What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

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Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

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Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

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How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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what do outgoing girls get on spring break? raped.

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What does it take to write a good joke? A punchline

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are u black unlucky

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What did the officer say to the black man? You're under arrest.

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Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

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A man walks into a Scottish bar and sits down. Another man sitting at the end of the bar recognizes him and says "Hello, I've heard of you, I must ask, how did you get your name?" He replies, "You see that wall out there, protecting the town? I built it with me own 2 hands, so they call me Jon the Wallbuilder.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is embarrassed but realises it has nothing to do with his dyslexia.

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a atheist and a christian walk into a bar, they are good friends and enjoy their conversations.

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What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

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A man and Sasquatch are walking down the shoreline on the eastern coast, the man looks back at the foot prints in the sand, he notices that during the hardest parts of his life, there were only one pair of footprints, while in his easiest moments, he sees two pairs of footprints; the man is disturbed about this and he asks Sasquatch this. "Sasquatch, Although you have always promised to be with me in my life, I see that when I needed you most, you were never there. Why is this Sasquatch?" Sasquatch replies, "HREAAHAHG?!"

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What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

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knock knock Get off my porch I've already called the police.

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How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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