- Anti Joke

How old is victor? Old

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

What's smaller then a midget? A baby midget.

Why did the soccer player miss practice? He got shot in the face.

If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me nothing because I'm single

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

Roses are red Violets are blue What about pansies

What did the chicken say to the.... nevermind

Jack and Jill ran up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and died.

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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