Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a Scratch N Sniff at the bottom of a pool and tell her to sniff it.

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what is funnier then this joke? A jewish muslim that is asian, balck, and mexican,and is woomen crossing the border then geting shot and hung by a rope of dead babies

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Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

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Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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An Asian, a white man and a black man were running in a race. The Asian won and the black man came second due to his lack of training and motivation over the past couple of months.

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whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

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A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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fuzzy wuzzy was a bear fuzzy wuzzy had no hair so fuzzy wuzzy wasn't fuzzy was he? yes

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Why did Oliver fall? He shot himself.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had celebral palsy.

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

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What smells like peanut butter but looks like a penis? A penis, I lied about the peanut butter.

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A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

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What's more addicting than a good book? Meth

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A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

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A man walks into a music store and hears dubstep playing in the background and he says, "Ugh! I hate dubstep!" Suddenly the clerk gets extremely offended and says, "Haters gonna be gay!" The man chuckles at the clerk's remark and shakes his head. "No no no silly," He said. "Haters gonna not be deaf." He says shaking his head as he walks out. The clerk tries to elaborate on what the man meant, but he realizes he cannot hear his thoughts.

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Billy: You're so ugly you made an onion cry! Jack: I'm rubber and you are glue, whatever you say bounces back and sticks to you. Billy was so upset at what he said and decided to leave.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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