What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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What did the Muslim say to the American? Hi

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

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56

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alert("The Game");

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Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

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Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

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What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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cms.......?????

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: I don't know, he didn't tell me.

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Knock knock. Whose There? Megan Megan Who? Your Wife...

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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Q: What do you call three black people in a car? A: Maltesers

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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Why did the man laugh? Because humans laugh when they hear a joke.

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What's the difference between a McDonald's and Michael Jackson? One is a fast FOOD restaurant, while the other likes having sex with little boys.

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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