A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

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A cat walks by a chineese buffet, the owner kindly puts food and water outside the door so it doesnt die

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Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

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Andy Carrol

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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Why didn't the black guy where a seat belt? I don't know but he should've because hes dead.

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what do you call a black pilot? a pilot

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Why didn't the girl make the basketball team? She has no arms or legs.

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Why did the man buy Trojan for his women? It's condom curtsey.

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whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

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How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

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Why did the black guy have a nice sterio? He has a well paying job and decided to treat himself.

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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What happened when they asked Steve if he was feeling blue? He confessed and went to prison for a long time for molesting that poor dog.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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What is the priest favorite book? The Bible

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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