What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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What do you call a really bad band? Nickelback.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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So what do you guys wanna do?? Anything, I still have cancer..

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What did the innocent little girl get for Christmas? Lymphoma.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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whats the difference between slade , and wizard? wham

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YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

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roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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