What do Ed Milliband and David Milliband have in common? They are brothers.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +39

i said call 911 and they said whats the number?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You might be a redneck if someone slaps you on the back of the neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: Why did Susan fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Q: Why did no one help her up? A: She had no friends Q: why was she at the play ground? A: Her parents were fighting again Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susan

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N Porn.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea lives for around 5 minutes in hot water.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Actually, violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Mexican, a Jew, an American and an Indian are on a plane with no parachutes. No one jumps out because no one has a parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the muslim say to the jew. Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops