what is a present you would give a werewolves? I said... OBAMA!!! tee hee

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Kill his family.

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Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

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This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

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knock knock who's there? ketchup ketchup who? better catchup with me!

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What did one ear say to the other ear? Did you hear that?

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Where did little susie go during the explosion? Everywhere :) What color were her eyes? Blue. One blew this way and one blew the other way. :p Knock, knock Who's there? Not susie :)

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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what does a gay horse eat heeyyyyy

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What is faster? A mustang or a corvette? A fighter jet you stupid idiotic piece of crap!

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A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

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your mamas so fat all she gets for christmas and her birthday is girdles!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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