- Anti Joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

Justin Bieber walks into a bar, has a few drinks, chats with some fans, and leaves. The very next day, Justin Bieber is out buying groceries.

My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

being sober in a bar fight

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

Did you hear the joke about Hellen Keller? Neither did she.

A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

What do you call a white man in the NBA? A really good basketball player

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Cause 7 is black.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

A Rabbi, a Priest, and an Atheist walk into a restaurant. They receive terrible service, and do not leave a tip.

There was an American, Mexican, and a Chineese man, they were all on a plane about to crash. They all threw off the plane somthing they had a lot of in their country before they died. the mexican sacraficed tacos. the chineese sacraficed noodles. and the american picked up the mexican and chineese and was about to throw them off beacause he had too many of them in their country but then he came to relization that a community with biodiversity is an important factor in life today. i mean, someones gonna have to mow the lawn?

I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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