:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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Knock knock. "Whose there?" "Dave" Oh alright Dave, two seconds I have got to unlock the door~looks for and finds keys and unlocks door~ Hello Dave, sorry mate not been out yet so not been out, come in.........

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A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

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What is green and looks like a blue car? A Green car

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

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I banged your mom so hard that she got a urinary tract infection.

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newt gingrich

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a woman? Two people of the opposite gender having sex.

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this is an anti joke.... Get it yet

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How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

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Why did you cross the road. You didn't your looking at this joke

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so a horse walks into a bar right, and he goes up to the bartender, and the bartender being a smartass says why the long face(get because hes a horse), and the horse says his wife is dying of lung cancer, child services are taking his kids away , and im addicted to crack and that is why i have a long face the bartender then gives him the next round for free and the the horse dies of alchohol poisoning

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

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This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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Whats up with your nan? Copious amounts of lsd

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because of Kevin Spacey's chilling performance.

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you know what is so funny?! jokes..................................

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? No it's Cindy Lou Who!

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nina...;shut up we are having fun :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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