Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +58

The government

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

An eyeball walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he would like. The bartender promptly wakes up in jail because he was caught having a meth lab in his basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

thumb_up thumb_down -19

#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

thumb_up thumb_down +13

yo mama's so fat her stomach mass weighs more than people who dont have as much fat as her.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +39

ask me if im a door yes

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do blacks run away from whites? Because god told all people to never go to the light.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Im sitting in class trying to write a joke. I should be writing my speech But i'm better off trying to think of the funniest joke that could get on the front page with over 9000 likes :( Lol nah thats never going to happen :'(

thumb_up thumb_down -18

One kid says I've had threw bottles of water and I haven't had to go to the bathroom. His friend says may have a urinary tract infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Iggy Azalea

thumb_up thumb_down -16

An Asian person drove home safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock,Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, his personal trainer designed a regiment for him that didn't involve them.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

¿melano?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A homosexual walks into a church

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops