- Anti Joke

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

why navy seals ? they shot osoma bin laden in the face...... multiple times

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" in a calm tone " Yeah, me neither."

Q: What did Robin Williams say to the young boy? A: Nothing, He is dead

What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

Dead girls can't say no.

What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken god made two of every animal

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the W&Ws

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

TROLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOL

From the makers of Call of Duty 1, comes Call of Duty 2.

What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

The jets are a good team..

Black People

Why was Why added to why? Because WHy not.

"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

what is big and white? Your Mom

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops