What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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How do you keep a black man inside? Shoot his leg.

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What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

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Wha....You probably shouldnt read the rest of this because i lie a lot (This joke deserves lots of thumbs and comments!)

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just sit down and dont be a Jew

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What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

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what kind of sex did ethan have? webcam sex

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

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Ching Chong Chinaman sitting on a wall. Along came the white man and greeted him hello.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? A: Get in the car.

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what do u say to a girl after you have sex with her? i like cheese

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Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

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Why was the boy walking in circles? One of his feet was nailed to the floor...

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why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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What's black and hangs from a rope on a tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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What do you call an German with a knife in his leg ? An ambulance as he has a serious leg wound and will soon die of blood loss

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A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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