Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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How do you cheer up a sad caterpillar? KILL IT WITH FIRE

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you know what ice cream's made out of, right? milk.

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why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get me ball back.

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<=3 penis

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, the sky is grey so is the grass everything is grey, as i am colourblind

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What's worse than seeing 5 dead babies on the side of the road? Realizing slavery is banned after buying a perfectly good young black male for a reasonable price at your local walmart.

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How do you call a gay that is playing poker with friends You say "call" and place the right amount of fiches on the table, at that moment you are still in the race to win the pot.

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

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"Hey, why won't you let me through?" "These tickets are fake." "No they aren't. LOOK OVER THERE!" The guard turns around, and then turns back. Minorly inconvenienced, he arrests the man immediately, upon which he is sent to jail and anally raped multiple times.

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Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

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Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

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Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

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Niall Horan

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How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? 17

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why was the boy running? because his skin was burning off

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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