Scene:restraunt Me:can I have a coke please? Waiter:sorry we don't have any, is Pepsi ok? Me:is monopoly money ok?

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A man says to his doctor, "doctor, doctor, I think I have a split personality." The doctor responds, "That makes 4 of us."

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When life gives you lemmons Give lemmons Life

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Where did Sally go during the explosion? Everywhere.

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steven hawking walks into a bar

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What's the same between a plane a bird and a piece of celery? They all fly except the celery

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What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

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the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

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GooglePlus.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I'm sorry your brother died

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What did the police officer say to the black man? "I am a police officer."

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Why doesn't Lebron James have any rings? Cuz he didn't win a championship.

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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What is the difference between a black man and a potato? Well, there are a great many differences. But the main one is probably that a potato is a potato, and a black man is a black man.

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Q. What's better than a breadmaker? A. A sandwhich.

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Q: What's brown and smells like poo? A: poo

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5 - samios in a wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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