What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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Your Mom is so fat... I'm sorry I didn't mean that.. I have abandonment issues.

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dislike this...please.

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What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

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Mitt Romney penis

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When life throws lemons at you, just give up and commit suicide!

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because seven "eight" nine. Yeah, I went there.

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What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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Thats what she said

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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What is better than AIDS? Cancer.Cancer and more cancer

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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P0P T4Rt

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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Hair

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What did I eat for my breakfast? My breakfast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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