Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Ancient Greeks rights

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"What do you call a man who has bumblebee wings and fire for blood?" (The doctor on the other line has no answer. Tom desperately weeps into the phone, trying to grasp his sudden transformation. He finds no reassurance, and hangs up the phone.)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You know what is not cool? Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do mexicans need to survive............. a truck load of herowin and BOARDERS!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why are some people so awesome? Because their black.

thumb_up thumb_down

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why is there a hole in the wall, i hope a prehistoric mole doesnt come out of that hole in the ball CC

thumb_up thumb_down +21

So this old redneck is sitting on his porch when he sees this boy walking down the road and hollers "What you got there boy?" "Chicken wire." "What you gonna do with that?" "Gonna catch me some chickens." The old guy thought: Dumb boy. You can't catch no chickens with chicken wire. Later that evening he sees the same boy walking with a bunch of chickens. The next day he sees the same boy walking with duct tape. "What you got there boy?" "Duct tape" The boy replies. "Gonna catch me some ducks." The old man leaned back and thought. "Dumb boy, you can't catch ducks with duct tape." Later that evening he sees the boy walking with a bunch of ducks. The next day he sees the same boy and hollers: "What you got there boy?" "I got me some pussy willow." The old man hollers: "Hold on, let me get my hat."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

wanna hear a joke? asians with t i t s

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Where is Osama now? Telling this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the boy stop working on a farm? His country became more economically developed.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did one bum way to the other? we're shit out of luck

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter it's not going to come to you anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you get when John pulls your toe off the waterfall and takes three from an caramel? -6 to the power of golf.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops