What do you call a black person with dandruff.... A lamington

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A guy walks into a bar and says "hey can I get a strong drink" and the bartender says "no we don't allow blacks in this bar" and he was then pushed to the ground and thrown out.

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A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't sexual abuse, which her sister had experienced while traveling around the world in 2007.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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Q.What do you call a black man flying a plane? A. A black pilot you racist bastard

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Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle

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what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

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Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

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What did the black man say when he noticed his crack was missing? I guess they fixed the sidewalk while I was at work.

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If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

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Yo mama smells so bad that she has no friends and killed herself.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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420

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What do you call a black cop? Officer.

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Your mother is so old that she is dead.

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If it looks like a chicken and acts like a chicken, its most likely not a deadly crab running towards you with a knife that has rabies and is afraid of towels.

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What's a lil plus a lot A little more then a lot

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Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

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Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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