Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you get when you mix a fox and a sloth? a..FOTH

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the penis say to the vagina? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he does what he wants.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you change you dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two scientists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have H20", the other says "I'll have a beer." The first one is the one to drive them to their homes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Which is longer? A rope...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Man 1: What's blue and goes blub blub? Man 2: I don't know what? Man 1: A blue blub blub. What's green and goes blub blub? Man 2: A green blub blub? Man 1: There's no such thing as a green blub blub you moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +265

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the Mexican have a job? Because stereotypes made employers unjustly reluctant to hire a hard-working, competent man.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the black man buy a watermelon? So he can eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,952

A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the maths book commit suicide? It wanted to be history

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats the difference between a mexican and a black person? They have different skin colors.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did Helen Keller say to her mother? Nothing coherent.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops