A man walked into a bar. He left in a body bag.

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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what did "A" and "B" look for when they went to the beach? what are you talking about? letters cannot travel!

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Roses are red. I f***** a dude. you're a failed abortion. I never loved you.

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So this guy filled with blood, right? This caused his veins to protrude and him to bleed strongly when he cut his wrists with razors later that night- because of his struggle with depression and substance abuse.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

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Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy, she has no arms

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

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Why did it take so long to find Osama Bin Laden? No idea. Bad military tactics. Was he found?

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Jack and Jeff went up a hill to fetch a pail of water, They both turned gay, and had some sex, and now they have HIV

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What is funnier than onion gravy? Mushroom gravy.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

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What did the pregnant teenager get for her birthday? An abortion.

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Why did the Jew go to prison. He slaughtered his family.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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When life throws you lemons what should you do? Take cover.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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