George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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Your time.

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What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile robin.

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I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

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How do you kill a bolonde? You have her/him do an algebra problem.

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virginan Hawk

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Why couldn't the young african american read? He was born blind

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What do you call double A's? Batteries

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Q: Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? A: Neither did he.

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Who is happpier than the grouch about the Zombie Apoclypse? Dora.

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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A man is flailing his arms in the ocean. Help me, I'm drowning!, he screams. Some dude runs into the water, drags the man out, and is proclaimed a Hero.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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