What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

What did the cashier say to the blonde? That will be $5.39, would you like a receipt?

How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

How do you make a tissue dance? You really can't, but you could grab it and shake it around so it looks like its dancing.

two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

you wanna hear a joke? no

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

Your Mother is so kind that when I see her I say hello and ask her how she has been

A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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