Why was the fat girl a virgin? Good morals

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Whats worse than losing The Game? The Holocaust

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Deadly cancer.

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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Jacob licked out his buthole again. It was becoming a usual thing for him to do, it suddenly became one of his hobbies and wanted to lick more, so he started licking MR. Macs

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

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theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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What did one Dentist say to the other? You are fat.

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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what rhymes with pirates? not Somalia because i don't consider a inflatable boat a pirate ship.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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A small boy called peter got stuck up a tree, a man walks past and said "how did you get up there?" peter replies "i fell"

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Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

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A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

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Roses are red, violets are violet. I'm not stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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