what did the wall say to the floor? nothing interior structure supports do not talk

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Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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what's the difference between dodo and doodoo doodoo is still around for you to see

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What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

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Why do vampires suck blood? Because they re crazy.

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

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Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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Knock Knock Sorry, I'm in a full body cast and can't answer the door.

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-Knock Knock. -Come in.

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What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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Q: What do you call men at sea? A: Sailors

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Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

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aodhan hearty

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How do you kill an american? You shoot them

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kennah campion when she talks

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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knock knock. who's there? ya ya who? dot com

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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