A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

bob saget

thumb_up thumb_down +37

1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

thumb_up thumb_down +34

You know what's better than a taco? A better taco.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down +11

hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down -19

yo momma is so stupid she went to the beach and the whales song " dooooooonnn't stop. belieeeeving. wwwwwhoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOA"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats funnier than drews nose .... ??

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I was walking down the street then my hands were itchy so I stuck em in my pockets Jk, I'm a donkey. We don't have hands

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I came up with one when my friend Sam told me the fortune from her Jone's Soda. A change of heart may lead to a new living environment, a change of heart may also lead to death.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops