A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a nice evening.

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why was the old woman angry? fig pudding.

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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Doctor, Doctor. I feel like a pair of curtains! That's the least of your problems. You've got AIDS.

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man:"gullible is written on the celling" boy looks up

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room? A: Depends on how hard you can throw.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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what did the lawyer say to the doctor? hello.

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Mommy, Mommy, I don't like Daddy! Well leave him on the side of the plate and eat your peas instead!

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

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What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

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When my brother was hanging at YOUR cross, he asked "daddy" "Oh father why!" Then lightning struck and the weather went to fuck. Moral: WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?

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Why did a black man bring a baseball bat to a white man's apartment? Because he was stopping by his friends house before heading to a rousing game of baseball.

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Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Roses are red viloets are blue mw3 sucks and bf3 is good

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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Q. Why did the black man get sent to prison? A. Because he was falsely accused of murder.

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Women's rights

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Why did the black 10 year old miss school? Because his grandmother just had a severe heart attack and the whole family is coming in to visit and pay their last respects.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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