My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia Roses are red

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Poker? I barely even know her.

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What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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Why did Sarah limp to school? Because she got hit by a tree

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

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A woman says Renae has a butt... Two men say we don't care we have her hammer. True story.

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Lebron Traveled

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A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

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What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

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here kitty kitty

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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