How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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What do you call 3 horses in 1 boat, in the middle of the Dead Sea? Lost

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Why did the chicken cross the road... so people could keep asking that question for 4000 years

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A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

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like a cammel, lewis stores his weed in his back

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Why did the man laugh when he saw someone using a shake weight? He remembered Dane Cook's stand up preformance from the night before.

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So what makes you that much adaptable? I get the feeling I should get this by now.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the other ____?

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Why did Billy fall off the slide? Someone threw a refridgerator at his face.

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Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

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haha

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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¸Knock Knock whos there Penis penis who your family has penis cancer

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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Whats bright red and claws at the window? Baby in a microwave.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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