Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

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Q: How did the black man die? A: He got hit by a car, and we all know that this is painful.

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

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i am blue you are red ive got a face look at it look at it i say

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Your Mom is so poor she can't afford home-owners insurance.

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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A Jew throwing a dime into a wishing well? Highly unlikely.

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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What do a black man and a cop have in common? They are both not cabbages.

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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why was the old woman angry? fig pudding.

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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So, Elvis walks into a bathroom...

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ANDERS!! Thanks for the warnins, I mean I wuld beat you up even when I can barely move, but I just told the doc and the nurse to shut this door, thanks man, would never thought about that if you had not warned me... beat me up when I am poisoned? Your mom replied, it sasy "I do not like the idea" You know what I told you about not right? DO NOT THINK ABOUT A blue elephanT! WOSH BLUE ELEPGANT IN YOur MIND, ITS LIKE SAYING I AM NOT INTEREsted in KNOWING MUCH MORE! Your sister? YOu know she has a crush on me, ill fuck her so hard youul will know when she wont be able to walk straight or sit YES Id meet you, but you know... Ladies first... PS: OF Co0uRse iTS mY dick, in her mouth, it looks wrong because I AM FULL ON VALIUM YOu POISONOUS VENOM I wont turoture you, I mean not physically, but consider this the first picture, and if you want to see your mom and sister nekkid, then keep receiving picks. My skin is tan, yet they call me Black, the cloror of my soul. read below people, I am gonna bang his sistar, and his mom, watch out for the nekkid pics before they get removed on... Rate my ex, yeaaaah... any moment now, dont adress me anymore Anders, becuz the door is closed, and I cant saty awak anymore, nobody is coming in the doc said, its the bald guy with the smile, I told him to give you my phone with the last pic, he said maybe and asked if you wound nt get mad... Screw that phone, its full of your girlfriends nekkid pics anyways XD, he caught me sticking the finger btw, not the rest... And fuck you. Nero, the fucker.... Soon...

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Hey I just met you, and this is Crazy, but I think I Love You, so have my baby! ;)

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How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

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I'm going as the joker for halloween

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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