roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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What do the Wizard of Oz, Popeye and my sweaty, fat asshole all have in common? The letter O.

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree, in the middle of august, with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A: None, snakes dont have armpits :D

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What does a muslim do on a plane? Flies to his intended destination without causing a problem.

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What did the man say when he was hit with a flying watermelon? Ouch.

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A man walks into a bar He has a water, he is sober

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whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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wael.. nuff said

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

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So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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Roses are red violits are blue I have ADHD do you like cats?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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A homosexual black man and a 13 year old child are in the shower at the local gym. The black man says to the boy "you dropped your soap, why don't you pick it up?" The boy promptly thanks the black man, picks up his soap and continues to shower.

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (Knocker runs for his life).

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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Whats a six letter name for black people? Friend.

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Suck my bigvagina you faggetass bitchybuns

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What did the Lumberjack say before cutting down the tree? Nothing, it's his job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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