Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Beacuse she has no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's There? Not Sally.

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Once upon a time there was man named Bob. He liked bacon. So he ate some. And he like it. So he got some more and ate it. Then he went an played THE GAME.

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Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator

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three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

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Poop

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Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? She was paralyzed.

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

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I like it, I like it becuase it is cream

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What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

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What is James Miller's real name? James Miller.

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What's flaming and has wheels? A firepit. I lied about the wheels.

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Why did Rebecca Black die? She killed herself due to the cruelty of many people

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what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

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What did God tell Moses to deliver to the Hebrews? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the boy? Sure I'll sign your t-shirt!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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