Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

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hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

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What do you call a black flying an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Religion

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What's black and white and red all over? A panda with red paint splattered on it

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Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

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Marilyn Manson was walking to church.

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your mom was so fat that she died.

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.The chicken was very distressed and trying to get away from the angry mob that followed close behind it.The chicken was never seen again. If you see a distressed chicken please contact your local police station.

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What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

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How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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what's 9+10? 19, not 21

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the beer from the other man and throws it on the floor, breaking it. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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what was the last pizza place the twin towers ordered from? Domino's

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what did the dog say when he walked in to a bar? Bark

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Where did Little Sally go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Justin beiber's penis

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Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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