Why did the man commit suicide? Because all meaning in his life were gone.

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A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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A horse walks into a bar, but is kicked out because animals are not allowed in that bar.

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How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

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A student exclaimed "This test is a piece of cake!" He ate it.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? New Kids on the Block. Wait, who?

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Pickles

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. 97

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I like to use vasoline during sex. I put it on the doorknob so she can't escape.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza does'nt scream in the oven

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Little Johnny asks his teacher "What's 23 times 3?" She yelled, "Be quiet, Johnny, and grow up!"

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

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Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

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I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Obama. Obama who? Barack Obama, President of the United States. I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar. I'm baking cookies for my family, because they really like my cookies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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