What has 8 legs and 1 eye? 2 chairs and half a fish.

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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Person 1: today my doctor said I'm dyslexic Person 2: oh yeah? Are you ahdd too?

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As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

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Why was Timmy sad?

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Anthony Dephillips is handsome

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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Hey guess what? What? I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you're mom died. I lied about the good news.

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What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

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rose are red so is u want to know why because i shot her

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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What's the deal with brown?

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

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What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

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This desk is two chromebooks wide. It will be one once I push yours off.

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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Why is a black man fat? Because he eats a lot.

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A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

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Why did Mike Tyson say he would eat his children? Thats mean! friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Why not just vi0late them REALLY REALLY FUCKlNG HARD! Its a Win/Win/Win/Sore ass situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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