what did the paraplegic man get for Christmas? a unicycle

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If life throws you melons... ouch

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why didn't the family go through the door? Because it was a window.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

thumb_up thumb_down -8

It is cruel to want a "sky full of lighters" as, according to the Laws of Gravity, the lighters will eventually come back down to earth and incinerate everything below them.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you get when you mix a bever and a racoon? A bevecoon!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

roses are red, violets are blue, ive no money for presents, happy christmas everybody

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Knock Knock Who's there? Not Michael Jackson!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Dave: Heyy Steve! Steve: Oh heyy Dave! Dave: The word of the day is legs! Steve: so? Dave: So lets go back to your place and spread the word? Steve: ....How about right now? ;) Both: HEY EVERYONE..WE'RE GUNNA HAVE SEX!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

the comment about daniel was fron brock

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops