Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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When life gives you oranges, make lemonade.

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Two muffins are put in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?". The other muffin says,"HOLY CRAP!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!".

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Who was the first person Steven Hawking runs up to when he finds out something new about science? He is in a wheelchair due to a condition called ASL, therefore he cannot "run"

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What is the diffrence between a jew and a mexican One is a religous practice and the other is a racial diversity

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Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

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eh dylan quieres que te trolle de nuevo

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

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Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

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Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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A doctor walks into a bar. It's his day off and decides to celebrate after a long week of working.

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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I grammer is gooder then yours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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