Q: Why don't black people like My Chemical Romance? A: Actually, some of them do.

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An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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c-? men, C-men

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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How did the family of Cubans get to Florida? They flew first class from their home in upstate New York.

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Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

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What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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Have you seen Helen Keller's back porch? Neither did she.

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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Q-What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? A-Where's my tractor?

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How does a man with no arms ride a bicycle? He can't, he loses control and falls over, getting a few scrapes and bruises.

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What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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why are these jokes so funny? why are u so fat bitch

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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Baseball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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