What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

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Why did the man eat the cheese? because the man was a mouse

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whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

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What did the little boy order at Burger King? He ordered a burger and wiped his booger on the counter.

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Guess What??? Ur Murr

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Why was the ghost boy sad? He was attending his own funeral.

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What do you call a man in front of three trains that have explosives tied to them and that are making amazingly loud noises? An idiot who obviously can't identify danger and probably had a childhood injury that cause his life to be ruined forever most likely cause by an evil uncle.

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YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

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Whats Black and blue My wife after i beat her ass.

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A white guy, spanish guy, and a black guy jump off a roof. They were all killed on impact and their families will mourn their loss for years to come.

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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There was a black person running down my street. He was celebrating because he just graduated from Harvard University.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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roses are red, violets are violet.

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Penis

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Hey are you from Tennessee, 'cause you have a very nice accent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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