Why did the girl not have a good New Year's? She was murdered on Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: What do you call a blonde, a brunette, and a red head all who are 16 years old and standing in a school? A: High School Students

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why do teenagers, especially girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and creates a fanbase large enough to promote his career thus increasing profits which provides him a better quality of life and great financial future

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

An Irish man walked into a bar. He turned to the bartender and said hello. Then walked to the back booth for his lunch meeting with the heads of his highly profitable company and then went home.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

So a horse walks into a barn.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It followed a trail of bird feed that was strewn across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If I were in a room with you hitler, stalin, i would shoot hitler and stalin because they are horrible people.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was Little Billy sad? Because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

(kid is eating a round fruit) friend: Get me an apple too. Kid: I wish I could The kids friend later realizes that his friend was actually eating a peach.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How did the blind man know when to open his parachute when he went skydiving? The leash went slack.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops