whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

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What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

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Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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Why did Sally have a bad vacation? Sally was shot at by a sniper.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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My mom says hi ............ Jk she says hello

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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What did the clown say to the other clown? I was not present at this conversation, and therefore I was not able to catch what they were saying

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Struggling with self esteem? Wish you were more attractive? Well stop wishing you fugly cum dumpster.

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Your mother is so poor that she has to rely on government sent cheques to sustain a basic lifestyle.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There are many circumstances that could affect the outcome of the situation. One of them is whether or not the given people have or will soon obtain a ladder. In this case, the lightbulb could take more time than needed to be screwed in and effectively changed. Another key factor in the situation is the number of people. If there are enough people to reach the ceiling without a ladder, the lightbulb could be screwed in sooner or later than asked by the owner of the facility in which the lightbulb socket is installed. Finally, the height of the persons given is a crucial point in this situation. The people may be tall, thus allowing there to be fewer people needed. The people could be short and need a greater number of people than if the people were, perhaps, a bit taller. All in all, I'd say about 1-2.

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Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

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It's gone. It's all gone. There's nothing left.

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roses are black violets are black I'm blind i need a dog.

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What do you call a black kid with no parents? A black orphan.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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Why was the hiker upset? He was plummeting 1,500 feet to the ground after tripping on a rock too close to a cliff.

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Why did the tight shirted Asian man spend all his time on his knees? Because when he was 12 he was forced to work in a textile factory where he lost his lower legs.

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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