Why did the Chicken cross the road? Since when is it any of your business? Cant we live in a world where chickens can cross the road freely without having there motives questioned?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Wrong. What doesn't kill you could leave you in a parapledgic state.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Lil Wayne's rapping career

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

thumb_up thumb_down +1

im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

thumb_up thumb_down +2

One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops