What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

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I am not racist., I have a black man in my family tree! He is still hanging there

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i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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matt shut up

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

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some kid told me pink dolphin clothiing was nigged, so i took an eraser , gave it to his sister and beat the poop out of hiis car ON A THURSDAY!!!!!!

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Do you still got what it needs to become a better leader than me Nero?

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What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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Ding dong Who's there Electricity

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What did the man with no head get for Christmas? Nothing he was dead

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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