So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

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When does George Harrison take a shit? In the morning

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What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's cheese.

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whats brown and sticky a stick

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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What's a slang term for a really, really fat person? Overweight.

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What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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Why did the man name his son David? He didn't. It was his wife's choice.

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What did everyone call the ginger kid? Jimmy as that was his name...

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What do you call a bear with no fur? A taco.

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

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2001, 2 airplains fly into the world trait centers. the pilots then had their licences taken away.

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josh roberts you speccy cuunt

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Why did the Egg turn Purple Because it didnt turn blue.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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Chlamydia

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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asians have slitted eyes lol

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Why did the couple stop at the stop sign? Because it's the law.

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Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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