What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

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why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

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What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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What was the Latino man doing on my laptop? He was my friend and he had asked me first. He was also ordering a computer on amazon for himself.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally!

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Why was Bill Clinton such a good president? He went to ifreeclub.com

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I never knew I was dyslexic. Then one day I showed up to a toga party dressed as a goat.

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What did the black guy say to the Jewish guy when it began to rain? It's raining.

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Why was Michael Jackson seen shopping at Kmart? Because he heard little boys pants were 50% off the original price.

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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FORTY SECONDS!!!!!!

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What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? However many needed.

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What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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whats worse than being payton johnson being black

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What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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