A man and woman walk into a funeral home. They are both very sad about the loss of their father who they loved dearly.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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What do you call a black man driving a helicopter? Blackhawk down

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

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Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

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Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

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In soviet Russia, your dead because it doesn't exist anymore

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What's worse than the Holocost? Two worms in your apple.

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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I Used to be an Adventurer like you, Then I retired to achieve the top Anti-Joke.

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Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

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When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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What is blue? The sky! Hahaha best joke to laught at with all of your buds hehehehehee

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

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why did it take the black man 1.5 hours to get out of a movie theater? he wanted to patiently wait for the movie to end.

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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Your mother is so fat that she is highly likely to get heart disease and/or diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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