How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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What did Hitler say to the lady right next to him before the both committed suicide? I don't know, I don't understand German. I also wasn't there.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage?

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Female Orgasms

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Q: What did the serial rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She had no arms or legs Knock knock who's there? Not sally

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

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whats worse than 911 nothing you cant beat 911that sucked

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Roses are Red Violets are plucked So are my nose-hairs Pretty disgusting

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What do you say to a black man with a gun? Don't shoot me.

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What's the difference between a jew and pizza? A Jew is human and pizza is food.

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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why did sally drown cause she was black

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Why did the baby fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms.

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Why didn't the firefighter put out the fire? Because he wasn't a very good firefighter.

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... whats worst than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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