Why did the cook put rubber bands in the spaghetti Because he was an asshole

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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Two gorillas walked into a bar and it hurt

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Why do African-American people like fried chicken and watermelon? Because they are delicious food items.

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A man walks up to another man and asks what time it is. He then replies " It's 2:00" The man then pulls out a sandwich and eats it

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What the man from the arapahoe tribe say to the mexican who was living in a trash bag? You should try a hotel room. They comfortably sleep 67-493 mexicans.

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Quick its the weed hide the cops! ... wait...

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What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

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How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Darnell has a 2 ounce gold chain around his neck. Gold is worth $1,639 per ounce. Where did Darnell steal the gold chain from?

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Two women were sitting in silence.

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What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

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A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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Mr Webb *Hit keyboard loudly* -...

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what do u call a guy with 4 nipples? Hairy Styles

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Photons have mass? i didn't even know they were catholic.

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Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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