Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

Why did he walk the dinosaur He took an arrow to the knee so much the DJ didn't was paper-plates.

One day, a Hippo was riding a scooter and an ant was sitting on the back seat. Suddenly they meet with an accident. They both fall from the scooter on their heads but only the hippo gets hurt. How??? Because the ant was wearing a helmet.

Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

a man walked into a bar because he needed a part time job to support his family.

A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad seen that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

Why the FFUUU did you go back? Because I broke something huur.

Jeff has 45 candy bars. He eats 40. What does Jeff have? Diabeetus

why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

Chuck Norris doesn't just have a chin underneath his beard. He also has part of his neck underneath his beard.

How do you keep a blond in suspense?

what did bob say tothe ugly duckling? your ugly and a duckling

(you will only get this if you play minecraft) whats green and looks like a penis? a creeper!

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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