Wanna hear a joke? 9-11

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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What is brown and sounds like a pickle? Poop

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

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Why Did The Girl Fall Off The Swing. IDK maybe she fell asleep.

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what happened to your gran you tell me

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What has feathers, and is known to fly? A bird

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb lady name her kid? Sebastion.

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Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

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Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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Did you hear about the 2 car crash in a walmart parking lot? 50 mexicans died

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Joker2? Who comes up with the names anyways? Sounds like a stupid version of the matrix... Anyways, I stutter because my nerves are killing me, I cant quit the painkillers cold turkey if I cant sleep without them, besides I am used to physical pain as tragic as that might sound... Its not when you get used to it. I need to know who this Neo-Nero was, for anyone that can tell me, he is not around here at these hours, and during the time he/she I was dead, did considerable damage to my and my orders reputation, I need a face to face talk to someone that would put aside my chosen successor and assume my role, and I wont let that happen again even if it means bruising up this Neo-me a bit.

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Why did the Mexican mow his neighbors lawn? Because the Mexican was 12 years old and his neighbor was paying him $20 to mow the lawn.

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an emo kid walks into mcdonalds and orders a happy meal

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog.

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What's red and blue and goes 105 MPH? A red and blue car.

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Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

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Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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