Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

Did you know Hellen Keller's dog ran away? You would have to if your name was RaAeltraERKAERMaelaefa

A man walks into a bar Ouch

A man says to another man, "Why the long face?" He then replies, "I have an elongated face, hands, and feet due to acromegaly."

Why did Susie fall off the swing Because she had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there... Not Susie Why did the plane crash Susie was flying it

Call me a banana. You're a banana. No I'm not

whats white and sticky glue

dude ur such a bon of a sitch

what do u call a gay dinosaur megasoreass

Whats the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? The Ferrari isn't in my garage.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas?... A warm meal, a shower, and a place to sleep courtesy of the local homeless unit.

Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

What do you call a black man with a hammer in his head? Dead.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

why did the Mexican fall and not the black man. i don't know, go ask the Asian.

what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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