What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

What is black and is good at stealing stuff? a ninja.

A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

A bear just broke into my house and im scared…...... Oh wait thats just my 350 pound teacher… now i'm even scareder

What do you call a gay scientologist? His first name or last name, depending on how close you 2 are.

How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

Who invented the Iceberg Salad? The Titanic

Why did the suicidal terrorist swim with fish? He heard the SEALS we coming for him.

What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

A guy walks into a bar. He orders a coke. The bartender looks at the gentlemen with a little smile and says "Just a coke?"

whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

What did the homeless man do with his trolley full of aluminium cans, He took them to the scrapyard and sold them as this is his only source of income right now

Roses are red violets are blue we're stuck together like superglue roses go brown violets go darker cut the crap and the stupid laughter...I just went through a breakup

A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

woman's rights

Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

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John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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