Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What's long and gray and kills people? A: A gas pipe.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock ************************** No-one's home

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What was the comment at the bottom of this anti joke? come up with a better anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

thumb_up thumb_down +45

what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock, Knock. I have no door.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for him. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed Nextel to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

So there is a white guy and a jewish guy walking, they find a penny on the ground who takes it? The white guy because he is in debt.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 5 dollars he would have 10 dollars

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Whats worse than 3 black guys. 4 black guys.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You know what's gay? Grabbing another man's penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops