What's the best way to look 10 pounds thinner? Lose 10 pounds

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Chlamydia.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, cheeseburger.

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The government

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What did Chuck Norris say when he stubbed his toe? "Oh shit I stubbed my toe."

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Why was the black man tired? It was 3 AM, and he just came back from his demanding job as a surgeon.

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what did the kid with no legs gat for her birthday? A soccer ball! I feel bad for this young girl.

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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What's funnier than a fat person falling nothing is

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So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

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What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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what long hard and in a tight hole? a penis in a vagina

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Whats more fun than swinging a baby around on a clothesline at 200 miles per hour ? Stopping it with a shovel

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How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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