What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If a tree falls in the forest does anybody really care?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you kill a bunch of flies in one swat? Smack an African kid in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Most of men think: the bigger dick they have, the more pleasure they can give to woman. Most of women don't thinks so, becouse they haven't got a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down

If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The loss of originality in anti joke formats. And hypocrisy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a black man and a white man walk into a job interview. neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than seeing Levi naked? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops