what did meredith and nick have in common an i

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What's there like a good neighbor? Your neighbor

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What did the ghost say when it stubbed its toe? Ow

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What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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What do you call a lubia chin jew slave? Kia

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "I am an undercover police office and you're under arrest for prostitution, ma'am."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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Jesus walks on water Chuck Norris swims through land

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well you shouldn't be. I came to tell you your family died in a car crash and you have AIDS.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

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How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

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Did you hear about the big Polish tragedy? There was a power outage in Poland's busiest shopping mall, People were stuck on the escalators for 4 hours. A woman gave birth in the elevator and died.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

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Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun, Get in the van.

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Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

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And so the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life," but John came fifth, and won a toaster instead.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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