How do you stop a black man from drowning? Bring him to shore and, if you are certified, perform cpr.

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

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Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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What did the rat say to the snake when it ate it. Nothing for the rat is a rat and there for can not communicate through talk to the snake nor could it survive as the snake's digestive system disintegrated it in a matter of minutes.

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This dog can only sniff marijuana.

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Jovan

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Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

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What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

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Neil Lewis

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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How does a black man put puzzles together? First, he locates the four corners. Next, he begins filling in the sides. Finally, he uses the picture on the box to fill in the center. It can be a very tedious process if he is not paying attention.

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whats the difference from a jew and a christian the jew got arrested for rape

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What is the meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything in it? I'm not sure at rhe moment, but it will take aproximately seven and a half million years of thinking for me to find out.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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What happened when the man rubbed the magical lamp? Nothing.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me. Me Who? Me. Uh.

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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Q: Whatcha doin?? A:Ur mom. . .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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