Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

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Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Orange" "Oh, hey."

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What would Michael Jackson do on the Moon? Nothing. He's dead.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What's the difference between a chicken and a 3 legged dog? There are numerous differences. I will not however go into the biological explanations of these differences.

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why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

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Q: Why are elephants afraid of mice and/or rats? A: Elephants tend to have bad eyesight and startle quite easily?

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There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

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A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

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Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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A blonde walks into a bar. She just graduated university and thought she would celebrate with a beer.

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Q: What is Tarzan's favorite Christmas Carol? A: None. He was raised by gorillas, who are unlikely to have ever heard of Christmas.

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What's worse than your family dying in a fire? Nothing, that really sucks.

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what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

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Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a woman.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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