Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many Black People does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Changing a lightbulb is a very simple task.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't get back up? She had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what has hair? Organisms, or at least most do.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Finding a repeated joke about no armed susy falling off a swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the fat kid the last one to lunch? He'd had lead bricks stapled to his ankles by the skinny kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red, violets are blue, your so ugly, im going to kill you! Just kidding.......... Violets are purple. -Harrison

thumb_up thumb_down +62

why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the Nazi doctor drown a Jew in the lake? Because he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

My son made a tree fort, it burned down.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

i punched my mother in the face once she cried

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What does an emu an a kiwi have in common? Both are flightless birds endemic to there own countries.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two black men and a latino board a plane together. They are members of the Marshall High School football team, and all die in the subsequent crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops