1,2,3,4,5... 6.

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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Why did the runner stop farting in the middle of his run? He ran out of gas.

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Manchester City

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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Felix? The Lucky cat? That is the only thing that comes to mind, I am dead tired, but I really don't mind staying up until I cant anymore physically, as for mentally I am getting pretty bad as for company.

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And you honored it I see :P

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How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

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What do you call a orange BAD GRAMMER

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How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

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What do you call an old man who took too much viagra? And ambulance, because he could possibly get a heart attack from the fluctuations in blood pressure

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

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Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

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What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

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what do you call your mom? mom

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When is the right time to have sex with a 16 year old? After consent from her parents

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops