A kid goes to the doctor and orders a salad. The doctor replies, "This is a smoking-free environment". The kid puts out his cigar and goes to Olive Garden to get his physical.

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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What is the best school in Victoria? Lyndale.

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A little boy is going to school when he is stopped by a stranger. The stranger tells the little boy, when his teacher asks him why he is late, just say willytop. The boy looks at the stranger oddly, but proceeds to go to school. He arrives 5 minutes late, and is teacher isn't that happy. His teacher asks him why he is late. All the boy says is Willytop. The teacher looks at him horrified, and sends him to the office. Well, the boy arrives in the principals office, and the principal asks him why he was sent down. All the boy said was Willtop. The Principal was so horrified that he expelled the boy from school. Well, the boy went home, to find his parents in the living. They told the boy they knew he was expelled, but they wanted to know why. All the boy said was Willytop. The parents were so horrified by this that they kicked him out of the house. Well, the boy is now walking to dark town streets, when he is stopped by a cop. The cop asks him why he is walking the streets alone. All the boy says is Willytop. The cop is so disgusted, that he kicks the boy out of town. Well, the boy is now sitting in a bar, and the bartender asks him why he is alone. All the boy said was Willytop. The bartender looked at him horrified, but before the bartender could say anything, the boy says "Please sir, I was kicked out of school, my house and even my hometown because of willytop. what does it mean sir?" The bartender nods, and tells the boy to come with him across the street, because if he tells him in the bar, the other people may get mad. Well, the boy and the bartender are across the street from the bar. The bartender opens his mouth, but before he could speak, a drunk driver hits them both.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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What do an airplane and a strawberry have in common? They can both fly.... Except for the strawberry

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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What happen when you put a Ciara and a Charlie together? They have sex.

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What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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A black man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" He says as the Klu Klux Klan beat him with sticks

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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Q: Why can't white people dunk? A: because they can't jump high enough

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why did little johnny scream. he was getting torn to pieces

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How many Hairdressers does it take to change a lightbulb. Usually one.

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Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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Heskey time.

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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A priest, R Kelly, and Michael Jackson walk into a bar. They proceed to molest small children.

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Roses are red, tires are black, why is your chest as flat as your back!

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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Are you from Tenessee? I heard you were from there

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Brett Favre sent me a pic of his penis. I then compared it to my own and felt good about my general ackage size

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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