What time will the little girl get up for school? Never, she died in her sleep.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have babies? She's dead.

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A horse walked into a barn...

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What's the difference between a cow and a cow? Nothing, they are both the same.

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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What’s the difference between a frog and a duck? One is a frog and one is a duck.

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What flys? A fly

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Why? Whats wrong?

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How do you get 10 babies out of a blender? Potato Chips! Stupid!!!!

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Knock, Knock? Who's There? Not Suzie

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A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

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what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

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My dad said that if I post anymore jokes on this website, the will hit my head against the keyboaaskdnaji;nsd;asdnasd;

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

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Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

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i need teepee for my bunghole! jlr

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that moment when the last few ceral are like "Come on catch me bitch"

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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