Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas. A key chain.

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the kid kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

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Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

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What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

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what do you call a black lawyer? a very well educated black man

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being in an abusive relationship.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your grandpa's dead So are you.

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Tin is a chemical element with symbol Sn (for Latin: stannum) and atomic number 50. It is a main group metal in group 14 of the periodic table. Tin shows chemical similarity to both neighboring group-14 elements, germanium and lead, It is also the material Aodhan's house is made from.

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Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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