Knock Knock. F uck off.

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Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

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i committed murder

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Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

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I need a way to meet local babes and get ripped in 4 weeks. Shame there aren't any popularly advertised methods of doing that around here...

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What has nine arms and sucks? Four children with two arms snacking on a lollipop, and one child with one arm snacking on a lollipop.

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Roses are Violets, Violets are Roses, I am a dumb ass, The Hobbit.

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I'm HIV positive.

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someone called someone else a frog

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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Why did the Muslim kill a gay guy? Because the gay guy was threatening his family with a gun.

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What kind of Juice do White supremacists Hate the most? Minute Maid.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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what is worse - this joke or the last one? what is worse still - sex what is worster - nothing that's not a real word what is wurst? a type of sausage

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what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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