a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo mommas so fat We are terribly concerned about her health

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a gay Chinese math teacher? A gay Chinese math teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did Pikachu say to Charmander? Nothing. Pokemon are fictional creatures, and thus, do not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did OJ Simpson say to the blonde? "Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Who is there??? Person 1: ..................................... Person 2: (Opens Door) Person 1: BOO i scared u and ding dong ditched u Person 2: Actually "Ding Dong Ditching" is when a one or more human beings search for a targeted house where they ring the door bell and run to a designated location to hide. After the resident opens the door to find out no one has stayed and waited, they close the door and the human beings quickly run up and repeat the task many as times until the resident finally catches them.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

25

thumb_up thumb_down -15

went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is six scared of seven? Because seven is in his house with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What do you call cheese that's not your own? A: Someone else's cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops