A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: What do cows do on the weekends? A: They go to the Moovies Q:What do pigs do on the weekends? A:Go Bowling

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock. Whose there. We have a warrant for your arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the child molestor do? He went home and molested children.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Adam eats ginger nuts the fookin chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -10

That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Jesse gives his mom the stick for breakfast

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Sgt. Richard, here... your son was raped many times by Iranian soldiers, then forced to make love to many goats and had his limbs chopped off.. he will never be able to walk, talk or poop without assistance again. OH MY GOD, NO!.. WHY!!! Haha just kidding mam, he stepped on a landmine and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Henry jump of a cliff? He was in deep depression.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two men are fighting in a boxing match. One gets punched in the crouch, cries, and goes home to watch "The Simpsons".

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

whats the difference between justin beiber and a gay guy? both guys and girls like gay guys

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops