Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

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Your mom is so stupid she has to get homeschooled for college!

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Q:Where was The Declaration of Independence signed? A: At the bottom

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What do you call a man with no legs, and one arm? Whatever his name happens to be.

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whats up and also down? your mum

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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What is the priest favorite book? The Bible

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A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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children burning

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What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

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Strawberries!

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Why was 6 scared of me? cause i ate 9

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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Knock Knock. -Who's there ? It's me. -Come in.

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your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

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What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? A. Spot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops