A man walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks, and goes home an hour or so later.

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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roses are red, violets are blue, get in that bed or I stick your head down the loo! Christian grey

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because of Kevin Spacey's chilling performance.

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Why didn't the black man eat lunch? Because his lunch asked him not to eat it.

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i dont hate yu i jus really really dislike yu!!!

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Why doesn't Micheal Jackson do a music video with Usher? Because he is dead.

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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Knock knock Violets are blue Helen Keller The Holocaust.

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how come so many people die every year due to starvation? They don't have enough food and there aren't nearly enough spider monkeys in North America.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did Lucy fall out of the tree? Because she sting by a wasp.

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There once was a little girl called maddie who had a very earisponaceable daddy, she was taken from her bed and now she is dead and was raped by a Portuguese tranny

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In Soviet Russia, joke tells YOU! ...because that is the syntax of the language.

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Why did the Jew rob the bank? -He was a criminal.

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Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

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Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

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1,984

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what happened to the chicken that crossed the road? it got hit by a taco truck

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Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

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27

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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