Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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A guy walks into a bar and falls.

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"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

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What's grey and can't climb trees? A parking lot.

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What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

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i am writing this because i felt like it.

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What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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What's been hit millions of times? A woman married to an abusive husband.

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Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

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who was the alien over LA? adalia rose

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

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daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

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Cheese stick

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why was the carrot sad? it was stuck in an antelopes anus

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Q. What's worse than 400 babies going down the road at 80 miles per hours in a garbage truck? A. The same babies being dumped into a trash compactor

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Justin Beiber

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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