2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

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12

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Q: How can you fit 1000 jews in one car? A: The Ashtray

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jack and jill climbed up the hill but they were bagels

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have herpes. If I were you I would get tested.

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Why did the baby stop crying? Because he stopped breathing.

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

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What do you get if you cross a man and a horse? Severe internal bleeding.

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Jojobas Witness open up

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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Yo momma is so old that she will be moved to a nursing home next week.

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what did the woman say when her husband punched her? nothing. she was physically abused for 35 years before she killed herself

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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Double rainbow? What does it mean? Well, a "double rainbow" is a phenomenon of optics that displays a spectrum of light due to the sun shining on droplets of moisture in the atmosphere. Does that explain it?

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? The person who made that "joke" down there has no life ?

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whats 2+2? 1

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B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

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hi

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What do you call you're mum? Depends who's reading it or just mum

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Roses are black, Violets are too. I am colorblind, How about you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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