whats brown and smells like shit shit

It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

how do you kill Lady Gaga? with a gun.

I'm so hot my father calls me son.

The ability to live the life of a dead person.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

You might be a redneck if you are a an uneducated white farm laborer from the south.

Why did the British person go to the dentist? He had a poor diet which led to him getting cavities

whats worse than stubbing your toe? getting a vanarial disease and going insane

Your moms so dumb she stuffed a battery up her butt and said i got the POWA!

Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

Why did the chicken cross the road? Boom! Splat! You'll never know.

"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

Do you know mirror has 6 letters and half of then are r's?

What happened to the boy after he ate a piece of Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

what did the little boy say to little girl? I shit bricks.

Why did Jane get pregnant Because she bought a man's semen and put it in her vagina.

What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

Why did the homeless man cross the road? The soup kitchen has just reopened after months of rebuilding from a fire. He was very hungry.

Why weren't u sad when your sister died? You lived in a hut and were supplied with food for a week

9

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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