Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the big traffic light say to the little traffic light? It didnt it's a traffic light.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what is the differents between a baby and a watermelon one is fun to hit the other is just a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do a black person and a monkey have in common? A. They both are organism that need food and water to survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Pain Olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

arse

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the wall say to the other wall? I didn't say anything because it isn't living and it can't talk because it is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What's your dog's name ? A: Dog. Q: What's your cat's name ? A: Cat. Q: What's your dick's name A: Pinky

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q:What happened to the fat man that rode a roller coaster? A:He had fun

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's cold and icy? Ice

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did 6 hook up with 7 ?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the chair brake? because a car smashed into it. where did it go? all the way to china. whats 3+4? why did the Chinese man get this wrong? Because a chair was in his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops