What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There were three people on a plane, the plane crashed and they all died.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats your budget like? a budget.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

thumb_up thumb_down

A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A fat lady walks into a bar. Your probably wondering what she ordered. She ordered a ham burger.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do Elephants and Grapes have in common? They are both purple, except the Elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q- what the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A- The Wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the chicken cross the road Because he was Pierre preasured by all you assholes Saying he already did it so now he feels like he Has to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Did you know that many scientists will find out what happens after death within your lifetime? But not their lifetime...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the milk man cry? Cause you killed his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops