A blonde, a brunnette, and a red head all jump from the top of a building. They all land at the same time because of Newton's 3rd Law

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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

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A man was standing out in the rain and calls out to god saying "smite me god, SMITE ME NOW" and the man was arrested and booked cause a near by neighbor reported on the disturbance. he is now facing charges of disturbing the peace.

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how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

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What did the Africans get for dinner? Nothing.

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What do you call a bear with no fur? A taco.

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So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

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What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

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Why did Rebecca Black die? She killed herself due to the cruelty of many people

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Selena Gomez

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Tony Blair, Micheal Jordan, Fabrice Muamba, Aunty Josephine, Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and myself all go out for drinks.

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Someone loses their golfball in the trees. Their playing partner replies: "what is this? This berenstein bears?"

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What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

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what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

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Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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