My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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If life throws you melons... ouch

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You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

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What do you get when you come across a blonde. Depression, because you want to do her, but you know that will never happen cause you spend to much time sitting on your ass looking at anti-jokes.

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Why do we need to keep answering encryption codes? Because you can't keep a good Jew down (Wyndellberg)

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Your social life.

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Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

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what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

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Whats better than 24? 25.

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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Q: Why did the guy ring the doorbell? A: Because he was sick of all the crappy knock-knock jokes

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Where's Waldo? Six feet under.

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? Perhaps he didn't believe in banks.

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Some really old band covered Dirty Bit. But the cut out the Dirty Bit part so its just the Time of life part

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How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Her friends have strongly encouraged her to proactively contact the IRS to see if she can undergo a repayment plan of some sort and obtain governmental assistance for her future filings.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a person of Jewish descent and the other is a device for traversing waterways akin to the raft.

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melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

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You know what they say about men with big feet? Big penis.

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans on fire? Jumping Beans.

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What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

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How dead people are in a graveyard? All of them

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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