What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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Roses are red, Violets are violet

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I stole your wallet and used to buy a prostitute. I had a great time. What was the question again?

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

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What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was among thousands of men who were also from Nantucket.

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Did you hear about the alter boy that wasn't molested by a priest?

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Hey Patrick Yea? I found something funnier then 24 Give to me buddy 25

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A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

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what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

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K

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

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Rejected Disney titles: - 1,000,000,001 Dalmatians: The Need of Neutering - Beauty and the Bricks - Zambi: the Walking Deer - The Iron King 2: Simba's Ferride - The Little Mormon - Cinderella 4: The Fairy Godfather and his Mafia - Tarzipan of the Choco-Apes - Brother Boar - Home on Deranged - The Emperor's New Sith Apprentice - Mickey and the Mousetrap - Lilo and B**ch

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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what did the noob say to the gamer your a gamer nooob

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Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

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Guess what's funny? People voting for their own Anti joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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