Grace Ackerson

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? It is rapidly becoming outdated and most cellphones these days have the time, but if they like the style they are free to use one.

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What did the old man say to kid who was begging to his mommy? Shut up.

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A black guy and a mexican guy are in a car, Who's driving. A policeman.

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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What is a chair?

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Well, there's one way...

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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A black guy gets arrested...

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

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Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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How do you get two whales in a car? You can't. Whales are very large creatures and cannot fit into anything that size.

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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A chicken walks into a barn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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