapped.

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Q.Want to hear somthing that will never happen A. Sure A. the Houston Astros won a game.

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Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

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Your mother is so ugly that your father no lomger finds her attractive

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What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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