What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

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What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

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Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

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What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

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Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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Why did George Bush blow up the Twin Towers on 9/11? 9/12 was his girlfriends birthday.

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Why was 6 scared of me? cause i ate 9

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Jesus steps out of a boat, and walks across the water to shore. He's such a show of. Only an attention whore would leave a boat and walk across water for no good reason.

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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what did one bean say to the other bean??? hows it been.

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Theres a monkey that walks into a bar. I forget the rest of the joke but your moms a w****

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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The 17 year old buy called his computers support number to remove a virus from his old computer, so he can gift the computer to his little cousin for his birthday. But before giving the computer to his cousin he downloaded over 120 hours of adult film onto it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops