"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin. You already told her twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the astronaut say at AA? Alcohol is ruining my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

That joke was so funny that I fell off my dinosaur. Then afterwards had to be put in a rehabilitation center because I am schizophrenic and dinosaurs are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the Mexican go to the food marke To get some food.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A paraplegic walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I don't believe in giraffes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A guys walks up to a drug dealing looking to score some drugs. The deal was made an the man quickly arrested the drug dealer because he was actually a undercover cop

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There are two cows standing in a field eating grass. The first cow says "moo", the second cow says "Thats funny, I was about to say that".

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's brown and sticky? a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you make a tissue dance? You really can't, but you could grab it and shake it around so it looks like its dancing.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Alien vs. Predator = Evil Staplers vs. Evil Jamaicans

thumb_up thumb_down -4

jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. jack fell down and broke his crown, and is now in intensive care.

thumb_up thumb_down +92

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the little hamster die? Because it had a careless owner who never paid any attention to it. therefor it passed away.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops