What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made from the juice of the fruit while jam is made from the pulp of the fruit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Q: What did the student say to the teacher? A: The answer is four.

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Why did the blond fail her math test? Because she got all the questions wrong.

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Roses are red My bulb is blue My pants are extending When I look at you

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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What did the frog say Magican? Ribbet.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are many things that could be considered worse than finding a worm in one's apple. In addition, the matter of better or worse depends upon the point of view of the person in question, so what is worse than finding a worm in one person's apple may be preferable to finding a worm in another person's apple.

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A son went to ask his father about his thoughts on abortion. "Dad, what do you think about abortion?" "Ask your sister." "I don't have a.."

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Why did the Muslim enter the bar? He didn't.

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

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Some people devote their life to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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A giant storm loomed over a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who has been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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What do you call a gay lion tamer. It depends on their name.

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Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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