Whats Black White and Red all over? oh, wait. what time were we supposed to meet that landlord?

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Dwarf Shortage

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When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

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you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

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Wat do u call a 2 root tall scottidh man named max? Max

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so a black guy, an asian, and a scott are sitting at a bar, they drink responsibly, pay their tab, and leave. The evening couldn't have been more pleasant.

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Why couldn't the black man swim? Both of his legs were just eaten by a shark.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

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what do you do when a woman tells you no? cut her tongue out

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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Jerry.

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We are both missing the picture here friend, those bastards chose to fuck up my eye themselves, and while I do not completely trust you, (as far as I know you might still be a faggotqueer trying to mindfuck me), I trust you enough to take my chances. As for my eye, its fucked, I see light with it, and that is pretty much what I am going to keep seeing from it besides it looks like shit, on the bright side I look 20 percent more bad ass with an eye-patch than without, I am physically and mentally scarred, and as far as physically goes, I dig the look. Dont worry, you seem overly concerned about what people here are gonna think, it is ironic how the shitty system here makes it so easy to hide ones identity, you know if people do it right, know nothing about computers myself.

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-Why did the chicken cross the road? '' I dont know '' -Because it would cross the road and over to you. -Knock knock? '' Who's there?'' - CHICKEN!!!!!!!

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Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

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Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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