Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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Why are there cookie's in the jar? 'Cause I put cookies in the jar

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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whats a joke... Parker Coffey at life

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

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Why was the girl crying? Because she was brutally raped

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My dad

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What happened to your face? I walked into a tree

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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Dyslexic drunk died choking on his own vimto last night

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What do you call an elephant on the moon? Dead.

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Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

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hrih

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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So a man walks into a wedding and asks the waiter where the to wait for the punch... the waiter says, "there is no punchline."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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