Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

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What I have learned about the Japanese studying video games and anime (read below for more, better studies): Student at school: USING PENN TO TYPU! USING PEN TO TYPU! Teacher: No Susaki San! You must onry yell the name of attakus! You suspension get! Student: JOSH! I CHARRENGE YOU TO MORTAR KOMBAT! Teacher: KAAAAAAAAMEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEE! Student: FINAL FRAAAAAAASH! Student and teacher: Locked into energy wave combat for several hours. Teacher: Puh... Lets rather settle this with a round of Shaolin Soccer... Student: VICTOLY! Me: Well I saw a disturbing lot of Japanese people cosplay dressed as zangief... Skinny guys with fake chesthair and red hair that kept posing with their (nonexistent) muscles and yelling RED CYCRONE! Wanting me to take pictures of them... And Japanese lolitas, and blonde girls called Ganguro... Weirdest trip ever... They also kept Looking at Emanuel my (black) friend, and assumed he was my servant... Conclusion: My real trip to Japan was not so different from my above example as one might think...

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Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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What do the Mexican man, the Asian man and the Jewish man all have in common? "man"

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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Ching Chong Chinaman is sitting on a wall. People make fun of his name because it is so unusual.

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How do you get a one armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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A pink bird and a pink elephant was out flying. Then something happened.

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A Muslim boards a plane with his three sons. Everything goes well, because most on the plane are racially tolerant.

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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Yo mama's has so much acne, I decided to give her proactive.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chu... Forget this, this is overused.

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knock knock whos there Aids, now you've got it

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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oh whatever Greece isn't going to leave the eurozone shut up about it already

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What did the Anti-Semitic man say to the Jewish man beside him? Hello.

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Lets go Detroit Pistons!

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

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John Rustenburg at the dinner table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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