whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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Q: What is the difference between a potato chip and a frog? A: Neither one of them is a flower.

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Nothing really

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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"knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The SS, we heard you are smuggling jews in your attic, so you are coming with us."

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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What did the orphan get christmas? CANCER

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Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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Brothers and sisters,I have none. But my sister's daughter is also my daughter...

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Q. What does a rock and a bird have in common? A. Everything. Except a bird can fly and has wings and can breath and eats and makes babies...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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