Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the mother do when she found out the baby was stillborn? Gave it a proper burial, grieved for months and became a shell of her former self.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Those who can't teach... Aren't teachers.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the blind quadriplegic get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An indian boy gets a girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Wanna here a funny joke? Will is straight HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hes gay

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a black pilot? A niigger

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the blonde kid that was really gay He got a bad case of HIV

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Last night I had the strangest dream. I was eating a big marshmallow and when I woke up this morning I had appendicitus

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops