Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

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I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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Knock Knock! But nobody was home and couldn't hear it.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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what's gray, rectangular, and provides a good time? your mother's sex tape.

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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Q - What's the difference between a Park Bench and a Black Man ? A - The Park Bench can support a family.

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666

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Whats the difference between anti-jokes and regular jokes? A Fridge full of dead babies being thrown at a black man with no arms or legs swinging from a tree.

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a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

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What's the difference between blacks and whites? The skin color

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What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

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I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

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knock knock Labrinth come in

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

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Whats Funnier than a clown? Woman's Basketball.

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some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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