There once was this guy and he fell down

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son, you're adopted.

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why doesnt jesus play hockey? he got nailed to the boards

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*knock knock* Who's there? *Gorilla* Gorilla who? *Gorillas don't hoot, owls hoot*

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What do you call a building full of black people Jail

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A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

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if quizzes are quizzical, arent tests testical?

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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Your mother is so fat........... that she is morbidly obese and is at severe risk for diabetes and other weight related diseases.

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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What did the fox say to the blonde? "Hello". The girl then captured the fox and sold it to the government.

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why was it funny that the boy got hairspray for christmas because he had leukemia

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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the only people that will miss whitney huston are her drug dealer and possibly bobby brown

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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What do you get when you cross the color pink and pie? A penis ate the answer.

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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Why did the black guy have a nice sterio? He has a well paying job and decided to treat himself.

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If one of us goes, all of us go. If we all go, none of us are left out.

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Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

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Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

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Why did the drunk man puke? Because he was drunk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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