Why did the chicken cross the road? because potatos are invading russia

What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

See you later... Just joke I'm blind

Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust Whats worse than the holocaust? getting raped by a giant scorpion What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher, Mr. Smith What's worse than getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher Mr. Smith? Snapping your femur bone in half What's worse than snapping your femur bone in half? Birthing a dead baby

A priest and a rabbi walk into a gay bar. They are closet homosexuals and are searching for partners to engage in consensual sexual intercourse with.

21

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing, chimneys can't talk!

There once was a boy walking down the street. He got shot in the head. He died.

4 is half the number 8 is.

Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

just in time?

Do you like waffles yeah we like waffles do you like pancakes do you like french toast yeah we like french toast dododododod let me get a mouth full. WAFFLES!!!!!!!

Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair A: Handicapped.

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? Nothing, they were the ones convicted of raping that white girl.

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

one bright morning in the middle of the night two dead boys got up to fight back to back they faced each other drew thier swords and shot each other a deff policeman heard this noise came and shot the two dead boys if you dont believe this lie is true ask the blind man he saw it too

How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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