Ask this to your friend. "Yo man, I really need your help on this question. Can you tell me color comes after 9?" guaranteed "wtf"

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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brandon ya twwat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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Do you think people can change? No. They can change their mind.

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Caramel Boing.

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Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

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Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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why did the black man leave his home because there was a hurricane that would have killed him if he stayed.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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why did Sally fall of the swing....she had no arms. knock knock who's there? NOT Sally.....

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Do you know why children in Africa don't read Harry Potter too much? Because they can't read.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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What's sad about a mexican man dying in a car crash? He had a family that loved and cared for him.

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whats worse than 911 nothing you cant beat 911that sucked

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Dear Board of education, so are we.

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What do you call a woman with a black eye and several cuts on her face? The police and perhaps a social help hotline. She now feels safer and more secure and will go on to lead a happy life thanks to you speaking out on her behalf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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