How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A black man was walking down the street wearing a ski mask. It was cold outside.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Why is a frog green? Because it was born that way

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What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go hang himself.

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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What's green and fuzy and could kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 has been convicted on multiple accounts of murder and Grievous Bodily Harm

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one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? its a refridgerator Why did the third monkey jump out of the tree It thought it was a game

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a black person was walking into his home. good thing balls like apple juice and Miley Cyrus was keeping guard with her sword.

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What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realizing on your deathbed that you regret the life you've lived and hate the person you've become.

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Why didn't the blonde finish her book? She died.

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What Did Sally Get For Christmas? A Bicycle

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"Did you eat your veggies?" asked the shark, sarcastically.

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SpiderMan, under that mask and your superhero clothes who are You really? Under these clothes, I...Am.... naked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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