How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

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Double rainbow? What does it mean? Well, a "double rainbow" is a phenomenon of optics that displays a spectrum of light due to the sun shining on droplets of moisture in the atmosphere. Does that explain it?

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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How types of people are there? One, we are the only homo sapiens.

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Hopefully it made it over without lacerating its underbelly, thus causing fatal bleeding.

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

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a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

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chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Nothing, he was a fish.

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Jamie stegman has no life he is a nerd while his sister is giving him a z-j while jacob comes in and starts rubbing the lamp and then the crazy man ate the orange then farted in all of there face. NeonFAILsky xoxo

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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Pain Olympics.

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Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

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Why aren't Anti Jokes funny? Cuz they're against my religion.

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A miserable man committed suicide.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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