A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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How did the people get into the pyramid?? They didn't

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How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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There once was a man in Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He awoke with a fright In the middle of the night To find that someone was breaking into his house

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? That depends on what his name is.

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What is brown red and white? I don't know, that's why I asked you

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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Jewish People

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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What is white and can't walk? A PVC Pipe.

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If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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Is there any non dirty numbers these days, 69, just kidding

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Doctor, I am afraid of doctors, I dont even dare seek them up. Janitor: Thats quite apparent... Dr.Moral:

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how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

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I bet you read this. Told ya.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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