Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's black, blue, and red all over? A baby after I kill it

thumb_up thumb_down -19

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the DJ play at the disco? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill? Confused, mind bruised, it seeps out It seeps out, it seeps out Face down, home town looks so grey Looks so grey, looks so grey Convexed you bend, twist and shout Twist and shout, twist and shout Stand up brush off get moving Get moving, get moving What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) Face down, home town, face down, home town Face down, home town, it looks so grey (x4) What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/monster_lyrics_automatic_the.html All about Automatic The: http://www.musictory.com/music/Automatic+The

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Jewish man and a blonde were in a DIY store, the man buys a box of screws. The woman gets a phone call to find out her son is late for tennis training. She then hangs up the phone and leaves the DIY store with great hast.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

guy walks into a bar, ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why didn't the cow go to the candy store It had diabetes poor cow :(

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what did the dog say when he walked in to a bar? Bark

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What was the last thing the clown said to his wife before she died? Rebecca, just stay with me, the ambulance is almost here.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops