Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why was the presidential candidate sad? He mother was raped on her way to hear his speech and his brother hung himself in his apartment two days earlier.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

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Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

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Have you read Shakespeare? Dunno. Who wrote it? Shakespeare.

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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What do you call a moose with a 42 gauge shotgun pellet through its head? Open Season

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Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

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Whats the difference between the holocaust and Norm McDonald? One can be laughed at the other is Norm McDonald.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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Once a upon of time, there was 7 dwarfs. Their names are Sleepy, Stupid, Sexy, Shithead, Sonovabitch, Shutup, and Simon. They are a street gang called the 7 dwarfs and was notorious for causing trouble. All the dwarfs got away from the police except for Simon, because that was his real name.

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MOOOOOOOOOOO

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What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Poor, poor children.

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some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

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Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

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Q:Whats the difference between NBC and the NBA? A: The NBA is the National Basketball Assocation and NBC is The No Body Cares.

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unbeknownst to the farmer, the pen holding the chickens inside the farm had fallen due to bad weather. The chicken unknowingly wandered onto the road nearby. Thankfully it was rescued some minutes later.

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What did the mountain biker say when he saw a double rainbow? This a very rare occurrence in nature, and I should enjoy this rare phenomenon.

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Golf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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