Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

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Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

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A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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Three Men walk into a bar. One with a ax and one with a Shovel. The other one isn't holding anything. *Boom* (\ _ /) (x . x)

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Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

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What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

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You know what's funny? You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

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afbn;fjnf;ajnvaf;djvnadf;vvjkfvnfvjalnvjkfvnaeljvknfljkvndfsljvnadfjvndflvkadjnfvldjfnvlakdjfnvldfjnvaldfjkvndfjkvandfvjlkdfnvaldkjvndlfjvandflvdjnvadljfnvdlfjvnadflvjdnfvladjnvdlkfjvnadlfjvndaflvjakdnflvjdakfnvalfdknvljdnflvjdanlfjvnadflvjandfvljkfndvladjkfnvldajfknvalherluhwprgqehgpquetryhpqwiourpqoitqyert9134857wieosdfljkealdfjkgfrgjuy0qo48wriehflqgetarkgjfhjkljgbflgjbfgjbflsdjfbgbkglirueerhigqehgluqeht3qt9384yt19834ty308748574785uifhsldhfljaghlkjfghfldkjaghlkfjdhaglkjhdglkjhfdgioerqoertueroiuytqeuirytqerouityqerotuiyertiuytqoiuerhajvnasdnjkvalfn I stopped reading too.

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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you see theres this guy.

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PICKLES

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

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Why did the man go to the hospital Because he was hurt

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- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

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What is brown and sticky?

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

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Whats green and smells like grass? Grass scented air freshener, in a green colored can.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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A blonde, brunette, brown walk into a hair salon. They then proceed to each get they're own procedures done then leave not having any contact with each other.

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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