A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

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What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

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Why was the little boy reluctant to approach his father? Because his father was a rotting corpse.

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Knock knock SCREW YOU I BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue you have hemroids

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What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Fun Fact getting married to your first cousin is legal in CT... bet you thought there was joke coming right about now..........

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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Sex vagina. lol.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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The man and the women were doing something. What are you looking? They just talked

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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Q: What cracks while having sex? A: The pelvis of a four year old...

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What did the white guy say to the black guy wearing a black T-shirt? That's a very nice shirt.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. unless you're color blind...

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why did the kid let go of his kite? He got struck by lightning

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A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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Two scientists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have H20", the other says "I'll have a beer." The first one is the one to drive them to their homes.

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A man told his wife to go make him a sandwich. She said no.

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We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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