Yo mamas so fat she's over weight

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why are you bored? because fungus grows in your eyeballs so you try to stab it out but you end up blind and dead lol

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Where did Lucy go went the bomb went off? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Want to hear an urban legend? There's a straight feminist.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock, Knock! Cum inside ;;)

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't keep a Ferrari in my garage. (????)?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's Casey Anthony doing now that she's not in prison? She's actually living life as an upstanding citizen in Florida.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's green,has 4 legs and lives in a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the black man say "I been done did that?" He was speaking ebonics.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

thumb_up thumb_down -11

sucks Syntax...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So this guy's taking a hooker back to a hotel room, right? The woman turns out to be a federal agent investigating prostitution in inner-city inviornments, and the man is promptly arrested. He is now subject to a large fine and 90 days in a county jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

thumb_up thumb_down -14

"Doctor, doctor, I am having a hard time controlling my muscles!" "It's Lesche-Nyhan Syndrome, this is a genetic terminal illness...i'm sorry."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man have blood on his finger? Because he popped a pimple

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

please dislike this or else i will continue writing this, lalalalalalalalalallalalalalallalalalalalalalallaallaalallalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalallalalaallalalalalalallalalalalalallalalalalalalallalalalalalalla

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When life gives you limes....... first you have some problem and second u throw them at people

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops