A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

thumb_up thumb_down +35

That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I told a joke to my friends. They laughed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did the crow say do the dead gazelle? - nothing the crow ate it

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's stupid a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

when trouble come down in your neighborhood who you gonna call? the local law enforcement or another form of personal protection

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down

a man walked into a bar and said ow

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Zach Murfitt has a small Willy!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Netball.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops