What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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why was it funny that the boy got a razor for christmas because he had leukemia

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Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

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What's black and white and red all over? A nazi flag

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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penis

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Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

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How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

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Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens live on farms.

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What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

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A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips and falls violently.

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What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

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Micael Jackson enters a bar. Everyone screams, and then someone runs over and pulls the cheap mask off the impersonator's face. Michael Jackson IS DEAD, get over it

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hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

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Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky won the swimming race? He's in very good shape for a man his age.

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A black man confronts a small white man on the sidewalk and asks for money. The white man responded "no".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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