What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

What do you call an asian that is black? Please tell me, I was asking a question.

What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

How did Muhammed Ali get into Professional Boxing? With a lot of hard work and dedication.

Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: Hahahaha! I can't read.

Why did the teenager write a joke on here? Because after hours of surfing this website and casually laughing at herself she realized she had no life and the only way to feel happy with her self would be submitting her own to here.

-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

Your mom's so dumb she has cancer...... oh wait that's racist

What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

Why couldn't the Jeffersons adopt a black baby? Their fireplace was empty.

A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

what did the blind orphan with no legs get for christmas? cancer.

How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

What's the difference between a chicken and a 3 legged dog? There are numerous differences. I will not however go into the biological explanations of these differences.

How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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