why was the boy laying on the ground? he got shot in the head

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland? Because if he's an actual historical figure he would have been born in modern day Palestine.

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Whos the best Jewish Cook? Hitler.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? -absolut vodka Well, you have a sirious drinking problem...

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Why is Joe is ugly? I dont Know

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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How many dead babies can you fit in a telephone booth? Mmm, strange question for my HSC maths exam...

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Two penguins are sitting on an ice flow. One says to the other: "hey--you know, it looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other one says, "who says I'm not?"

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Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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What's inside that man's house? Atoms.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Why did you just verbalize the onomatopoeic sound of knocking on my door rather than taking the action itself?

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What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A Polack walks into a bar. Which makes sense because the bar was in Warsaw.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends how hard you throw them.

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What's clear and wet?? Water (I think)

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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What did the prostitute say to the pimp? Can I have $50? She was found three minutes later beaten to death with a purple cane, and had many imprssions of rings in her skull

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what would u do if you were having anal sex with a black guy and his penis was sooooo big that it ripped ur asshole? staple it back together

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Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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