A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than watching the Hunger Games? Playing the Hunger Games

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a praying mantis at your door step? a Jehovah Witness

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is smelly and sticky A poo

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q:What's the difference between a Boy scout and a Jew? A:Boy scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Herman Cain

thumb_up thumb_down +26

TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Three baby seals walk into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Yo mamma so crazy She chloroformed a 4 year old and put her in her trunk and no one has ever heard of her since.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A robot walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "can I get you a drink?" The robot replies, "No, I'm a robot."

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy? They have different colors of skin.

thumb_up thumb_down

i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops