What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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God is religiously proven to be real

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I shot a bitch.

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So a jew walks into a bar!

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Womens rights

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Homo say what?

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Which of the following is the biggest? A. 7 B. 17 C. 71 D. Yo mama

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom is dead And your dad is too

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whats white and pointless? chalk.

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Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

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Jaden McMichael

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-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

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What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There's no way to know. The chicken can't speak any humanly comprehensible languages so any reason we can determine is pure speculation.

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

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Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

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Q: How did the black man own the Lamborgini? A: He was 2 Chainz.

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whats the differnce between a corvette and a pile of dead babies??? i dont have a corvette in my garage.

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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A blonde woman with her son are in walmart , as they approach the food and beverage section , they see a mexican man looking at the eggs. The man asks for help from the blonde woman about egg quality. She says ABD Eggs are the best so the mexican guy chooses that. Upon leaving the little boy points to the mexicans guys hat and shouts "ALIENS !" the mother gets really embarassed and shouts at her son for his behaviour and says it is not right. The mum gets relieved that she say that the mexican guy could not hear since he was listening to music. Upon the way out the mum spots a purplish liquid dripping out of the mexican guys hair. She asks him and he replies "Its the hair gel". The blonde and son nods and continues on their lives. - AK

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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