What did the avocado say to the person? I can't talk

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There's a priest, doctor, and blonde on a plane. At the end of the flight they all go their separate ways.

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A horse walks into a bar the bar tender says hey you cant be in here you are a horse so the horse leaves.

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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Do you know why this joke isn't funny. It's punchline is bad.

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Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

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what do you call two mexicans playing basketball? juan on juan

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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Q: what weighs 6 ounces sits in a tree and is very deadly? A: a sparrow with a machine gun

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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I'm funny.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

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Person 1: What did the narwhal say to the other narwhal. Person 2: I don't know... What? Person 1: How am I supposed to know? Shortly after a serious argument breaks out.

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whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

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Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

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How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

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What happend to the boy with no family? he died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? He graduated at the top of his class with a master's degree in engineering.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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