What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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French man: Bonjour! English man: um, i am not french! french man: oh, My chat is on this beautiful country! Her name is Valentina! English man: What you poo in the open and name them?

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

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If you riding a jet-ski amd the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Blue Ice Cream

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Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? I don't know. The woodchuck won't chuck wood.

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what do you call 100 muslims on a plane? Passengers

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Your mama so stupid She has a 3rd grade education

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Balls

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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Doctor: your mom has cancerous aids Me:*sob*

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Do you have a minute to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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What's white and sticky? A glue stick.

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roses are red violets are blue last time i dropped something this hard it ended world war 2?

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Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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