Two men are fighting in a boxing match. One gets punched in the crouch, cries, and goes home to watch "The Simpsons".

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Follow the Yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road........except it's not yellow.

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What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

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How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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What's Blue and tastes like orange cake? A blue cake.

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why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

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What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

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What is the difference between a mexican and a bench? One is living, one is not.

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whats green and slimy? green slim

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my shift key is broken1

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Well educated black man.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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A man sits down to dinner with his wife And she notifies him that their 8 year old son just died

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What did batman say to robin when they got to their car? Get in the car

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what is big, black, and has hair on it. a big black guy with hair.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Inform her that she is an illegitimate child resulting from a vicious, torturous rape and that her mother will never truly love her.

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

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I've done a lot of soul searching, and.... I've realized.... the & symbol really looks like a man dragging his butt on the ground.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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