Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

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What's retarded and comes from Eygelshoven? Roel van den Elzen

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What did the Jew say to the other Jew? Found a penny the other day....

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What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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what the orphan boy get for christmas? Not his parents

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What did the politician say to the bank robber? "Were both robbers"

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Why is brennan goldade such a loser? Cause he likes men

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

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Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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Your Mom is so fat... Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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roses are red violets are blue you should have been aborted

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Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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