Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

Knock knock! Who's there? A bottle of beer. No thanks, I've been sober for 15 years.

How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

Q. What do you call a guy who only drinks lite beer. A. His name.

Who kille the Mockingbird? George Bush: i wish i could know the answer for this question, but belive me i am thinking.

bergin y u so tubbbbbyyyy?????

The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

hey bill!

Who's Italian and plays with a peach? Mario

Why is Ellen Degeneres gay? Because she likes the same sex

why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

space is fun

Knock Knock.. Who's there? The IRS, you owe $50,000 in back taxes and we're repossessing your home.

i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

What do u call a bunch of black dudes burried from their necks down? Afro-turf

A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna ride bikes?

"Hello." "Hi."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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