What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Bob

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

Why did the young boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

Why did the red head never have a boyfriend? She was a lesbian and had always preferred women over men

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he can't fly

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she no arms

McDonald's... Giving people with swag jobs since 1942.

Your mom is so fat, She should go to a doctor because her cholesterol is abnormally high.

What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "...no..?"

Why did the girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

The other day, I broke my snare drum.... I still haven't fixed it and am planning on doing so soon.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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