A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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Women's rights

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Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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What's worse than winning the lottery? Anything, really...

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Women's rights

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't come anyways.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rihno? Rihno-elephant

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A nig-ger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nig-gers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nig-ger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nig-ger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nig-ger, go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nig-ger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nig-ger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nig-gers, smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

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What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

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The word "Walter" is never funny.

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Womens rights

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

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An Englishman, A Scotsman, a Welshman, an Australian, An American, A German, A Swede, A Kiwi, An Austrian, A Belgian, A Frenchman, A Chinese Guy, An Indian, A Turk, A Czech, A Canadaian, A Russian, A serbian, A Portuguese, A brazilian, An Argentine and a South African go in to a bar. The Security stops them and says "I'm sorry i can't let you in without a thai"

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Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems i like your boobs

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Why are hookers and babies so alike? You can have sex with both.

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

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Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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