What did the blonde do when she missed bus 40? She waited 30 minutes for it to come back around again.

What happen to the man who got drunk and passed out behind the wheel? He crashed into a tree, his car caught fire and then he got incinerated.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a cage being carried by a farmer.

What is similar to an orange?? A tangerine.

Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

Why was the boy mentally retarded? Because his mother was a tree

A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

What's worse than a baby in a car accident? The baby survives and has a mental problem, grows up, and then drives the same car and gets in another accident.

What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

What has four legs, but cannot walk? A giraffe with polio.

A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

There was this fruit joke, but it had no punchline.

What does the cookie monster and the blue man group have in common? They are both homosexually active

I walked into a Mcdonald's and ordered a Big Mac. I regretted it later.

Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

Why is it hard to see a black man in the night? Because its dark out, and he's BLACK.

Two condoms walk into a gay bar. The people in the bar are perplexed that two inanimate objects are capable of locomotion.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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