Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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whats long ,hard and full of sea men ? a sumureen

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According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

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whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

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What's the difference between a black preist and a white priest? the color of their skin.

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum it can be done.

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What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

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A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

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Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

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A genie walks into a bar. The bartender asks for three wishes. The genie says "okay". The bartender says "I wish I was the richest person in the world." The genie says "okay." Then He woke up

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar everyone is amazed because the surgery he just got cured his parilization

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Mahmy

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Why couldn't Scruffy get out from under the car? It had parked on his skull.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange Who? Oranges are very good for you and enriched with vitamin C that is apparently good to intake when you are experiencing cold/flu like symptoms during the winter season and your doctor won't give you medication because you aren't sick enough and you already ask for medication to much because you think you are always sick with something. That's what happens when you're a hypochondriac.

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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This is a bad anti-joke. Just kidding, it's a good one.

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How do you know when it's hot outside? When you walk oside and it's hot.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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Q: What's big, black, and smelly? A: The unemployment line.

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A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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