A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

Holocaust jokes are not funny. My Grandpa died in the Holocaust... He fell off of the guard tower.

How do you keep an italian from talking? You duct tape his mouth.

Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

What's brown and green, has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

Why was the kid underwater? He hit a rock.

Whats a frogs favorite year? 2009!

Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

When does 1=17? How many schizophrenics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

What did the doctor say when he lost his glasses? Where are my glasses?

How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

4,000 yaks escaped from the zoo

boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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