A hemophiliac walks into a bar. Then he dies of internal bleeding.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

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Why couldn't the Asian man speak in chinese? He never learned chinese

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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You know what's funny? Rape

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

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Why do guys love to wrestle? They like to have physical contact with other men.

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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Why did the kid punch the other kid. Because he was black.

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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Why did the Nazi shoot the Jew in the head? Because he was a Jew. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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The young orphan boy had high hopes for this Christmas. When he woke up, he ran to the foot of the tree and saw a large box wrapped with seasonal wrapping paper. He looked at it to see that it was for someone else. The boy recieved nothing for Christmas and was later hit by a bus that had veered off of the road to avoid hitting a dog. The boy is now paralyzed and is extremely disappointed as to how his Christmas had unfolded.

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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Why does the chicken cross the road? 4

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Duh!!!."

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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"Knock knock..." "come in"

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A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops