Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih tzu? A new breed of dog.

A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

What ended the black family's picnic? Rain.

Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

25

holocaust is bad but its funny when you use it as a joke hehe

GONNA

Is your plant made out of Osmium, Molybdenum, Silicon and Sulfur? Because it's going through OsMoSiS. That was just a joke, not a pick up line. Unless I was giving a pick-up line to your plant, which I definitely wasn't...

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

What do you call a horse with no eyes? A horse with no eyes.

A gay man came out 5 years ago, he also has not heard his farts since... He lost his ears in a boating accident that same year

Whyd the girl fall of her bike? She rode over a curb

Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication.

What happens when you shoot a bear and you kill it? It dies.

the canadian, the chinese man, and the black guy walk into the at different times and buy different things

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get away from a gigantic tiger slowly stalking him

why did the woman commit suicide? because 2+2=4

Why did the gitl fail her cooking class? Because she was abused and severely beaten by her teacher

A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says, I'm sorry but you have about four to six months to live. The man goes home and checks his million dollar life insurance policy.It expires in three months.

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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