Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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What's worse than being hit by a mini van? Being hit by 5 mini vans.

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What did little Jimmy say when he saw a group of dancing blue penguins dressed as cannibal clowns with saucers on their head ? "What the f*ck"

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if girls witth big boobs work at hooters where does the girl with one leg work.... walmart

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The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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Feet

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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your mammas so fat tha-- my mother is dead. oh... sorry.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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Hey I Just Met You , And This is Crazy But Don't Text. My Phone Cuz You Stalk Me Daily #Taste_MyCarmel

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What do you call a pregnant 8-year old? A poor reflection on our society

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: His name.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Kim Kardashian got a job.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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