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Philosoraptor, turds IM A SPAMBOTz B=Not really, just blind.

If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

Q: What has four legs and an arm. A: A pitbull on a playground

The Olympics

No, I still have to make sense of some facts bits and pieces here, and thinking is pretty much the only thing I can do at this moment, so why would my doppelganger wannabe call me from her mothers place?

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

ok so there was a black guy a white guy and an asian in a bar.so the asian guy says lets leave and they all exited the bar.

why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

Is Charlie Sheen bi-polar? Yes.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

69

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

A politician from the National Country Party keeps interjecting - "I'm a country member, i'm a country member' "yes we remember" says Gough whitlam

What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Why did he? NO I LOST THE CHICKEN Later: Knock knock Who's there The chicken

Why did the Jewish business man cross the road? A: to go to his reasonable paying job at a business.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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