how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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What did the pillow say to the dragon? Nothing, because pillows don't talk, dragons aren't real and this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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What did the blind boy get for Christmas? The same toys from last year.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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How can you tell if someone is gay? It depends, sometimes they can be flamboyant or not. Actually, one could be straight and still be flamboyant, that's what makes the world less boring. Everyone is different, there's no surefire way of knowing, unless of course they tell you that they're gay.

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How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

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Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

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Make little things count Teach midgets math

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

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girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

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Whats brown and sticky A stick!!!!

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

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What did Lil Jimmi received at his birthday ? A red fire truck and he loved it

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You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

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A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

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A black man and a Mexican are hired as day laborers by a white man. The black man cleans the house while the Mexican mows and trims the yard. Both are hard-working and attempting to provide for their families in a down economy.

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A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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i committed murder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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