a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

What happens when lady gaga and chris brown jump into the pool at the same exact time. They get wet

what does hi = good by cause person doesn't like you.

What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

I hate chocolate. I hate it so much. It sickens me. The only thing I hate more than chocolate is people that like chocolate. I hate them even more. Do you know what happened to the last person I met that liked chocolate? NOTHING

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

What's the difference between Justin Beiber and gay people? Quite a bit, actually, because Justin Beiber is one person, and "gay people" is a community.

Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

What are the seven wonders of Kentuky cows,drugs,liquor,moutain due,moster trucks,shot guns and trucks oh and I for got Crackle barrle.

How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

your mammas so fat tha-- my mother is dead. oh... sorry.

What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

Hello

What's the difference between a chicken and a 3 legged dog? There are numerous differences. I will not however go into the biological explanations of these differences.

A man walked into a bar and asked if he could use the toilet The bartender told him that it was for paying customers only The man walked up to the bartender, ordered a drink and then proceeded to go to the toilet He came back feeling refreshed, finished his drink and said his goodbyes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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