An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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How did the blonde get Lost in her house? Netflix.

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What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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This is apparently the only way to get to the "under review" section.

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How many girls does ittake to screw in a lightbulb? Doesnt matter as long as dinner is on the table by 6:00

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What's clear on the outside and grey on the inside? An elephant in a plastic bag.

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If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

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Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt a black guy ate him.

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How do you get twenty black men in a tiny car? Saw them into pieces.

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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guess what? chicken butt.

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Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

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your mama so old, shes dead.

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Knock knock Who's there Boo Boo who DONT BE SUCH A PUS*Y

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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