What did the mentally retarded man say to the Waiter who brought him his soup? Thanks for bringing me my soup.

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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Abbie has head so far up her arse, it just LOOKS like it's coming out her neck.

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Why did the Mexican jump the border? Because his mom told him the grass was always greener on the other side... She lied.

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Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

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Me - "Wanna hear something that will make me laugh?" *giggles* friend - "Sure." teehee if anyone gets it.

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Why did the cookie die Because a fat kid was hungry

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So, a Hispanic, Jewish, Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "Aren't you tired of this?"

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

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a black man has a shotgun. having an IQ of 11 he shot his hands off

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Q: What's white, is Mel Gibson, and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree? A: Mel Gibson.

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why is the sky blue? - because you have herpes.

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True or false , is it hotter in the summer or in the city? False, because blue monkeys don't eat orangutan bones.

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I would, but I see an older version of the kid, that suffered so much pain and agony.

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What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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I'm hungry.

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matt has ebola...funny right!?

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Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

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Which of the following is the biggest? A. 7 B. 17 C. 71 D. Yo mama

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Why can't Kim and Arnold get childern ? because they are 2 stones.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. A worm in your apple.

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What happened to the cat that fell in the bath? It jumped out feeling cold and embarrassed.

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What's black and white and red all over? The color spectrum. Along with other colors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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