Stephen Hawking

thumb_up thumb_down +17

pickle sniffer

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why are tree's green cause that's how god made it

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Hail Heetluh

thumb_up thumb_down -3

That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +145

What did Osama Bin-Laden say on 9/11? JENGA!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances they had to go home early one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends

thumb_up thumb_down -15

when you smile the whole world stops and stares for a while because you have one tooth and its half chipped.. and your a black mexican red head.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the koala bear fall outta the tree? He died. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?? He was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?? He had no arms. Why did the fourth koala fall out of the tree?? He thought it was a race to the bottom. Why did the fifth koala fall out of the tree?? Peer Pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

thumb_up thumb_down +16

how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles always smile? Because they enjoy there life even though there both blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What happened to your hamster? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says wow its hot in here the other muffin said HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops