wots brown and smells like shite shite

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what's famous and sounds like a type of food? a famous artist's name slightly modified to include the name of a food

thumb_up thumb_down +212

Why did the woman pay $5,000 for a gallon of milk? She didn't. She paid $2.99.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Who livs in a pineaple under the sea? Lots of mold and bacteria

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did helen cellars dog runway. you would to if ur name was ujujujujjujujujujujj

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Many of people would like to know this question. We have not invented a mind reading device and chickens can't communicate with humans. So no one knows

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

No. Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Rebecca Black sings a song.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats black and white, and red all over? A Zebra being slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Balboa. Watch as Apollo Creed`s nephews son is trained by Rocky Balboa`s grandson`s neighbor to participate in the new highschool musical will they win this years golden plate? Spoiler: No they did well but lost to Clubber Lang`s and Ivan Drago`s gay sons adopted lovechild`s ballet number. But people kept cheering "BALBOA BALBOA BALBOA!" As Rocky Balboa`s grandson kept yelling "ADRIAAN, ADRIAAAAAAN!" while a picture of Rocky`s grandchild is shown in the background together with the American flag. Moral: This script may or might not have been made for a quick cash in, anyway, its coming out the next radioactive winter 2705.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops