what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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If you share rice between 30 Africans what do they each have? Aids.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? There are many, no human being is exactly alike.

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What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

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It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "Damn, it's getting hot in here." The other muffing replies "Holy Shit! A Talking Muffin!"

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Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock-eater.

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What is meant by the term 'Biological control''? Not ending up on the Jeremy Kyle Show.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? Their both purple. except for the rabbit

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What did the baby get for its 1st birthday? Nothing it was aborted.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was free-range.

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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Q: What do you call a Deer with no eyes? A: No ideer. Q; What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A: Still no ideer.

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

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a woman gets hit by a motorcycle whose fault was it?......... the man's, he shouldn't have driven the motorcycle in the kitchen

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You're as useful as Baby P's dummy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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