The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

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Why didn't Suzie go to the park? She commited suicide 2 years ago.

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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Halo < COD

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Whats stupid and has words? THIS JOKE!

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Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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You're Adopted.

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knock knock whos there i have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who Cream cheese

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what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

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A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to perform non-voluntary sexual acts against him.

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A White, Black, Hispanic, and an Asian man are stranded on a deserted island. They become best friends, proving race should not be a divisive factor in any community.

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Q:why was steve sad? A:he had an extra penis

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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Why did the older man begin to walk faster after a black man started walking towards him? He was late for work.

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Me: What day is it? Rebecca Black: Tuesday

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Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

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What did Osama bin Laden say to the Navy SEALS? Nothing. There was insufficient time to hold a conversation before they shot him in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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