How many pieces of bling does it take to ruin a rap song? Just Two Chainz

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

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What did the rabbi say to the bartender? Hi, Mark!

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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Two men drove their car of a cliff. They died.

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did you hear about the circus fire? it was tragic and hundreds of people were killed.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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A woman was talking to Ghandi. "Oh wait" He says "I can't, My kids are home"

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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baby loves lalma

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Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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Why did the Nazi shoot the Jew in the head? Because he was a Jew. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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If an anti joke is told, and it is about an aunty is it an aunty anti joke? Adolf Hitler.

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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A man walks into a bar,gets a drink, and then leaves.

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Why did the black man die? He was shot

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PENIS

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A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

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Friends are like pickles. If you eat them, they die.

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What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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