How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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Yo mama so fat, she gonna die soon.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

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How to find if your overweight? Ask your friend to make a big clay volcano, out of baking soda and vinegar. While its erupting if you're too busy eatin five course dinner. FAT

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A guy orders soup at the resturant and says to the waiter, "will you try this soup?" The waiter says "what is it too hot?" the guy says "just try the soup." the waiter asks "Is it too cold?" the guy sais just try the soup." the waiter says "fine, where's the spoon?" AHAHHH!!!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why can't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

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I was approached the other day by an officer as he asked... "Son where are your parents?" I replied, "I dont know i'm an orphan" The officer then laughed and walked away

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what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

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You know what's funny? A well told joke

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car!

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Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

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If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

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whats black and white and red all over? this joke.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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