yo momma so fat. that shes fat

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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Suppose an American, an Indian, a dinosaur, and a leprechaun are on a plane together. Which one would be the first to chug a 7 pound bottle of coke? The situation is too unlikely, with the odds of it occurring being less than 1%, therefore the question cannot be answered accurately.

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What is purple and crawls? A wounded grape.

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What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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I'd like to make a withdraw

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What do you think about whats happening in the middle east right now? You're an idiot.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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Pi and i are having an argument about the state of modern mathematics. Pi goes into a frenzy and i says "be rational". Pi does not realise that i was just being friendly, and so tells him: "get real". [L]

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Q. Why did the man fall off his bike? A. He was hit by a canoe.

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whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

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Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

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knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

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Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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