how do you make a cow float Give it 10000 balloons

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I'm on the ABC diet. The ABC stands for: Americans British Chinese I eat humans.

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Do you know whats sad? Global Warming Do you know why the polar bears are dying? Aids

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper painted red.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Whats the difference between a muslim and a christian? They believe in different things.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

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Q : whats the most annoying thing on the earth with a big fore head ? A : Paige

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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I want to tie a baby to the back of a truck then reverse into a wall.

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I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Mom, how do you make babies? When a daddy and mommy love each other very much... They play with trains and tunnels!(Yay!)

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Why did michael jackson wear white gloves around young boys? His doctor recommended that he do so due to bad circulation.

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How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

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What is the difference between a blonde and a Mexican? Their hair color.

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WHYS S AFRAID OF B CAUSE OF SBB

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hey

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If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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What is the deferince between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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