Knock! Knock! Whose there? Chris Chris who? (There was never a response. Leaving the man to wonder who Chris was... Was it his high school buddy Chris? His former colleague? That guy who filled his propane tank down at the gas station? Was that guy's name even Chris-or was it Craig? Craig, it was definitely Craig.)

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: The construction of a steel-reinforced concrete wall will work in most instances, but for more resistant cases, the use of a high-impact titanium anti-rhino charging barrier is required.

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

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What's heavy, black, and when hanging by a rope from a tree, makes white people happy? A tire, in any white football player's backyard.

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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one morning i turned on my tv

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Why do people often give Jimmy strange looks? Because Jimmy has Down Syndrome

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what did the crippled boy get for christmas? cancer.

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When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

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Martin Skrtel walks into a bar The bar breaks, Martin then pays for any damages caused

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Why did the black man die? A white man killed him. He was a member of the KKK.

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What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

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Arrow to the Knee

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Now heres a boy who can't read. Ngjmhgmgk? MTGKMJHGMjhkmjh(hgjnhgfjhgfj nj nvj vj kvnmg ifh) njki nj jo ncj kgjkfngjfk jkn jkgfngkfn gkn kgfnigkfnmg km kgf kglfn kglf kglgkflnm klnm mklm khlgfpnkmfklnmlk mbk lm klgfnmk gfmkngfnkgfklfknm m k kf mkfl m k gflmgkffmkopfdjtorper srhes hngfdlj;sdnht rktrtnr rdpkng ngngf.

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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