What has 8 legs and 1 eye? 2 chairs and half a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

thumb_up thumb_down

tight butthole 4 lyfe.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

My girlfriend gave me her first ever blowjob last night. I came in her mouth and she washed it down with a can of Carling. Obviously she had to get that horrible taste out of her mouth, so she gave me another blowjob.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What starts with p and ends in orn? Popcorn

thumb_up thumb_down

If Africa had more mosquito nets, millions, MILLIONS of mosquitoes would die for hunger.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I wrote a funny joke.

thumb_up thumb_down

Guess what. Butts. www.youtube.com/c/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the sun say to the moon ?? Nothing - they can't speak

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Caller: Is your fridge running! Callee: ... umm yes? Caller: I guess you don't need my services. Thanks Callee: ok bye

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened when the man lost his sandwich? He couldnt eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A: What happened to the snake? B: It died

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did Jesus say to the giraffe? Good day to you sir.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

hihihihihihihihihihiihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihjhihhhihhihihihihihihiihihihihihihihihihihihihiihihiihihihihihihihihihihiihihihihiihihihi

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a saxaphone playing unicorn, that's flying away to a distant planet on a penguin? a dream

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops