Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

Q. why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton? A. it said concentrate.

a man walked into a bar....

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Yo mama is so fat when she went to the fat contest they said SORRY no pros alowed

what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

Q: What did the Black man say to the kool ade Man? A: You're not real -BonkersLive

What did little Timmy get for Christmas? Abandoned

What did the man with tourettes yell on an airplane? He yelled bomb, and was gunned down by 2 federal marshals, one of which's stray bullets happened to hit a small child with autism.

yo mama so fat she had to eat healthy food and exercise daily

Why did the Flintstones have Christmas? The Flintstones celebrated Christmas because the creator, William Hanna, celebrated it. As it is a kids TV show, you can't expect it to be factually correct.

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

Why did the girl fall of the swing? Because she was shot in the face by a lone gunman.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, a poor african child probably has nothing and is starving to death while you and Chuck debate on how to spend your five dollars.

What's worse than a paper-cut? Two paper-cuts. What's worse than two paper-cuts? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three paper-cuts.

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Alister Darling plucks his eyebrows.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than The Holocaust? TEN HOLOCAUSTS? What's worse then TEN HOLOCAUSTS? THE END OF THE WORLD

Jack and Jeff went up a hill to fetch a pail of water, They both turned gay, and had some sex, and now they have HIV

whats worse than a bee sting, two bee stings, whats worse than two bee stings, the holocaust, whats worse than the holocaust, tree bee stings...

Three women are sitting in a bar. One is drinking beer, one is drinking wine and one is drinking vodka. Which one is the widow? The one whose husband is dead.

a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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