Q:What is the difference between a Blonde and a Ginger? A: Hair Color

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Why was six afraid of seven? He was wanted for murder.

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Why did Robert fall off his bike?? Because he was a potato.

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LIE

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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Why did the skeleton cross the street. He didn't.

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Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

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How do Ethiopians celebrate Christmas? They don't there to worried about dying from Aids and starvation

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Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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An American, a Canadian, and a Scottish man died in a horrible car accident. Their story was used as a lesson to keep teenagers from drunk driving.

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There were two oranges in a bowl. One orange said to the other "Hello my orange friend". The other orange screamed because he did not know oranges could talk.

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Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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