Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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How are people and jelly beans similar? No one likes the black ones

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Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

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there once was a man from Afghanistan. Who wanted to bang his brother-istan. they licked and sucked. and kissed then f**ked, he got aids. and never did that-again!

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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Roses are red Violets are red The trees are red Oh crap, the garden's on fire.

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i can't stand cripple jokes

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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whats better then a pile of dead babies? 2 piles of dead babies

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

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How does Batman's mom call him home for supper? Nothing. Batman's mom is dead.

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Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

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What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are....

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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